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Burger King to pay for all paper towels in Chip Fat Oil clean up at drive thru 0
Iamthestig 3 years

After one of the most shocking environmental incidents, fast food chain Burger King finally agreed to pay for the clean-up operation at it's Bluewater drive thru restaurant. The Chip fat oil...
Cameron to visit Whitehaven two days too late 0
simonjmr 3 years
Crossbow cannibal 'distraught' at losing No1 spot. 0
ED209 3 years

Friends and family of 'Crossbow cannibal' killer Stephen Griffiths is reported by close pals as being 'inconsolable' after losing his position as the bookies' favourite for 'Britain's got Weapons'. ...
Call for more murders following soap opera cancellation 0
jp1885 3 years

Downtrodden husbands across the UK are demanding that murderers and serial killers 'step up to the plate' after it was announced that an episode of Coronation Street had to be cancelled in the wake...
Maidenhead girl loses her virginity 9
PluckyMunky 3 years
Football widow 'regrets kicking it so hard', court hears 2
QorbeQ 3 years
Disappointment for Brazil after football team draws 'office idiot' in sweepstake 4
jp1885 3 years

The national football team of Brazil will head off to the 2010 World Cup in South Africa with heavy hearts this week, after drawing 'useless clot' Barry Davies from Accounts in the annual Zenith...
Rooney safely follows colourful trail of M&Ms from coach to training camp room 0
QorbeQ 3 years

Door locked securely. More soon...
Benson & Hedges launch ‘the cigarette’ in bid to combat nicotine addiction 3
Gary Stanton 3 years

Hailed as the best hope yet of helping smokers overcome their addiction to the life-enhancing drug nicotine, Benson & Hedges have announced the official launch of their innovative ‘cigarette’...
Horoscopes by Geoff Futuremind 3
Svendo 3 years

Herpes(01 june - 07 July) - You will find yourself out of crunchy nut cornflakes. You have got normal conrflakes but they arent quite as good. A man named Dave will present you with a lovely gift...
Over Zealous Football Dad lands in hot water 2
suki 3 years

A raucous father who admitted that he ‘kicks every ball’ whilst watching his 7-year old son play football for the ‘Magpies’ in the junior Maidenhead league, has landed himself in hot water. ...
Professor Stephen Hawking to open world’s first man-made black hole 1
Ludicity 3 years

The world’s first artificially created black hole will be opened next week in the Surrey town of Haslemere by physicist Professor Stephen Hawking. ‘I predict that this hole will become a major...
Ashley Cole not "Number 2" 0
simonjmr 3 years

Cheryl disagrees as Ashley has over the years totally proved he is. More soon...
Weightwatchers to pilot realistic ‘two birds one stone’ diet plan. 0
MightyBlair 3 years

More in 3-4 hours...
Man who "Wounldn't hurt a human" massacres 36 house flies 3
Svendo 3 years

Described as a quiet loner he senselessly attacked a dead Rat in his shed with a can of Raid before turning the can on himself...
Conspiracy theorists claim Mars500 project volunteers “actually sent to Mars”. 0
Rorschach 3 years
Cameron announces new "closing stable door after horse has gone" policies. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
George W Bush invades Facebook. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years

<('O')>, -...
Soap Opera forced to reshoot/cancel episode when it is revealed viewers may have 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Shot someone,, Murdered a prostitute,, Got pregnant,, Had an affair,, Stubbed their toe,, Delete as required...
Channel 4 acquire rights to Mars training footage to fill the Big Brother gap 0
Mrblacker 3 years
England fans worried as unconscious Rooney hospitalised 0
QorbeQ 3 years

Wayne Rooney has been rushed to hospital near the England team training camp in Rustenburg, South Africa following what team physician, Dr Ian Beasley, is calling a 'possible overdose'. Dr Beasley...
Theo Walcott given shock Ivory Coast call-up by Sven 0
differentgravy 3 years

Former England manager Sven-Göran Eriksson has handed a sensational World Cup lifeline to jilted England starlet, Theo Walcott, by selecting him in his 23 man Ivory Coast Squad for the upcoming...
Anglers left reeling 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years

Inspired by the BBC front page which uses 'reeling' twice. Cumbria is reeling and so are the Thai redshirts apparently...
Italian newly-weds who trashed a hired Ferrari identified as Mr and Mrs Bueller 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Goliath beats David in 'bullets vs slingshots' Palestinian aid battle 0
QorbeQ 3 years
Rooney keen to visit District 9 whilst in SA 0
simonjmr 3 years
England Squad numbers annouced : Walcott still 24 0
simonjmr 3 years
The Grauniad: England's Stephen Warnock in sex sandals 0
simonjmr 3 years
EU leaders in crisis talks over 'tasteful' pop music 0
andrewmellor 3 years

EU leaders assembled in Brussels today in an attempt to break the deadlock over what constitutes ‘tasteful’ popular music. The crisis talks follow Saturday’s Eurovision Song Contest in which...
Two legged horse tipped to win next year's Grand National 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

'I know it will be an uphill struggle' says jockey, Euan MacQuan...