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Tottenham to offer ‘Nictatelli’ a trial 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

An unknown local youngster that Harry Redknapp has only watched on TV is Spurs’ latest target. The mystery youth shows nifty footwork and an impressive turn of speed in the ten second clip, during...

Rio Ferdinand to address the nation on Twitter. 0
rebel not taken 3 years

Kick Off 19.45 (Sky Sports 1HD)...

Debenhams reviews security after perfume staff delay looters for only 10 minutes 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Looter who stole CRT TV is ridiculed by peers 0
antharrison 3 years
Rioting is getting easier, hears parliamentary committee. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Inmates of Cell Block #9 'Just sitting about, really' 0
Skylarking 3 years
Government to tackle rioters with army of Nanas 0
evilsuperstar 3 years

The Government has announced a radical new measure to assist exhausted police and force young rioters out of our towns and cities. Operation Battenburg will see thousands of elderly ladies take to...

PM flies home as silly season drought enters fifth week 3
Skylarking 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron has returned to London as the dearth of any silly season in the printed and broadcast media continues into its fifth week. The PM is set to be joined by the entire...

Apple Launches new iPredictaRiot App 0
captain747480 3 years
Tesco offers to pay £10m OFT fine with Clubcard vouchers 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Rioters still steering clear of Job Centres 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Economy upturn as city stores discover new way of moving old stock easily. 0
Steve Wilson 3 years

No more soon...

Disturbing rise in copycat soundbites denounced as 'completely unacceptable' 0
Ludicity 3 years
Looters take Tuesday night off to get stuff on eBay. 0
Steve Wilson 3 years
Cameron told to cut short his job as PM and go away on holiday 0
Ludicity 3 years
Text: Cameron. Riots. Nah Nah Ne Nah Nah. Assad 0
Steve Wilson 3 years
Hoodies are unrepresented in the police force, says hoody community leader 0
ronseal 3 years
London riots: all incidents mapped, Smoker faces £2,500 fine 0
arflaethel 3 years

for dropping cigarette ash on pavement...

Riots hit Mansfield. 0
arthurminnit 3 years

Chief Inspector Grey said it was just another normal Tuesday night in the town centre, just less violent than usual...

'Taking action to Stop Violence Would be Failure' says Professor 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

The British Model of Policing that involves a cheery smile and many hours of form filling would collapse if officers actually intervened in disturbances. 'We can't use water canons because we only...

Isn't it time we brought back football hooliganism? -asks why oh why columnist 0
ronseal 3 years

The usual namby pamby liberals will laugh, but nevertheless, I say this. Put these wretched hoodies on the football terraces and give them something constructive to do, writes Tony Parsons, in the...

Government to Outsource Policing to 'Turkish Shopkeepers' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

A new poll said the public would be feel more confident if the streets of london were policed by Turkish shopkeepers who take action to prevent disturbance rather than let it happen.. One Turkish...

Police to be replaced by Cardboard Cut Outs 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Shopkeepers were reassured that each street corner will have a new cardboard police officer with a smiley face and said they would be as if not more effective than the current police who just stand...

Met Office to introduce "Riot Forecasts". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years

High pressure areas moving in from the south resulting in very high temperatures in some shops. Areas of high trouble joined by isoloots...

Its amazing how police do nothing to these looters especially 0
guffaw 3 years

when they are politicians, policemen, businessmen and bankers...

Chiswick vigilantes to defend Turnham Green. 1
rebel not taken 3 years

Reports are coming in from Chiswick that a band of rowdy yoga mums have looted the artisan bakery and made off with all the walnut and sun blushed tomato bread. The angry mob, wearing pink pashminas...

IoW launch e-petition to bring back Transportation 0
Shaddick_Spofforth 3 years
Home Secretary Returns After London Violence 0
victimms 3 years

Theresa May admits to starting it...

Police blame middle-class infiltrators as Bang & Olufsen store looted. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Rohan and Laura Ashley to beef up security...

Rioters paid to help with Swindon town centre regeneration 0
victimms 3 years

Council officials agree on course of action...