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‘It’s not doublespeak’ insists Cameron. ‘It’s “speakdouble”. 3
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

David Cameron moved swiftly today to deny that new government guidelines on use of technical jargon amounted to an “Orwellian hijack” of the English language. ‘We know there are subtleties the...

Irish police hunt for shy, insecure terrorists after outrage by diffident IRA... 5
be reasonable 3 years

Or, possibly, a real bastard with a lisp...

Cash-strapped Gaddafi ‘to sell entire ’sixties wardrobe’ 0
malgor 3 years

Christies Auction House has confirmed that they have taken instructions from Libya’s Col. Gaddafi to sell his entire collection of ‘military-style uniforms’, many of which were bought in...

Elephant accused of blowing his own strumpet 0
OldThingy 3 years
Devon man discovers that he is "Tinkerbell" on new Facebook quiz. 0
nannyknowsbest 3 years

James Peasmold Gruntfuttuck from Devon discovered tonight that, on a brand new "mind improving" application on Facebook that his "Disney Cartoon Character" was no less than "Tinkerbell". "This has...

Documentary maker's race against time to create melodrama with shaky camera work 5
ronseal 3 years

A documentary film maker has just 24 hours to impose an arbitrary deadline on his programme - or he could risk losing everything, including a narrative, a dramatic atmosphere for his crap documentary...

Man Christened 'Isaac Cox' to sue his own parents... 4
be reasonable 3 years
World Cup: Thrilling Climax at Wankaday Stadium 0
theumpire 3 years

more when I get my breath back...

Mystery blond is just new Stig claims Clarkson. Wife remains unconvinced. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More bombshells soon...

'Man United star escapes ban' now sport's most frequently used cliche 0
ronseal 3 years
Nintendo to release anti-obesity game 0
Mrblacker 3 years

To meet the demands of a Western population that's growing in number and waistline, the games giant Nintendo's to release a specialist anti-obesity variant of their popular canine maintenance game....

george michael to re release his song about a shy singer, Diffident Crooner. 0
arthurminnit 3 years

coat, fetched...

Indiscriminate acronym use 'devaluing comedy' says researcher 4
QorbeQ 3 years

A report commissioned by the European Office of Internet Affairs (EOIA) claims that overuse of slang terms in text messages and internet chatter is causing the value of humour to drop significantly...

Police fear Carpenter who killed girlfriends had 'Only Just Begun' 2
MADJEZ 3 years
Weary R4 listeners set up anti-Nicholas Parsons website, GoCompere.com 6
pinxit 3 years
Indian Call Centre workers “fed up with speaking to British customers” 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years

In a poll across several major Indian call centres, the local workforce has voiced its growing concern that more of their customers are coming from abroad, and predominantly Britain. The top...

Jackson estate objects to erection of Al Fayed statue outside Neverland 0
simonjmr 3 years
Prince Philip unveils Al-Fayed statue at Buckingham Place "to attract tourists". 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

"If they don't like it, they can go to Germany"...

Men should aim for 'achievably average' says study 0
QorbeQ 3 years

A new study, commissioned by men's health and wellbeing magazine 'Nuts', reveals that most men try far too hard when trying to attract a potential soulmate. The results of the long-term study have...

Panic stamp-buying causes forecourt chaos 0
QorbeQ 3 years

A 12% rise in the price of first class stamps has caused panic-buying amongst the letter-sending public, with forecourt queues countrywide as customers clamour to top up with cut-price postage at...

Joe Carr confesses "I'm not the prankster, people think I am!" 1
simonjmr 3 years
Eddie Stobart's funeral to feature a 24 headlight flash salute 0
simonjmr 3 years

The coffin will be drapped with the distinctive green, white and red livery of the company. More soon...

RSPB ALARMED BY REDUCTION OF BILL ODDIE SIGHTINGS ACROSS THE UK, 2
3 years

other than this recent BBC clip on 'The Bearded Tit'. http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Bearded_Reedling#p007yxzf...

Cardbord box manufactures welcome news of 'Sweeny' remake. 3
Ian Searle 3 years

Things are also looking up for the owners of disused wharehouses...

New RPI figures delayed as Osborne chooses wrong queue 0
ianslat 3 years

George Osborne has today confirmed that this month’s Retail Price Index figures will be late due to the fact that he chose the wrong queue whilst gathering inflation data in Asda last week. ‘It...

Russel Brand cast as rabbit, finds he has a lot in common with his character. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
House that looks like Hitler goes on 60 Minute Makeover, now looks like Gadaffi. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
French mayor throws "the fallen Madonna with the big boobies" out of town hall. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Graphic designer asked to tone it down. 2
SingingHinny 3 years
Disaster as ‘Come Dine With Me’ narrator hosts own dinner party 0
jp1885 3 years

Friends and relatives of Dave Lamb, narrator of the popular Channel 4 lifestyle show ‘Come Dine With Me’, have expressed concern for his safety after the comedian, actor and voiceover artiste...