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Geldof admits "Mondays not so bad after all". More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 3 years
Nick Clegg sings lonely lament in protest against isolationism 2
fernandomando 3 years

Following a bitterly disappointing disengagement by David Cameron from a central role at the EU negotiation table, Nick Clegg has staged a one man protest against the UK’s isolation in Europe....

Police replace 'Stop and Search' with 'Tap and Tickle' 5
Perks 3 years

Following successful trials by Northumbria Police, the rest of the UK’s police forces have agreed to replace their ‘Stop and Search’ policy with the forward thinking ‘Tap and Tickle’. The...

Restless White-Van-Man found to have "settled in Transit". 8
dvo4fun 3 years

more later...

Large Hadron Collider Finds Car Keys 9
Quaz 3 years

It cost some $6.3 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have finally found the car keys. It was some time in the early 1990s when physicist Brian Cox , then a student and pop musician,...

Nick Clegg to start a one man "occupy Brussels" protest. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
David Cameron to release cover version of "I am a Rock, I am an Island". 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Giddy aunt was actually suffering from benign paroxysmal positional vertigo 4
malgor 3 years

Dr Leo Mortimer was left with nothing but a sense of guilt after performing a post-mortem on his own Aunt Ethel’s corpse. ‘She had a long history of feeling faint, falling to her knees and...

Crowds line Bucharest streets to honour repatriated Wooton Bassett flag salesmen 2
reforse 3 years
Xmas disappointment as 'Nick Clegg principles' sold out 3
Perks 3 years
Fanatical muso finally realises X Factor wasn't aimed at him 8
3 years

A fanatical music fan had a moment of clarity this week, when he realised that 'The X Factor' wasn't specifically made for his entertainment. Jeremy 'The Rage' Osthwaite is considered to be 'the...

Clegg's taxi finally arrives at House of Commons after 18 months 3
MT Bucket 3 years

Why is he always looking at the door when Cameron is speaking at the despatch box? It's almost like he doesn't want to be there...

Climate change sceptic Nigel Lawson claims Nigella not as hot as she was 3
medici2471 3 years

hat tip to username...

'Little Mix' has 'One Direction'. More soon. 0
MT Bucket 3 years
BBC admits parts of Doctor Who filmed in Cardiff, not in a TARDIS. More soon. 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Cameron fails to negotiate way of paper bag: SAS called in to attempt rescue. 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Clegg: "I'll scweam and scweam and scweam until I'm sick" 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Lib Dems break world record for lowest recorded temperature in Cabinet meeting 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Clegg not in Parliament because he was "searching for his rattle". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Vladimir Putin crowned surprise winner of Russian X Factor 7
Gary Stanton 3 years

Vladimir Putin walked off with the Russian X Factor title last night with 98.3 percent of the public vote, despite widespread allegations of vote-rigging. The Prime Minister and horse enthusiast...

CIA Drone going for $100,000 on Iranian Blow-Up TV 0
irregular apple 3 years
Napoleon's head removed after threats. 0
irregular apple 3 years

The stuffed head of French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte was today taken down from the wall of a Devon hotel after numerous threats urging its removal. Hotel owner Claire Carter was surprised to learn...

Chelsea decide to put John Terry out to stud. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Sarkozy to judge Britain's Got Parliament 0
irregular apple 3 years

Sources close to the French premier suggest he has agreed a deal with Simon Cowell's SYCO production company to judge 'Britain's Got Parliament' a new Westminster based reality extravaganza. Sarkozy...

Scotland battered 9
beau-jolly 3 years
X-Factor winners to promote self serve kids sweets ... Pick'n'Mix 0
Kramaring 3 years

bags more soon...

Middle Class diners becoming violent as they 'simply insist' on paying 2
Shandy 3 years

Gastro pubs and over priced French eateries all over middle England have reported a disturbing rise of violent incidents as middle class diners insist on paying for everything. "I like to...

Higgs particle found mounted on wall in Swiss Hotel 0
kga6 3 years
EUthanasia 2
medici2471 3 years

- hat tip beau-jolly...

'Where's Nick?' books to launch for xmas 0
irregular apple 3 years

If they sell out the original title should suffice informs cabinet office...