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"Beware the Tides of March" warns Environment Minister.

More in a month!...

2
BewsNiscuit 05.02.14 3:48pm
Squudge
Gove's Scots Accent found after 30 years missing

A Scottish accent belonging to the Education Secretary, Michael Gove, has wandered into a police station in Glasgow after being missing for nearly 30 years. In a statement, the strong Aberdeen...

0
blokefromstoke 05.02.14 3:38pm
blokefromstoke
ITV to replace Coronation Street with Silk Road

The nation’s favourite court venue is soon to be eclipsed by a fresher, more illicit, state-side soap opera. By swapping Weatherfield for sunny California, TV executives are hoping to rejuvenate...

2
Wrenfoe 05.02.14 2:37pm
Wrenfoe
"Beware the 'ides of March", warns man who skins animals 0
sydalg 05.02.14 2:21pm
sydalg
50's Stereotypes welcome reintroduction of Common Entrance Exam

1950’s stereotypes everywhere have given a ringing endorsement to Education Secretary Michael Gove’s plans to extend the Common Entrance Exam to states schools in an attempt to disabuse “uppity...

9
blokefromstoke 05.02.14 2:19pm
Sir Lupus
Study finds most Daily Mail journalists have why-oh-why chromosome 0
sydalg 05.02.14 2:19pm
sydalg
Talking snake discoveries cast doubt on bible

Archaeologists have announced that the earliest talking snakes were only in the middle-East long after Biblical times. "The first talking snakes date back around 3000 years; coincidentally when sock...

0
apepper 05.02.14 2:06pm
apepper
Cilla protests her new restaurant problem is 'norovirus' 1
nickb 05.02.14 2:03pm
CulchaVulcha
Millions affected by YouTube and Redtube strikes

Voyeurs of porn and cats singing 80's rock songs hit by 48 hour strikes. More soon...

0
simonjmr 05.02.14 2:03pm
simonjmr
Pieterson 'too good' to play for England, says management 0
Electrelane 05.02.14 12:35pm
Electrelane
Cameron passes Duchy to the left hand side. 0
godly1966 05.02.14 12:08pm
godly1966
Gove to Introduce Commons Entrance Exam for MPs 1
BewsNiscuit 05.02.14 11:49am
Wrenfoe
Leaked Government report reveals attempts to modify the weather.

A secret government report has revealed that the coalition has been paying for research into increasing the amount of clouds that come across the United Kingdom. Operation "Argent Nimbus" was devised...

1
Not Amused 05.02.14 11:35am
Not Amused
South West Water accused of "Hoarding" 0
rogerg 05.02.14 11:18am
rogerg
Cee Lo Green denies spiking woman’s drink. But admits he was out of touch

But it wasn't because he didn't know enough, He just knew too much. He asked the judge “if that makes him crazy?” The judge replied “probably”...

1
carlosmanwelly 05.02.14 11:18am
AReader
Government and E-cig Industry to Hold Joint Talks

More soon, man...

4
BewsNiscuit 05.02.14 10:31am
BewsNiscuit
COMMUTERS BEG UNIONS TO EXTEND TUBE STRIKE

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00682/tube-commuters_682300c.jpg London commuters begged London transport unions tonight to extend the current 48 hour tube strike indefinitely, citing...

3
Peter749400 05.02.14 9:57am
Squudge
Study shows elephants are "good at multi-tusking" 2
Idiot 05.02.14 9:26am
jimmydodger
Creationism rocked as Bob Crowe is carbon-dated to the late Jurassic 0
pere floza 05.02.14 9:23am
pere floza
Cornish separatists celebrate as last link to mainland cut

Ought to be a slamdunk if anyone wants to run with it...

0
johnnydobbo 05.02.14 9:03am
johnnydobbo
Ugly Apple computer factory described as an "iSore" 1
sydalg 05.02.14 8:46am
Wrenfoe
Boris orders empty Tube to be used to drain floods. 0
weematt 05.02.14 5:58am
weematt
Ministry of Silly Walks hit by Gaitgate scandal 0
sydalg 05.02.14 1:02am
sydalg
Narcissists celebrate 10 years of showing off on facebook 1
Dumbnews 04.02.14 9:54pm
Wrenfoe
Bob Crowe’s valet sacked after mug of tea made incorrectly

“My career has gone down the tube and off the rails but I hope to be on the right track again soon” said Ambrose Muggins who, minutes later, landed another similar job with Arthur Scargill...

1
farmer giles 04.02.14 9:53pm
Wrenfoe
KP sack. Nuts.

No more obvious ones soon please...

1
Not Amused 04.02.14 9:52pm
Wrenfoe
Elton John "some of my best friends are post-communist dictators". More soon 1
Al OPecia 04.02.14 9:50pm
Wrenfoe
Greggs announce new superstores in Copeland and Doncaster 0
charlies_hat 04.02.14 9:25pm
charlies_hat
God breaks promise as he prepares to flood the earth once more.

Noah would be turning in his grave...

0
carlosmanwelly 04.02.14 9:18pm
carlosmanwelly
Heston Blumenthal admits he gets all his recipe ideas from NekNomination 0
Ian Searle 04.02.14 8:20pm
Ian Searle