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London man makes heroic decision to subscribe to online edition of newspaper

After years of indecision, an Islington man is paying £9.99 a month for access to the online edition of a national newspaper. Sam Pierce said he was still kept awake at night wondering if he'd made...

roybland 09.06.12 3:21pm
Fry-ups Under Fire As Ministers Favour Fags

The Coalition is intending to implement new legislation in relation to one of the nation's best-loved signature dishes - The Full English. And if the changes are green-lighted, then from July 2013 it...

Duff 09.06.12 3:04pm
Tom Windsor promises to take action on Police Operations Names.

Incoming Police Regulator today slammed the falling standards in Police Operations naming as the Met revealed a raft of serious crime task forces called Operation Thingy, wordswordswords and Your...

Lemon difficult 09.06.12 1:10pm
Lemon difficult
Prince Philip leaves hospital in time to offend foreigners at Euro 2012

A nation celebrates as Prince Philip will be able to go to Poland and offend foreigners after all...

apepper 09.06.12 11:32am
Manchester man provides deep insight into Euro crisis

Terry Jenkins of Manchester unwittingly made an enemy of most of Britain with his accurate, but unfortunate, summation of the Greek crisis when interviewed by the BBC this week. "As far as I can...

kga6 09.06.12 8:18am
Greek debt crisis solved through sale of alphabet to Apple

The continuing debt and currency crisis wracking Greece appears to have been solved this week with the sale of the Greek alphabet to Apple. Western countries have long been baffled by Greece's...

Nick McCarr 09.06.12 7:30am
Nick McCarr
Austerity cuts leave Greece with 10 men 0
Not Amused 08.06.12 8:49pm
Not Amused
Older people advised to stop going on about how they've worked all their lives

Britain's older people should stop telling people how they've worked hard all their lives and always paid their taxes, says Oxford University geriatrician Dr Margaret Soames (21). 'In the first...

roybland 08.06.12 8:31pm
Former lover claims Cheryl Cole mimes in bed. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 08.06.12 7:49pm
Scots enter Olympic spirit by lighting fags off Olympic torch.

More healthy activity soon...

MADJEZ 08.06.12 7:08pm
Jimmy Anderson fury at sitting in a different changing room watching the rain

England fast bowler has expressed his anger at being "rested" for the third test; "I'd particularly wanted to sit in the Edgbaston dressing room watching the rain come down. Now I'm forced to sit in...

apepper 08.06.12 4:56pm
Merkel agrees "double or quits" with Greece over Euro 2012 0
quango 08.06.12 4:52pm
Divorce Looming For Leading Seismologist After Infidelities Rumbled By Wife 1
Duff 08.06.12 4:30pm
Polish supporters claim they were just singing "Funky Gibbon". UEFA close case 0
grottymonty 08.06.12 2:48pm
Dalai Lama surprised at omission of Rio Ferdinand from England squad 2
grottymonty 08.06.12 11:44pm
Zeus, God of rain & Lord of the sky intervenes in England cricket team selection

Following the England selectors outrageous decision to leave Jimmy Anderson out of the final test against the West Indies at Edgbaston, Zeus himself has intervened to ensure no one gets a bowl by...

grottymonty 08.06.12 9:43pm
"Say Cheese My Son" As Eastenders Sets The Pace Again

Never one to shy away from the big topics and issues of the day, BBC flagship drama, Eastenders, is once again setting the agenda and is on course to shock its fans and critics alike. In the past...

Duff 08.06.12 1:21pm
Racists at Netherlands practice grateful for training opportunity.

“One of the best squad sessions we ever had.” claimed Euro 2012 racial abuse co-ordinator Jan Terleki at the close of the Netherlands training session. “The only thing it lacked was a dust up...

weematt 08.06.12 1:43pm
Ukraine claims UK ministers adopting "spolitics" tactics over Euro 2012

As UK government ministers ready themselves to boycott England's group games in the Euro 2012 football championships in Ukraine over the country's human rights record. Ukraine minisiters have...

simonjmr 08.06.12 12:10pm
UEFA gets tough on racism by sticking fingers in ears and going "la-la-la".

More firm measures soon...

seymour totti 08.06.12 9:47pm
Excitement as teenagers find unsecured wifi connection in local woods 0
gaijintendo 08.06.12 10:37am
John Terry closes in on European Father of the Year title

Fans of British parenting look like having something to celebrate as John Terry seeks to breakthrough to the next level and claim the European Father of the Year title. Terry, an ex-winner of British...

Yikes 08.06.12 10:35am
Remaining Bee Gee releases 'How deep is your Bruv?' 1
tedweasel 08.06.12 11:01am
Not Amused
Gary Barlow turns down lucrative offer to be resident singer on Dragon Capsule

A spokesperson for Space X, the commercial space exploration wing of India's Tata Motors, today confirmed that they had failed in their bid to obtain Gary Barlow's signature on a multi-million dollar...

rustad 08.06.12 9:09am
Medieval musician arrested for luting. More soon. 4
dominic_mcg 10.06.12 3:08am
'Cut and paste' Ofsted reports denied.

Ofsted have denied the use of “cut and paste“ in recent school inspection reports. Almost identical wording is present in two school inspection reports. In a statement released by Ofsted it said...

weematt 11.06.12 8:44am
newsbiscuit editorial team
Terry disappointed at Auschwitz theme park - but praises the short queues

'The queues were short, but the actual events were a bit disappointing, to be perfectly honest.' John Terry has given his verdict on his visit to Poland's biggest tourist attraction, the Auschwitz...

ronseal 08.06.12 11:27am
Des Custard
Ministers pretend to boycott Euro 2012 'to get out of games'

Government ministers have wriggled out of attending Euro 2012 by 'protesting' about Ukraine's jailing of former prime minister Yulia Tymoshenko, according to a secret recording of a Cabinet meeting....

V Riddoch 08.06.12 7:51am
Man paints lines on grass, dons boots and puts up nets for 'footballing reasons" 0
ronseal 08.06.12 7:14am
John Terry compares Auschwitz experience with winning the Champions League

After visiting Auschwitz today with other members of the England squad John Terry spoke of how it put his achievement of single handedly winning the Champions League into perspective. "Having...

A Wagonload Of Monkeys 09.06.12 9:15pm