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Madness set to play HMV Closure Concert

London Nutty Boys Madness confirmed today that they would be performing at Feltham HMV to mark the store’s closure Last year was a hectic year for the boys, gigging all over the country, on top of...

brownpaperreporter 22.03.13 6:33pm
Cyprus sunk in effort to save Euro

The island of Cyprus was disappeared last night in what European Union sources have described as "reasonable and proportionate action to get the Euro crisis under control." Cyprus, to be known...

BAJDixon 22.03.13 6:26pm
Emergency Services introduce "Hi-vis jacket potato"

hat tip to Perks from a while ago. North Face story...

nickb 22.03.13 6:13pm
Ribbed crisps “do not increase sexual pleasure” says study

A survey of over one hundred couples has revealed that despite claims to the contrary, ribbed crisps do not increase intensity of orgasm for either partner. Twelve flavours and three brands were...

CulchaVulcha 22.03.13 6:03pm
BBC in grooming controversy

The BBC has been shaken today by more accusations of sexual abuse. It has been revealed that the Met Police are investigating several historic claims of grooming by high profile BBC journalists...

godly1966 22.03.13 5:53pm
Biscuiteer still not sure whether to enter Neato

Biscuiteer Godly1966 has announced he is still undecided whether to enter this week’s neato on the subject of procrastination, in a statement just released he explains his predicament. “I always...

godly1966 22.03.13 5:04pm

To be continued...

bonjonelson 22.03.13 4:37pm
Masterchef's Gregg Wallace set to wed Banoffee Pie

In what is being billed as the social event of the year, TV presenter Gregg Wallace is to marry a 12 inch Banoffee Pie in August. Known for his love of puddings, Wallace met his pastry princess just...

Pat Mustard 22.03.13 3:45pm
Tired female Exec collapses on escalator & is accused of sleeping her way to top 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 22.03.13 3:34pm
Entire country favours crunchy outer layer to their bread 3
charlies_hat 22.03.13 12:46pm
19th Sept 2014 "Away wi' you Jimmy" day announced

Following hot on the heels of Alex Salmond's announcement that the day for the Scottish referendum regarding independence has been set for 18th September 2014, the English government have declared...

irreverendJ 22.03.13 11:29am
Job sighting in East Midlands 'just an IDS'

Reports of a job sighting somewhere in the East Midlands have been greeted with scepticism by experienced job seekers. 'It's probably just another IDS,'said unemployed Gary Bristow, who explained...

roybland 22.03.13 11:22am
Scientists develop formula for "the perfect Daily Mail reader comment"

Scientists in Stevenage were celebrating last night after developing a formula that provides a "perfect Daily Mail reader comment", guaranteeing the optimum number of green arrows regardless of the...

james_patching_1 22.03.13 10:52am
Man buys shop in Greenwich Village - Store in a cool place 0
Smart Alex 22.03.13 10:50am
Smart Alex
Cyprus credit rating downgraded to CCCP 5
medici2471 22.03.13 10:48am
Osborne Kicked In Balls’ ‘Asprin Nation’ Attack

Chancellor George Osborne’s ‘aspiration nation’ mantra was today savagely attacked as an ineffective placebo fooling none of the public by Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls. “Quack Doctor Osborne...

Reg Herring 22.03.13 9:33am
Reg Herring
Aspiration nation already short of breath 0
roybland 22.03.13 8:42am
Indigo 'not a real colour' say scientists

Scientists at the Massachusetts institute of Optics and Light have decided that indigo is not a colour after all. “In reality” a spokesman said “ when you look at the rainbow, no-one can see...

blacklesbianandproudofit 22.03.13 8:38am
Username entrepreneurs unsure what to do when website actually makes money 0
Dumbnews 22.03.13 6:01am
Hugh Grant to star in new rom com as loveless fop who hates free speech 0
ronseal 22.03.13 1:40am
Jesus masturbates twice in a row, dubbed the “Second Cumming of Christ” 16
Gary Gonads 22.03.13 12:24am
Plot to 'Hack Off' Justin Bieber's head 'not a problem', says Leverson 0
topfotogmw 22.03.13 12:20am
Premier league clubs outraged that new FA chair is a Dyke. 1
deskpilot3 22.03.13 12:12am
Branson claims curriculum in a right old pickle 0
irreverendJ 22.03.13 12:09am
Tesco's 'What burgers have taught us' leaflet - first draft

The problem we’ve had with some of our meat lately, is about more than burgers and Bolognese., It’s about you finding out the ways we get meat to your dinner table., It’s about the whole...

Perks 21.03.13 11:53pm
Obama settles the settlements

President Obama today unsettled the Palestinians and Israelis by settling for a settlement calling for no settlements by the Israelis while the Palestinians should settle for settlements. Israel...

Not Amused 21.03.13 11:51pm
Not Amused
Some Thin Fishy

Today, 83 year old deep sea fisherman Stan Hargreaves berated the state of our seas, saying that regardless of the EU laws on catch size and water quality the waters are clearly continuing to be over...

Big Ben 21.03.13 11:51pm
Not Amused
Deep Throat star Harry Reems dead...

It came as quite a blow said his wife...

misterjingles 21.03.13 11:50pm
Girls (not) Allowed to sing again 2
irreverendJ 21.03.13 11:36pm
Big Ben
Scotland’s mass suicide attempt will be in October 2014

Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond has revealed that Scotland will go to the polls in October next year to vote upon whether they should commit collective suicide. ‘Autumn is the season for...

Dickens or Shakespeare 21.03.13 11:28pm