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Philippines launches mission to Mars 0
medici2471 10.11.13 11:23am
Tesco face scanners hacked by Lidl – red faces all round

A Lidl Christmas Magic brings a smile to shoppers’ faces. Every Lidl helps...

farmer giles 10.11.13 11:23am
farmer giles
Neighbours complain Trappists have Cage's 4'33'' blaring on speakers till 4 a.m. 9
sydalg 10.11.13 11:22am
'Remembrance, remembrance remembrance' - Wombles salute their fallen

An elite cadre of Wombles took part in the British Remembrance Sunday Parade at the Cenotaph, yesterday, marching proudly to a military version of their famous signature tune. It is the first time...

nickb 10.11.13 11:18am
Russians set fire to space: Isle of Wight Brigade to act

A Russian astronaut accidentally set fire to space, Saturday, after flouting international regulations on naked flames above the stratosphere. It was initially thought the blaze was related to the...

nickb 10.11.13 11:08am
Racism to distance itself from F.A

Racism has announced it plans to “class itself up,” by distance itself from the Football Association. A spokesman for racism told of mounting shame and anguish amongst the racist community as...

TobiasBV 10.11.13 11:07am
Jesus H
World War I "faked by US government", claims academic

Remembrance Day was created to boost sales of poppy companies with close ties to senior figures in the American government, a leading academic has claimed. Professor Philip Norman, of Trinity...

jamsieoconnor 10.11.13 9:21am
Dick Everyman
Homeopathic Newspaper Contains Nothing, But This Is Printed On Recycled Paper 3
Titus 09.11.13 7:09pm
Satellite Set To Crash Down On Earth

A one-ton research satellite will crash to Earth on Sunday night..hopefully it's satnav will locate Number 10 Downing Street OK!...

vanhellsink 09.11.13 6:20pm
Secret Santa ‘defends freedom’

Sir Iain Lobban has responded to criticism that Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) has undermined democracy, freedom and gone over budget with anonymous workplace gifts. The televised...

Wrenfoe 09.11.13 5:26pm
Dick Everyman
Lord Vader announces Redundancies on Death Star.

Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith, First General of the Imperial Forces and Destroyer of Alderaan today announced extensive job losses and "restructuring" on the Death Star. Head of Human Resources Moff...

blokefromstoke 09.11.13 5:24pm
Dick Everyman
Nick Clegg 'disappointed' with Stormtrooper role offer at Star Wars auditions

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has admitted to being 'slightly disappointed' today after being offered the role of '112th Startrooper from the left' at the first of a series of Star Wars open...

Jesus H 09.11.13 3:35pm
Jesus H
Blockbuster to open new flagship store in Ventnor 0
bonjonelson 09.11.13 2:09pm
Torturer laments demise of industry...

Abdul Mohammed Kadifery, known as the Smiling Butcher to his colleagues has decided to take the early retirement package from the Syrian Government after new Health and Safety regulations where...

hardev 09.11.13 1:37pm
Ofgas: 'No connection between 2+2 and 4'

Following an extensive investigation, Ofgas has concluded that there is no connection between the sum 2+2 and the number 4. A spokesman said that they had looked at it very carefully, and found that...

John Wiltshire 09.11.13 12:40pm
Chief O'Hara of Gotham New Police Ombudsman

The former Police Chief of Gotham City, Chief Seumas Xavier O'Hara has been appointed by the Home Secretary to head up the Police Ombudsman's Office in the wake of a number of high profile scandals...

blokefromstoke 09.11.13 12:24pm
Pope Francis asks Ex-Pope to stop "dropping by" to hang out.

VATICAN CITY: In an unprecedented move, Pope Francis has asked his predecessor, Pope Benedict to "Please stop dropping by the Vatican" to "Hang out and shoot the breeze." The current pontiff told...

blokefromstoke 09.11.13 11:27am
Cockroaches plan 'Gap Yah'

Animal behaviour scientists have warned that the 'electronic backpack' made for cockroaches is not just 'cruel' but could lead to an oversubscription for sabbaticals; normally reserved for those with...

Wrenfoe 09.11.13 11:17am
Toronto Mayor wins Toronto Marathon....and Boston Marathon....New York Marathon.

..Chicago Marathon..London Marathon..still running.more at 1...

blokefromstoke 09.11.13 11:07am
Outrage & Disgust As Satirical Website Mocks Foolish Person Who Does Silly Thing

"The post was disgusting and outrageous" said an outraged and disgusted correspondent "And I was filled with disgust and outrage when I read it." "It is a disgusting outrage that a silly person who...

Titus 09.11.13 11:05am
Gabor autobiography recalls Just a Minute Disaster

Zsa Zsa Gabor's famously disastrous appearance on Just a Minute will be broadcast for the first time on Radio 4 Extra, over forty years after it was recorded. The Hungarian Temptress, in the UK to...

nickb 09.11.13 10:42am
Toronto Mayor Bob Ford ‘threatened North Pole nuclear attack’

“It was only a joke aboot nuclear meltdown when I was high on crack cocaine and booze.” said Mr Ford “Canada doesn’t even have a nuclear capability for Christ’s sake.” “I promise I...

farmer giles 09.11.13 10:23am
farmer giles
Berners-Lee: Don’t use the old internet, I’ve made a new one, opening Tuesday

The man credited with inventing the internet has disowned what he calls “a first stab at it” and urged people to wait till next week, to experience “a completely new much better one”....

CulchaVulcha 09.11.13 10:20am
All Syrian cities to be given shell-by date 5
sydalg 09.11.13 9:30am
julio bango
Pensioners urged to form their own political parties to avoid fuel bills.

Up to 2 million new political parties are due to be formed this winter in a bold bid by pensioners to become elected and legally avoid paying excessive fuel bills. With the retirement age due to...

julio bango 09.11.13 9:13am
julio bango
Clare Balding Leads in Celebrity Movember Challenge

The race for Britain's top celebrity moustache was wide open this morning, with Clare Balding leading with her George V-style moustache. Balding has won "Celebrity Tattoo of the Year" every year...

deceangli 09.11.13 9:05am
Iran Compromises On Nuclear Bomb: Agrees To Use It 'Only Just A Little Bit'. 4
Titus 08.11.13 11:49pm
Arab punches man for saying Arabs are violent 0
Dumbnews 08.11.13 11:00pm
Biography reveals Old King Cole to have been a right miserable bastard 0
irreverendJ 08.11.13 10:46pm
Marine's "You've Been Framed!" hopes dashed. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 08.11.13 10:46pm