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National Lottery Tombola game announced

The govenrment intends on getting rid of unwanted gifts, and raise funds with a new tempting format alongside Saturday National Lottery, EuroMillions, Millionaire Raffle, Thunderball and HotPicks...

gaijintendo 07.05.13 12:33pm
. 1
Gary Stanton 07.05.13 12:25pm
Science proves that nothing is cooler than Bill Hicks.

Physicists have now confirmed what many people have long suspected - that nothing in existence is cooler than Bill Hicks. The legendary black-clad comedian, best-known for his acerbic diatribes...

sredni vashta 07.05.13 12:13pm
sredni vashta
New NHS 000 sex therapy help line. Dial oh.... ohhh...... ohhhhh

hat tip to johnnydobbo...

weematt 07.05.13 11:33am
Man who said he wasn't being funny or nuffink lives up to his promise 0
ronseal 07.05.13 11:32am
Tarbuck Arrest, Proof-Positive That Government Bent On Undermining......

comic industry?...

Jesse Bigg 07.05.13 10:52am
MOT to use string theory to relieve congestion on the M25

The Ministry of Transport is to use string theory to relieve congestion on the M25 orbital motorway. According to an official, the small number of dimensions available in classical physics is a...

LensCap 07.05.13 10:49am
Cameron's Big Idea?

Stronger knicker elastic, to keep UKIP at bay?...

Jesse Bigg 07.05.13 10:47am
Jesse Bigg
Ronnie O'Sullivan works out link between playing snooker and receiving money

Following his win at the Snooker World Championship, Ronnie O'Sullivan announced that he has realised that there is a connection between playing snooker and receiving money. 'I think I've got it...

John Wiltshire 07.05.13 9:53am
John Wiltshire
Welshman celebrates £10 windfall after unlikely 1p bet on Welsh teams happens 0
simonjmr 07.05.13 8:32am
Tarby to be rebranded as Tawdry 0
Scronnyglonkle 07.05.13 7:05am
Crimewatch UK 'forced to reflect falling crime rates in its reconstructions'

Official figures showing crime at its lowest rate in 30 years have opened up the BBC to yet more criticism of bias in the reconstructions it uses on its monthly Crimewatch UK television programme. A...

Tristan Shout 07.05.13 6:51am
Tristan Shout
OBE to become new tagging system for sex offenders 0
Wrenfoe 07.05.13 5:29am
Ugly scenes as 1970s confronted by vigilante mob. 1
sredni vashta 06.05.13 11:20pm
sredni vashta
Child gains concept of death

Katie Davies, a three year old, today became aware that one day she would die and cease to exist. The news that her life was an inconsequential blip in the history of the universe came as a shock to...

Hooch 06.05.13 11:14pm
sredni vashta
Two dimensional movie characters demand ban on printed guns. 0
Maverick 06.05.13 9:35pm
"Policies? Who Needs Policies?" Says Farage

"Policices are a disaster" said UKIP leader Nigel Farage. "The Conservatives have policies and everyone hates them because no-one likes their policies. The Liberal Democrats have policies but there...

Titus 06.05.13 8:26pm
"He was OK until we turned his head the right way round" says Kriss Kross doctor 0
Maverick 06.05.13 8:18pm
Queen puts an end to queer(s) bashing

Handbags and snares at dawn...

victimms 06.05.13 7:53pm
Centaur asked “Are you a man or a moose?”... 4
Tripod 06.05.13 5:52pm
sredni vashta
Breaking news: well known figure not under any suspicion of rape 1
topfotogmw 06.05.13 5:01pm
World's first 3D printed gun misfires when ink clogs barrel. 3
weematt 06.05.13 2:03pm
Al OPecia
Operation Yewtree Detectives apologise.

After a nationwide search, there are as yet no accusations against Philip Shofield. Police say it is unlikely any victims remember who the annoying silver haired cunt was. However, one suspected...

brd888 06.05.13 1:04pm
Tories ‘a bunch of cream puffs’ says Farage

UKIP leader Nigel Farage today responded savagely to Tory accusations of UKIP members being ‘fruit cakes’ by labelling them ‘a bunch of dithering cream puffs and donuts’. “Lord Snooty...

Reg Herring 06.05.13 9:40am
Lenny Bee
Newport win celebrated by 'area the size of Wales'. More soon. 2
deskpilot3 06.05.13 7:20am
Clegg latest: “Go back to your constituencies and pray for a miracle” 9
Lenny Bee 05.05.13 7:53pm
Nigel Evans denies appearing on the BBC

Deputy House of Commons Speaker Nigel Evans has denied ever appearing "on" or "in" the BBC, after being arrested on suspicion of having connections with Broadcasting House Founded in 1922, as the...

Wrenfoe 05.05.13 6:49pm
Man upset that watch guaranteed waterproof to 100m failed at local swimming pool

then realises that he had swum 200m...

Smart Alex 05.05.13 6:43pm
Smart Alex
Conservatives won't change course, says lemming

(more later)...

Wrenfoe 05.05.13 5:48pm
PFA plays safe for next year's dinner with political satirist Holocaust D Nile 0
ronseal 05.05.13 5:37pm