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Cloakroom attendant follows up bad joke with another: "I'll get your coat" 0
kga6 3 years
Abramovich to Take Over at Chelsea 1
Iggy Pop-Barker 3 years

In a shock move Roman Abramovich, Chelsea’s billionaire owner, has appointed himself manager. He said: “I know what I am looking for in a manager: a proven winner, an astute tactician, and above...

Gay man disappointed by pub's open mike night 0
medici2471 3 years
George Zimmerman really said that due to a bad cold he was "sucking Tune" 0
Iscariot 3 years

works better as an excuse than "fucking goon" which is allegedly a term of affection according to his friend. Floridans are now known for expressions of affection before they shoot you. Have a nice...

Harry turns down another big top job 0
GillsImp 3 years

Harry Redknapp has turned down another job offer. He refuses to be part of a circus...

Mali Tuareg separatist rebels declare "The Sun Has Got His Hat On" 0
Iscariot 3 years
Lapsang Souchong wins landmark by-election seat for the tea party. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Suu Kyi wins seat but told she'll have to pay the post & packing. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

'Oh did she think she was running for office' says government official (smirking). More electoral irregularities soon...

Renowned Country and Western Singer rumoured to top the charts this weekend 0
GillsImp 3 years

Pasty Cline...

Horse finally finds hay on Isle of Wight 1
GillsImp 3 years

It's owner commented that it was like looking for needles in a haystack...

Website use to be monit..hold on..who's kicked my front door in........ 2
Al OPecia 3 years
Footballers to be given "hazardous work" bonus..More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
police still have no clue in mysterious drug addict barn death... 5
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

When quizzed by local media on why the investigation team still hadn't found any evidence the chief forensic officer replied 'it's like looking for a needle in a haystack'...

George Galloway Tweets, "Shattered but happy after by-election victory in Burma" 0
HenroPlod 3 years
Scientist discovers ‘being a dog’ is key to reducing stress 6
3 years

An expert in making people worry about dying believes they’ve found a new weapon to combat one of Britain’s most popular killers. By concentrating a bit harder on becoming a member of the canine...

Investment firm got Game 0
virtuallywill 3 years

more later...

Tories admit to spread betting on opinion polls to raise party funds. 0
Ian 3 years

Following an investigation by The Telegraph, Eric Pickles has admitted that the Conservative party has been spread betting on the state of the parties in the opinion polls to raise party funds....

Pete Tong tells journalists: "It's all going really well, actually" 0
Nails UK 3 years
Shark attack victim "enriched lives of family and friends". And shark. 0
Nails UK 3 years
Muamba baffles female nurses by successfully explaining offside rule 0
Underconstruction 3 years

I'll get my coat...

Government to appoint Storage Tzar 2
Underconstruction 3 years

David Cameron has announced that the government is to 'take stock' of recent criticisms and appoint a senior official to oversee all national storage-related issues. The role will address 'the safe...

Journalist fury at government "April Fools" 0
apepper 3 years

Journalists have reacted with anger at the government's April Fool jokes over the last few days. "We expect government statements at least to have a basis in reality, but now they're taking the...

MPs fail to ease sperm shortage. 0
alanthetortoise 3 years

Since progeny of donated sperm have been able to trace their fathers, donations have dried up. MPs decided to address the shortage by donating in a special mastabatorium in Westminster. The husband...

Police demand more relaxation time... 4
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

A spokesperson reclined to comment...

PM refused to be drawn on stalking artist claim 2
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years
George Galloway "Abu Qatada is misunerstood! and wants to be a scout leader" ! 1
wilkieone 3 years
What is the point of 'The Midlands'? 1
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

So annoying when you are trying to get from Manchester to London or vice versa? Can't we move it closer to Norfolk so that we have all the really boring places in one spot?...

Marylebone take down statue of it's most famous son.. 0
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

Norman Wisdom after it fell over for the 5th time...

I have never understood why they test cosmetics 2
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

and perfumes on rabbits as they can't afford to buy it no matter how good they smell or look after...

Arab Spring most likely caused by ‘accident with a jerry can’ , claim experts 4
Gary Stanton 3 years

The popular uprisings that swept the Arab world in the spring of 2011 were most likely the result of Mohamed Bouazizi’s amateurish efforts to decant petrol from a jerry can in the kitchen of his...