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OFSTED criticises God's "poor communications skills"

An OFSTED report has severely criticised supreme being, God, for poor communication skills. The report claims that "most people have no idea what he's trying to say. He uses unproven media; dreams,...

apepper 12.06.13 2:03pm
Smashey and Nicey latest to be questioned by Operation Yewtree detectives 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 12.06.13 1:16pm
United Nations condemns Sony escalation of "Console Wars"

Ban Ki-moon, General Secretary of the United Nations, today led almost universal condemnation of Sony's "Blatant violation" of international law after its "provocative" Playstation 4 presentation...

Bigglesworth 12.06.13 1:00pm
Blackburn Blasts Bonkers Neil

Shocked Jock Tony Blackburn was seen running amok in the BBC’s Daily Politics show where he repeatedly called the shows host Andrew Neil “Bonkers” The veteran DJ had originally been brought in...

Scronnyglonkle 12.06.13 11:47am
Aloof Escort Agency offers range of impersonal services. 2
sredni vashta 12.06.13 11:19am
Essex woman found guilty of running Ford Escort agency 0
bonjonelson 12.06.13 11:07am
Pub manager attracts massive lunchtime crowd of spooks by Facebook liking Abu H

Pub landlord Dave lanchester was struggling to pay the bills - until he started posting pro Al Qaeda messages on his Facebook page. Pretty soon his pub was packed out with spooks every lunch time and...

ronseal 12.06.13 11:06am
Shock as woman touches Simon Cowell with 10 foot barge pole

An investigation is under way about an incident where a woman touched pop impresario Simon Cowell with a 10 foot barge pole. A spokesman for Mr Cowell explained; "Clearly this is a very disturbed...

apepper 12.06.13 10:01am
Buy the JML share issue tax dodger and get a JML Shadow Chancellor Balls today!

For only £1.65m* you could be the proud owner of the JML share issue tax dodger. This revolutionary new device makes influencing slightly less revolutionary, vapid second rate political parties a...

theinvisiblecitychannels 12.06.13 9:26am
Teacher refuses to mark girl's essay written on extending measuring device...

He won't tick her tape., Neato...

FOAD 12.06.13 9:23am
Mumsnet confirms “New Mums” will buy anything

Traditionally persuaded into accepting over-sized teddy bears, garish balloons or unwanted flowers; mothers who have recently given birth have often been seen as a soft sales target. However there is...

Wrenfoe 12.06.13 9:08am
Nick Griffin converts to liberalism after fact-finding mission to Damascus

Withdrawn , sorry...

Gary Stanton 12.06.13 9:03am
Irish parcel bomb falls apart. “Oi should'a used ticker tape”, says suspect 0
weematt 12.06.13 8:26am
Whoops! Wrong Room

I know. I should have knocked. Please feel free to give stars anyway...

Arthur 12.06.13 8:00am
Police remove Socialist Worker vendor from Torquay town square 0
Backup Brian 12.06.13 7:47am
Backup Brian
NHS hit mortality targets

The NHS has been set a cost-cutting target to declare 10% of all inpatients "dead". Triage then swiftly redirects these "dead" patients to mortuaries & crematoria, rather than the more costly...

NewBiscuit 12.06.13 7:38am
New Big Browser reports all your activity direct to the relevant spooks

A search engine has launched the world's first software double agent, which pretends to be helping you surf the internet while reporting everything you do to the authorities. The software, Big...

ronseal 12.06.13 6:08am
Rotary clothes line beats Round Table at business fashion awards 0
Dick Everyman 12.06.13 6:06am
Dick Everyman
Chinese refurbishment of Prince Phillip 'poses no security risk'

The contract to refurbish Prince Phillip has been awarded to Chinese telecommunications giant Huwei, it was confirmed yesterday, despite ongoing security concerns about the company's links to the...

SuburbanDad 12.06.13 6:04am
Lens Cap
Gove says new tougher I-level exams will all be set in Latin... 2
deskpilot3 11.06.13 10:54pm
Prince Harry to star in cartoon in Viz Magazine in homage to father figure. 0
Ref Minor 11.06.13 9:26pm
Ref Minor
German Historians Finally Reveal Why Hitler Lost The War.....

Soap box not high enough. SS fedup of giving him a cog up...

Jesse Bigg 11.06.13 9:26pm
Jesse Bigg
Brian Sewell treated for aesthete's foot 4
cinquecento 11.06.13 8:57pm
Roman fans find Christians vs Lions results boringly predictable 2
sydalg 11.06.13 8:55pm
Newcastle United Player Wants To Drop His W......r

Especially on a Sunday...

Jesse Bigg 11.06.13 8:23pm
Jesse Bigg
German plan to gatecrash WWI celebrations with Panzer division 0
sydalg 11.06.13 8:09pm
Yewtree suspect was "out of the country, bombing Dresden" on night in question 0
sydalg 11.06.13 8:06pm
Unexpected item in bagging area. 1
bonjonelson 11.06.13 8:02pm
G4S celebrate capture of Muslim family trying to take samsonite onto 747 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 11.06.13 7:32pm
Def Leppard Unveils 30-Year Hoax

What has nine arms and sucks? Not Def Leppard – at least not anymore. Yesterday, the band revealed on their website that drummer Rick Allen's missing arm was a gimmick. At a press conference...

Matthew Robert 11.06.13 7:32pm
Matthew Robert