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"I had a stroke and woke up beautiful" claims Samantha Brick 0
cinquecento 3 years
100th birthday telegrams from the Queen to be axed due to cost of stamps 1
Mr_Johno 3 years

Buckingham Palace has announced today that the Queen will no longer be sending the traditional birthday greetings to those who reach their centenary birthday, due to the Royal Mail's planned rise in...

Breivik a right-wing nutwho posted vile abuse on the internet, says Daily Mail 0
Oxbridge 3 years
Prostate prognosis improves if wife is a high-pitched harridan 0
medici2471 3 years
Prostate trial collapses and establishes impotent precedent 0
weematt 3 years
Stroke victim rugby player discovers he's straight 0
medici2471 3 years
Government announce fracking to recommence under Blackpool 0
rustytruss 3 years

and all future Tory Party conferences will be held in Brighton...

Carjacker admits to ignoring Baby On Board stickers 3
Gary Stanton 3 years

A carjacker who left a Peugeot 306 containing two toddlers smouldering in a ditch has admitted that the Baby on Board stickers failed to have much of an impact on his decision-making process. The...

Gods “unworried” by imminent Greek-led collapse of civilisation. 7
nickb 3 years

The mood on Olympus was relaxed – if not amused - by the likelihood that the country that brought humanity civilisation may now be responsible for causing its demise. In a short interview,...

Man kidnapped by avant-garde composer exhibits signs of Stockhausen syndrome 1
Smart Alex 3 years
Couple succeed in using week off to book next holiday 4
Des Custard 3 years

Chantelle and Stuart Sanders, 26 and 31, of Carshalton, say they are ecstatic after managing to book their next holiday during a week off work. They spent the first weekend of their break...

Pippa Middleton avoids gun rap as front-on ID parade inconclusive 0
Yikes 3 years

French police have announced that no charges will be laid against Pippa Middleton as a result of a weekend gun incident in Paris as none of the many witnesses got a clear view of her famous rear....

Will change of fracking policy by Government mean less fracking problems? 0
weematt 3 years

The Government have announced proposed changes to legislation concerning fracking. The need for this legislation has been driven by environmental concerns., Sometimes fracking can can be so noisy...

Technology not needed to show footballers' pay crossing the line. 0
yussle 3 years
Wallowing in nostalgia not what it used to be claims BBC documentary 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Documentary reveals Titanic sunk by Italian captain waving to friend on iceburg 0
quango 3 years
Seattle chemist finally receives consignment of sleeping tablets. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Muamba leaves hospital on a free transfer. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Para-Grand National fails to produce a winner 4
Zadok the second 3 years

The equestrian equivalent of the Paralympics has once again failed to return a winner, according to an Aintree spokesperson. The race, which is open to any horses who have died or broken their legs...

Trees in Rainforests to be felled in cute shapes, so it looks better from Space 3
virtuallywill 3 years

The South American trade association that represents the many lumber and farming companies in the Amazon rainforest have launched a new initiative to improve their public image., SADIST (South...

Drought Minister advises: 'Dump petrol from jerrycans and fill with water' 2
pinxit 3 years
Mensa introduce Minsa in bid to attract highly intelligent homosexuals 0
Haywood Manley 3 years

Hat tip to [url=]Yikes[/url] for the inspiration...

Professional Footballers Union seeks more inclusive approach 0
yens123 3 years

Professional Footballers Union seeks more inclusive approach The professional footballers association has announced an extension to its pledges to counter claims from professional footballers that...

Police Probe Bogus Office Grand National Sweepstake 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

Police in Hyde Cheshire, today charged a man with fraud having uncovered a bogus Grand National Office Sweepstake., Office Punters became suspicious when Mrs Ivy Benson drew perennial favourite,...

Man plans to press TV red button soon 1
roybland 3 years

A Wolverhampton pensioner is planning to press the red button on his television 'quite soon' after several years of thinking about the operation. Percy Wood,72, said that although he's often been...

Cameron and Pasty Saga- the story continues 0
Tom55 3 years

"I am afraid that I may have inadvertently confused the public- it was a Cornish Pixy I ate in Leeds, not a pastie." admits Cameron, "I have to say the little buggers, though tasty, are full of bones...

Failed Kandoo wipe qualifies as teacher 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Iceberg asks 'Titanic' creator Julian Fellowes to write it out of next series. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Trees in Rainforests to be felled in cute shapes, so it looks better from Space 5
virtuallywill 3 years

More later...

Anders Brevik tells court "Jeremy Beadle's voice made me do it" 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years