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UK disaster relief team unable to help as Japan had 'wrong kind of Tsunami' 0
ronseal 3 years

A crack team of British disaster relief experts, the cream of the elite forces trusted to keep our roads, railways and airports working, is to be despatched to Japan - once the next set of back to...

Derrick Bird Unlawfully Killed 12 people, Inquest rules 0
Ironduke 3 years

well no shit. I thought he'd been granted an EU shotgun execution quota, strictly limited to a dozen....

Tramps go multi-lingual for London Olympics 3
Mrblacker 3 years

The organisers of the London Olympics have confirmed they're to offer every person living rough on the streets of the capital, free language lessons ahead of the opening of the games in 2012. Common...

"You wouldn't get a white person doing something like that." 2
greg various 3 years

"Calling themselves Delroy."...

British Search-and-Rescue team found alive in Leicester 2
malgor 3 years

Six specialist search-and-rescue operatives from the UK, who set out for Southern Italy more than two weeks ago, have been found ‘weak but in good spirits’ in a Tesco car park in Leicester. ...

F1 cars to start with a wet coat of paint, to enhance the excitement 9
greg various 3 years

guy who comes last to be tied to the back of winner's car and dragged round the track on the victory lap...

Revolutionary forces unite in Syria and Yemen 0
Ironduke 3 years

to form Semen Liberation Front...

Quality of landing dependent on average cost of ticket for flight 1
3 years

A study released today has proved that the average price for a plane ticket is directly proportional to the quality of the landing. The study has taken over a year to conduct with researchers having...

Church finds product placement not all its cracked up to be 6
brownpaperreporter 3 years

All Souls Church, Dudley were initially overjoyed at the injection of much needed cash by IKEA for their Easter services and parade However their joy was short-lived as they found that the lifesize...

French Air Force shoot down plane. First since 1914. 12
MADJEZ 3 years
Shell to replace petrol pump price gauge with random number generator 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years

that never drops below 140...

UN declares "No Pun" zone for satirical websites. 4
BillyBitzer 3 years

More soon…...

Osborne gets carried away with “whole hawk thing” 2
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

The Chancellor confirmed today that watching oil companies like a hawk meant “jolly well acting like one”. Perched on David Cameron’s forearm during Prime Minister’s questions, Osborne made...

Supermoon blamed for petrol price increase. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years
Flt Lt Geoff Miller, RAF (Libyan Ops), The Charismatic but Greasy-Haired, 3
3 years

Furtive, Lurking 42 Year-Old has just been designated 'Mission Creep' for Libya...

Scrabble players welcome inclusion of FYI, LOL, and OMG in the OED. 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Killed-off‘Archers’ actor unlikely to repeat Radio Actor of Year success in 2012 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Irishman not sure if Guinness tastes better at home 1
3 years

More to follow to be sure...

Enquiry into mass murderer finds that he murdered people 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

The lastest million-pound enquiry into a mass-murderer murders has found that the people he murdered were officially 'murdered'...

Garage mechanics to be given compulsory sex equality training 4
John Wiltshire 3 years

As part of the Lib Dems' conditions for forming the coalition government, all garage mechanics in the UK are to undergo compulsory sex equality training., The Lib Dems' spokesperson on equalities,...

Man presumed using a bluetooth headset actually having a breakdown 0
simonjmr 3 years
Nancy Kissel sings : My milkshake puts all the boys in the ground, 0
simonjmr 3 years
Royal wedding night to be released on BrideBangers.com 23
jp1885 3 years

A recording of Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding night will be available to view on popular adult website BrideBangers.com within hours of the happy couple fully consummating their marriage...

59p app brings down government 3
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

The iPhone became the latest piece of technology to trigger regime change yesterday as a 59p app caused the collapse of the entire British establishment, and war with America.   The incident...

Ambulance thieves berated by NHS for bringing down average response times 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

In an attempt to evade police after their robbery on a jewellers, thieves hijacked a nearby ambulance. With one driving and the others in the back, they set off with the sirens going. The gang...

Final series of 'My Family' to end in mass slaughter 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

The BBC has promised that the next series of My Family will be the last, as it will end in the mass slaughter of all the cast members., A BBC spokesman said that the programme had gone on for 11...

Charlie's Angels 0
Billy Pilgrim 3 years

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_P1aSfh7IEUE/TBvLeUAvrVI/AAAAAAAAApM/OUab_NhyMJs/s1600/Green_Nuns.jpg Charlie’s Angels[u] Charlie Sheen has volunteered to help sort out Colonel Gadaffi., As a result...

Acker Bilk on stand-by for Libyan operations after MoD admits theft of clarinet 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Invidious is the most offensive word, research claims 4
simonjmr 3 years
NATO put in charge of No Fly zone, US in charge of accidental civilian deaths 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years