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Bank of England Admits “We don’t know what’s going on”

In a statement earlier today Bank of England governor Mervyn King admitted that it had no idea what was happening to the UK economy. Uncertainty in the Eurozone and the failure of recent economic...

2
ArthurSixpence 10.08.12 8:01am
ArthurSixpence
"Stay calm and think up any old shit to follow" stiill very funny and novel 0
quango 10.08.12 7:35am
quango
Apple announce a new service the iPhoneBox

Cupertino, California: Today marks the launch of a new product, small weatherproof structures based at convenient locations, each equipped with an iPhone. "This will offer Apple features to many new...

0
Tom55 10.08.12 7:26am
Tom55
Initial Mars Curiosity Data May Hold Clue To Loss Of Beagle

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8448/7749245388_11ff6b3181_c.jpg, Sincere apologies if this has been done before. Finished spoofing the pic and had one of those crap deja vu moments. Any plagiarism is...

1
Nowherefast 10.08.12 6:47am
Sinnick
Crazed Bolt diagnosed as 'Usain in the membrane' 0
kimllfixit 10.08.12 6:40am
kimllfixit
Olympic cauldron goes out as pikeys run off with copper piping. 0
MADJEZ 09.08.12 11:10pm
MADJEZ
Boris un-inspires a generation by saying 'sport made me what I am today'

More gaffs soon...

0
MADJEZ 09.08.12 10:12pm
MADJEZ
BBC olympic coverage inspires a generation to watch TV & use internet even more 0
charlies_hat 09.08.12 10:06pm
charlies_hat
Mars dirt just as useless as ours, says NASA 1
Dumbnews 09.08.12 9:13pm
nickb
Child suffers 'I want never gets' v 'Don't ask don't get' quandary 0
button 09.08.12 8:47pm
button
The Golden Shot - "Bernie, The Bolt..." 0
Iscariot 09.08.12 8:24pm
Iscariot
Metropolitan Police Trial New Empathy Weapon In War On Yardies

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8442/7748057554_e5efd64638.jpg...

0
Nowherefast 09.08.12 6:54pm
Nowherefast
British house reaches semi-finals

Following the Team GB fractions reaching the quarter-finals, there's been more success for a mock-Elizabethan property near Chorley...

0
apepper 09.08.12 6:32pm
apepper
UK's top universities 'still producing world-class arseholes'

Britain’s top universities are still capable of churning out endless arseholes, despite recent attempts to force the odd prole through their doors. That’s the claim made by bursars at Oxford and...

9
09.08.12 6:26pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Chat show legend Michael Parkinson 'not to blame' for ending Bob Hoskins' career 3
dvo4fun 09.08.12 6:23pm
Perks
Sunderland's female teenage nightclubbers slate Olympic women's boxing

A group of teenage women who attend Saturday evening frolics at the Get Down nightclub in Sunderland have grouped together to complain about the lack of ferocity and passion in the Olympic women's...

2
antharrison 09.08.12 5:57pm
RickH
Cameroon hide and seek team break Olympic record 0
Actual Size 09.08.12 4:01pm
Actual Size
Satirists praise GB football team for doing the usual

Writers of spoof news stories, who have been starved of easy targets during Team GB's exceptional performance at the London Olympics, have expressed their relief that at least the footballers did...

1
Oxbridge 09.08.12 3:51pm
beau-jolly
Monti Sinks Entire Italian Budget Into Durex Shares As Pope Lifts Condom Ban

The European Central Bank reports that, following Italian premier Monti's action to stimulate growth, inflation figures will most likely remain variable. "The issue remains fluid but at the present...

0
Nowherefast 09.08.12 3:41pm
Nowherefast
Daley Thompson tells media "It sunk in this morning" 2
charlies_hat 09.08.12 3:18pm
button
Tony Blair Deeply Worried That Nobody Cares That He's Deeply Worried 0
Nowherefast 09.08.12 3:17pm
Nowherefast
British youth successfully inspired by menial Olympic support roles

Lord Coe has hailed a survey published today that confirmed that the youth of the nation has been inspired to become menial assistants. Concerns that the London Olympics would fail to deliver the...

0
ianslat 09.08.12 3:06pm
ianslat
Rhythmic gymnasts to perform with humans

In a shock announcement, organisers of the Rhythmic Gymnastics Monitoring Committee have released new rules regarding the use of artistic aids in their routines. The gymnasts – who usually wiggle...

2
kimllfixit 09.08.12 2:52pm
kimllfixit
Olympics Just A Giant Wankfest For Plymouth Man

Simon Kendall, 34, a telecoms engineer from Plymouth was yesterday admitted to hospital after collapsing from exhaustion, brought about by my, I mean his, excessive masturbating whilst watching...

0
HIGNFY 09.08.12 2:17pm
HIGNFY
Two men arrested for cheese fight, charged with Fromage Frais 1
Iamthestig 09.08.12 1:58pm
godly1966
New human sub-species found living on housing estate in Rotherham. 0
wallster 09.08.12 1:24pm
wallster
Mars Curiosity Landing: "Not Enough Strings and Pulleys" Says W. Heath Robinson

"It's a bloody miracle it made it down in one piece!" was the informed assessment of British contraption aficionado William Heath Robinson on the landing of NASA's Mars Curiosity Rover this morning....

5
Nowherefast 09.08.12 1:09pm
Nowherefast
10k swimmer disqualified for "heavy petting" 0
seymour totti 09.08.12 12:56pm
seymour totti
Steve Ovett promises to organize an "even better London Olympics" next year 7
bonjonelson 09.08.12 11:45am
charlies_hat
Gu Kailai secures China a gold medal for the high jump 1
medici2471 09.08.12 11:35am
Nowherefast