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Outbreak of ‘common sense’ strikes small Yorkshire town... 0
Doylem 3 years

An outbreak of common sense, level 3, struck the residents of Heckmondwyke at 6.45pm last Tuesday. Eye-witnesses report that everything was back to normal by 7 o’clock. That is all...
Fastidious bird-watcher "sorting the wheatears from the chaffinches"... 1
Doylem 3 years
IRA is Ireland's AIR 0
Trickster 3 years
Cameron says Millionaires need Charity 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Commoners are being asked to donate every time they go to a cashpoint. Cameron says "Its not just the bankers who need money many of my landowning friends, although 'technically' millionaires, also...
Government Turns 'Constructively Mute' 0
awriter 3 years

Government Turns ‘Constructively Mute’ In Order To Stimulate Economy After George Osborne Claims That ‘Silence Is Golden’...
Meaningless platitudes help millions survive Christmas... 1
Doylem 3 years

The exchange of meaningless platitudes - specifically “Merry Christmas” and “Happy New Year” - has enabled people all over the country to avoid confronting, for a few more days, at least, the...
Ronnie Barker Still Spinning 1
Svendo 3 years

After One Ronnie Show christmas day special...
Man goes insane after being trapped in Wikipedia 0
dogwheels 3 years

A man has been declared insane after becoming trapped in Wikipedia and being forced to read every single entry in the online encyclopaedia. Doctors have said that 27-year-old Nobby Thomas' insanity...
Grammar for beginners: no 1, how to end a sentence... 3
Doylem 3 years

[i]“Bit nippy out, isn’t it, and it’s supposed to rain at the weekend - bloody typical, eh? - oh, by the way, I suppose a blowjob’s out of the question.”[/i] Remember, you should never end...
Apples/oranges to be reviewed as byword for things that are very different... 0
Doylem 3 years
Clairvoyants squeezed as Ryanair take over the astral plane 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Purpose of porn site button finally revealed... 1
Doylem 3 years

On most porn sites there’s a button to enter and another button to press “if you’re under 18 or you don’t want to see grown men and women, butt naked, getting on famously”. Of course,...
Plan for New Year's Honour Killings List axed by Palace 1
roybland 3 years
Darren Ferguson offered job as Hufflepuff quidditch coach 0
dogwheels 3 years
Polar bears urged to give up 50-a-day habit to avoid extinction 0
dogwheels 3 years

Leading conservationists have urged the world's polar bear population to 'break the cycle of smoking and alcoholism' if they want to stand a chance of survival. The problems threatening the polar...
Northern Ireland water cannons to run on Volvic, says Deputy First Minister 1
Gary Stanton 3 years

As fresh water supplies across Northern Ireland ran down to a trickle, Deputy First Minister Martin McGuiness has announced that Volvic had won the contract to supply the province’s water cannons ....
goverment wants cash machine charges to be declared donation to banks 0
4ty2 3 years

to help the poor bankers. sorry doylem had that covered already. better donate him some stars...
Virgin Trains expand operations to France 0
Mr.3374 3 years

More later., A lot later., [url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12085167] Confused?[/url]...
New Year Government savings: Courts to use 'naughty step' instead of prison 0
surdoux 3 years
Australia to finish Ashes series with Hubris and Humility... 1
Doylem 3 years

Geoff Hubris and Frank Humility have been plucked from the relative obscurity of Sheffield Shield cricket to open the batting for Australia in the fifth and final test match in Sydney. When asked to...
Prison English teacher knifed after complaining sentences too short. 0
Trickster 3 years

"It's not just about subject verb object. They need more complex sentences, peppered with adjectives and adverbs too," he said, resolute and recovering in hospital...
Verdict on Christmas now in: “Oh, quiet, just the family”... 1
Doylem 3 years

The entire population of Great Britain and Northern Ireland have been asked to give their verdict on the Christmas holiday, and the results are now in. 99.99999999999% of respondents said “Oh,...
Danish Islamic plotters drawn together by cartoon. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Ulster to be renamed Ullswater .like 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Al Jazeera website renamed www.webombanycar.com 2
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Real FHM start dirty bombshell campaign. 1
Trickster 3 years
IRA to reconnect mains if utility renames itself 'Ulster Water' 0
dogwheels 3 years

More soon already. Oi....
The state of play in Melbourne... 0
Doylem 3 years

“John Ayers (transported 1788, murder), George Barland (counterfeiting), Richard Collier (assault and battery), James Daley (living off immoral earnings), William Eagleton (stealing loaf of bread),...
Higgs-Boson found in Kinder Egg 0
Svendo 3 years

In the rush to get easter eggs onto the shelves a shopworker in Tumbridge Wells crashed a pallette of Cadbury Cream Eggs into a Stack of Kinder Surprise and created the elusive Higgs-Boson. Kinders...
Cabinet to consult the spirit world for guidance as it plans for 2011 0
dogwheels 3 years

Ministers have announced they are to use an Ouija board to find out what 2011 may hold, with the cabinet seeking immediate answers on the economy and the weather. It is understood that the idea to...