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Deep fried bamboo shoots banned from Scottish zoos. 0
ght 3 years
Dignitas launch new reality TV travel show: Come Die With Me. 1
nickb 3 years
NHS Haggis Shortage Shuts Scottish Burns Unit 0
Mathna 3 years
Newt Gingrich’s Head To Apply For Statehood 0
Hooch 3 years

Following the the Republican candidates declaration that once 13,000 Americans live on the Moon they can attempt to become a state the colony that resides on his head believe they should too., The...

Robber demands, "Give me all the money or Ill write a negative review on Yelp" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Czech sex predator allowed into UK says thanks. 3
Marko 3 years

Kajus Scuka, 48, who carried out a string of sex attacks after coming to Britain and claiming benefits, thanked UK immigration officials for letting him in as things had recently dried up back home,...

CERN announce 'possible black hole' if Prof. Brian Cox's head implodes 5
Perks 3 years

Scientists at CERN have revealed that fears of them creating a black hole where not totally unfounded however it would not be as a result of the Large Hadron Collider. The creation of the black hole...

Supermarket mayhem 2
Marko 3 years

There was carnage yesterday when short sighted pensioner Ethel Greenwood, 78, took a wrong turn with her shopping trolley, knocking down a carefully displayed stack of beans and a 'buy one get one...

Sheep in Wolves clothing is actually a Villa fan 0
Marko 3 years
Banks Boss Blasts Bullsh@tters 3
Marko 3 years

RBS boss, Stephen Hester, is speaking to lawyers, claiming defamation of character, as his payout was not £1 million as widely reported, but actually the modest sum of £963,000...

Keen marksman Anton Ferdinand receives bullet in post from caring fan. 2
MADJEZ 3 years

'They even carved my name in it, such a personal gift' said the appreciative footballer. More soon...

Scotland Drops Bid To Leave UK After Application To Join Brunei Denied 0
Textbook 3 years
Shopping Trolley Shocker for pensioner 1
Marko 3 years

Birmingham pensioner Ethel Greenwood, 78, was shocked to receive a notification of 3 points and a £60 fine when her shopping trolley was clocked at 36mph in a 30 zone., Ethel had been taking her...

RBS launch 'Fred Goodwin charity card' 3
Perks 3 years

On the day HBOS decided to pull their charity card saying it is not a cost effective of giving to charity, RBS have announced they are to start their own charity credit card. The 'Fred Goodwin...

Procul Harem deny calling for sharia law in Nigeria. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

We just called for another drink...

Celebrity Food critic found safe and well 1
Marko 3 years

Police have confirmed that pudding and pies connoisseur Jack Horner, missing for 24 hours, has been found safe and well, sat in a different corner., Horner, 4, is believed to have been having...

Pippa Epedemic Predicted 5
LizzyG 3 years

Experts are predicting a sudden upsurge in parents naming their newborn daughters Pippa following last year’s royal wedding. In what is commonly known as the 'Kylie Effect', parents are expected...

Man wins a monkey at William Hill 'bet and pet' night 2
kga6 3 years

In a daring bid to get children gambling from an earlier age, William Hill has begun trial evenings termed 'bet and pet' nights. Parents who have no one to watch their child while they gamble, forgot...

F1 boss 'catalyst' for human genome research 2
Perks 3 years

Today the International Human Genome Sequencing Consortium has made the startling revelation that the only reason it started to look at and map the human genome was because of a chance meeting...

Somali pirates blame 'Health and Safety gone mad' for downturn. 11
bonjonelson 3 years

Pirates operating off the coast of Somalia have blamed "Overregulation" and an over-zealous attitutde to enforcement of Health and Safety rules for their recent lack of success in major piracy...

Apple launches iVinyl Store in bid to end Vinyl sharing 1
roybland 3 years

Apple's launch of its long-awaited iVinyl Store has been welcomed by the music industry as a solution to the problem of Vinyl sharing. 'It's a great day for us,' said a spokesman for Sony...

Brian Cox to present "Wonders of the Olympics" 1
Sinnick 3 years
Agility dog catches thief on obstacle course. 0
Al OPecia 3 years

Persistent small time thief, Ronnie Allsop, has been detained and charged after trying to outwit an agility trained dog when snatching his owners purse. "i thought I could get away with it" said...

Murderers of man found shot, beheaded and set on fire accused of overkill. 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
"That's nearly as much as I got for an episode of HIGNFY" 0
yussle 3 years

Says an outraged Boris...

Celebrity food critic goes missing. 0
Marko 3 years

Police are concerned at the whereabouts of pie and pudding connossieur Jack Horner, who was last seen sat in a corner...

Red Hot Chili's 0
Marko 3 years

Peter Piper at large again as a peck of pickled peppers goes missing...

Controversial 'musical Austrian cellar' theme for Olympic ceremony 0
hughesroland 3 years
Cameron puts Clegg in charge of sorting chocolate oranges 0
cinquecento 3 years
RBS Chief has contract clause that allows bonus to be paid in Children's Teeth 5
SimonJJames 3 years

Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) boss Stephen Hester is to receive a bonus of almost one million children's teeth. RBS announced on Thursday that Mr Hester is to get 963,000 children's teeth, the money...