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Home Nations outraged: 'We were committed to losing everything long term.' 6
Mr Payne 3 years

"Our players have no experience of even being in the running for qualifying for the big tournaments, let alone competing in them,' said the Head of the Welsh, Scottish and NI football associations in...

Gavin from Autoglass eventually replaced as chips are off the menu. 0
pazaz pool 3 years

Windscreen repair specialist, Autoglass, have announced that long running company 'face', Gavin, will be replaced. The move comes after company restructuring resulted in a number of reforms,...

Panic in fertility clinics as IVF blamed for Ulster riots... 0
be reasonable 3 years

More Sectarian fun and games soon. Sadly...

Scandinavian Psychiatrists concerned at alcohol consumption levels... 0
be reasonable 3 years

You can lead a Norse to water...

Go Compare tenor to headline Glastonbury 0
Leeboy007 3 years

U2 drop out due to Bono being 'a twat'...

BBC radio to air Great Sodcasts of our time as a modern Desert Island Discs 0
simonjmr 3 years
John Prescot parodys his career on advert by pretending to be a politician. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Pensioners organise pub crawl to defend their right to get shitfaced. 1
Tammy Flugh 3 years

More alcohol soon...

Northwest Gentry, Ready To Re-enact Peterloo Massacre..... 3
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..if Manchester unemployed complain again about ticket prices at Old Trafford...

JUST IN! Jordan to marry TV advert meerkat Aleksandr Orlov 2
Leeboy007 3 years
Emperor penguin declares itself sovereign ruler of New Zealand 0
Qoxiivi 3 years
43 year-old 'mortified' by age of fellow Wombles fans 6
3 years

Paul Jones, a life-long fan of popular music act 'The Wombles', was horrified to find himself amongst hundreds of 'old people' at their Glastonbury reunion gig. At 43, Paul is at least 8 months...

Investigation Into High Incidence of Door Slamming..... 2
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.'All down to high cost of dentistry,' says expert...

Belfast gunman says he got some really good shots last night 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Nobody expected a BBC drama about the Monty Python 'Life of Brian' controversy 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
George Osborne’s latest forecast: ‘Henman to win Wimbledon’ 0
FraserWords 3 years

More incorrect predictions soon...

Greek government warns its citizens there is no Plan Beta 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Census hackers "wanted to rip piss out of Star Wars nerds" 0
FraserWords 3 years

Computer hackers targeted 2011 Census data so “they could mercilessly track down Star Wars nerds and rip the piss out of them”, sources suggested today., An online hacking group claims to have...

Next Chelsea manager to be 14 year old schoolboy 0
Leeboy007 3 years

more to follow...

Scientist confirms Ashley Cole is 'a cunt' 0
Leeboy007 3 years

more to follow...

America to clone Bin Laden and put him on trial 5
Ludicity 3 years

The American government has confirmed that they intend to clone a new version of Osama bin Laden who will be made to stand trial, be found guilty and then executed all over again. ‘Many people...

OFT joins with feline protectionists to urge for closure of 0
antharrison 3 years
Sentences reduced full stop. 1
MADJEZ 3 years
New Tory Policy Re Cutting Cost of Unemployment 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

'Let them eat chips.'...

Economic crisis, unpopular austerity package cause fresh riots in Ancient Greece 8
pthr 3 years

According to reports from Twitter, Athens has witnessed yet another wave of civil unrest. The clashes started at lunch time, intensified throughout the afternoon, then died down at around 10 pm over...

Criminals angry to hear the Catalogue of Crime no longer offers 50% off 2
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Ryanair defends use of 'sky oars' in new sub-economy 'Galley' class 10
3 years

Ryanair have robustly defended the introduction of 'sky oars' in their new sub-economy class. Each oar is operated by a row of three passengers and the designer, Patrick from Marketing, thinks they...

Financial crisis deepens over collapse of Geek economy 2
FraserWords 3 years

Europe’s finances today remained deeply troubled over the collapse of the Geek economy., Decades of over-investment in internet pornography sites have left the Geeks catastrophically in debt and...

Census Hack Blamed on Boba Fett 0
3 years

Members of the Rebel Alliance strongly suspect that their identities have been compromised by the Dark Side, following today's cyber attack on the 2011 Census. Boba Fett, a freelance security...

Labour criticise government for not doing something they said they shouldn't do 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

What's that all about? 'we're going to do this', 'that's a terrible idea, you shouldn't do that, it'll never work', 'actually, we've given it some more thought and decided not to do it',...