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Escaped female goats arrive on island and set up nanny state 3
Nick McCarr 3 years
Obama condemns Livingstone's onslaught on Homs 0
cinquecento 3 years
Abu Qatada to improve public image with ‘I’m A Celebrity…’ appearance 3
ianslat 3 years

Soon-to-be-released terrorist suspect Abu Qatada has been advised by his new PR agent Max Clifford to start appearing on as many celebrity shows as he can in an attempt to improve his poor public...

Wanted – Experienced football manager for untenable position 12
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Are you a football manager with extensive experience at the highest level? Are you looking for a part time job paying millions? Will you happily accept being undermined by your employer while keeping...

Tension at School of Astrology as students await predicted results.... 1
grumblechops 3 years

More soon!...

Christian Leaders Call For Bible To Be Banned 5
Textbook 3 years

Christian leaders around the globe are calling for schools and libraries to ban the Bible amongst increasing concern over offensive content and promotion of non-Christian values. Passages asserting...

Redknapp wants England Job for Euros... 1
Ironduke 3 years

Yen, Dollars or Bhat; used notes preferred guvnor...

Government tells elderly to go back to work and downsize their homes 0
Ironduke 3 years

'Fuck off' replies Prince Philip...

Diet craze encouraging people to 'exercise & eat less shit' sweeps UK 1
Shandy 3 years

A new diet fad encouraging people to raise their heart rates slightly above average and to eat vaguely healthy meals is sweeping the nation. The radical new plan urges people to not finish their day...

Fantasy Football managers to get opportunity to manage England 2
simonjmr 3 years

The Football Association have announced that after the resignation yesterday of Fabio Capello, that the new England manager will be selected from a shortlist of the top 100 Fantasy Football Managers...

Royal nutter's diary discovered after 200 years ? 0
FlashArry 3 years

Royal Archivist Sir Richard Possett has reported an unusual discovery in the stack of the Palace Archive to the Guild of Fusted & Dusty Librarians in London yesterday. "I was cataloguing the...

Wristwatch accuses '10 O' Clock Show' of plagiarism 0
3 years
Cyberman saddened by accusations of cybercrime 8
nickb 3 years, The Cyberman community spoke out yesterday as a cyberman was accused of phone and email hacking for News International’s disgraced News of the...

Pianist With No Hands Astonishes Audience At Debut Performance 4
Textbook 3 years

Reg Rutters was a simple sheet metal cutter from Kent with no grand aspirations, simply content to earn his pay and enjoy his leisure time. But after a tragic accident left him with no hands,...

‘Hooters’ restaurant to close. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

“There’s no market for owl-based comestibles’, said manager...

FA launch 'England’s Got Unrealistic Expectations' TV show to find new manager 2
Qoxiivi 3 years

The Football Association, in conjunction with Simon Cowell, have announced that the next England manager will be decided by a public vote over the course of 12 weeks in a new TV talent show....

Government extend flood defences for 45,000 registered voters 0
virtuallywill 3 years

more later...

England Euro 2012 single to be sung acapello 0
virtuallywill 3 years

"sung" in the loosest of terms...

All Other News To Stop While FA Search For England Manager 0
Hooch 3 years

Following the resignation of Fabio Capello all other news will take a hiatus according to experts. The wars in the middle east will take a break, President Obama has canceled all public appearances...

Mitt Romney is favourite to win Republican's "Silly name" contest 1
Quaz 3 years

Newt Gingrich outraged...

Labour Party chiefs enlist FA to engineer Miliband’s resignation 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years
As spotlight falls on new suspect Redknapp's dog receives summons 1
ronseal 3 years
Liverpool dad threatens son with, "Do you want some smack? Erm I mean 'a smack'" 0
Smart Alex 3 years
The 2012 Mountain Dews Reviewed 4
Textbook 3 years

It was a rough year for Pepsi, who sullied an otherwise impeccable reputation with the 2011 release Mountain Dew which was possessed of overeager battery acid tones and was generally reminiscent of...

New opening for manager to be filled using bung 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

as opposed to the gap in defence being filled by a stopper...

Slain Teen Student Was "Entirely Forgettable" 3
Textbook 3 years

After 16 year old Gregory Hanson's tragic death last Friday, reporters went to the area hoping to let the suffering community know that the outside world cared. However, journalists were shocked to...

Redknapp to be offered England job "Provided he takes English lessons", says FA. 2
Al McHogan 3 years
Alan Hansen shocked by 'Not Guilty' verdict: "Redknapp's defence was appalling.& 1
Al McHogan 3 years


Shearer Surprised By Capello Resignation, Ending To Sixth Sense, Own Reflection 4
thisisall1word 3 years
UK Considers Argentinian Complaint to UN requires "Swift Military Response" 2
thisisall1word 3 years

The UK government has said that Argentina flagrant and unjustified complaint to the UN about one or two British boats helping out our chums in the South Atlantic should rightly be considered an act...