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“Utility Futility Syndrome” hits energy boardrooms 1
nickb 3 years

Fat Cats gas themselves with ethically produced fuels It was a telling suicide note from a man at the top of his career, who threw himself from the top of a wind turbine. Another victim of what...

Russian envoy in Syria gets piece deal; for tank spares and artillery shells 0
Immunis 3 years
Syria Latest: UN Security Council order 2nd Crusade to leave Damascus 0
Immunis 3 years
Daniel Radcliffe faces 'toughest role' of actor who is interesting off-screen 4
3 years

Blossoming actor Daniel Radcliffe has received mixed reviews for his latest performance, in which he attempts to appear 'edgy' and interesting in real life. Since reprising the role of an...

Director of "Dwarf on shelf" denies low-budget plaigarism 0
antharrison 3 years
Snow Based Innuendo Celebrations at UK Insurance Company 1
alessandro 3 years

There were celebrations at a Swindon Insurance company call cetre today when a lucky employee was officially declared the billionth person this week to make the medieval workplace winter double...

Catholic Church Overhauls Rite of Ordination with multiple choice exam 5
button 3 years

In an unforeseen move the Catholic Church has today announced plans to streamline the ordination process. In what many see as an effort to increase numbers in the priesthood after a steady decline...

Cameron to send dodgy foreigner back to Jordan: Peter Andre "..not so keen." 6
dvo4fun 3 years

I'm so, so sorry...

New helium extinguisher 'puts the fun back in fire-fighting' 22
3 years

An innovative new fire extinguisher that uses helium to tackle unwanted flames has been hailed as 'a lot of fun' by safety fans. "Our new canned heat solution harnessess the 'helium triangle'",...

Notts Mother reunited with son after 6 years apart 1
Marko 3 years

There were tears of joy yesterday, as Julie Gamble, 49 from Nottingham, was reunited with her son Matt Topham who she has not been able to find for the past 6 years, despite living only a few minutes...

Silent and dark “The Artist II” released to critical acclaim 0
antharrison 3 years

Director Michel Hazanavicius has described his delight at the critical acclaim received by his sequel to the highly successful film “The Artist”. “It is an epic that will never be bettered”...

Red Ken riddled with homophobia 0
ronseal 3 years
Prince Harry defeats Taliban, shags Pippa and is home before breakfast 8
cinquecento 3 years
Ken Livingstone in new "Lib Dems riddled with straight people" row. 0
Zen 3 years
Prescott in Police Commissioner Race 0
alessandro 3 years

Leading bookmaker reveals: My money's on the Police Comissioner...

Internet close to running out of stupid, irritating domain names. 6
Haywood Manley 3 years

The internet is close to running out of stupid, irritating domain names that mean fuck-all to anyone, industry sources reported today. On the day Wigan-based entrepreneur Darren Stokes found himself...

Gay Labour MP Chris Bryant compliments Ken Livingstone on being a useless cunt 3
Sinnick 3 years
Crack found in A380's wings is the worlds largest drug bust, claim the CAA 1
Iamthestig 3 years
Redknapp blames his illiteracy for accepting the England job .. 0
Gourd Almighty 3 years

Harry Redknapp today apologised to Tottenham fans for leaving White Hart Lane to take up the England Manager's job., Speaking to reporters outside his home, Redknapp said, "Everyone knows I write...

Argentinian Tango Hell 0
benrussell 3 years

As the 30th Anniversary of the Falklands Island invasion approaches, British defence preparations on the island have escalated to unprecedented levels amidst rumours of an Argentine invasion. In a...

New Banksy artwork found painted onto David Beckham's arse 5
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Art experts are said to be ‘hugely excited’ after new adverts for clothing chain H&M revealed a new work by the reclusive artist Banksy, sprayed onto David Beckham’s arse. The adverts,...

NHS could offer new treatment to fight obesity 5
Smart Alex 3 years

Prominent surgeon, Charles Hyphen-Smythe, has come up with a cheaper, faster, and less invasive alternative to stomach stapling. This new procedure, known as mouth stapling, can be performed in just...

BBC apologise after listings typo offers a new series of "Homs Under The Hammer" 4
MikeA4 3 years

More soon. Although there may be more than one joke possible here...

Anfield cat on short list for new England Manager 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Kenny, the homeless cat is available as he is currently 'between engagements' and already has an off shore bank account in his name...

"Snow White and seven dwarves" deeply offensive, complains Diane Abbott 0
Son of Barnabas 3 years

Labour MP Dianne Abbott has once again spoken out fearlessly in support of abused minorities, sparking a new row in theatreland. "It have come to my attention," said Ms Abbott yesterday "that there...

Overweight Irish presenter to present SKY 1 Syria Special 'Aim On Homs' 0
charlies_hat 3 years
David Cameron announces special 30th anniversary Falklands Conflict on 2nd April 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Lottery winner "Looking forward to having a shave" 0
Scroat 3 years

And employing a stylist and life coach...

UN admits they 'don't have enough troops' to surround Eamonn Homs 1
Perks 3 years
Diane Abbott protests that all-white snow misrepresents meteorological diversity 0
cinquecento 3 years