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Internet porn block ‘will render smartphones effectively useless’

The expected announcement that UK internet providers will block access to pornography by default has led to warnings that the move will leave the nation’s estimated 30 million smartphones as...

Spartacus 22.07.13 3:23pm
Cameron's porn law is "thin end of the butt plug", complain users 1
pere floza 22.07.13 3:21pm
Duchess of Cambridge first royal to "put in a days labour" in a generation

probably loads more later...

grottymonty 22.07.13 3:12pm
Online access to c*nts, tits and arses means faces closure 2
antharrison 22.07.13 3:10pm
Topless tour buses to be banned, says Cameron. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 22.07.13 2:48pm
'It's a boy...and a girl!' declares Erwin Schrödinger to waiting media

More soon. And not...

Skylarking 22.07.13 2:38pm
Demise of village store 'A tragedy' says man who shops at Tesco

Mike Lever from Chelford in Cheshire is one of the hundreds of villagers lamenting the closure of his local village store. 'I drive past it every couple of days on my way to Tesco, and it always...

antharrison 22.07.13 2:34pm
Stephen Hawking escapes on foot from benefits fraud investigators 5
sydalg 22.07.13 2:32pm
Westwood burns clubs after open loss. "I have plenty of irons in the fire"

no more soon...

Not Amused 22.07.13 2:21pm
David Cameron blocks all pornography so we can all focus on one vagina 2
AReader 22.07.13 2:07pm
Argentina quietly reclaims the Falklands as Britain celebrates 'baby bollocks'

Argentinian forces have successfully reclaimed the Falkland Islands today with 'absolutely no bother whatsoever', to the complete surprise of British military officials, who admit they were...

Jesus H 22.07.13 2:04pm
Jesus H
Study finds most miserable people very happy inside 0
Dumbnews 22.07.13 1:47pm
Kate's love tunnel to be awarded Royal Warrant 0
cinquecento 22.07.13 1:25pm
Internet users will have to opt in if they want to access royal baby news

PLEASE!!! In a new crackdown spearheaded by David Cameron. Possessing images of mindless speculation and conjecture will also be made a crime. The filter will be automatically enabled for new...

Ian Searle 22.07.13 12:54pm
Ian Searle
Nation celebrates as 'Charles Ears Syndrome' skips another generation

The Royal Family have released a statement to the waiting world today, praising the efforts of medical staff at St Mary's Hospital for their 'attentive and professional care' in recent days, and have...

Jesus H 22.07.13 12:44pm
Jesus H
Breaking news: Kate "baby" reports heard by waiting masses

Royal Obstetricians are hinting that the Royal bump was in fact a record-breaking case of trapped wind, after the Princess' bearing down produced little more than a "sickening fog of rotten eggs and...

D161TAL 22.07.13 12:30pm
Buckingham Palace confirms Milliband is in Labour 6
Scronnyglonkle 22.07.13 12:07pm
Lens Cap
"Cameron cracks off on online pornography."

Sorry, I misread the Grauniad headline. "off" should read "down". Or should it?...

olddoc 22.07.13 11:57am
Feud Standards Agency call urgent meeting with Robbie Williams & Liam Gallagher 1
bonjonelson 22.07.13 11:52am
John Wiltshire
Shane Warne to retire from all forms of mockery

Shane Warne today announced his retirement from being the sports world's laughing stock. At a press conference today, attended by a couple of journalists form The Guardian who are too left wing to...

John Wiltshire 22.07.13 11:51am
John Wiltshire
Royal Gynaecologist to check Regina 0
Sinnick 22.07.13 11:20am
Royal gynaecologist relieved of duties after Regina joke considered poor taste 1
topfotogmw 22.07.13 11:19am
Dickie Arbiter "effectively Head of State" as royals go babe crazy 0
Drylaw 22.07.13 11:13am
Daily Mail headlines getting easier, says Daily Mail

The popular tabloid is reported to be in a state of soul-searching shock today after discovering that its headlines have got progressively simplistic over the past few years, reducing all new events...

sydalg 22.07.13 11:05am
Press excitement as Pippa Middleton's arse arrives at the hospital. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.07.13 10:37am
Bonjour! magazine to print photos of Kate breastfeeding. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.07.13 10:33am
EU agree to list the Lindo Wing of St Mary's hospital a terrorist organisation. 0
Lens Cap 22.07.13 10:28am
Lens Cap
Guantanamo Detention Camp to be outsourced to Hotel California 0
sydalg 22.07.13 10:27am
Gary Glitter named as Cameron's porn tsar. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 22.07.13 10:25am
Baby’s head sighted! Sorry, false alarm, it was just William Hague on TV... 0
Tripod 22.07.13 10:08am