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Enraged Tesco staff turn on customers with Value screwdrivers 3
Drylaw 17.12.12 5:03pm
Man takes cold sore to court

A Surrey man has today taken the unprecedented step of suing a cold sore which appeared yesterday on his bottom lip. Peter Williamson, 42, from Wraysbury, confirmed that he took the action as a last...

Shakes McNails 17.12.12 3:33pm
Shakes McNails
Good news for insomniacs - only two sleeps until Christmas

Sadly, not original. I heard it on the radio at the weekend but thought it amusing enough to share here...

Midfield Diamond 17.12.12 3:17pm
Hibernating grizzly bear found in Texas after 3000 mile sleepwalk 0
Idiot 17.12.12 3:06pm
Osborne considers introducing Christmas everyday to boost economic growth

Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, has today announced a possible move to a daily celebration of Christmas to boost the ailing retail sector and help economic growth. First mooted by glam...

Shakes McNails 17.12.12 3:04pm
Shakes McNails
SHOCK REPORT - All Shampoos 'double up' as Satisfactory Body Wash

Despite the separation in 'shampoo' and 'hair and body wash' bottles, it has been revealed that all shampoos can also be used to wash the skin of any human body. Researchers at Abertay University...

Mr Brightside 17.12.12 3:00pm
Coalition agrees to put Nick Clegg in hibernation

The coalition have agreed to store a cardboard box filled with ripped newspaper, food and Nick Clegg in the attic at 10 Downing Street for the winter months. He is due to be released in April pending...

Perks 17.12.12 2:25pm
Motorcycle News goes out of print as porn mag sales dwindle

Motorcycle News, for many years the wrapper of choice for covering up purchases of adult magazines, is set to cease publication early in 2013 on news that sales of top-shelf publications have reached...

Des Custard 17.12.12 2:09pm
Midfield Diamond
Amy Winehouse inquest to be remixed and re-released by Mark Ronson

with bonus material on the second disc...

grottymonty 17.12.12 1:53pm
'Gherkin' Architect says inspiration came from wife's sex-toy

In a remarkably candid interview, world-renowned architect Norman Foster has revealed fascinating insights into the inspiration behind his most iconic buildings. A favourite with Londoners and...

pinxit 17.12.12 1:18pm
Study finds wearing Santa hats really is ‘fun’

An expensive study into the effects of seasonal hattage has revealed that people who wear Santa caps are 58% more likely to be ‘fun-loving’, ‘whacky’ or ‘a bit mad’. Despite the red and...

17.12.12 11:58am
DISAPPOINTING NEWS - Man begrudgingly uses a Mug for coca-cola

After searching high and low for a clean cup in his kitchen, Scotsman Cameron Shaw resigns himself to using a mug to put his coca cola in. "It's just not the same" he reported later., "A mug is...

Mr Brightside 17.12.12 11:34am
Dick Everyman
Fabrice Muamba over the moon at winning Cardiac Arrest Personality of the Year

Muamba was disappointed not to pick up an award at this years BBC Sports Personality of the Year. More soon...

simonjmr 17.12.12 11:09am
USA to make not owning a gun illegal. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 17.12.12 9:43am
Al OPecia
Greeks stamp on 'Mickey Mouse' economy

Dick Everyman 17.12.12 9:21am
Dick Everyman
Morgan Freeman to analyse tragedies full time say Facebook Chiefs

After the runaway success of his take on the Newtown massacre, Morgan Freeman has signed a two-year deal to provide simple, soothing explanations for all of life's troubles announced Facebook...

The Bogs 17.12.12 8:52am
BREAKING NEWS - Man Cant Decide to order Appletiser or Not

For the last 10 minutes local man Robert Gray couldn't decide of he should order Appletiser or not at his uncles 60th birthday meal. "I know it tastes nice" he was reported saying to his sister,...

Mr Brightside 17.12.12 7:43am
'Biscuit of the Year 2012' Winner being kept under wraps

'Biscuit of the Year 2012' Winner being kept under wraps...

Mr Brightside 17.12.12 12:34am
Exclusive: Secrets of the Hobbit/Potter challenge revealed

During an interview today where Martin Freeman was wearily defending the new cash-cow trilogy digging up Bilbo Baggins, the prequels, the new star of The Hobbit made a startling confession. He was...

Squudge 16.12.12 11:24pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Gay marriage 'unnatural' says elderly celibate transvestite 3
Oxbridge 16.12.12 10:46pm
Tess Goes
‘Fair enough’ says HMRC as annual tax payment arrives from Poundland. 3
malgor 16.12.12 10:28pm
Tess Goes
Mayan Holocaust Forecast retranslated as Mayo Expiry Date

[ed: if it suits you, ticker should be 21st Dec]...

Sinnick 16.12.12 10:17pm
House of Lords to be fitted out for peer to peer networking. More soon. 0
Maverick 16.12.12 10:10pm
Worcestershire man’s 'incredible generosity' at nurses’ charity car wash

A Tenbury Wells man who donated more than £2,000 at a charity car wash organised by nurses at Worcestershire Royal Hospital has been given a special award in recognition of his generosity. Mr...

Dick Everyman 16.12.12 10:03pm
Tess Goes
‘Only plumbers want to see your gum floating in piss’ insists scientist

Scientists at Oxford University say they are no nearer developing a urine-soluble chewing gum than when they first started., And with the nation’s gum chewers still unable to grasp the...

Gerontius 16.12.12 9:29pm
Cameron to Bugger Disabled Kids at Parliamentary Christmas Do

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the Houses of Parliament, David Cameron, dressed in red and white in a vain attempt win over the general public once it comes to light that Atos are...

Matthew Newman 16.12.12 8:53pm
Cyclists Not Ignorant, Merely Mute

If you've been walking along a pavement and a cyclist has whizzed past you without a word of warning you may think they are ill-mannered, ignorant or unaware that they are riding an unstable machine....

Sexton A Blake 16.12.12 8:23pm
Sexton A Blake
Newcastle fans defend right to bare arms.

Hmmm I’ll get my coat...

malgor 16.12.12 7:23pm
Fred The Homepride Man Latest Celeb Arrested in Operation Yewtree The police investigation sparked by enquiries into the activities of Jimmy Savile has claimed another victim who was at the height of...

Sexton A Blake 16.12.12 7:19pm
Penis wins top design award...

The penis has won the highest accolade at the annual British Design Awards. Simon Cardwell, president of the Design Council, said “It’s time to recognise the penis as a design classic that’s...

Tripod 16.12.12 7:14pm