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Apple in DFS takeover bid 0
roybland 3 years

Apple is preparing to enter the UK sofa market with an ambitious bid to acquire DFS.,  , 'It makes complete sense,' says market analyst Rodney Wiles. 'Steve Jobs has long been an admirer of DFS...

Experience shows the less we talk to people the more we know about them 0
Dumbnews 3 years
US Forces credit Facebook's facial recognition feature for finding Bin Laden 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Inflation Rate at 4%: heroin cost increase offset by fall in prostitution fees 0
steve_l 3 years

The latest "urban" inflation rate, designed to accurately reflect the costs of day to living in British cities was announced -the rate is unchanged at four percent. An increase in the cost of heroin...

Man admitted to A&E said to be a health minister 0
roybland 3 years

A man treated last night at a London hospital is believed to be a government health minister.,  , 'A 54 year old man arrived last night at our A&E in a state of some distress,' a hospital...

Facebook contempt trial collapses after juror unfriends judge 0
Ludicity 3 years
Germaine Greer devastated to find that lesbians are just men in disguise. 1
Mr Payne 3 years

Many teen boys and men devastated also. 'Next thing you know they'll be telling us that there's no such thing as the tooth fairy or Father Christmas.' said one limp wristed observer...

Charlotte Church gets own back at Gavin Henson, stars in "The Mistress" 0
JohnA 3 years

More behind-his-back news later...

Shock as people prefer reading fake lesbian blogs by men to real lesbians 0
JohnA 3 years

"Unless there are two lesbians in the same blog then it gets interesting, especially late at night"...

Coalition confirms  "Britain's got illness" approach to NHS commissioning 3
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

Health Minister Andrew Lansley has confirmed that the latest NHS reforms will require patients seeking treatment to be seen by a panel of three healthcare professionals, 'sitting behind a desk with...

Management Merry-Go-Round replaced with Waltzer 3
Midfield Diamond 3 years

Sacked football managers will no longer climb aboard the proverbial Management Merry-Go-Round under new proposals by the League Managers Association. Chief Executive of the LMA Richard Bevan...

Pippa moves to France - 'I'm putting the past behind me' 4
John Wiltshire 3 years

Pippa Middleton has announced that she is moving to France. In an interview with The Sun, she said: 'I'm putting the past behind me, or derriere moi as they say there. The bottom line is, people are...

Leicester City Council 'unprepared for many unlikely apocalyptic scenarios' 3
JohnA 3 years

There was consternation in the East Midlands as people woke to the news that Leicester City Council was entirely unprepared for an invasion of zombies. "We're very sorry that we haven't prepared for...

King of Lilliput blames Big Society for all social ills 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

In a shock statement targeted at the coalition the citizens of Lilliput have joined in with the row started by the Archbishop of Canterbury to voice their misgivings with David Cameron’s Big...

Ministers agree major NHS rewrite : voting between SHN and HNS 4
charlies_hat 3 years
Goat farmers upset at sexualisation of kids. 3
be reasonable 3 years
Pensioner ‘stable’ after Scottish Power refund 6
Dick Everyman 3 years

A pensioner from Dunfermline is in a stable condition today following a shock refund by Scottish Power. When Mrs Gladys McArthur, 92 saw the envelope from the utility company she sat down as usual...

Greek sovereign debt crisis: the Bubble bursts 0
Des Custard 3 years

Just getting my headline in early. Won't be long now...

Cameron's new NHS plan shock - 'Doctors and nurses will help make people better' 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Under radical new plans unveiled by David Cameron, medical staff in the NHS are to be allowed to make people better. 'We've stopped and listened,' said Mr Cameron. 'Mostly to our spin doctors who...

Gavin Henson to star in "The Muppet," a biopic of his late father Jim 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Media shock at revelation that not everyone posting on blogs is entireley honest 0
button 3 years

Did I mention that I'm actually a millionaire playboy nobel prize winning ex model? I am not, however, a lesbian...

Lesbian website content revealed to be created by straight men 1
charlies_hat 3 years
Fans praying Rincewind The Wizard finds Alzheimers cure before it's too late. 2
SingingHinny 3 years

Or Vimes?! Someone must be able to find it!...

Images Of Toast Found In Pictures Of Jesus 3
Textbook 3 years

Believers and biblical scholars the world over are flocking to examine reports of the faithful detecting hidden images of toast in pictures depicting Jesus Christ. "Sometimes it's in the folds of...

Gavin Henson in TV row about dignity in dating 0
Wicked Lady 3 years

Welsh rugby player Gavin Henson has stirred up a storm by taking part in the live portrayal of dating during a controversial TV show. He said that putting himself in the shoes of ‘The Bachelor’...

Medhi Hasan to be guest Archbishop of Canterbury 2
ronseal 3 years

Friends fear that Medhi Hasan may not be irritating enough when he takes over as guest Archbishop of Canterbury. Hasan has impressed in his role as shouty man on TV debates, who knows the answer to...

Cash strapped Londoners shun the Dordogne for hop picking 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

The Dordogne is no longer the destination of choice as cash-strapped Londoners head for the hop-fields of Kent. Land Rover Vogues are also no longer de rigueur with JCB and John Deere fast becoming...

Jeanette Winterson condemned for Sexing the Cherry 0
simonjmr 3 years
New Balls 2
waggy 3 years

Andy Murray says winning at Queens should make up for the disappointment of losing at Wimbledon this year...

Govt to enter "go to your room and think about what you've done" period over NHS 0
SingingHinny 3 years