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Ebola bookies favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

The odds of a non-UK resident winning Series 8 of the ever popular talent show has dramatically shortened, with the late entry of an outbreak of virulent hemorrhagic fever from Guinea. Seen as...

3
Wrenfoe 01.04.14 10:07pm
Paddy Berzinski
Newsbiscuit switches to being genuine news site for April Fools Day

Maybe next year ;-)...

0
Schoolboy 01.04.14 10:03pm
Schoolboy
Profoundly deaf lady cries as she hears Nick Griffin for the first time

Wouldn't you? More Soon...

0
Schoolboy 01.04.14 9:59pm
Schoolboy
"Nuts" magazine to close and be replaced by female version: "Flaps" 4
Schoolboy 01.04.14 9:42pm
Schoolboy
Cosmology breakthrough: This world is actually some guy's oyster 0
Schoolboy 01.04.14 9:42pm
Schoolboy
Vince Cable is a 1st class minister, says Cameron: worth 53p 0
Schoolboy 01.04.14 9:39pm
Schoolboy
Risk of death remains 100% irrespective of fruit and veg consumption 3
irreverendJ 01.04.14 9:33pm
throngsman
Max Clifford denies teaching grandma how to suck eggs; "they weren't eggs" 0
Schoolboy 01.04.14 9:27pm
Schoolboy
New 'Catholic Taste' book features history of Papal strudel preference.

An encyclopaedic reference work outlining a thousand years of catholic taste reveals a huge amount of data about Catholicism and it's aesthetic choices. Pope Boniface the thirteenth, for example,...

0
nickb 01.04.14 8:32pm
nickb
Katie Hopkins and Piers Morgan to conceive "Most Irritating Person Ever"

Image added for extra irritation...

0
camz 01.04.14 8:04pm
camz
Mermaid looking forward to fish supper waiting with baited breasts 2
Smart Alex 01.04.14 7:18pm
Squudge
Cats confess they thought TB was Tweety Bird

Senior cat spokesman, Sylvester J. Pussycat, has admitted that he heard there was a chance of catching TB, he thought it was a reference to his arch rival, Tweety Bird. Tweety Bird, who is in a long...

0
apepper 01.04.14 7:14pm
apepper
Pensioner mugged at Post Office 3
deceangli 01.04.14 7:00pm
Not Amused
England's pupils 'good problem solvers' thanks to Jeremy Kyle. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 01.04.14 6:46pm
dominic_mcg
Going up stairs not to count as 2 of your 7 a day Cockneys told 0
bookiesfriend 01.04.14 5:34pm
bookiesfriend
Ladybird Books 'too difficult' for ladybirds, say ladybirds.

Ladybirds have complained that Ladybird Books are written in such a way that they are beyond the grasp of most ladybirds. 'Most Coccinellidae, to give us our proper name, have very low reading...

4
nickb 01.04.14 5:20pm
MADJEZ
Complete Da Vinci cartoon found

Previously only individual frames from Leonardo Da Vinci's cartoons have been found. Now Italian historians and animators have been able to reconstruct a complete cartoon [quote]short[/quote] by the...

5
Kit 01.04.14 4:43pm
Dick Everyman
£10 note for sale. £5 o.n.o. Contact Vince Cable, Westminster 7
Andy Gilder 01.04.14 4:30pm
Andy Gilder
Benefits claimants consider to 'strike' with day of work

but not if it affects their claim...

0
camz 01.04.14 4:06pm
camz
This site is rubbish. - 23

Some beauties never get selected. Goodbye...

74
teleport 01.04.14 3:11pm
CulchaVulcha
Man asks for some tissues after hearing news that Nuts magazine is to close 1
Mark66 01.04.14 3:07pm
nickb
Universities “not dumbing down” says Professor of Vajazzle Studies 4
deceangli 01.04.14 3:05pm
deceangli
BTs Rural Broadband Monopoly 'crushed' by Isle of Wight

Despite being handed all of the rural broadband contracts in a £1.2 billion deal the government announced today that it had been thwarted by 'those cunning folk' on the isle of Wight. 'They've got...

0
throngsman 01.04.14 2:28pm
throngsman
Vince Cable sells his Rolls Royce to webuyanycar.com for £10

The Business Secretary, Vince Cable, today declared that he had got 'a very good deal' by selling his Rolls Royce for £10. 'I saw the advert on the telly,' he explained, 'you know, the one with...

1
John Wiltshire 01.04.14 2:15pm
throngsman
3 lottery prizes in a month and 'we've won other lotteries we never entered'

A husband and wife from Portsmouth, Virginia are over the moon at not only winning the state lottery three times in a month but also 'being offered the chance to help move money from Burkina Faso as...

0
throngsman 01.04.14 2:10pm
throngsman
Japan to revert from hunting whales to hunting humans

In a move that has been welcomed by water-based mammals but less so by land-based Chinese, Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has confirmed that Japan will move its focus from the persecution of whales to a...

0
Wrenfoe 01.04.14 1:54pm
Wrenfoe
For the avoidance of Nick Griffin

Nick Griffin, the lovable, pug faced, neo Nazi leader of the BNP has tweeted details of how to avoid him without doubt. 'I try to avoid myself most days,' he tweeted, 'and you can too by not...

0
throngsman 01.04.14 1:52pm
throngsman
Martin/Paltrow split accidentally implicates Marti Pellow 0
Adrian Bamforth 01.04.14 1:43pm
Adrian Bamforth
Mis-selling scandal engulfs food bank

Toxteth Food Bank is to be investigated by the Food Standards Agency in the first case of its kind after allegations of mis-selling from a customer. Barry Rogers, a long standing food bank user who...

0
custard cream 01.04.14 1:34pm
custard cream
Putin attempts to impregnate Crimea

Despite promises to ‘pull out’ at the right moment, NATO observers have concluded that the Russian President has no intention of ‘interrupting’ his military coitus. Having entered the...

4
Wrenfoe 01.04.14 1:30pm
Squudge