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Zimbabwe Votes Counted Before The Election "Simply To Prevent Disorder" 3
Titus 31.07.13 8:23pm
Sinnick
Scientist responsibe for Dolly the Sheep triggers Thatcher resurrection panic

The pioneering scientist who created Dolly the Sheep has outlined how cells taken from the late Margaret Thatcher might one day help resurrect the controversial ex-Prime Minister, to the dismay of...

5
Jesus H 31.07.13 8:21pm
Jesus H
World speed talking trophy retained by BT terms and conditions voiceover man

Ted Davis, the voice artist oN BT adverts has won the world speed talking championships for a record tenth time. He puts his success down to squeezing the terms and conditions of BT contracts into a...

3
ronseal 31.07.13 7:30pm
Arthur
Stella Artois go upmarket with French-sounding 'Wifebeatre' - 2

Alcohol fans were celebrating today, as Stella Artois added a further sheen of acceptability to day-time drinking. Stella are keen to build on the success of 'Cidre', a french-sounding...

36
31.07.13 7:04pm
ginty
Tripadvisor users invited to review hospital visits

worst hospital ever - more like one star etc...

4
grottymonty 31.07.13 6:29pm
Titus
Court rules locked-in syndrome sufferers should be left-to-die 8
Backup Brian 31.07.13 6:28pm
Backup Brian
Chinese medics hail world's first lab-grown tiger's cock - 2

The world of alternative medicine took a major leap forward today, as scientists announced they had successfully created an artificial tiger's cock in their laboratories. Ground up and ingested by...

36
31.07.13 6:24pm
ゴルゴ13
Failing NHS to be replaced by instant rewards scheme

The government announced today that the National Health Service is to be wound up and replaced by a voucher system, enabling patients to obtain the medical treatment of their choice. To apply for a...

0
Arthur 31.07.13 5:14pm
Arthur
Classical physicists attacked with Planck

constantly...

5
Smart Alex 31.07.13 4:43pm
FOAD
Financial crisis deepens, clockwork toy manufactures face winding up orders. 2
Ian Searle 31.07.13 2:32pm
Titus
Wealthy New York bakery "making lots of dough"

Stop me if you've heard this before...

1
AReader 31.07.13 2:25pm
Titus
Topless Models To Be Removed From Page Three, Put On Banknotes Instead

"Sorted!" said Lord Dedbrane, Minister for Misconceived Initatives. "That should keep the girls happy - ticks two boxes at the same time, a 'win-win' all round."...

0
Titus 31.07.13 2:15pm
Titus
Builder of proposed Vatican Sperm Bank "pulled out at the last moment"

(c) Obvious Jokes 2013...

4
AReader 31.07.13 1:52pm
AReader
Equality Campaigners Complain Of Lack Of Male Portraits On UK Banknotes

"It's never more than 50%" said one angry protester "and when we had Florence Nightingale and Elizabeth Fry on there, the number of male portraits was zero. This is blatant feminist discrimination."...

7
Titus 31.07.13 1:38pm
Titus
Tory Peers ‘angered’ by Howell’s ‘eat a Geordie’ plan

“Why single out the North East?” asked Baron Jameson of Hertfordshire, reacting to Lord Howell suggestion that people from the North East be humanely killed and eaten “because they lead...

2
CulchaVulcha 31.07.13 1:37pm
Titus
UK "not run by unaccountable bureaucrats" says head of OF-QUANGO 0
AReader 31.07.13 1:35pm
AReader
Chronically depressed lemming "cannot be helped to die" says UK High Court

Might be a sub here or a bad taste award, I'm not certain...

0
AReader 31.07.13 1:32pm
AReader
Government creates two regulators OF-FOB for the public and OFCOURSE for bigbiz 2
ronseal 31.07.13 1:29pm
Titus
Tory Peer's apology in full; "I didn't know anyone lived in the north"

Tory Peer, Lord Howell has apologized for his remarks about the north-east of England. "I had no idea that it was habitable north of Watford, so I'm deeply sorry for the people forced to live in such...

1
apepper 31.07.13 1:16pm
Titus
NB Wins Spammy Award For Attracting More Spam Than Any Other Spoof News Website 4
Titus 31.07.13 1:12pm
Titus
Classical physicists attacked by wild Bohr 0
Smart Alex 31.07.13 12:03pm
Smart Alex
Gareth Bale joins Norwich City

Norwich manager Chris Hughton was ecstatic today as he pulled off the soccer signing of the century by landing Spurs star striker Gareth Bale for a world record transfer fee of £150 million. Paid...

0
farmer giles 31.07.13 10:48am
farmer giles
BBC to include new "How We Commissioned it" bit at the end of each show

BBC executives are cock a hoop with the success of the 'how we made it' feature at the end of each show on their channels, and plan to take the concept further. Starting in September, all shows will...

0
ronseal 31.07.13 10:41am
ronseal
HR genius devises job ad designed to deter all except deluded bullshitters

A team of boffins in a Human Resources lab claims it has created the perfect advert to screen out almost all normal people and attract a 99 per cent pure audience of bullshitters, deluded chancers...

4
ronseal 31.07.13 10:20am
ronseal
Panic Sets In And Official Enquiry Launched As Sun Fails To Appear

Investigation also launched into cause of moisture on outdoor surfaces. Government urges public to remain calm...

1
Titus 31.07.13 9:27am
Titus
Lamb denied slaughter by High Court 0
topfotogmw 31.07.13 9:24am
topfotogmw
Gok Wan admits defeat - tells Pope

"I don't know what I could do to make the clergy any more campwith the flowing robes, bling jewellery, love for candles and their penchant for a bit of buggery, seems like you got this thing down...

2
raudus 31.07.13 9:19am
Jesus H
Penniless unemployed baker who needed dough brown bread

Put loaf in oven...

0
farmer giles 31.07.13 8:32am
farmer giles
Gok Wan heads to the Vatican to 'camp-up the clergy'

After surprising the world with his relaxed views on homosexuality, Pope Francis has stepped-up his attempts to modernise the Catholic Church by enlisting the services of eccentric style-guru Gok...

24
Jesus H 31.07.13 8:31am
farmer giles
Top Gear Team Campaign For UK Motorways To Have Less Sharp Corners 0
Titus 31.07.13 8:14am
Titus