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Santa announces closure of North Pole workshop 7
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

St ‘Santa’ Nicholas, who trades as Father Christmas Plc, is planning to close his North Pole operation and cull four reindeer, blaming poor economic conditions and the impact of the eurozone...

John Terry denies racism claims; 'Chalky can see the funny side'. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

More soon 'nick nick'...

Critics say announcement of 5,000 new jobs at Starbucks ‘is just so much froth’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Alastair Campbell offers to help Leveson write his report 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Revenge execution of singer Kelly Clarkson "Due to unfortunate clerical error" 0
Drylaw 3 years
New Health and Safety Lottery axed as ticket 'may give papercut' 0
Perks 3 years
Jeremy Clarkson to be taken outside and struck. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Police on high alert for attractive female sexual predator 2
Dumbnews 3 years
Adobe Reader update finally ready to download! 0
grumblechops 3 years

After hours of terrifying silence, Adobe finally made users safe again after missing their normal update delivery target by almost 19 hours. Internet forums have been going crazy with panic as...

Private sector staff stage mass walkout at 6pm 7
grumblechops 3 years

Similar action expected for the rest of the week, with millions expected to withhold labour completely at the weekend...

DIM refuse to take industrial action 2
Rich Liszt 3 years

Public sector workers opposed to today’s strike action say they will refuse to accept any improved pay offer or pension deal that may materialise as a direct result of the ongoing industrial...

Recession: Toothpaste manufacturers feeling the squeeze. 1
Major Clanger 3 years
UK's first women's health centre marks its centenary with mammogram from Queen 10
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

First day of Christmas shopping spree ‘unexpectedly successful' 5
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

say high street retailers...

We buy draws the line at Alan and Jimmy 0
simonjmr 3 years
Public sector CCTV wankers, child snatchers and bin snoopers could strike again! 0
ronseal 3 years
Dyslexic blamed after Office "Secret Satan" gifts are offensive and disgusting 3
simonjmr 3 years
BT Broadband support "have been on strike for the last 2 years" 0
apepper 3 years

BT has revealed why there is such a long wait for BT Broadband support; the staff have on strike in a dispute over how BT should be spelt...

Facebook accuses BBC of plagiarism 0
kga6 3 years
Spies now classified as critically endangered 0
kga6 3 years

I spy with my little eye certainly not a spy. For the past decade, spies have been rather too easy to identify and oust and the result has been a dramatic decrease in numbers in the wild....

Bankers threaten to work efficiently and effectively for a day. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
George Michael improving, say doctors. NME disagrees. More soon. 4
dominic_mcg 3 years
Man Declared Insane By Committee of Psychiatrists 1
Awkward Facts 3 years The man who ran amok and wreaked havoc on the economy of Britain (a large island in the North Sea) has been declared insane by psychiatric experts and...

Government taskforce issues statement to Unions: 1
charlies_hat 3 years

"If you strike again, we shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine"...

Government says 16 job centres out of 712 closed, both jobs are still available 2
virtuallywill 3 years

more later...

Parents concerned about rebellious teen who refuses to do anything rebellious 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Skate manufacturer releases budget model, "The Cheap Skate" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Cameron visits Nicooraguararan embassy to clarify British Country’s position 1
Newsquelch 3 years

In the wake of the recent ‘Tramgate’ diplomatic crisis sparked by Emma West’s outburst on Croydon Tramlink, the Prime Minister has made an urgent visit to representatives of the insulted...

Dirty Mac brigade affected by Pubic Sector Strikes 0
simonjmr 3 years
New NHS report shows patients more likely to die when left in the car park. 3
dominic_mcg 3 years