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Army to enlist primary school children as shock troops 0
FraserWords 3 years

Primary school children are to be enlisted in the British Army in a bold new initiative to stave off the effects of cutbacks at the Ministry of Defence., The children will be encouraged to run...

Johann Hari stole my idea of plagiarism, says top Sunday Express columnist 1
ronseal 3 years
Experts baffled by sudden appearance of workshy scroungers 3
FraserWords 3 years

Medical experts pronounced themselves baffled as hundreds of thousands of ‘ordinary working family people’ woke up this morning to discover they had turned into ‘useless workshy scroungers’...

Cameron: “Strikers will nick your car and shag your granny” 15
FraserWords 3 years

More abuse of 'ordinary striking people' soon...

Pensions Rally cancelled as old timers forget where they parked their cars 0
Mr Payne 3 years
Geeks remember where they were the day the iPhone was released 0
roybland 3 years

In the week of the fourth anniversary of the launch of the first iPhone in the US, Apple enthusiast Jon Ronsome remembers where he was on the day he bought his IPhone.,  , 'Hell, I was in this...

Stating the Bleedin’ Obvious no longer considered “Spooky” 1
Blindcwm 3 years

For some months an e-mail has been doing the rounds, which describes as “spooky” the statement that for anyone born in the 20th century, adding the year of your birth minus 1900 to the age you...

“Re-e'tailing” revolution proposed. 2
beau-jolly 3 years

A new think-tank has been established to find a solution to the problems caused by Internet shopping. As more and more people buy on-line and have their groceries delivered, previously quiet...

Ridley Scott directs "Black Horse Down," the story of Lloyds 15000 job-losses! 0
Iamthestig 3 years
95.5% of men prefer showing genitalia on cam than visiting own GP 4
Dick Everyman 3 years

In a study released today by the British Medical Council it has been found that 95.5% of men aged between 16 and 75 would prefer to expose their genitalia via web-cam than visit their GP. The...

Fury as nursery plants children in neat rows 1
3 years
Shellfish people more likely to catch crabs says the Lancet... 0
Iamthestig 3 years
‘The Second Coming’ - a Chocolate Revelation for Thortons 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

A dairy farmer in Shropshire was in close talks with Church leaders last night following an annunciation allegedly made to him as he was milking his herd of Fresians. The figure of the Virgin Mary...

Greek tradition of plate smashing to be replaced by parliament smashing 0
Basil_B 3 years

The ancient greek custom of plate smashing is to be brought up to date by being replaced by a new greek custom called parliament building smashing. 'We thought recent events in our country were...

Ken Clarke to advise South Africa on 'different kinds of corrective rape' 3
cinquecento 3 years
Bombshell as court rules Greek bail-out can only last 96 hours 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Archaic Japanese tea ceremony to be revitalised with kettling and teabagging 0
pere floza 3 years
Eating may be clue to obesity epidemic 0
beau-jolly 3 years

Eating bucket loads of greasy food may be the reason that Americans are becoming so obscenely obese new research suggests., A team from the University of North Carolina’s department of the...

Kettling to be used at Olympic opening ceremony 0
simonjmr 3 years
Grenades considered harmful, says report 0
Dick Justice 3 years

MOSUL, IRAQ: In a monthly report generated by the 13th Sustainment Command, Assistant Chief Henry Webbers admitted that, after careful consideration of observed facts, as well as the ongoing...

stray animals to be 'used to feed the poor and homeless' 2
Leeboy007 3 years

In a somewhat shocking statement made earlier today, the RSPCA today revealed plans for stray animals to be rounded up and used to feed the poor and homeless. A leading voice at the organisation, who...

Government defence cuts bite deep - Barmy Army to do tour of Afghanistan in 2012 0
ItsReevesy 3 years
Hollywood remake of chimps tea adverts to get a PG rating 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Doctors warn of dangers of telling corny jokes to people with wheat intolerance 0
Ian Searle 3 years
University vice-chancellors call for Government to face more competition 1
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Schools minister David Willetts has criticised plans by university vice-chancellors to encourage more competition in the government by getting everybody to vote for other parties. ‘No, I think you...

Wimbledon Update 2
Tom55 3 years

Nadal batters Fish...

UK scientists confirm George Osborne "completely devoid of compassion" 0
simonjmr 3 years

UK scientist have today unveiled that OsborneGCoEx2010-2011 is believed to be only the second known case of a massive emotional and compassionate black hole. It's nearly thiry years since the last...

Pubs delighted with successful teachers' strike 0
3 years

Workers in the publican sector were given a welcome boost today, following a nation-wide teachers' strike. The 'day before payday' is normally a quiet time for the industry, but some landlords...

flying pickets appear at NUT strike lines in London 0
Leeboy007 3 years

singing their hit 'Only You' ( anyone remember that? )...

Touring caravan drivers voted 'most popular road users' 13
Dick Everyman 3 years

With the summer holidays looming touring caravans are now on their starting blocks in readiness to hit the highways and byways of Britain. Now, in an annual survey conducted by the AA to ascertain...