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Nation breathes a collective sigh of relief. Elton, Cliff & Macca 'unavailable'

More soon [thankfully not from these three]...

1
dvo4fun 11.04.13 9:57pm
Squudge
Nelson Mandela imprisoned as Thatcher tribute

More to follow...

1
apepper 11.04.13 9:43pm
apepper
Hawks' welfare under review 0
Bourbon 11.04.13 8:34pm
Bourbon
A Team member Mr. Baracus says his Grandma prefers ships to air travel as well 0
charlies_hat 11.04.13 7:55pm
charlies_hat
Hawk-Eye technology to be used to police Korean border dispute 0
custard cream 11.04.13 7:42pm
custard cream
Latest England Rugby 'kaleidoscope' kit designed to hypotnise opponents

Check it out below: http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02533/kit_2533309b.jpg...

4
custard cream 11.04.13 7:38pm
custard cream
All good ideas taken claims frustrated screenwriter

An aspiring screenwriter today lamented that all good ideas have been used while criticizing past filmmaker’s selfishness for not leaving any for him. ‘It’s so frustrating to be watching...

0
Hooch 11.04.13 7:33pm
Hooch
Today is National Siblings Day or a day for an only child to feel a little bit m 0
Hooch 11.04.13 7:21pm
Hooch
Elderly Pimlico lady in state provided housing shocked by her bedroom tax bill 0
Smart Alex 11.04.13 6:51pm
Smart Alex
Kim Jong Un offers to nuke Finchley to stop it from becoming a shrine 0
sydalg 11.04.13 6:22pm
sydalg
Downton Abbey cast on standby as funeral extras in case of poor attendance 0
sydalg 11.04.13 6:09pm
sydalg
Thatcher hearse driver dreading directions from the back. More soon.

Right here, right here, right....

2
Al OPecia 11.04.13 6:06pm
Paddy Berzinski
G4S condemn North Korea after losing re-education camp contracts. 0
reforse 11.04.13 6:05pm
reforse
Wirdespread Tory distress as Thatcher fails to rise on the Third Day

Senior party figures and Daily Mail and Telegraph have been showing distinct unease in the face of her unaccountable failure to reappear as predicted...

0
Tom55 11.04.13 5:37pm
Tom55
Hawk-Eye technology to be used at Thatcher funeral to increase crowd involvement 0
custard cream 11.04.13 5:17pm
custard cream
Nana Mouskouri to bake world's largest moussaka to cheer up Greek nation 0
custard cream 11.04.13 5:07pm
custard cream
Oh shit, says Prince Philip, as 1980s female icon found dead after leaving Ritz

More soon. Trust me on this...

0
Oxbridge 11.04.13 5:02pm
Oxbridge
South Korea to use new PSY single as deterrent to North Korea nuclear threat 0
custard cream 11.04.13 4:57pm
custard cream
Reading to install goal-line technology in the home goal only

Reading FC are to install goal-line technology - but only in their own goal. Their manager, 'Sad Dave' Crosby, said: 'It will be a waste of money putting anything to do with the ball in the...

1
John Wiltshire 11.04.13 4:31pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Missing Greek billions found underneath Demis Roussos. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 11.04.13 4:20pm
Al OPecia
French President infuriated with his best mate, who was looking after his wife. 0
Al OPecia 11.04.13 4:16pm
Al OPecia
Thatcher Funeral Guest-list Leaked 3
JoeBradley 11.04.13 4:04pm
JoeBradley
UK Civil Aviation Authority condemns "Fit For Work" pilot scheme.

The new government pilot scheme aimed at getting the long term sick or injured back into suitable work has be heavily criticised by several major organisations in the aviation industry. A...

1
Baldiebaldo 11.04.13 3:58pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Nick Clegg ‘I am coming round on Thatcherism.’

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg, last night shocked the country when he said he was beginning to agree on much of what Thatcher did in her time in Downing Street., In the past Mr. Clegg, a...

0
Hooch 11.04.13 3:20pm
Hooch
Danny Boyle to create Thatcher closing event

Danny Boyle announced last night he was “enthusiastic” about the honour of marking Mrs Thatcher’s passing in Horseguards Parade. And Mrs Thatcher would approve of some of his cost-saving...

16
nickb 11.04.13 3:00pm
Tripod
Disappointed lovers to use goal line technology to judge if its in or out 0
irreverendJ 11.04.13 2:59pm
irreverendJ
Chart won't count 'Wicked witch' downloads by those born after Thatcher in power

Currently number 42,000 in the charts...

0
MADJEZ 11.04.13 2:11pm
MADJEZ
'General Belgrano' to be re-floated and sunk again in tribute to Mrs. Thatcher. 0
sigmund 11.04.13 1:36pm
sigmund
Thatcher statue in Trafalgar Square: 'Yes!' say pigeons 0
Oxbridge 11.04.13 1:34pm
Oxbridge
M C Hammer under arrest for constantly telling people off 1
custard cream 11.04.13 1:30pm
Smart Alex