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McDonald's to 'sponsor NHS' says Lansley

Following the success of the sponsorship deals that saw McDonald's open their largest restaurant in the Olympic village, Health Secretary Andrew Lansley announced that the fast food giant had agreed...

3
newsfelch 05.08.12 12:09pm
arthurminnit
Late night giant screen row: hundreds fight over channel choice

Hundreds of viewers of the big screen on Clapham Common were involved in public disorder as yesterday night’s coverage of the Olympics due to a close, after a late night row over the crowd’s ...

1
nickb 05.08.12 12:08pm
Golgo13
Shock confession: Blues music actually a long-running practical joke

Blues singer Blind Joe Arlington has shocked the music press with his death-bed confession that blues is actually a long running gag played on gullible souls who like to consider themselves...

9
Chris Hitchcock 05.08.12 12:08pm
arthurminnit
Superlatives shortage - commentators resort to expletives

Come on someone...

3
Scroat 05.08.12 12:03pm
dvo4fun
Frantic typing as 'The Joke' is prepared for an historic 2nd outing of the year 5
dvo4fun 05.08.12 10:22am
Ironduke
Canada runs out of commas on chaotic day in punctuation markets

While most countries reported "enough inverted commas" for the "foreseeable future" Canada was plunged into another day of chaos after running low on full stops, and running out of commas altogether....

7
nickb 05.08.12 10:10am
godly1966
Mo Farah's daughter to be McDonalds' Olympic mascot 1
Haywood Manley 05.08.12 8:31am
Haywood Manley
Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy caught at local gay club, comes out of closet

Three weeks after stating that he and his establishment Chick-fil-A was “guilty as charged” of supporting the biblically based marriage of one man and one woman, Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy...

0
thesilverflute 05.08.12 6:28am
thesilverflute
FA Relief As Mo Farah Accepts Penalty Taking Offer 0
04.08.12 11:12pm
Concern as Cash4Gold revealed as late Olympic sponsor 0
quango 04.08.12 9:08pm
quango
Foreigners "have to apologize" for beating GB

It's been revealed that foreigners who make the mistake of beating team GB athletes are obliged to apologize after each medal ceremony. "It's only seems appropriate", explained Lord Coe. "Obviously,...

2
apepper 04.08.12 9:04pm
quango
Meet the Pound Shop's biggest fan; "If I'd a pound for everything I'd bought&quo

More follows...

0
apepper 04.08.12 8:13pm
apepper
We meet the Pound Shop's biggest fan; "If I'd a pound for everything I'd bought&

More follows...

0
apepper 04.08.12 8:12pm
apepper
GB trampoline team demand to compete in a back garden 0
Perks 04.08.12 3:10pm
Perks
Russian PM reveals his favourite childhood dance is 'The Hoky Coky'

"You Putin your left foot in, your left foot out" (Absolutely bloody dreadful, I know, and I'm not even drunk.)...

9
The All New Jeni B 04.08.12 2:20pm
nickb
Keirin cycling event thrown into confusion by motorcyclist on track

Victoria Pendleton's dad confessed to the practical joke when he was revealed as the motor cyclist riding ahead of the cyclists. "I just thought it would help Victoria deal with the pressure, if...

1
custard cream 04.08.12 12:20pm
dvo4fun
Man defrosting his freezer discovers 'Pre-History Channel' peas

A man from Oxford has made a discovery that has been described as having ‘significant importance’. After defrosting his freezer he has dug up a small packet of peas out of the ice that it’s...

2
Perks 04.08.12 12:12pm
button
U.S.A Condemns Chinese Use Of Onomatopoeia As Dong Dong Wins Trampoline Gold 3
Nowherefast 04.08.12 10:48am
Nowherefast
Zaphod Beeblebrox takes gold in the men's double skulls. 1
wallster 04.08.12 8:19am
The All New Jeni B
"Vertigo" elevated to the dizzying heights of World's Best Film. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 04.08.12 8:11am
dominic_mcg
All you need to know about cat insurance

Insurance costs for cats are rising, with the modern feline being both faster and more powerful than its predecessors. Particularly if it’s a turbo cat and the previous owner had it ‘chipped’....

19
dvo4fun 04.08.12 8:11am
Sinnick
Olympic athlete overcomes physical abuse to win Gold 0
Dumbnews 04.08.12 1:42am
Dumbnews
Map makers thank athletes, musicians for putting towns on the map

In 2008 Rebecca Adlington put Mansfield on the map with her heroics at the Beijing Olympics, filling a slightly embarrassing gap south of Sheffield. Since then there has been enough success from...

6
Vertically Challenged Giant 03.08.12 10:29pm
Ironduke
Channel 5 wins rights to broadcast 2014 Flea Circus Olympics. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.08.12 5:21pm
dominic_mcg
Andrzejek Baczewski tipped to win Olympic pole vault gold 0
roybland 03.08.12 3:54pm
roybland
DFS take gold in the 3 day event 0
Iamthestig 03.08.12 3:38pm
Iamthestig
RSPCA protest about treatment of horses in water polo

The RSPCA have called for the Olympic water polo event to be cancelled. A spokesman explained; "It's an unbelievable spectacle in the 21st century; the ball is flying across the pool, water is...

0
apepper 03.08.12 3:36pm
apepper
Essex man disappointed lesbianism not selected as new Summer Olympics event

One Essex man will be watching the Summer Olympics with disappointment after his campaign to bring the sport of lesbianism to the games failed to win support. Eric Collins, 28, from Braintree in...

3
bonjonelson 03.08.12 3:36pm
dvo4fun
Mother-in-law top meddle winner at 2012 Olympics 0
Iamthestig 03.08.12 3:35pm
Iamthestig
Dappy from N-Dubz 'disappointed' at not making GB Men's Freestyle team 0
quango 03.08.12 3:22pm
quango