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Relief as Findus announces it "only used rocking-horse parts" in products 0
sydalg 19.02.13 8:22pm
Pistorius trial: tension rises as world awaits Stephen Fry’s opinion.

More soon, and forever after...

sigmund 19.02.13 8:07pm
Protests continue as former Pope's banned book "Prisoner XVI" leaked online

As the candlelit vigil in Saint Peter's Square enters its third night, the Vatican has found itself under mounting pressure to grant the Red Cross access to Benedict XVI - once the Holy See's head of...

GordonChen 19.02.13 7:55pm
sponge finger
Circus glitter accident means every clown has a silver lining 3
Perks 19.02.13 7:52pm
sponge finger
Perceived gay man comes out as straight 0
Dumbnews 19.02.13 7:44pm
Durban burglars target shampoo, shower gel, bog roll and towels to sell on black

market. black market!...

brd888 19.02.13 7:41pm
Pistorius gave head to intruder having 'mistook robber for lover' 1
button 19.02.13 6:22pm
Cameron responds to Mantel Kate criticism

“tell that sad fat ginger bucktoothed cow to fuck off!” he tweeted, abandoning his usual diplomatic PR style for trendy twitter trollspeak. “i say, this trollspeak is jolly liberating, what...

Reg Herring 19.02.13 5:49pm
Reg Herring
Mystery of Rory's shaky putting at start of new season explained

lane-avenger 19.02.13 5:13pm
Investigation begins when local free newspaper found to contain traces of news

Outraged readers of the Melton Mowbray Pie, one of a number of Leicestershire free newspapers have called for a public inquiry to discover why news has appeared in their local free paper. John...

brownpaperreporter 19.02.13 5:10pm
Pope calls for new series of Last of the Summer Wine

In his last speech as the leader of the Roman Catholic Church, the Pontiff, in a departure from his usual themes of the evils of homosexuality, the evils of contraception and the often overlooked...

lane-avenger 19.02.13 4:36pm
Romania gets Jeremy Kyle Show, does U-turn on open borders

More later...

sydalg 19.02.13 4:20pm
DA14 space probe sends back first pictures from planet Earth

The DA14 deep space probe has sent back pictures from the latest planet on its journey through the universe. The spacecraft passed within a few thousand miles of a planet called Earth, which,...

lane-avenger 19.02.13 2:07pm
Lens Cap
Cameron desperately introduces himself as Rahul from Chennai

but Indians still tell him to "just fuck off"...

lane-avenger 19.02.13 1:05pm
Food bank boss urged to return 'bonus' baked beans

'Fat cat' food bank organiser the Rev Brian Smith (86) is being urged to give up a case of Co-op baked beans it's alleged he received as a bonus for his help in running his local food bank. 'It's...

roybland 19.02.13 12:05pm
Human semen found in sheep

The food scandal reached new heights (or should that be depths) today as it emerged 43% of sheep and lamb products sold in supermarkets, butchers and fast food outlets contains large amounts of human...

Reg Herring 19.02.13 11:40am
New iPhone ringtone volume adjusts to your speaking volume

Trying to make a joke of people with annoyingly loud ringtones who answer the phone with an even louder voice.. HELLO!...

Dumbnews 19.02.13 11:29am
IDS says "I told you so" as shelf stacker discovers oil in Asda 1
sydalg 19.02.13 11:23am
IDS - Jihad Seekers Allowance claimants must stack shelves

in the bacon section, or hot-cross buns if they are vegetarian. [url=]see! The Daily Mail...

Squudge 19.02.13 10:43am
FSA proposes brown/yellow colour coding scheme for food packaging...

“The new scheme is both refreshingly simple and brutally honest”, announced Sebastian Wright, a spokesman for the Food Standards Agency. “The 'traffic light' idea - red, amber and green -...

Tripod 19.02.13 7:48am
Retired Politicians to be slaughtered and used in bargain meat products. 1
19.02.13 1:34am
PM's India joke causes storm : "Hello how are you? Your computer is broken." 0
Drylaw 18.02.13 11:19pm
Pixar and AArdman in "Animated" Merger Discussions 0
Iggy Pop-Barker 18.02.13 11:11pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
Teenage Dreams of Midlife Crisis

A damning investigation by the BBC programme Panorama has uncovered a hidden world of back street doctors and unlicensed plastic surgeons offering teenagers a fast track to adulthood. In a growing...

button 18.02.13 10:39pm
J Vine
Meteor was shaped like Savile's rancid cock

Only a semi, fortunately. A full lob would have fucked us...

Truebiscuit 18.02.13 10:38pm
J Vine
BBC News 'not as good as it used to be'

In a sensational outburst Mrs Doris Palmer from Hook, Hampshire has condemned declining standards at the BBC News department. “We used to get lots of interesting stories in the old days,” she...

lane-avenger 18.02.13 10:11pm
Cameron caught eating steak in India, pretends it's horsemeat

Just noticed a lull in horse jokes around here, so...

sydalg 18.02.13 9:48pm
Cameron offers India interest-free credit for starting war with Pakistan

Champion of Britain's struggling arms business David Cameron has announced incentives for India to 'go the extra mile' and start a war with Pakistan., 'They're laughing at you' said Cameron to the...

Truebiscuit 18.02.13 9:36pm
Richard Briers to be mulched and scattered over Surbiton allotments

Fucking brilliant stuff, Truebiscuit. You're on fire...

Truebiscuit 18.02.13 9:21pm
SA Olympic Commitee - Pistorious "actually Scottish". More soon.

Took a while...

Al OPecia 18.02.13 9:09pm
Al OPecia