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Devil 'struggling to meet gas bill'. 2
malgor 3 years
Harriet Harman backs Three Wise Men dissolution; women urged to apply 0
kga6 3 years
Shattering Christmas news - Clarkson revealed to be Philip's illegitimate son. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Media obsession with celebrities weight ‘wearing thin’. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
UK's most desirable place named as Pippa Middleton's arse. 1
MADJEZ 3 years
Chocolate coins to become legal tender over festive period 0
nickb 3 years

In a crowd pleasing gesture from the treasury, UK chocolate currency will become legal tender until the end of the holiday period. But in a move designed to irritate Brussels, chocolate Euros will...

Bible rewritten to make it ‘easier to follow’ 17
3 years

Christianity has become the first major religion to update its literature to suit modern, busy lives. ‘Bible On: Just Try to be Nice’ is expected to top the best-seller list, and has been hailed...

Scarborough Borough Council apologises for being repetitive. 0
malgor 3 years
Wikileaks set to Release Nice and Naughty Lists 4
Zirguit 3 years

Wikileaks are set to cause more trouble tomorrow as they prepare to release who has been bad and who has been good on to the web. The whistle-blowing website will not reveal the source of the data...

Prince Philip's Ooh Matron remarks starting to wear a bit thin 0
Drylaw 3 years
Sober man treated in A&E on Christmas Eve, claims NHS. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Airline fury as government force them to think of new way to rip-off people 4
apepper 3 years

Airlines, theatres and local government have reacted with fury at the reduction of charges for using credit or debit cards. "Our whole business model is based on charging £6 for things that cost us...

Terry apologises for calling Ferdinand 'black' still thinks he's a c**t though. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Man with mistletoe on belt buckle at office party "comic genius" say colleagues. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Divorcing Couple Play Football on Christmas Day - 2 34
Quaz 3 years

In a touching gesture of Christmas spirit, divorcing couple Joe and Paula Western decided to set aside their differences on Christmas day, starting with a rendition of “Silent Night” before...

Innocent smoothie drunk by guilty roughian 0
nickb 3 years
Diana to blame for Philip heart scare claims Al-Fayed. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More Daily Express conspiracies soon...

"Prince Philip's heart operation a complete success", Palace announces sadly 0
JohnA 3 years
Woman painted by Picasso now laughing on other side of her face 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Tributes pour in as Old MacDonald 'buys the farm' 0
Immunis 3 years
Government claims economy improving as seagull puts deposit on new car 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Economy saved as Chancellor finds sixpence in Christmas Pudding 0
Major Clanger 3 years
A Puppy is not just for Christmas. Jamie Olver makes his last till New Years Day 1
Username 3 years
Quality Street hit by xmas riots 1
nickb 3 years, The street synonymous with family values, community celebration and low cost dental caries...

Innocent, law-ignoring scrap metal dealers targeted by ruthless sculptor gang 10
Clarky 3 years

Police have declared war on a ruthless gang of sculptors who are targeting scrap metal dealers in the South East, after a replaceable heap of metal junk was stolen overnight from a yard in Billericay...

Incomplete Headlines Strike Agai 3
Immunis 3 years
Foreign nurses in Cambridge unexpectedly given Christmas off 0
Perks 3 years
Recovering George Michael leaves cottaging hospital. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Prince Philip has breast implant removed 0
apepper 3 years

Cover story slips...

Man with stocking fetish arrested for trespassing 0
charlies_hat 3 years