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Taliban commander hails success of internet roll-out. 4
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Qari Ahmadullah, 47, a district commander and community outreach worker in Kandahar province, has hailed the success of a pilot scheme to supply local teenagers with laptops and access to the...

New ‘Ed Mil-ogram’ set to take birthday party scene by storm 12
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Forget Stripograms and Kissograms, the latest craze for birthday parties is an Ed Mil-ogram. This new offering will see the Labour leader deliver a message of your choice and then spend the evening...

Friday Nights In Thorne, South Yorkshire Will Never Be The Same Again....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Since the death of shopkeeper, Billy Tomkins (nicknamed Billy The Swill) due to his prowess of removing vomit, in next to no time, from his shop doorway., Mourners are thus advised not to drink too...

A23 southbound closed after child’s backpack sheds load over both carriageways 0
Newsquelch 3 years

Drivers travelling from London to Gatwick or Brighton are being urged to re-plan their journeys and allow extra time after southbound traffic was brought to a standstill this morning at around 8:00. ...

Popular Russian "Down And Out" Antifreeze Drinks To Be Exported To UK..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Initial target will be British tramps, but could go nationwide if the recession worsens...

Teacher paid £80k after leaving work says she "was doing a lot of marking" 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Nicolas Sarkozy confirmed as "world's smallest frog" 0
simonjmr 3 years
The 100 year collision course with James Corden 12
Newsquelch 3 years

In 1910, an British engineer called John Pottersby made a number of predictions about what the world in 2010. How did he do? 10 predictions that Pottersby got right 10 - Squeezy Marmite “The...

Funny names invented to relieve tedium of US campaign, Mitt and Newt confess 2
Clarky 3 years

Worthy of more later ?...

Cameron To Sell Off Scotland To McDonalds....... 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."The Burghers of Edinburgh are lovely, dear."...

Ken Loach to direct Happy Feet “ The Heroin Years” 3
Gary Stanton 3 years

Ken Loach is to direct the sequel to Happy Feet after David Cameron called on the UK film industry to produce more blockbuster movies and less depressing shit about council estates. Cameron said...

Alton Towers unveil new 'Coalition Coaster' 8
Perks 3 years

Alton Towers have today unveiled the latest thrill ride in their collection. The 'Coalition Roller Coaster' has been launched as the theme park's most ambitious ride yet with many twist and turns,...

Scots to vote on independence from Westminster... 2
Smart Alex 3 years

subsidising their free university places, free prescriptions, free elderly care, etc...

UK to be renamed "The Untied Kingdom". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Scots independence latest: Tartan Army applies to join NATO 1
Stan 3 years
Cinema-goers excited over 3D version of film about invisible aliens 7
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

With sci-fi blockbuster ‘The Darkest Hour’, based on an invasion by hostile aliens who cannot be seen, set to hit the UK’s cinemas this weekend excitement is building amongst film fans, eager...

British film industry urged to focus more on pornography and wizards 4
3 years

Britain's film industry is facing a radical overhaul, as ministers urged studios to stop making arty, elitist guff that can only be understood by philosophy students and focus more on wizards,...

George Michael and Michael Barrymore lined up for Celebrity Bog Browser 0
ronseal 3 years
Gardener Loses Plot. - 2 44
sredni vashta 3 years

Or, if you prefer, Solicitor Loses Will...

BBC wins in legal bid to film torture, Attenborough keen to narrate 0
irregular apple 3 years
Gary Glitter spotted on Greek holiday 0
irregular apple 3 years
Coalition urges Brits to select winning numbers for EuroMillions 0
irregular apple 3 years
Cameron keen to introduce tax breaks for philistines 0
irregular apple 3 years
Tesco security staff wary as hundreds more little chefs fall on hard times 14
Qoxiivi 3 years

Security staff at Tesco are bracing themselves for a massive shoplifting spree of miniature proportions following reports that hundreds more ‘little chefs’ have fallen on hard times. ‘We are...

Psychiatrists say Michael Gove just doesn't add up 0
roybland 3 years
Habitable planets in Milky Way 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

accidentally eaten by hungry trucker. More soon...

Scotland to be released on compassionate grounds 6
ianslat 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron has today announced that Scotland is to be released from Britain on the grounds of ill-health. Legal advisers for the country, which was sentenced to be part of Great...

Heston Services keen to distance itself from Blumenthal 0
Scroat 3 years

"We serve simple, basic shite, instead of poncy, expensive pseudo-scientific shite," a spokesman said today...

Little Chef to be known as Nano Chef 0
roybland 3 years

little more follows...

Scottish freedom fighters fail because of 'funny money' 1
Perks 3 years

Today, it has emerged, that a group calling themselves the Scottish Transitional Council have returned back to Glasgow following a failed attempt to fight in England to achieve liberation and...