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Season of mellow fruitfulness “gave Keats the massive shits” says academic

New findings from a study of Keats’s poem “To Autumn” reveals that the poet suffered from chronic diarrhoea brought on while he was researching the famous poem which will be taught to a new...

9
nickb 26.10.13 6:06pm
nickb
Manchester police arrest trucker over fears lorry could be Autobot

Manchester police are tonight claiming a major coup in the fight against hi-tech crime following the arrest of truck driver Barry Lewis on suspicion of possessing parts of an Autobot. A police...

0
Nowherefast 26.10.13 5:59pm
Nowherefast
Inventor of kebab dies. Family say he'll become an organ doner.

More un-original puns soon...

0
MADJEZ 26.10.13 4:57pm
MADJEZ
The source of Doner kebab meat is taken to the grave

Kadir Nurman, inventor of the Doner, has died aged 80 but without revealing the secret ingredient behind his implausibly juicy meat. With his death, German police have been forced to close dozens of...

0
Wrenfoe 26.10.13 4:56pm
Wrenfoe
2-Day Drought With Scorching Sunshine Will Cause Devastating Fires

This coming Sunday and Monday the United Kingdom is due to be hit by a massive blaze of unseasonably hot sunshine, leading to parched countryide and acute water shortages said the Met Office today. ...

0
Titus 26.10.13 4:52pm
Titus
Replica Newsbiscuit launches

Spammers have finally admitted defeat as their amazing offers to Newsbiscuit contributors have again fallen on deaf ears. “Our offers are constantly erased without proper consideration,” said...

2
Coco 26.10.13 4:24pm
Titus
Disabled Welfare scheme run by "retards" claim users. 0
Ref Minor 26.10.13 4:02pm
Ref Minor
Royal Corgis stolen - Police have several leads

Royal Corgis stolen - Police have several leads...

9
Paul Bam 26.10.13 1:47pm
pere floza
Sainsbury's ditch customer insults campaign

'Not really a success', admits Sainsbury's spokesman...

0
custard cream 26.10.13 12:51pm
custard cream
Michael Fish 'relaxed' ahead of Cornwall fishing trip

Semi-retired weather forecaster Michael Fish is preparing to 'let his hair down' over the next few days by heading to the Cornish Coast with family and friends on a three-day mackerel fishing trip....

4
Jesus H 26.10.13 12:39pm
custard cream
Michael Phish fails to predict Spamstorm

More soon I bet...

0
beau-jolly 26.10.13 12:26pm
beau-jolly
Royals 'Up In Arms' Re New Internet Address…. 0
Jesse Bigg 26.10.13 11:48am
Jesse Bigg
Now Is The Autumn Of Our Discontent….

….Time to put the PM's clock back?...

0
Jesse Bigg 26.10.13 11:26am
Jesse Bigg
Editorial : US surveillance threatens all our basic freedoms

As the increasingly broad extent of the American government's surveillance is revealed, civil rights watchdogs are justifiably concerned at the impact that this could have on the personal rights and...

1
jamsieoconnor 26.10.13 11:23am
Robopop
Boris clothes-peg swap shock

In a surprise revelation by Boris Johnson’s mother, Charlotte Johnson-Wood, she explained how she had once tried to swap her son for a bunch of clothes pegs. “Boris was just three years old when...

4
Dick Everyman 26.10.13 11:12am
Robopop
Homeopathy regulation "drop in ocean"; that's still too much say homeopaths

More to follow...

1
apepper 26.10.13 10:55am
Loundshay
Re-hab centre setup for Pringle addicts, "Poppers Stoppers."

Re-hab centre setup for Pringle addicts, "Poppers Stoppers."...

0
en-hen-man 26.10.13 10:50am
en-hen-man
Barbie doll snapped on night out wearing no makeup and looking “porky”

Oh, how the mighty hath fallen. London, Saturday night, 11pm. Glamour and glitz at every turn as beautiful bodies swamp the streets. However, amongst the catatonic choreography, one woman stuck out...

4
TobiasBV 26.10.13 10:43am
J Vine
Search continues for modest Australian. More to follow.

Search continues for modest Australian. More to follow...

0
en-hen-man 26.10.13 10:23am
en-hen-man
Repentant jewel thief to put the clocks back on Saturday. More soon. 4
dominic_mcg 26.10.13 9:51am
Loundshay
Man Who Failed To Pay Exorcist Is Re-Possessed

First NB Halloween joke this year...

10
Titus 26.10.13 9:39am
beau-jolly
Cameron to replace red tape with blue tape 0
farmer giles 26.10.13 9:10am
farmer giles
RSPCA helpline to offer advice on GMT feeding times for Mogwais. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 26.10.13 8:50am
dominic_mcg
NSA dismisses ludicrous suggestion that anyone listens to politicians 2
Squudge 26.10.13 7:41am
Wrenfoe
Police rescue Ginger Child from travelling family not believed to be his parents

The child known as 'Baby HRH' was found with a jobless family who travel around the country in luxury vehicles staying in numerous locations....

11
MADJEZ 26.10.13 6:54am
MADJEZ
Indian TV channel launches new quiz show Namastemind 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 26.10.13 3:14am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Circus looking for someone "of the right calibre" to be shot out of cannon. 4
Maverick 26.10.13 3:06am
Maverick
Shooting tragedy as SAS turn their Glocks back. 1
Maverick 25.10.13 11:55pm
Titus
Dutch walk backwards after turning back the clogs. 1
Maverick 25.10.13 11:54pm
Titus
Michael Fish brought in to reassure public ahead of Great Storm of '87 rerun 3
Nowherefast 25.10.13 11:49pm
Titus