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Russian May Day Military Parade "accidentally" marchs into eastern Ukraine. 0
Al OPecia 09.05.14 6:51pm
Al OPecia
Putin denies 'military hardware porn' was his

A laptop believed to be owned by Russian President Vladimir Putin was seized by police after images of tanks, armoured personnel vehicles and other military hardwear were found on the hard-drive.,...

Mitt Walters 09.05.14 3:34pm
Mitt Walters
Most British meat is secretly prepared using barbaric Chemi-cal ritual

In a bid to appease the sinister food science and marketing communities, most British meat is now subject to the increasingly dominant Chemic-al system of animal husbandry. Innocent chickens are...

ronseal 09.05.14 3:31pm
Newsbiscuit contributor in court on terrorist charges.

A court was today shocked to discover that 18 year old bomb plotter Michael Piggin was not a lonely teen bent on revenge against the world but in fact a contributor to the once popular satirical news...

MADJEZ 09.05.14 3:18pm
HM Treasury’s New ‘We Buy Any Gold’ website goes live today 0
ick-head 09.05.14 2:37pm
Scandinavian cuticle chewing championship goes to nail biting Finnish. 2
wallster 09.05.14 2:04pm
Not Amused
MPs concern at extended HMRC powers to recover tax-fraud gains

MPs are alarmed by proposals to extend the powers of HMRC to recover legitimate tax bills which have been avoided by such widespread Westminster practices as 'flipping' and 'employing my wife as my...

NewBiscuit 09.05.14 1:22pm
Cracker used to Hob-Nob with the Jammy Dodgers 1
farmer giles 09.05.14 1:07pm
farmer giles
Pizza Express to introduce custom slaughter techniques

In an attempt to head off a growing revolt against them as the pseudo-debate over halal meat rumbles on, Pizza Express are to offer customers a choice over how their meat is produced. The chain is...

johnnydobbo 09.05.14 12:52pm
Nation treated for shock over Katie Price split

The artist formerly known as Jordan, or the Hashemite Kingdom of Transjordan, traumatised the UK by announcing her plans to get divorced. As has been well-documented, Ms. Price’s commitment to the...

Wrenfoe 09.05.14 12:50pm
Shock as Apple bid $3.2bn for Deirdre's company.

'I never knew they wanted to meet me so much' she said.

MADJEZ 09.05.14 12:37pm
Putin announces Russian Premier-League expansion plans for Ukraine

Speaking during a visit to Simferopol, Russian President for life Vladimir Putin has outlined The Russian Football Union’s (Российский Футбольный Союз) [s]military[/s] plan...

ick-head 09.05.14 12:36pm
English woman chased out of Highland town for adding crème fraiche to porridge

A Bed and Breakfast owner in the small north western Scottish village of Loch Dunnet has been forced to flee for her life after local residents found out that she had been adding Crème Fraiche to...

bookiesfriend 09.05.14 12:12pm
Friends Of Green Earthpiece: 'Believe Scientists - Except About Fracking'. 20
Titus 09.05.14 12:05pm
Poundland SatNavs blamed for Giro d'Italia starting in Belfast 0
RobArmstrong 09.05.14 11:48am
Man who has received third doner kidney pledges to wear new one as a brooch 0
RobArmstrong 09.05.14 11:02am
Satire threat has to be taken seriously says Met chief

There is genuine concern that an outbreak of dormant satirical gags could be about to hit the UK warned the deputy head of London’s Metropolitan Police Service., The threat of sleeping puns making...

Mitt Walters 09.05.14 10:56am
Cracker "part of McVitie's gang"

Decided to just spell it out this time...

Adrian Bamforth 09.05.14 10:04am
Scientists say Thesaurus Rex “extinct, defunct, obsolete, finito” 2
sydalg 09.05.14 9:36am
Katie Price's Split

More revelations soon...

vulture1 09.05.14 9:32am
Coalition to be given choice on how they'll be slaughtered on May 22 1
sydalg 09.05.14 9:27am
Government announces plans to imitate the Russian Victory Parade

"We will demonstrate we cannot be intimidated by a display of military force in Moscow" a spokesperson stated, "Due to budget cuts ours will share the streets of London with the Lord Mayor's Show and...

vulture1 09.05.14 9:26am
Women to be allowed to mud-wrestle, ‘somewhere near front line’...

In a surprise move by Defence Secretary, Philip Hammond, women are to be allowed near the front line of battle. To Captain Geoffrey de Villiers, currently stationed with his troops in some Afghan...

Tripod 09.05.14 8:30am
Deceased coprophiliac to be interred. 3
Maverick 09.05.14 8:19am
pere floza
AstraZeneca to combine with Pfizer to form Methylfucilephenyllacalacalate. 0
Al OPecia 09.05.14 7:26am
Al OPecia
Traffic lights to stay red for longer to combat low blood pressure among drivers 0
sydalg 09.05.14 7:17am
Police 'can't take satire seriously'

Hat tip to Mitt Walters...

throngsman 09.05.14 6:46am
Christianity introduces guidelines for ‘Dog’ meat preparation

Christian leaders today published instructions on how to slaughter and prepare meat suitable for Christian consumption, which they have called ‘Dog’ meat. In line with Halal, which is an anagram...

farmer giles 09.05.14 6:42am
farmer giles
Nintendo 'gutted' as Mario comes out

In a special news conference the head of Nintendo has confirmed that Mario, lead character in the award winning Super Mario series of computer games has come out. 'After years of denial Mario has now...

throngsman 09.05.14 6:27am
Women to fight with men in British Army...and other odd fantasies 0
camz 09.05.14 12:25am