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No one likes the Gherkin anyway, say insolvency practitioners at fast food lunch 0
Backup Brian 25.04.14 1:18pm
Backup Brian
'I score playing away from home' says Giggs

Lock up your WAGs everyone...

Robert Koch 25.04.14 12:33pm
Midfield Diamond
Giggs sacked as Man United manager, four days and still no win.

The club’s American owner Malcolm Glazer took the extraordinary step of sacking the second manager in a week saying ‘We let the last guy go as the team scored like no touch-downs the whole time...

MADJEZ 25.04.14 12:25pm
Robert Koch
David Moyes 'slept in Man City shirt'

Criminal proceedings are underway today after investigations revealed that David Moyes had been playing for the other side all along. Manchester rivals Man City FC are said to have 'turned' Moyes...

Kevin the Swan 25.04.14 12:18pm
Kevin McLoud remains silent on whereabouts of Malaysian airliner.

MADJEZ 25.04.14 11:49am
Critics rave as Eastenders nails the cycle of life

The BBC has been showered with accolades and rave reviews after the screening of the Eastenders episode handling the Beale bereavement. Torquil Faversham, in charge of gritty plot lines explained,...

Squudge 25.04.14 11:32am
sponge finger
Father Ted's Mrs Doyle joins Eastenders. Producers worried about tea budget.

Oh go on Mrs Cotton will ya not have a cup, just the one, go on.

MADJEZ 25.04.14 11:01am
Miliband to crackdown on zero-hours MPs - Oppo front bench anxious

they just keep popping in there. Sorry folks...

camz 25.04.14 10:54am
Truth and Reconciliation committee already in place in Ukraine

"We know it's early days" said the chairperson " but we plan to be in position, in this five-star hotel, waiting for the call.", She went on, " We've got the international human-rights lawyers,...

vulture1 25.04.14 10:50am
Police to 'lighten up' on violent crime

Following criticism of police tactics in dealing with violent offenders the Police Commission has revealed new guidelines for serving officers. 'The problem started back with the Criminal Justice...

throngsman 25.04.14 9:59am
30 St Mary Axe gets chop from Experian 0
Dick Everyman 25.04.14 9:43am
Dick Everyman
Bad week for toffs as second posh geezer snuffs it

Hooray Henries are well nervous after the second toff in a week goes and snuffs it in a weird way. Officials have so far kept shtum about whether he was Brahms and List as a result of him being 'a...

CulchaVulcha 25.04.14 9:35am
Leading Beliebers criticize Cameron’s claim that UK is a ‘One Direction’ country

Prime Minister David Cameron has sparked a heated debate after claiming that Britain should be “more confident in our status as a country of Directioners”. The PM made the remarks in an...

jackc5755 25.04.14 8:56am
Middle east: Palestine leaders warned that too much Hamas will make you Fatah 14
bonjonelson 25.04.14 7:47am
Vatican in chaos as new saint John-Paul's crucifix kills passer-by

The Vatican is trying to establish whether the collapse of a crucifix in honour of Pope John-Paul is related to him being made a saint. "It's obviously impossible for us to make mistakes, so we're...

apepper 25.04.14 6:53am
Mark Shand death ‘worst case of 1st degree stupidity we've ever seen’ says NYPD 3
beckfordburger 25.04.14 6:47am
Canadian family lashes out in response to TripAdvisor Narnia review

Al Roberts, of Cobalt, Ontario, told a local newspaper today that after reading the Pevensie review of their recent Narnian holiday he ‘simply had to speak out’. Mr Roberts had just returned from...

Conrod 25.04.14 4:33am
Russian state visit to London Cancelled - No Putin on the Ritz. 1
camz 25.04.14 3:24am
British Transport Police granted powers of deodorisation

The British Transport Police (BTP) is to be granted full powers of deodorisation, Chief Constable Andrew Trotter announced today. From May, Transport officers will be equipped with industrial...

AdrianJ 25.04.14 3:19am
Cornishman joins Englishman, Scotsman, Welshman & Irishman walking in to a bar.

I shall await the very first recorded incitement to racial hatred prosecution due to dissing the Cornish...

AdrianJ 24.04.14 10:50pm
Adrian Bamforth
Cornish Pasties get protected species status with Haggis and Leeks 0
camz 24.04.14 10:48pm
West threatens to "tell Russia's Dad on him". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 24.04.14 10:09pm
Al OPecia
Hitler gets postumous History Channel Lifetime Achievement award 0
camz 24.04.14 10:08pm
Cornish ivory price hits new peak

News that the Cornish people are to be a ‘protected’ species has led to a sharp spike in the price of Cornish ivory, raising fears of increased poaching. The Cornishman joins the panda, the white...

deceangli 24.04.14 10:03pm
Adrian Bamforth
CBI suspends its CBeebies membership in retaliation 1
camz 24.04.14 8:53pm
Unemployed loser mocks David Moyes sacking

A Bristol man who dropped out of school at 14, has never had a job or a girlfriend, lives with his parents and can't spell has admitted spending the last couple of days poking fun at the former...

ianslat 24.04.14 8:32pm
Fears for UK numeracy grow as satirical website editors unable to count to ten 4
blacklesbianandproudofit 24.04.14 8:16pm
Man trips over "elephant in the room"

"He never saw it coming" say his friends...

vulture1 24.04.14 8:11pm
The Devil authors new book, "Managing your demons" 0
Dumbnews 24.04.14 8:11pm
God turns down Man U manager role because of 'unrealistic expectations of fans'

Speaking at a packed press conference this evening The Almighty admitted that although he could guarantee that Manchester United would win next season's Premier League, Capital One Cup, FA Cup and...

blacklesbianandproudofit 24.04.14 7:53pm