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Large Hadron Collider to search for theoretical 'Tory Compassion' particle. 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Bond to drive 'second-hand 2004 Ford Focus', Skyfall producers reveal 1
Quillie 3 years

The producers of the new James Bond film, Skyfall, which is scheduled for release next summer, have revealed that the suave double agent will be driving a second-hand 2004 Ford Focus as he fights...

Latest Facebook app judges which of your friends you should dump 8
3 years

Facebook has claimed that their latest app can accurately predict which of your friends you will fall out with, to an accuracy of a week and a half. The social media site also claims that the reason...

Clegg says Britain should shut up and stay with its abusive EU partners 0
ronseal 3 years
Puss in Boots abandons London pantomime for Tinseltown 1
PReady 3 years

Devastated producers of a pantomime that was forced to shut before the curtain had even risen say they have been flooded with messages of support from the local community. The much-loved show...

Brian Cox wins lab bet by coining 'cosmic treacle' phrase for Higgs boson effect 0
Scroat 3 years

Walks off with £42 pot...

Starbucks expands operations in Italy with exotic english names for drinks 10
Dumbnews 3 years
CERN collision success tempered by loss of no-claims bonus. 0
reforse 3 years
"I WAS there.....at the back," mumbles Clegg pathetically 0
Drylaw 3 years
EUlogy 10
Sinnick 3 years

do I get the prize ?...

Avoid leaving carbon footprints by driving, claim American experts 1
bonjonelson 3 years
Offset a large carbon footprint by recycling a few bottles, says study 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Attenborough:”So what?... 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

the BBC has been faking political impartiality for years”...

Missing Higgs Boson has been identified as “Canoe man” John Darwin 0
Newsquelch 3 years

His wife, today confirmed that John, Theorizing that one could time travel within his own life insurance policy, led an elite group of fellow canoeists into the centre of Geneva to develop a...

Jose Manuel Barroso in plea for Britons to be "more European". 2
virtuallywill 3 years

David William Donald Cameron and Edward Samuel Miliband both say they are committed to the UK not being on the edge of Europe, though physically we are. However Nicholas William Peter Clegg disagrees...

Higgs Boson's mum says he is not the God particle, he's a very naughty boy. 0
Perks 3 years
As Physicists find 'Higgs Boson', Biologists near discovery of 'Terrorist Cell' 1
Perks 3 years

As physicists from around the world gather at CERN to see if they can find the particle responsible for the beginning of the universe, Biologists at Oxford University are just excited to find they...

It wasn't the Boson after all; just one of his mates. 1
malgor 3 years
Sun has surprising lead story after misreading "Higg's boson" as "Higg's bo 0
apepper 3 years

The Sun has surprised commentators by having a 8 page splash about the discovery of Higg's boson. According to insiders, the Sun's science reporter (Sharon, 19, from Brentwood) misread some of the...

US asks Iran to return captured football 6
UnoEye 3 years

President Barack Obama has said the US government has requested that Tehran return the football captured by Iran's military earlier this month. Mr Obama said he would not comment on classified...

'Andy Serkis to play the Euro' in new financial disaster movie planned for 2012 2
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Scientists excited at glimpse of Higgs bosom 3
Scroat 3 years
Attenborough revealed as woman in man's body 0
Drylaw 3 years

"In this world, nothing is as it seems," said Sir David Attenborough last night as he concluded the Frozen Planet series. Sidling towards the camera he went on:"And life on this particular part of...

Neolithic long barrow 're-forsed into lone star state' 13
3 years
BBC admits scenes from childrens' favourite Play School were faked in a studio. 1
bonjonelson 3 years
Freehold retail outlet for sale in Wootton Basset. Formerly successful florists 10
dvo4fun 3 years
Toyota to recall Libyan trucks 0
drambo 3 years

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Business/Pix/site_furniture/2011/3/4/1299230806511/A-Libyan-rebel-at-a-milit-007.jpg Toyota announced today that it plans to recall it’s popular trucks after...

New series of Dancing on Ice to be filmed in German zoo 0
butagirl 3 years
Missing episodes of "John Major's premiership" rediscovered 1
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Science fiction fans have voiced their delight after two old episodes of John Major’s premiership were rediscovered in a negotiating room. The two rediscovered episodes are from a 1991 story...

EUgenics 0
medici2471 3 years

- sorry, 8 letters...