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L85 rifle deemed "unsafe" by health and safety 9
arnied 3 years

The L85 assault rifle has been deemed "unsafe" by health and safety experts at the ministry of defence. An insider was quoted as saying "Someone could get killed with one of these things". Front...

Amstrad unveils Father's Day BoschPS3FootballStatusQuoStella hybrid appliance 0
antharrison 3 years

Lord Alan Sugar has denied that his Amstrad empire has resorted to the lowest depths of male stimuli in launching his Father's Day special gift of the BoschPS3FootballStatusQuoStella hybrid appliance...

Network Rail 'disappointed' at Bob Crow's absence from railway suicides 0
roybland 3 years

Bob Crow, leader of the RMT union, is not one of the 207 railway suicides listed in this year's report by the Rail Safety and Standards Board - and Network Rail has expressed 'disappointment' at his...

New Thugweiser beer makes you feel both intelligent and handy with your fists 1
ronseal 3 years

Thugweiser, the new brand of beer aimed at men who want to be hard and fair, was launched in Soho yesterday. The glittering galaxy of stars in attendance ranged from low brow knuckle dragging ex...

Housewives love Porche's new expensive fridge: "a bit of a fanny fridge magnet" 1
thackaray 3 years
New complementary kitchen cleaner kills 0.01% of bacteria 4
button 3 years
Webber's 'Love never dies' dies. 0
Mr Payne 3 years
People who work for less than minimum wage have learning difficulties says Tory 0
roybland 3 years
New documentary shows party leaders taking their members on coach outings 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

A new fly-on-the-wall documentary shows what happened when the leaders of the 3 main parties took their members on coach outings to the seaside recently. Here are extracts from it., Conservative...

Gove launches 'Primark Academies' initiative 0
roybland 3 years

Education Secretary Michael Gove is to transform failing schools into 'Primark Academies'.,  , Mr Gove told a School Leadership conference in Birmingham that if Britain was to 'compete with China...

Kindle ('slightly foxed') fetches record price 1
roybland 3 years

A first edition Amazon Kindle e-reader ('slightly foxed') has been sold for an undisclosed record price at Sotherby's.,  , 'A first edition Kindle would not normally attract a great deal of...

Greek urns down in value 0
Dick Everyman 3 years
BBC apologises for Primark apology 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

The BBC has issued an apology for its apology to Primark., 'We are sorry for the earlier apology,' they said. 'And we're sorry that Primark and companies like them have their clothes made by slave...

Channel 5 busy acquiring "Gimme Shelter" for Test highlights show 0
simonjmr 3 years
Birmingham City appoint El-Hadji Diouf as manager 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

The stakes have been upped in the Most Unwelcome Managerial Appointment contest today as Birmingham City seek to dislodge bitter rivals Aston Villa from a seemingly unassailable position. Diouf,...

Cameron responds to Argentinian president's criticism - 'She's a woman!' 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

David Cameron today hit back at criticism from Agentinian president Cristina Fernandez of his stand on the Falklands' sovereignty., 'She's a woman!' he said scornfully to gathered pressmen. 'What...

Parents who regularly see their teenage children ‘more likely to get drunk’ 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sri Lanka cricket team in trouble against England as rain continues 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

The Sri Lankan cricket team made several losses this morning on the second day of the rain-affected test match. The current scorecard is: Paranavitana drowned 11, Thirimanne eaten by sharks 10,...

Greek people solve their financial crisis by rioting in the streets 0
John Wiltshire 3 years
Pop will eat itself reunion rumours upgraded to Def Con 1 1
simonjmr 3 years
sweatshop workers celebrate BBC's apology to Primark with extra gruel 1
3 years
Primark accuses BBC of "running Northern sweatshops" for making programmes 0
simonjmr 3 years
BBC to offer fake apology to Primark 0
simonjmr 3 years
Methuselah speaks out against raising the age of retirement to 970 years. 1
Ian Searle 3 years

Warns it could open the flood gates...

View from the Mound - a hot lesbian's take on today's world news (6/16 edition) 7
SugarTits69 3 years

Now that the controversy of whether I'm a man pretending to be a hot lesbian in order to engage with other hot lesbians has been [url=http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26495]well and truly...

Parents claim children should be taught to handle their drink in school 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Pioneering Shoulder Chip removal operation a success 0
button 3 years

A 42 year old from Norwich, known only as “R” has had the chip removed from his shoulder in what doctors say is a medical first. The patient, a 5’ 2’’ male, has suffered from the chip...

Saturday evening TV scheduled by Dignitas 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

It has been revealed that Saturday evening television programmes are being scheduled by Dignitas. This explains the mind-numbing, nausea-inducing, eye-stabbingly awful rubbish being shown on all...

Spode's Top 100 Top 100 Causes Media Storm 8
Simon Spode 3 years

Simon Spode, public intellectual and partial graduate of the University of Warwick, has caused a storm in the media world with the publication of his Top 100 Top 100 list. The definitive Top 100...

Cameron raises age of retirement for public sector - all except Vince Cable 0
Ian Searle 3 years