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HS2 will make shoplifting too fast for CCTV 0
Laughingstock 3 years

The cost of attempting recipes on TV programmes was given a boost today by HS2; CCTV will be unable to detect unapid items in supermarkets, making them accessible for all...

Jar Jar Binks Wins New Hampshire Primary 0
Immunis 3 years

Outsider Jar Jar Binks was hailed as the new Republican favourite this morning after having swept a massive winning margin in the New Hampshire Primary. His policies on abortion and gay marriage went...

Campaigners say something a bit whiffy about H2S train link proposal 2
bonjonelson 3 years

more soon, for the chemists amongst you...

Stephen Hawking not ill at all, just very, very, drunk. 18
Al OPecia 3 years

The scientific world accidentally revealed one of its best kept secrets today, which has shocked the world of academe, popular media and broadcasting. Professor Hawking was crossing a road in...

Madeley, Worral Thompson, Ryder, Lohan and Gerrard to record charity record 0
simonjmr 3 years

"Shoplifters of the world unite" More soon...

Critics say HS2 promises ‘worthless’ without high-speed replacement buses 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Study finds frequent breaks from surfing the web increases office productivity 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Celebrities endorse ‘random word generator’ for baby name choices 1
PReady 3 years
Fear as gushing Arsenal fans show signs of spreading new disease - Thierry Ennui 0
simonjmr 3 years
Worrell-Thompson's New Cookery Show..... 5
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Ready, Steady, Took...

“My race for power is not over” says Milliband. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

“Oh, yes it is", says everyone else., Well, it is panto season...

Orpington to Victoria high speed rail link approved 1
Gong of Fur 3 years

The government has announced today that the Transit 1 High Speed rail link from Orpington to London Victoria is to go ahead at a cost of £20 billion. The 17 mile trip currently takes an average of...

Gymnastic's giant backflip "turned her world upside down" 0
kimllfixit 3 years
Security alert as Al Qaeda submarine found in Olympic swimming pool. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 3 years
"Occupy" movement in turmoil as Millets close down 10
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

HS2 go-ahead announcement crackly and incomprehensible 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Newsryebread launched as a healthier alternative to Newsbiscuit 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Suarez pips Giggs to win FIFA Merde D’Or 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Met office advised to have 2 dry days per week. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Coe left reeling as Ovett pips him to chairmanship on final bend. 4
Boutros 3 years

Steve Ovett has overtaken Seb Coe to become Chairman of the London Organising Committee on the final lap of the 2012 Olympic preparations. Ovett timed his surprise manoeuvre perfectly at the first...

Shower of Jack Russells in Suffolk signals start of "rain of terriers" 4
Nick McCarr 3 years
Geordies disappointed at 'wor horse' premier. 10
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

'Nay, lad, it's no' about where us lives'...

Cheltenham Celebrates 100th Straight Postcode Lottery Win 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Wry smiles abound as Jeremy Clarkson's ancestry traced to Jamaica. 0
Worth 3 years
English shopkeepers "happy" to accept Scottish 20 Euro notes. More soon. 7
Al OPecia 3 years

Every cloud....

Henry fills Arsenal goal vacuum 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Vatican admit to WikedPaedo use 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years
The urbanisation of the Worrall-Thompson 12
Newsquelch 3 years

Usually a nocturnal creature, often blighted by hideous mange. The Worrall-Thompson has begun to spread into urban areas in the UK. We’ve all become used to coming home to find our bins in...

Ferry company Sea-France "goes under". 7
seymour totti 3 years
Only One Celebrity in This Shop at a Time, say signs in White City corner shops 1
ronseal 3 years

Corner shops in Shepherds Bush, White City and the area surrounding the BBC have been criticised for discrimination, after signs in the shops seemed to suggest that celebrities are a shop lifting...