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Francis Maude to duette with Prodigy at Glastonbury 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

Details of set list to be confirmed...

Police say fire at Francis Maude's garage was just smoke and mirrors 2
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
The Queen to get a new waxing. 0
wallster 3 years
Dolphin friendly tuna invites dolphin to tea 3
nickb 3 years
Strike on hold as fuel drivers receive overtime bonus from Cameron 0
nostra da mouse 3 years
Obama Sin Laden following sexual congress 1
3zincold 3 years

Americans are outraged to hear that their President has allegedly fathered 4 children out of wedlock. The Republican Senate was quick to condemn his extra-marital congress with the youngest wife of...

Francis Maude considers his careers options after call from No 10 2
totnes 3 years

Minister Francis Maude, considers his career options this weekend after many policians declare him the new saviour of carefully measured market intervention. Economists who have long considered the...

MOD: We are using half-filled tanks to give the enemy less of a target 0
weematt 3 years

variant of an earlier one...

“Eat your parents” urges Swift in “demographic bomb” re-write. 0
nickb 3 years

It was a classic satirical view, almost as relevant now as it was nearly three hundred years ago, when “Swiftie09” as he called himself then, posted it on Ye Newsmorsel. Eat your children. Now...

Santorum: If Elected, I Promise to Repeal Last Two Centuries 2
Clavius 3 years

WASHINGTON – Top GOP nominee Rick Santorum announced today that “should I be elected, I will take America back to when it was most pure – the 19th century. Men were men, and women and children...

Rumours of Aretha and Geroge album denied 0
nickb 3 years
Police say body "probably no-one important" 1
jamsieoconnor 3 years

Mystery still shrouds the identity of a female body found on a canal bank in Manchester last week, as police say they have yet to formally identify her or her cause of death. Detective Inspector...

Fury as Cameron tells queuing motorists to eat a pasty! 1
wilkieone 3 years

Cameron yesterday visited queuing motorists outside petrol stations awaiting a delivery of fuel said that they must keep calm and stay nourished, going from car to car offering free pasties., one...

"Set fire to your homes,now."advises Francis Maude, 3
Zen 3 years

as Fire Brigades Union contemplates strike ballot...

Francis Maude not part of smoke free homes campaign spokesman confirms 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Summer type of weather in March, was 'it' says forecasters 0
Claire 3 years

The past weeks 'Record' summer type of weather for March, was reported by forecasters today, as 'it'. When asked what they mean by 'it', a very 'matter of fact' forecaster responded, "we have the...

Escorts to charge VAT for hot sex 0
wallster 3 years
Mystery of travelling pasty! 0
wilkieone 3 years

Cameron's travelling pasty story continues., Cameron stated he ate a pasty at Leeds railway station, this was updated to Liverpool. one eye witness said she saw the pasty headed towards London Kings...

Men convicted in Lennon bomb plot 'didn't know he was already dead'. 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
New panic buying is loo roll! Environmental groups say, "grow dock leaves" 1
Claire 3 years

A rumour that workers in toilet roll factories are threatening strike action, has caused a wide spread case of panic buying of the soft soft soft toilet paper. One super market has confirmed that...

Snow White warned of dwarf shortage 1
rustytruss 3 years
William & Kate to appear on Escape to the Country 0
theumpire 3 years

. More soon...

Soldiers ready to replace any striking workers claims Government 3
Midfield Diamond 3 years

Following the Government’s announcement that Army and RAF service personnel are ready to perform the work of striking tanker drivers if necessary, it has been revealed that their training has also...

Supermarket designs PastyCan 2
GillsImp 3 years

A leading supermarket has designed a container to keep pasties hot. A spokesperson declined to comment when asked if storage of large amounts of pasties was safe...

Heston Blumenthal admits fish in petrol sauce was an accident waiting to happen. 0
godly1966 3 years
Birmingham Garages besieged as motorists mishear radio news about Stili Petrov 0
pinxit 3 years
Harrods reports sudden surge in Hamper purchases. More soon. 5
Al OPecia 3 years
Scotch eggs, fairy cakes and fizzy pop shortages as dyslexics go picnic buying. 2
wallster 3 years
Devon man in care after reading iTunes agreement 4
Boutros 3 years

A man from Devon who claims to have read the iTunes agreement before clicking Accept has been referred for psychiatric tests. Mr Colin Bray, who says he was just a bit bored and quite curious to see...

UK Currency To Become Worthless Once Prince Charles’ Face Is On It 3
UnoEye 3 years

A think-tank investigating the repercussions of the Queen’s demise have made the harrowing realisation that no one would touch money with Prince Charles’ face on. The announcement led to a...