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Lagarde and Carstens rule themselves out of Birmingham City managerial vacancy 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Ornithologist who angered Sinatra fans: "Egrets? I've had a few" 9
FraserWords 3 years

Keen ornithologist Stephen Gasket was last night thrown out of the Frank Sinatra Appreciation Society after ‘Songs for Swingin’ Plovers’ was declared one pun too many., A clearly upset Gasket...

Al Murray Delighted With Win At Queens. 12
The All New Jeni B 3 years
Prince Philip's cure for NHS crisis: “Stop bloody whining and get on with it” 1
FraserWords 3 years

In a dramatic new U-turn on NHS policy, the Government last night placed the Duke of Edinburgh in charge of sweeping reforms. He acted immediately by telling patients: “Stop bloody whining and get...

Protests as man dies in front of TV cameras: Graham Norton, BBC1, 11.35pm 1
FraserWords 3 years
Finger Leaking Good 7
finneyp 3 years

Chaos and scandal have once again reared their ugly heads in the world of fried chicken, after it was announced that Julian Assange was on the verge of leaking the famously secret KFC Original Recipe...

Journalism, business & politics in chaos as computer virus disables all clichés. 0
be reasonable 3 years

M%!^ s**£...

Spell checker blamed for first 'Boho' soup kitchen 5
3 years

NY - A clerical error has been blamed for the first 'Boho' soup kitchen. The charitable canteen, located in East Harlem, has already attracted waifs, strays and street artists, keen to 'take in the...

Dam Busters dog renamed 'Cuntface' for movie remake - 2 31
rickwestwell 3 years

Stephen Fry, who is writing the screenplay for the remake of the classic Dam Busters movie, has announced that to avoid controversy, the name of the squadron's dog will be changed from the 'N-word'...

Best Oxymoron Of The Year By A Mile...... 3
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..voted Number One by the International Writers Association, was the phrase, "Concerned Tory." Cor blimey, who would have guessed it?...

'You can't sail the Ark Royal down Pall Mall on the Queen's Birthday' 2
Ironduke 3 years

A leaked commentary on last year's defence review has revealed the moment of crystal clarity that led to the main burden of defence cuts falling on the Royal Navy. With a firm eye on the images of...

Southern Cross in talks with Wetherspoons landlords 1
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

Southern Cross, the bankrupt care home provider, confirmed it was close to finalising a deal that could see many of its 30,000 residents looked after 'in the best possible way for the remainder of...

Royal fly-past commitments curtail Arab war distractions for the RAF 0
Ironduke 3 years
Male sympathiser goes all the way on slutwalk. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Liberal guy in Downing Street unveiled as a hoax 1
simonjmr 3 years
Dignitas to treble intake if suicidal Islamic fundamentalists 0
4ty2 3 years

after Terry Pratchet reveals that Dignitas provides 2 escorts to the customer. Due to popular demand they were unable to provide 72 escorts but requests for younger escorts are currently considered....

Facebook usage drops in UK & US as users begin to hit puberty. 0
be reasonable 3 years
Health Bill in Intensive Care 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Frankenstein says this 'monster' not his...

Devil's advocate resigns, unable to cope with internet forum workload 5
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Blair eyes 0
waggy 3 years

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair says he reads the Koran and the bible on a daily basis, If I was married to Cherie Blair I would say a pray most days...

Britain to end foreign aid: tourists urged to speak English quickly and softly 5
3 years

Still in the grip of recession, the British Government is to open debate on the sticky subject of foreign aid. Over £10bn a year is spent overseas, mostly in France, Spain and the delightful coastal...

Bin Laden hideout village in shock over Blackburn twinning 0
roybland 3 years

The town where Osama Bin Laden hid for a number of years has expressed 'shock and horror' at its discovery that it was twinned with Blackburn in Lancashire. Villagers in Abbottabad in Pakistan claim...

Abi Titmuss traced to small village in county Durham. 0
charlies_hat 3 years

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-13752688...

"Massive bombshell" as Hiroshima and Nagasaki withdraw Olympic 2020 bid 2
JohnA 3 years

"The fallout will be huge" [url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/olympics/13746363.stm], http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/olympics/13746363.stm[/url]...

Bond "furious" at Q-branch PFI plans 0
Smaug 3 years
Andy Murray apologises for his failure to not win Wimbledon warm-up event 10
Qoxiivi 3 years
Japan to enter Mothra in Olympic 200m butterfly event 0
Qoxiivi 3 years

More soon plus hat-tip to JohnA for getting me thinking about Japan and the Olympics...

Duchess of Cambridge in frock sensation 1
roybland 3 years

Just weeks after the Royal Wedding, the Duchess of Cambridge has been seen in public wearing a frock.,  , 'I was standing outside Buckingham Palace,' said royals watcher Amanda Bates,'when I saw...

Rapture date still ‘okshober chwenty frwirst’ says Harold Camping, after stroke 8
Qoxiivi 3 years
Simon Cowell announces new shows: Britain's Best Baiter and Mock The Afflicted 6
John Wiltshire 3 years

Simon Cowell today announced 2 new shows to cater for the rapidly-descending taste of Britain's TV audience. 'These shows will be huge,' said Cowell, tight-lipped as always due to the botox. 'In...