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Amazon to take over disaster relief distribution 0
Loundshay 14.11.13 9:54pm
Topshop to be renamed Middleshop as sales figures drop 0
davetwojackets 14.11.13 8:15pm
Cameron offers to form new Government with Roma Community. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 14.11.13 7:31pm
Al OPecia
When it comes to escapology, Bond buys British

Weighing into the debate over the 'probable' cause of Matt Williams tragic death, Britain’s most well known Mi6 agent is lending his support to the Met's comprehensive conclusions on the matter....

Grumage86 14.11.13 7:28pm
Landmark Ruling For Arseholeism In Pundit Ageism Case - 2

Ancient TV pundit, John McCririck, has today lost his fight against former employer IMG Media for ageist discrimination. The 756 year-old was dropped from Channel 4 in 2012, and swiftly replaced by...

KateWritesStuff 14.11.13 7:24pm
Westminster Mutant Super Rat population estimated at 650

Too obvious?...

miked10270 14.11.13 6:14pm
Tattoos: Unnamed Monarch Says 'One Does Not Declare Where One's Tattoo Is'. 0
Titus 14.11.13 5:58pm
Customers who know the phonetic alphabet 'not impressive', confirm call centres

Call centres across the UK have unanimously decided today that they are 'not at all impressed’ by customers who are 'smugly fluent' in the phonetic alphabet. Established in the late nineteenth...

Jesus H 14.11.13 5:57pm
Reader Objects To 'Shouty' Newspaper Headlines Entirely In Capital Letters

"They aren't even easier to read" he complained...

Titus 14.11.13 5:49pm
Scientist discovers unintelligent human specie while selling on craigslist 0
Dumbnews 14.11.13 5:47pm
Farmer suffers heat stroke making hay while sun shines. 3
Maverick 14.11.13 4:20pm
Coca-Cola delivery driver 'sick to death' of being 'mobbed' by children

A Coca-Cola delivery driver and vending machine specialist has spoken of his frustration today at being ‘mobbed’ whilst on shift in his Coca-Cola-branded delivery van, claiming that his job has...

Jesus H 14.11.13 4:11pm
Cockney Phonetic Alphabet Scrapped for Being Too Confusing

Staff at an East London Call Centre, bored with standard phonetics and customers that know it, invented their own newer version based on good ol' cockney rhyming slang. However, following excessively...

Flugelbinder 14.11.13 4:03pm
Viagra to be re-marketed as genital anti-wrinkle cream 1
sydalg 14.11.13 3:19pm
Dick Everyman
Groom relieved to hear the news - "The Bride's made it" 1
Flugelbinder 14.11.13 3:17pm
Dick Everyman
An idiot’s guide to ... bridesmaids

What are Bridesmaids?, Bridesmaids are females dressed in horrendous full length lilac or pink dresses at weddings. They come in various ages, shapes and sizes but are all forced to wear the same...

Midfield Diamond 14.11.13 3:15pm
Dick Everyman
Tendulkar Labelled Better Than Lara - Bri' Dismayed 2
Flugelbinder 14.11.13 3:12pm
Dick Everyman
Post office staff to strike to demonstrate how well we can manage without them 1
medici2471 14.11.13 1:06pm
Prince Charles to retake O levels

“One is doing this to prove a point, somewhat” said the 65 year old heir to the throne in an interview to be shown on BBBC2 tonight. “One just about got six O levels, and then one got two A...

nickb 14.11.13 1:01pm
Media Panic as Long Range Weather Forecasts predict Britain will have Winter

The media have started the annual sensationalism of predicted disaster, disruption, and disturbance to everything that moves over the coming months, as once again the long range weather forecasters...

Flugelbinder 14.11.13 11:52am
Prince Harry 'hoping for miracle' to escape Antarctic trip.

In 2011, Prince Harry's planned march to the North Pole was curtailed so that he could attend his brother's wedding to Kate Middleton., In 2012, Prince Harry's planned climb of Everest was postponed...

NewBiscuit 14.11.13 10:45am
Cameron pledges to make Britain think social mobility is improving. 0
phil_smith 14.11.13 10:29am
Christmas campaign celebrates JFK and affordable fashions

Hot on the heels of the John Lewis and Marks and Spencer Christmas adverts, Topshop are set to unveil their latest festive offering. However, whilst other retailers have stuck with traditional...

Andy Winsor 14.11.13 10:14am
Andy Winsor
Whose will be the Christmas number one advert? asks absolutely nobody

On the factory floor they're not talking about it. In the queue for the lifts, it's not the topic of conversation. There's no whisper going round the city of London on this subject. Absolutely...

ronseal 14.11.13 9:22am
World discovers 'Filipino' spelt with 'F', not 'Ph' 0
johnnydobbo 14.11.13 9:22am
Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Social Workers Appeals for Funds

Underwhelming response so far...

Titus 14.11.13 8:58am
New Co-operative building beaten to green award by parliament's hot air

More soon. ....

Not Amused 14.11.13 8:36am
Not Amused
Charles cock a hoop at promotion to Deputy King as Queen become Monarch in Chief

Palace officials have denied that Prince Charles has been fobbed off with a job title shuffle, as the royal press office announced the monarchical reshuffle in the House of windsor. Effective...

ronseal 14.11.13 8:35am
Child protection at Birmingham City Council to be transferred to RSPCA

Child protection responsibilities of Birmingham City Council should be outsourced to the RSPCA, recommends Ofsted. Social services in the West Midlands have failed inspections seven times over the...

medici2471 14.11.13 7:45am
Prince Charles looks forward to "doing nothing" after retirement

As Prince Charles reaches retirement age, he's planning a change of lifestyle from doing bugger all to doing sod all. The workaholic prince is going to continue his official duty of "part time...

apepper 14.11.13 7:20am