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Rape reclassified as: Consenual sex with a man richer and more famous than you.

More cases to follow...

2
MADJEZ 31.01.14 10:10am
Wrenfoe
Neanderthals gave us football supporting genes, researchers find

More soon, more soon, more soon, more soon. . The referee's a banker...

2
Not Amused 31.01.14 9:57am
cinquecento
Speculation that football’s January transfer window is about to end

According to a normally reliable source (a calendar), football’s January transfer window is tipped to finish on 31 January at midnight. The rumour has gained credence as the calendar has in recent...

0
Yikes 31.01.14 9:37am
Yikes
Aberystwyth Students: stay out all night -but wear waterproof togas

As part of the preparations for the predicted storm Aberystwyth University today advised all students living near the sea front to stay out all night -and issued each one a six pack of tesco...

0
steve_l 31.01.14 9:19am
steve_l
Alcoholism blamed for shortened Russian life expectancy...

More soon from the University of Obvious...

0
Bigglesworth 31.01.14 8:50am
Bigglesworth
Kim Jong-Un to be first North Korean on Moon 2
farmer giles 31.01.14 8:45am
farmer giles
Worlds largest hangover as 1.4 billion get hammered on Chinese New Year's Eve. 0
MADJEZ 31.01.14 1:19am
MADJEZ
617 Squadron recalled to release the deluge.

Famous RAF 617 Squadron the “Dambusters” have been recalled from Afghanistan to assist with the emergency in Somerset. Originally scheduled to be disbanded this week, a last minute reprieve for...

1
rogerg 31.01.14 1:07am
Bigglesworth
Cobra meeting blames Lazy cows for wettest January on record.

The 15th meeting of Cobra, the governments emergency response committee, has concluded that the recent spate of heavy rainfall was due to the sheer number of cows sitting down in fields across the...

0
carlosmanwelly 30.01.14 11:54pm
carlosmanwelly
Black and White film star was cross dresser. No, Riley. 0
Al OPecia 30.01.14 11:09pm
Al OPecia
Eric Pickles sent to West Country to provide floating island refuge. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 30.01.14 11:06pm
Al OPecia
Knox falls foul of Italian "Okey-Cokey" Legislation. more soon. 0
Al OPecia 30.01.14 11:05pm
Al OPecia
Quare via transire pullum 6
Lens Cap 30.01.14 10:56pm
red
Government to sell Big Ben to Gay Rights Group Stonewall

More follows....

0
Njinski 30.01.14 10:26pm
Njinski
Empty fracking wells to be filled with flood water

"But first they need to be emptied of gas" said a grinning Tory minister...

0
Bigglesworth 30.01.14 10:04pm
Bigglesworth
Toronto Mayor Defends Bieber... No Really 0
Bigglesworth 30.01.14 10:00pm
Bigglesworth
Government blocks Government Reports

The Coalition Government today used anti-terror laws to block publication of a Treasury report which raises concerns over HS2. Spokesperson says tomorrow the same laws will be used to ban upcoming...

0
Starchy 30.01.14 9:22pm
Starchy
Farage applauds successful policy towards Neanderthal immigration

More to follow...

0
apepper 30.01.14 8:49pm
apepper
K-Tel recruited to aid with dredging operation

Somerset Council has called on K-Tel to assist with dredging up long forgotten rubbish from their rivers. "They've been a real boon; we were concerned that our dirty barrels would pollute the...

0
apepper 30.01.14 8:47pm
apepper
Twitter Closed Down After Drug's Bust

After a dramatic dawn raid, Twitter have had their Head office closed down after Police discovered millions of discarded 'Hash' tags littered around their offices. Detective Inspector Luke Skywalker...

0
Njinski 30.01.14 8:44pm
Njinski
New Scottish currency to be 'git coins' 0
Squudge 30.01.14 7:51pm
Squudge
Ultra-euthanasia group demands right to end life after death 2
roybland 30.01.14 7:49pm
Underconstruction
Dignitas Disappointed By Lack Of Positiive Reviews 0
Titus 30.01.14 7:38pm
Titus
Wettest 2014 January Ever

Also wettest month this year...

2
Titus 30.01.14 7:32pm
Titus
Vicar ‘fingered my plums’ at harvest festival claims choirboy

“He took some home and made a few jars of excellently-tasty jam with them, which he shared with the whole community, and everyone in the village lived happily ever after. Until they died, of course...

0
farmer giles 30.01.14 7:16pm
farmer giles
Johansson "I was unaware OXFAM was filled with anti Semitic Jew hating nazis!"

Hollywood, CA - Hollywood screen goddess Scarlett Johansson has resigned as ambassador of international human rights organization OXFAM after receiving criticism from the group over her recent ad...

2
deep trout 30.01.14 7:10pm
deep trout
Hairy bloke patted my ass says Palm Sunday girl 2
beau-jolly 30.01.14 7:00pm
Underconstruction
'After-school club' in London granted 4am licence 0
Underconstruction 30.01.14 6:49pm
Underconstruction
Poundland considering options for Scottish stores 5
beau-jolly 30.01.14 6:46pm
Underconstruction
Schumacher bemoans "wasted month" after discharging himself from hospital 0
Underconstruction 30.01.14 6:40pm
Underconstruction