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China Demands Dalai Lama Wear Mickey Mouse Ears For Obama Meeting 0
mugwump 3 years
New movie based on Investi-gate scandal will star Tom Cruise as Nick Davies 0
ronseal 3 years

The story of the dogged investigation into corruption in high places is to get the Hollywood treatment. The movie will be set in Washington, with The Guardian's Nick Davies being played by Tom...

Foot fetishists to be banned from yoga classes 0
Christopher Frost 3 years

The coalition government is planning a crackdown on foot fetishists who attend yoga classes seeking sexual gratification. The move comes only days after Conservative MP Louise Mensch, criticised a...

68% of men only watching Women's World Cup to see jersey swap 0
GrahamB 3 years

A shock survey on the eve of the FIFA Women's World Cup Final has revealed that over two-thirds of male viewers actually don't give a toss about women's soccer and are only watching in the hope of...

US Military Introduces 'Don't Even Try To guess If He's a You Know What' Policy 0
mugwump 3 years
Pamplona attacks: Bull charged 0
beau-jolly 3 years
At the age of 94, Googie finally, Withers 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years
To compete with free social networks, Google+ pays you to join 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Rumour Mill Set to Close 5
f0zz 3 years

Britain's oldest industry will close its doors next month, citing among recent financial constraints, the publics' "Dwindling appetite for scandal". The Mill, whose vast foundries have forged...

West to give Gaddafi’s billions to rebels... 0
be reasonable 3 years

to buy weapons from the West...

Hack scandal worsens. Were journalists guilty of fiddling expenses too? 0
ronseal 3 years
Communist dies after brutal hammer and sickle attack 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Buffy the vampire slayer’s parents don’t like her first boyfiend. 0
be reasonable 3 years

“He’s up all night, he smells, talks gibberish and flies into inexplicable rages,” they said. “Why can’t she date a normal teenager oh”...

Young Cow Suffers Calf Strain in Milk Cup Final 0
mugwump 3 years

More moosbiscuit headlines later...

Army to be replaced by friendless, paintball-obsessed bores 2
SpankyMonkey 3 years
Obama reality check required after he asks for Captain Kirk on space call 0
Basil_B 3 years
Drinker reveals “cider-fects” 3
beau-jolly 3 years

In a frank interview on Radio West, folk singer James “stinky” Trewyln explained the unfortunate domino effect caused by habitual cider consumption., With disarming honesty, he explained that...

Theories swirl over absences of ‘useless pillock’ salesman 1
Oxbridge 3 years

Scholars at market-tracking software firm eMarket Systems in Basingstoke are engaged in a lengthy, often rancorous debate about the repeated absences of sales executive Jason Bradshaw. Several are...

Hertz Van Rental named as new Austro-Hungarian heir 0
beau-jolly 3 years
Festival goer comits chemi khazi 0
beau-jolly 3 years

(Just jealous 'cos I'm at work)...

female cyclist dares to venture into middle of road 2
a bloke nothing funny to say 3 years

After decades of female cyclists habitually hugging the kerb as if they were magnatically glued to it, the first sighting in Britain of one cycling in the middle of the road has been brought to our...

Rebekah Brooks unresigns 1
Ludicity 3 years

In yet another twist to the phone hacking scandal, former News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks has announced her unresignation from the company. ‘It is totally inconceivable that I...

Man thrown out of Judo club. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 3 years
Kids surprised to see a 'we are sorry' message in this weeks copy of the Dandy 0
Basil_B 3 years
Gov Creates Anti Swearing Regulator, Office for Undermining Cursing , OFUC 2
mugwump 3 years
Missing person finds himself on the Internet. 1
Frott Spank 3 years

A 43-year-old man who disappeared 381 days ago found himself today. John Smith, a welder from Bolton, declared, "I feel like a new man. I thought it was never going to happen!" Mr. Smith explained...

Stewart Lee conquers his phobia of telling jokes 3
Christopher Frost 3 years
Liverpool Shell Out Again for Mediocre Talent by Signing Rebekah Brooks 1
scrumper 3 years

In another daring move to sign mediocre British talent, Liverpool Football Club today signed free agent Rebekah Brooks for a fee thought to have broken the British transfer record. A spokesman at the...

In New york Hassidic Child killer Levi Aron'says he hears voices telling him 13
doggone 3 years

"say you hear voices"...

Nigel's parents admit things haven't turned out the way they planned. 8
Ian Searle 3 years

After he was made redundant by British Steel...