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Catherine and Pippa agree to "Lez it up a bit" to help ailing newspaper industry 1
antharrison 3 years

HRH the Duchess of Cambridge and her sister Pippa are reported to have responded positively to a suggestion, from Daily Star owner Richard Desmond, to assist the ailing british newspaper industry by...

Cruise Captain 'not wearing glasses' whilst knobbing Moldovan dancer court hears 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

probably need to replace 'whilst knobbing' with 'during fumble'...

Poor Numeracy "Blighting the lives of billions" (or should that be millions?). 1
Al McHogan 3 years

How noughty can you get?...

Vatican's "Bring your daughter to work Day" a dismal failure. 1
Al McHogan 3 years
Julia Gillard to remain squawking harridan in charge of distant colony 14
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Australian prime minister Julia Gillard has won a leadership stoush among Labor MPs in Canberra, cementing her position as a squawking harridan in charge of the distant colony. Ms Gillard clobbered...

Suicide bomber's family: "It's how he'd have wanted to go." 0
hughesroland 3 years
Costa Cruises suspect sabotage by newly formed Starbucks Shipping Co. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Troops express relief as plot to bring James Blunt to Afghanistan is thwarted. 4
Haywood Manley 3 years

British forces in Afghanistan breathed a collective sigh of relief today as details emerged of a failed Taliban plot to deploy singing turd James Blunt against servicemen and women on the front line,...

Thatcher diagnosed with Crone's disease 0
dvo4fun 3 years

more later or "Thatcher diagnosed with old Crone's disease" or perhaps neither...

Chelsea FC: cost and timescale of title-winning side makes it 'unfeasible' 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Head of Forestry Commission given the chop 1
JohnA 3 years

Stop me if you've heard it before...

Scottish independence could cost English salad growers up to £2.30 0
apepper 3 years

If Scotland achieve independence, the English salad growing industry will suffer. "I sold a lettuce to a guy in Stonybridge in 1983 and a case of tomatoes in 2001 - although that was for the audience...

Xmas truce football match ruined by racist chants, say players. 0
Lemon difficult 3 years

​Papers realised today by the National Records Office detail how players the 1914 Christmas truce football match expressed their bitter disappointment in the watching fans chanting racist abuse at...

Ed Miliband found on Mars breathing sulphur through an orange 8
3 years

Political pundits have rounded on Ed Miliband for being 'out of touch', 'aloof' and 'clearly not of this Earth'. The criticism comes after a NASA probe spotted him standing in a crater on the red...

Feminists Up In Arms About Up In Arms Comment. 7
freemycatfish 3 years

Feminists around the country were said today to be furious that allegations have been made by the Men's Movement that becoming a feminist could lead to females so hating men, that they would be...

'Freak of nature' horse with cunt half-way up it's back... 5
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

belongs to Rebecka Brooks, scientists reveal...

Study finds animals still being discriminated against in the workplace 4
3 years

A study undertaken by the Department for Work and Pensions has found that a disproportionate number of animals in the UK are still being confined to the most menial of jobs, and are repeatedly passed...

National Galleries Buy Tits’n’Ass Picture for £45 million 9
Quaz 3 years The Titian painting “Diana and Callisto” has been sold to the National Gallery and the National Galleries of...

'Morrissey belongs to Argentina’ say music lovers. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
Costa Allegra renamed Costa Labour after losing power and drifting aimlessly 2
Midfield Diamond 3 years
Windows 8 my concentration span.... OMG! Look at this! LOL! 8
ronseal 3 years

One of the new unreported features of Windows 8 is a Twitter busting feature that promises to be ten times more distracting than anything else on the LOL! OMG! sorry, market. Disruptive technology,...

Man who understands new web privacy settings still in toilet. 1
nickb 3 years

A new plug in will allow web users to track advertisers who have left cookies on computers of people advertising anti-privacy software that tracks the buying habits of people who shop online but have...

NASA computer hackers just playing 'space station invaders' 0
Perks 3 years
Cameron "taken for a ride" by News International 0
Drylaw 3 years
Army thank Taliban over cancellation of James Blunt gig. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Zero carbon charcoal fails to make its mark. 1
Ian Searle 3 years
David Cameron warns Syria 'day of reckoning just a sentence or two away' 0
roybland 3 years

David Cameron has warned Syria's President Bashar Assad that he is close to constructing an English sentence or two that will destroy his regime. 'President Assad should know that his day of...

Mona Lisa probably the first augmented reality painting. 1
Boutros 3 years

Art-lover Harold Jarrold from Norfolk had a shock on his recent visit to The Louvre when he took a picture of the Mona Lisa on his iPhone. "I thought I was just taking a photo for my collection but...

Cyclist Stops at Red Traffic Lights 3
mmjjll 3 years

On Friday 17th February, a cyclist was seen to stop at the red traffic lights on Southwark Bridge Road, South London. This occurred around 8am in the morning rush hour. Not only that, but the cyclist...

Swedish man trapped in car for 2 months to launch "Snow Diet Plan" 3
ianrbland 3 years

Following his well documented ordeal in northern Sweden, Bjorn Ericsson's friends noted that he had lost a significant amount of weight and asked his secret. "Eating nothing but snow for 2 months...