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Oxford's research monkeys may soon run the university

Monkeys used for research in Oxford's animal laboratory are getting so brainy they will soon be running the University. 'It's their close contact with so many intelligent people', said one...

0
roybland 29.01.14 11:22am
roybland
Stonewall to Ukip "You're fooling nobody, Butch "

More unnatural fabulousness at 1...

0
blokefromstoke 29.01.14 10:57am
blokefromstoke
Headline

Man wearing new 'All Wool' Onsie admits to feeling a bit sheepish...

0
Njinski 29.01.14 10:52am
Njinski
Rain Storms Cause Homosexual "Marriage".

"It was too cold and wet to go dogging" said Gerald Longstaff "So me and my partner Kevin Fitzgerald decided to stay in and get married instead."...

1
Titus 29.01.14 9:58am
Gerontius
Royal Caribbean Announces Name Change to "Traveling Petri Dish"

Miami, FL - Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines anounced today it will be changing its corporate name to "Traveling Petri Dish" in order to more fully covey to its customers the breadth of experience they...

1
deep trout 29.01.14 6:49am
Wrenfoe
UKIP deny Taxi driver uniforms to be based on Village People 0
Ref Minor 28.01.14 9:45pm
Ref Minor
Would-Be UKIP Candidate Turned Down For Being 'Normal and Sensible'.

"We have our reputatuon to consider" said Nigel Farage, in support of his party's action. "We can't have deviants like him in the party, causing trouble by trying to spread level-headed common sense....

0
Titus 28.01.14 8:34pm
Titus
Parkhurst To Be First Prison Wth More Prison Radio Stations Than Inmates 0
Titus 28.01.14 8:21pm
Titus
People complain about being given "The wrong kind of money"

Nationwide complaints are pouring in from people receiving the wrong kind of money. Everyone on benefits agrees they want money from richer people, preferably at a rate of 50% of what they earn....

1
vulture1 28.01.14 8:16pm
Titus
Welsh DJ Denies Sex With Under-Age Sheep 1
Titus 28.01.14 7:49pm
deep trout
Joe Dolce in comeback with Syrian protest song "Assad-ap-a you face"

Uno, duo, tre, quatro What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect. Hey!, What-a you t'ink you do? Hey!, Why you look-a so sad? Hey!, It's-a not so bad. Hey! It's-a nice-a place., Assad-ap-a you...

4
Vulcanised Rubber 28.01.14 6:06pm
Al OPecia
"Walking Dead" Writers Smoke Crack, Kill Off Entire Cast

Hollywood, CA - Hollywood gossip site "Scuttlebutt" has learned this season of Walking Dead will be it's last as every single cast member dies. Talking to writers of the show on condition of...

0
deep trout 28.01.14 4:48pm
deep trout
Japan Announces Intent to Invade Palau

Taiji, Japan - Looking to capitalize on recent international public relations success over last week's dolphin slaughter in Taiji, Japan announced today its intention to invade and conquer the tiny...

0
deep trout 28.01.14 4:43pm
deep trout
Billionaire Tom Perkins Tweets Response Over Holocaust Comments

San Francisco, CA - Silicon Valley venture capitalist legend Tom Perkins who came under fire for misguided comments comparing the treatment of the rich to holocaust victims responded to critics...

0
deep trout 28.01.14 4:37pm
deep trout
Occupants of BB House outnumber viewers. C5 scrap show and build an extension

More Z list frolics at 1...

1
blokefromstoke 28.01.14 2:42pm
cinquecento
Rich, stupid young man does something expensive and stupid 9
Oxbridge 28.01.14 2:32pm
J Vine
Monk To star In "I'm A Celibate, Get Me Out Of Here". 5
Titus 28.01.14 2:29pm
Wrenfoe
'12. Years A Gove' up for Awards

British movie '12 Years A Gove' has been nominated for a clutch of upcoming awards. The uncompromising film deals with themes of prejudice, bigotry and ruthless exploitation of labour. Some...

5
paulo 28.01.14 1:05pm
blokefromstoke
UKIP sack ‘useless’ members, to save costs of hiring a minibus... 0
Tripod 28.01.14 12:13pm
Tripod
Strong UK growth figures raise spirits of bedroom tax victims

News that the UK economy grew by 1.9% in 2013 has given thousands of bedroom tax victims plenty of cause for celebration. 'I'd crack open a bottle of champagne if I could afford it,' said Lisa...

0
roybland 28.01.14 11:48am
roybland
NSA concludes we REALLY hate pigs

Years of extensive illegal surveillance of our gaming habits has led to the shock revelation that the public ‘don’t just simply dislike’ hog-kind, but they actively ‘loathe’ all swine and...

0
Wrenfoe 28.01.14 10:59am
Wrenfoe
Sheep sex: Public anger grows

As an IT worker from Hendon was dragged into court today, protesting his innocence at the charge of having sex with a sheep, public anger at the growing threat of predatory sheep seems to be on the...

0
beckfordburger 28.01.14 10:42am
beckfordburger
Queen seen applying for part-time job at Ladbrokes

more from One at one...

0
blokefromstoke 28.01.14 9:19am
blokefromstoke
BBC’s Desert Island Discs in illegal colonisation row

Radio 4 bosses have been summoned to the Foreign Office to answer questions following accusations of ‘rampant’ and ‘illegal’ colonisation of desert islands. Pacific island leaders have...

3
Dick Everyman 28.01.14 9:17am
blokefromstoke
Doctor Who actor to wear blue trousers, in other news aliens invade Earth

After the destruction of several major cities and President Obama being replaced by Zorg, Overlord of the dark sector, people have been cheered up with the revelation that Peter Capaldi will be...

2
apepper 28.01.14 9:16am
Titus
Contest to find the World's Greatest Underachiever ends in irony. 0
Ian Searle 28.01.14 8:53am
Ian Searle
Is dredging really the answer to flooding or is it just scraping the bottom? 0
Ian Searle 28.01.14 8:52am
Ian Searle
"Let me be clear..." says the Invisible Man after attending media training. 0
Ian Searle 28.01.14 8:51am
Ian Searle
Queen to Shop at Aldi

In the wake of demands by the Public Accounts Committee to reduce their outgoings, the royal household have taken positive action to curb their spending on food and drink by awarding a Royal Warrant...

0
james_doc 28.01.14 8:27am
james_doc
Austerity update: Google and Wikipedia to replace UK higher education system

Universities teaching non-useful subjects will be downsized and abolished in a move designed to save about £90 billion per year; after A Levels, only science, technical and vocational courses will...

2
farmer giles 28.01.14 7:57am
farmer giles