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Drunk driving absentee dad says he's sick of all these comparisons 0
ronseal 3 years
Man who walked berserk down Clapham High Street gets police caution 0
roybland 3 years

A man who walked berserk down Clapham High Street terrifying shoppers, has been given a police caution. ‘We received a call from other pedestrians that a man was walking down Clapham High Street...

Ed Miliband hits back and vows... something. Probably. 0
FraserWords 3 years

more soon, or not...

Couple who bought countryside property 'plan to live in it' - values tumble 0
FraserWords 3 years

Britain’s troubled housing market suffered a new blow today when it was revealed that a countryside home has been bought by somebody who actually plans to live in it., The news immediately sent...

Sunday Express names Daily Mail as principal cause of house price concern 1
Mrblacker 3 years

The Sunday Express is to name a tabloid rival as being the main cause of low house prices across the UK. The paper's 19th June edition will carry a leader that effectively blames the Daily Mail's...

BBC finally admits Total wipeout commissioned by 4 year olds 0
simonjmr 3 years
Selection process for top al-Qaeda job 'unfair' insist rejected candidates 10
Qoxiivi 3 years

The world’s leading international terrorism franchise, al-Qaeda, has today encountered renewed criticism from equality and diversity groups over the fairness and transparency of its employment...

Local mouse finds job at research lab to escape the rat race 0
Dumbnews 3 years
BBC Radio London phone in celebrates one millionth sanctimonious caller 8
ronseal 3 years
Gynaecology departments to introduce ‘champagne treatment’ 0
fernandomando 3 years

In a radical overhaul of funding for NHS gynaecology departments, the government has announced proposals for privately funded supplements to treatments. ‘We have long been searching for a...

Suitcase with pink ribbon tied to handle goes missing 4
roybland 3 years

A black suitcase with a bright pink ribbon tied to its handle has gone missing from Gatwick airport’s luggage carousal. ‘It took me ages to find that ribbon,’ said Mildred Moran (48) who was...

DfT hopes for success with new ‘Think! Bikers, don’t ride like a twat!’ campaign 28
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

The Department for Transport is hoping that their ongoing attempts to make Britain’s roads a safer place for motorcyclists may finally pay off thanks to their latest adverts. Prompted by...

Bee struggles with "necessary" and dispels schooling concept 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
French ladies charged under Burka ban are banned from court for wearing a burka 0
Ironduke 3 years
Olympic ticket winners to face drug tests 3
roybland 3 years
MoD unveils 'retirement villas' on west coast of Falklands 4
3 years

The MoD today announced plans for a huge, heavily fortified timeshare facility, overlooking the beaches and minefields of the popular Falkland Islands. The islands have never been so sought-after,...

Unions: "We've been planning biggest strike since 1926 since 1926" 0
FraserWords 3 years

More strikes soon...

Chinese village 'overjoyed' as Xiang, 6, becomes country's youngest apprentice 7
3 years

The village of Sun Yap downed tools for 15 minutes today to celebrate Xiang, a 6 year-old child prodigy who has become the country's youngest apprentice. Xiang will take up full-time employment at...

God admits 2011 weather has been "elaborate practical joke" 0
FraserWords 3 years

God today admitted what many suspected: this year’s weather has been an elaborate practical joke., Between barely suppressed fits of giggles, the Almighty revealed that the beautiful Spring...

Taliban to be offered Greece in peace deal. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Germans retreat over Greece. 0
be reasonable 3 years

"It's about bloody time" says 92-year old partisan Comrade Papagianakis, from his cave near Athens...

Virgin warns virus hit customers 0
captain747480 3 years

Pope hails Immaculate Infection...

US claims victory in Vietnam war after inquiry by Duckworth and Lewis. More soon 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Terry Pratchett to film sequel in Swiss alps 0
4ty2 3 years

To provide guidelines for making FaceBook suicide a painless affair. FaceBook users must have the right to live which is best preserved by committing face book suicide to get back to the living....

Advertisement Feature 12
Des and Stan 3 years

Don’t know what Father’s Day gift to buy for the man who has everything? Show him how much you value him with the Innovations Barrel of Oil. Delivered to your door in its own attractive wooden...

'Worst' primary schools to become zoos 24
3 years

The 25 worst-performing primary schools are to be redesignated as zoos, according to Michael Gove, the Education Secretary. The schools will be used to both protect endangered feral children, and to...

Connotations Catalogue: the gifts that tell people what you really think of them - 2 32
3 years

Can't find the ideal present for less well thought-of members of your extended family? Want to imply how much you dislike a colleague, without actually telling them to their face? Well look no...

BBC to hire 5 year old to make apology to Primark 0
bonjonelson 3 years
L85 rifle deemed "unsafe" by health and safety 9
arnied 3 years

The L85 assault rifle has been deemed "unsafe" by health and safety experts at the ministry of defence. An insider was quoted as saying "Someone could get killed with one of these things". Front...

Amstrad unveils Father's Day BoschPS3FootballStatusQuoStella hybrid appliance 0
antharrison 3 years

Lord Alan Sugar has denied that his Amstrad empire has resorted to the lowest depths of male stimuli in launching his Father's Day special gift of the BoschPS3FootballStatusQuoStella hybrid appliance...