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Alleged Criminal Told ... "We've Haven't Got Enough Evidence To Convict You ...

so we're going to deprive you of your liberty until you say 'Sorry' to the alleged victims."...

0
Titus 19.01.14 6:46pm
Titus
UKIP a complete cult 0
Kevin the Swan 19.01.14 6:37pm
Kevin the Swan
UKIP to be recognised as a religion. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 19.01.14 6:35pm
Al OPecia
McAlpine "not as well constructed as advertised". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 19.01.14 6:34pm
Al OPecia
Chinese to fake 'fake moon landing'.

Chinese space officials today admitted that they are sending real astronauts to the moon, as it is easier than faking a moon-landing convincingly. "Modelling the low gravity on a sound stage is a...

3
Last Hussar 19.01.14 6:32pm
Al OPecia
Kids benefiting from state education to hand over pocket money at school gates

Students at state schools who receive over £10 a week in pocket money will be stopped at the school gates by monitors, nicknamed 'Gove's Angels', and forced to voluntarily donate the cash to school...

0
Plot126 19.01.14 6:02pm
Plot126
UKIP calls for ban on the song "It's raining men". More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 19.01.14 5:51pm
blokefromstoke
Newsbiscuit fury as UKIP go beyond parody

More to follow...

5
apepper 19.01.14 5:40pm
Titus
UKIP Councillor explains warm winters on heterosexual marriages

More to follow...

0
apepper 19.01.14 3:07pm
apepper
David Cameron to 'declare war on God'

There has been outcry in parliament today following the revelation, announced by David Cameron, that the Conservative party had long been intending to declare war on the public figure and global...

2
MiracleFirefly 19.01.14 2:58pm
Squudge
Putin: "Some of my best political prisoners are gay" 5
Bigglesworth 19.01.14 2:40pm
Vulcanised Rubber
'Gays welcome in Sochi', says Putin. 'At least they won’t frighten the whores'. 0
Tripod 19.01.14 2:32pm
Tripod
Putin denies that pictures of him hunting and fishing topless is gay propaganda

More to follow...

0
Vulcanised Rubber 19.01.14 1:26pm
Vulcanised Rubber
'Innocent Face' comes out of hiding

With the death of notoriously guilt-free yet stunningly litigious Lord McAlpine, the emoticon formally known as 'the smug one' has emerged from exile. Although Sally Bercow, Alan Davies and the BBC...

0
Wrenfoe 19.01.14 11:51am
Wrenfoe
Cocker Spaniel Condemns "Dog Whistle Politics"

Walkies at 1...

0
blokefromstoke 19.01.14 10:33am
blokefromstoke
'Not guilty means never having to say you're sorry' says Lib Dem Peer‏

While accusations of sexual harassment still persist, Baron Rennard of Wavertree has sensibly opted for the 'Ryan O'Neal defense' rather than sticking a big sign on his head saying 'I love civil...

0
Wrenfoe 19.01.14 10:22am
Wrenfoe
UKIP Councillor blames floods on gay marriage

In further developments; astrologers blames lost keys on position of Saturn...

0
apepper 19.01.14 10:22am
apepper
Christ The Redeemer seen sucking thumb- theologists more smug than usual. 0
needabettergig 19.01.14 9:16am
needabettergig
ITV happy they'll get damages refund after he's dead. 3
MADJEZ 19.01.14 12:58am
MADJEZ
Teachers grade Gove book flop: F for effort

Waterstones have today announced that pre-orders for the hotly anticipated manual, [i]Teaching: Everything I know,[/i] have been spiraling into negative figures. The instruction manual, penned by...

3
KateWritesStuff 19.01.14 12:23am
Kevin the Swan
Young Antarctic explorer "would have preferred Thorpe Park " for birthday treat 0
Bigglesworth 18.01.14 11:52pm
Bigglesworth
UKIP Sued for Intellectual Property Theft by Two Ronnie's Scriptwriter

Homosexuality related extreme weather policy stole from 70's Urals, Trossachs and golden shower jokes, claims BBC. More soon...

1
John Roughty 18.01.14 11:48pm
Kevin the Swan
Environment Agency to issue 'Splash' guidebook

The Environment Agency and a committee representing leading property insurance providers have responded to the recent crisis by producing a booklet explaining where not to buy a house. A government...

9
Squudge 18.01.14 11:44pm
Kevin the Swan
Mass redundancies announced among libel lawyers. Industry decimated. 1
MADJEZ 18.01.14 10:48pm
Titus
Gay "Marriage" Responsible For England's Ashes Defeat

Well, it seems to have caused every other recent disaster...

0
Titus 18.01.14 10:42pm
Titus
Southern Shandy Awarded Protected Status

There was delight on the streets of Reading, Maidenhead, Gillingham and London today as the region celebrated Southern Shandy being awarded protected food name status in the latest EU announcements.,...

9
james_doc 18.01.14 9:57pm
Jesse Bigg
Nigel Farrage seen banging head against lampost in Henley.

Word of the lord plus sports and weather at 1...

0
blokefromstoke 18.01.14 9:47pm
blokefromstoke
Arizona teenager single-handedly unicycles to the South Pole

“I just like penguins, especially when they fall over and get up again” said the teenager, who unicycled from Phoenix, Arizona. I don’t know if my mom and dad will be proud of me cos sadly they...

0
farmer giles 18.01.14 9:22pm
farmer giles
Captain "Buster" Jargon RN admits bumping subs with gay abandon ........

. following flooding caused by a grand easement in two blocked loop holes. Not much more soon...

0
BewsNiscuit 18.01.14 8:50pm
BewsNiscuit
Google unveils smart contact lenses to combat obesity.

Google has proudly claimed that it is testing a "smart contact lens" that will help the morbidly obese to lose weight. The lens contains a microchip which projects the image of a curly, ginger pube...

1
dominic_mcg 18.01.14 8:06pm
Tripod