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Putin overheard boasting: "The .5% was just a little touch of mine". 0
Adrian Bamforth 16.03.14 9:15pm
Adrian Bamforth
Tissue manufacturer launches high fibre weight-loss programme - napkins diet 0
throngsman 16.03.14 8:46pm
St Patrick's myth debunked as politicians found in Ireland. 1
Ironduke 16.03.14 8:45pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Chinese government refuses to join 'war on terror'

On grounds of pronunciation...

throngsman 16.03.14 8:38pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Flight MH370 gets a visit from Jehovah's Witness. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.03.14 8:24pm
Russia Vetoes UK Eurovision entry

To overwhelming support from UK...

throngsman 16.03.14 8:11pm
Paris Extends Smog Restrictions - DoT to adopt approach to tackle 'Twats'

Following the partial success of only allowing odd numbered plates in Paris on one day, even numbered the next, Paris officials are extending the anti-smog tactics to include smoking. 'If we only...

throngsman 16.03.14 8:09pm
Vince Cable says the case for HS2 is overwhelming

.. if only he knew what it was...

Starchy 16.03.14 7:50pm
NSA infected millions of computers with malware in project MICROSOFTWINDOWS

In another shocking release from the NSA documents that Ed Snowden is publishing, plans to infect millions of computers with malware surfaced. In the presentations, an NSA project,"MICROSOFTWINDOWS,...

steve_l 16.03.14 7:49pm
Crimeans back not being blown up by Russian tanks

More to follow...

apepper 16.03.14 6:53pm
Crimeans vote overwhelmingly for independence from Scotland.

Don't we all?...

Ironduke 16.03.14 6:14pm
Nation commemorates first anniversary of horse meat jokes

The nation has held its first Horse Meat Lasagne Remembrance Day to commemorate a year since the end of the British horse meat scandal. It was a period in which the whole nation pulled together,...

Adrian Bamforth 16.03.14 6:08pm
Adrian Bamforth
Man successfully resists correcting aspect ratio on parents' TV during visit 0
Schoolboy 16.03.14 5:41pm
Report: Unspeakable crimes under-reported in media 0
Schoolboy 16.03.14 5:38pm
World Problems solved after cyanide gas pumped into The Big Questions Studio 0
Bigglesworth 16.03.14 4:38pm
Russia hails Crimea referendum a success, thanks Kim Jong Un for organising. 0
MADJEZ 16.03.14 4:18pm
Middlesborough police regret using dogs in search for lost penis 3
Squudge 16.03.14 3:30pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Man who lost penis appeals to Justin Bieber to donate head

The Middlesbrough man who was found on the A66 with his penis cut off has appealed to Justin Bieber to donate his head...

apepper 16.03.14 3:28pm
Politically correct lobby rename restaurant chain Thank GOSH It's Fridays.

and it's OH MY GOD (not gosh) while you're at it !!...

MADJEZ 16.03.14 3:25pm
Smegrapol Mayor Admits ‘We do not Count the Votes Anyway’

Mayor Buttkysr said today that it would be a waste of time counting the votes since there is no real choice, he added that it saved a lot of time just weighing the boxes and multiplying by 832 to...

Guillermo De Snookio 16.03.14 3:23pm
Guillermo De Snookio
UK to share pound with Independent Scotland. Who gets heads or Tails TBA. 0
Bigglesworth 16.03.14 2:52pm
Notorious smoker dies, the nation mourns

Everyone is now in agreement that smoking a smelly old pipe all his life did him no harm and despite what was said at the time there was no "passive" damage done to people he met. Known as a bit of a...

vulture1 16.03.14 1:33pm
Missing passengers "may not survive without updating Facebook pages" say experts 0
sydalg 16.03.14 12:51pm
Dangerous levels of Putin reported in Crimea - only cars with RU plates allowed 0
bonjonelson 16.03.14 12:34pm
Eastenders "not racist", claims BBC

The BBC has reacted angrily to claims its flagship soap "Eastenders" doesn't have enough positive story lines for ethnic minority characters. A spokesperson pointed out, "In recent weeks, we've had...

Andy Gilder 16.03.14 11:36am
Andy Gilder
Malaysian pilot is strong contender for 2014 Hide and Seek championships 0
bonjonelson 16.03.14 11:35am
Missing airliner latest - man with tinfoil hat says "I told you so". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 16.03.14 11:19am
Al OPecia
“News of the Otherworld” admits God hacking. Releases transcript of Benn chat.

Telepathic communications between God and his most trusted advisors have been hacked and published by the “News of the Otherworld”., The discussion concerned planning for Tony Benn’s arrival...

Not Amused 16.03.14 11:17am
Al OPecia
McDonald's Validates The Pickles Diet 0
throngsman 16.03.14 10:39am
Osborne's hairline to go back into recession in 2nd quarter of 2015 predicts OBR 0
bookiesfriend 16.03.14 10:20am