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Assad produces compelling evidence of Labours military guilt 0
Backup Brian 29.08.13 11:28am
Backup Brian
‘Do I know what it is yet? It's starting to look like a stretch in Parkhurst’... 0
Tripod 29.08.13 11:20am
Primark launches new line inspired by what Mrs Dowding wore yesterday

High Street retailer Primark has launched its new clothing line inspired by what Mrs Dowding, 78, of Banbury, wore yesterday., The range features polyester cardigans, flowery skirts, spotty tops and...

Sfox 29.08.13 11:17am
Russia And China Block UN Action Against DEFRA Over Badger Cull 0
Titus 29.08.13 11:00am
'It Wasn't Us' Says DEFRA 'Other, Terrorist Badgers Shot Them'

More lies later...

Titus 29.08.13 10:57am
Lions, Eagles & Giraffes Postpone Threatened Strike Against UK Over Badger Cull

More prevarication later...

Titus 29.08.13 10:54am
New 4G network means you can be a saddo faster

Launching their new 4G network today, a spokesman for Vodafone and O2 hailed it as a huge leap forward. 'This pointless waste of time and money is for serious saddos only,' said Mark McKenzie of...

John Wiltshire 29.08.13 10:52am
John Wiltshire
Shock And Outrage As Farage Rejects Syria Jingoism 0
Titus 29.08.13 10:38am
Confusion of nationalities as Pekingese served in Korean restaurant 0
sydalg 29.08.13 10:14am
Badgers "still have sporting chance" if they avoid Stockwell Tube Station 0
sydalg 29.08.13 10:14am
Grammar fascists’ invade News-Biscuit, 14
godly1966 29.08.13 10:07am
Brian 'badger' May defends badger atrocities

Chief Badger Defender Brian 'badger' May : 'Yes, Tommy 'TB' Brock killed 37,500 cows last year, but cows are bastards and deserve everything they get. Have you not tried badger milk? Delicious.'...

Mfilbee 29.08.13 9:59am
Cabinet votes in favour of considering doing something about Syria. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 29.08.13 9:22am
The question no-one dares ask: Why don't meerkat toys look like the CGI ones?

A 3-year old child today asked the question which everyone has been thinking but no-one has dared to say: Why are the meerkat toys shown on the Compare the Market adverts not like the CGI meerkats? ...

John Wiltshire 29.08.13 8:50am
John Wiltshire
Zeta Jones to concentrate on Being Welsh again 0
Scronnyglonkle 29.08.13 8:45am
Obama threatens to get his dad on Assad

He Started it...

Scronnyglonkle 29.08.13 8:41am
Kill your people with normal guns, please

As evidence suggests the Assad regime has used chemical weapons against Syrian civilians, Western leaders are standing shoulder-to-shoulder to insist he slaughter his people using conventional...

grumblechops 29.08.13 8:10am
Government to ban innuendo and double entendres

The government today announced its intention to ban the use of innuendo and double entenders in public. The spokesman from the Department Of General Guidance, Information, Neologisms and Grammar, Mr...

John Wiltshire 29.08.13 7:01am
John Wiltshire
Men still not complaining about lack of real men's body shapes in catalogues

Men have still not taken offence at the way clothing firms market clothes for an idealised body shape that the vast majority of them don't have - and it could lead to Britain sleepwalking into a...

ronseal 29.08.13 6:57am
Assad condemns fitness levels after ‘sudden outbreak of asthma’ among Syrians

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has told the world’s media that he ‘will not rest’ until residents of Damascus commit to the sort of physical exercise regime that would prevent them succumbing...

Long Distance Clara 29.08.13 6:51am
Gary Stanton
Cameron recalls parliament: 'Oh yes, it's that old building full of people.' 7
John Wiltshire 29.08.13 6:40am
Bank of Mum and Dad near crisis after Mum “attempts to float off Dad”

The phone lines of the well-respected Bank of Mum and Dad have been jammed by accountholders after rumours that the Dad side of the business has been in “secret deals” with an allegedly ...

nickb 29.08.13 4:46am
"Attacking Syria Will Keep Our Forces Too Busy To Complain About Cutbacks"

says minister. Even less equipment soon...

Titus 29.08.13 2:19am
Badger marksman shoots panda: should have gone to Specsavers...

It's a black and white case of mistaken identity...

Loundshay 28.08.13 11:37pm
Michael Douglas : 'We were on a break' 0
MADJEZ 28.08.13 10:39pm
Syria action delayed due to "too few accountants at MoD". More soon. 2
Al OPecia 28.08.13 10:03pm
Catherine Zeta Jones to “work on her acting” by not doing any... 0
Tripod 28.08.13 9:40pm
For sale: Used trophy wife, MOT failure, will swap younger model. M Douglas. 0
MADJEZ 28.08.13 9:37pm
Osborne insists it's badgers or Syria, UK can't afford to deal with both 1
blacklesbianandproudofit 28.08.13 9:29pm
Cameron 'out sources' Syrian conflict to al-Qaeda

In a triumph of capitalism, the Government has come up with a novel solution to the over-stretching of the UK's armed forces. Having put the entire North Africa campaign 'out to tender', Prime...

Wrenfoe 28.08.13 8:49pm