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Catholic clergy up in arms over gay marriage ban 1
JustSomeBloke 3 years

"If they're not going to allow gay marriage," said Father Ben Dover today, "What in heaven has been the point of all the work we've put in grooming and sodomising the flower of the youth of our...

NHS Direct to be replaced with reading the Daily Mail 1
Immunis 3 years

The latest attempt at reforming the National Health Service by ‘Minister for the sick and clumsy’ Andrew Lansley is to save money by scraping NHS Direct and encouraging ill people to read the...

Eric Joyce quits as Labour MP to join US Army in Kandahar 0
cinquecento 3 years
Shinawatra weleashesh new shingle "I did it Thai way". 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Tudor re-enactor tobacco smokers face hose and pipe ban 0
simonjmr 3 years
No Met leak culture - claims senior News International Exec on behalf of Met 0
simonjmr 3 years
Sales of rope and paracetamol soar in wake of hosepipe ban 4
Qoxiivi 3 years

Morose, no?...

Costa to ban loyalty-card abusers 4
Earl Van Dyke 3 years

A Woking man who used a loyalty card to obtain discount cups of coffee from his local Costa coffee shop has been branded a ‘shameless coffee whore’ by store manager Brad Fuller after being...

Porn stars can now claim for 'peepee eye' for unwanted facials. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Shinawatra set to up his game following Whyte's failure of 'fit and proper' test 4
Midfield Diamond 3 years
Nick Clegg: "Go back to your constituencies, and prepare for oblivion" 2
Sinnick 3 years

I honestly hadn't realised the LibDems had a spring conference. Not exactly high profile, then. It would be nice if someone could do a parody of Cleggie's speech, though I guess the moment has gone...

Farmers' markets a threat to Britain's high streets, says report 0
roybland 3 years

Britain's high streets are blighted by the spread of farmers' markets and their weird customers, according to retail expert Mary Portas. 'It's not just the unsightly appearance of these outlets...

'Right-to-die' opposers say people should be left-to-die 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Oranges not the only fruit, confirms fructotaxonomist 0
cinquecento 3 years
Rare Brie wins 2012 Kraft's 0
simonjmr 3 years
Kate Middleton woos crowds with 'Fuck Morrissey' t-shirt 1
3 years
Oppose gay marriage, say ageing transvestite child molesters 0
Oxbridge 3 years
Doctor solves flu jab shortage by injecting patients with Lemsip 0
kimllfixit 3 years

A junior doctor in Bristol today made national headlines by ensuring that all people classed ‘high-risk’ flu sufferers would receive a jab to reduce their likelihood of contracting the...

Global Financial Crisis "could spread to rest of world" say European economists 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Female F1 test driver is ideal candidate as she doesn't need to park. 0
seymour totti 3 years
Corporate man's laughter "led to corporate manslaughter", says QC 5
nickb 3 years

When CEO Jeff Lopez laughed derisively at a junior colleague’s plans to improve the company website, he didn’t realise it would cause that colleague’s eventual death, a court heard. But...

Duracell profit warning after EU battery hen ban. 1
weematt 3 years

"The last straw." said Duracell's spokesman in a highly charged press conference, " Following on from the previously reported loss of our AAA and AA ranges due to the financial situation in Europe we...

Tabloids dub Vampire with hayfever as "The Pollen Count". 0
seymour totti 3 years
Lib Dems win Crufts 0
nickb 3 years

"I'm comfortable with the term 'political poodle' if it means being the winning poodle," Nick Clegg told a rapturous crowd at the end of the Lib Dem conference. "First we win a place in government,...

Prince Harry extends Jubilee tour to Columbia to be 'coked' up again 0
thackaray 3 years
Excitement over Diamond Jubilee and Olympics can kill, say doctors 1
roybland 3 years

Over-excitement caused by the Queen's Diamond Jubilee will kill more older people this year than hyperthermia and over-excitement about the Olympics will kill more young people than the use of legal...

Nick Clegg claims amendments to football rules mean he didn't score 'own goal' 1
Perks 3 years

Nick Clegg has upset members of his party during a charity football match at their spring conference by picking up his ball and walking off mid-match. His stubborn child -like behaviour comes as the...

Cuisine emergency declared as chefs run out for wanky words for 'sauce' 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Texan BBQ supplier's launch of Koran briquettes condemned as incendiary 0
cinquecento 3 years
Scholars reassess authorship of Hamlet following one-star Amazon review 8
Skylarking 3 years

The world’s foremost literary and theatre critics say they have been forced into reconsidering the merit of William Shakespeare’s epic five hour play Hamlet, following a scathing critique by an...