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Big Decision At Number 10, In Line With Economic Malaise...... 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..Cameron cuts back to one layer of makeup...

Jewelry and watches made from condoms may get around new LA law 0
simonjmr 3 years

Actors making pornographic movies in Los Angeles will be required to wear condoms while filming, under a new law signed by the city mayor. The new civil ordinance is reposnsible for an increase in...

Expect Photochromic Monocles To Be All The Rage In Blackpool This Summer..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.I kid you not...

New evidence suggest Dinosaur extinction caused by Onesie wear 0
simonjmr 3 years

Dr Peter Americano of the Institue for advanced study of fossils has today proposed that the extinction event that wiped out the dinosaurs was the result of a cataclysmic escalation of fashion faux...

Milestone for Facebook as number of members exceeds world’s population 1
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Executives at social networking site Facebook were celebrating today as membership passed the seven billion mark, comfortably exceeding the world’s population. ‘Not only is this a great...

‘I’ve been acting like a complete Simon Cowell,’ cock admits 2
Clarky 3 years

A bantam cock called Bertram has confessed he might have been behaving ‘a bit too much like TV talentless show tycoon Simon Cowell.’ Critics have rounded on Bertram (3), accusing him of strutting...

Millions flock to internet as iTunes has stock clearance 3
kga6 3 years

With barely a week left of January, iTunes has joined the sales, citing having "too much music left" as the primary reason. "The general public aren't as techno-savvy as they like to think", said an...

Angler disappointed with online phishing trip 0
Perks 3 years
Ugly parents may sue Chelmsford Hospital after second set of ugly twins. 23
dvo4fun 3 years

Now the parents of four children, Rob and Jennie Chapman are taking legal advice after the birth of their second pair of twins, widely rated as two of the ugliest ever born locally. In Essex. "Our...

Jon Bon Jovi's new autobiography after conversion to Islam released 3
Nick McCarr 3 years

"Livin' on a Prayer Mat"...

A Mars a day keeps the doctors away: doctors 0
hughesroland 3 years
Oxford English Dictionary's new words for 2012 include ROFL, ;) and (_x_) 0
hughesroland 3 years
Source of hospital infection found in staph room 0
Major Clanger 3 years

More germs of ideas later...

Daily Mail Olympics special: Mens 4 x 400m getting easier 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Literally tens of newsbiscuit writers disappointed not to have won a mini 16
Shandy 3 years

An outcry from Newsbiscuit contributors over their lack of free automobiles has rippled through the satirical community in recent days. People who enjoy frequent toilet breaks at work to check if...

Ed Miliband 'should not get bonus this year', says Ed Miliband. More soon 4
red 3 years
Short-staffed maternity unit 'going through a midwife crisis' 4
Smart Alex 3 years
Attenborough captures rare footage of endangered 3-bird roast 8
3 years

David Attenborough's team of wildlife photographers have finally captured the elusive 3-bird roast on film, after staking out the bins at the back of Aldi. The surprisingly dense member of the hard...

News Biscuit Sub Awarded Accurate Merit-Based Star Rating 15
UnoEye 3 years

Shockwaves have been sent through the online community at the News Biscuit website when a mediocre submission from mildly able contributor “UnoEye” was awarded a star rating appropriate to the...

Chris Huhne to deny speed bump removal using the basic tools of stone masonry 6
Gary Stanton 3 years

Cabinet Minister Chris Huhne is at the centre of a fresh driving storm after allegations that he attempted to remove a series of speed bumps from outside a primary school using a mallet and a chisel....

Trace elements blamed for wave of involuntary homeopathic cures 2
cinquecento 3 years
Bear Grylls endorses range of beef wellingtons 9
3 years

Pint-sized survival fan Bear Grylls has launched a new range of sturdy beef wellingtons. Waterproof, practical and steeped in madeira wine, the gastronomic footwear is a must for explorers who find...

Clowns demand pay rise for appearing in children's nightmares 3
hughesroland 3 years

Clowns across the country yesterday demanded a pay rise of up to 15% to ensure they would 'continue to haunt the sleep of our nation's youths forever'. Up to now, under strict government regulation,...

Sales of big screen TVs slump as people start sitting closer 12
apepper 3 years

Sales of large screen LCD TVs have nosedived as people have realised that the same affect can be obtained by moving the chair closer to the television...

Spoon crime “now worse than knife crime” on Isle of Wight 4
nickb 3 years

Figures released today in Ventnor show that spoon-related crime is soaring in comparison to knife-related crime on Britain’s favourite holiday island. While relatively few are convicted of...

No word on missing Scott naval officer - fears grow 3
roybland 3 years

An audacious attempt to emulate Captain Scott's South Pole achievement of a century ago hangs in the balance today as fears grow for a missing naval officer. 'One hundred years ago Scott, despite...

Future of capitalism in doubt as Jagger pulls out of Davos summit 0
roybland 3 years

The future of capitalism is in doubt today with news that Sir Mick Jagger has declined an invitation to attend a UK event at the World Economic Forum in the mountain Swiss village of Davos. The...

Pope recommends silence - "especially about, you know what..." 1
apepper 3 years

The Pope has chosen World Communication Day to speak about the importance of silence in the face of Internet noise. "Things would be much better if certain people had kept quiet", he explained...

Criticism of Costa Concordia is health and safety gone mad - Daily Mail 1
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Ofcom 'very OK' with new childrens programme Minging Mong Mandy 0
Username 3 years