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Vince Cable to be made whip. 0
guffaw 3 years
Greece 'almost ready' with USA bail-out plan 0
rickwestwell 3 years
Title hope chokes in limerick world final with failure to rhyme Nantucket 2
FraserWords 3 years

Britain’s world limerick-writing title hope Liam McSweeney was this morning being comforted by family and close friends after sensationally choking in the dying seconds of the championship final...

Ofgem to reduce £2.5m British Gas fine 'as long as they pay by Direct Debit' 1
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Painting and decorating world mourns loss of UK’s greatest painter and decorator 18
Gary Stanton 3 years

The world of painting and decorating was last night mourning the loss of one of the country's most distinguished and highly regarded painters and decorators by some distance, according to reports....

Pearly Gates nicked in spate of celestial metal thefts 2
Dick Everyman 3 years

Security chiefs at the gateway to heaven announced the theft of the Pearly Gates late last night fearing that they may already be sold and melted down for scrap. The wrought-iron gates disappeared...

Osborne responds to 'disappointing' 0.2% growth figures. 2
dvo4fun 3 years

Oops! Butterfingers.More later...

Cougar road death leads to sponsorship payout row 0
pere floza 3 years

A plucky mountain lion had completed 1800 miles of a sponsored walk from South Dakota to New York City before being tragically killed by a car 50 miles short of his destination, where a grand ticker...

Hitler Youth Movement denounces Glenn Beck as right-wing nut-job. 0
be reasonable 3 years
Arnold Schwarzenegger's plan to repace fat twin with sporty twin fails 0
guffaw 3 years

as Schriver springs him early...

Nicky Campbell disappoints listeners with flawless Jeremy Hunt interview 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

But in later interview with Nick Griffin he uses the C word 11 times...

Jack and Jill taken into care after "falling down the hill" excuse doesn't wash 2
thackaray 3 years
Obama pins hopes on PPI compensation claim. 0
Corrigan 3 years

As the American debt crisis deepens, Barack Obama has revealed his latest attempt to meet national debt interest payments: White House lawyers are said to be working around the clock to lodge a...

"Actually" says Fate, my finger is very focussed 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Age Concern launch their Winter campaign and urge the UK to “Wall up OAPs” 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

“We have seen Winter fuel bills increase, deaths on icy roads spiral and more and more pensioners clogging hospital casualty wards, so walling up the old folks is the only answer. No more housing...

Two active geysers discovered in Yosodomite National Park 18
Dick Everyman 3 years
North London crematorium explodes. 0
be reasonable 3 years
Google + to include a new Circle of Hell option 0
ronseal 3 years
Nick Griffin re-elected as BNP leader by ‘crushing’ nine-vote margin 0
Christopher Frost 3 years

British National Party members have given Nick Griffin an overwhelming mandate after re-electing him as leader by the crushing margin of nine votes. His humiliated opponent Andrew Brons managed a...

Maternity wards to be adopted by wolves 16
3 years

The NHS has welcomed an agreement to hand maternity care to the wolves. Long recognised as the ideal animal for raising children, the successful bid was supported by references from Mowgli and a...

Commuter deodorant Crisis 0
Wellsonian 3 years

As all major labels continue to push "Lasts 48 hours or Longer" Anti Perspirant/Deodorants experienced Commuters commented. "Dear god please no!" . Interviewed one Stephen Giles of Surrey said "Its...

Dull hosts fake 'edgy' parties by hiring 'Strop-A-Grams' 3
3 years

A new service is being offered to the socially inadequate, so they can pretend to live life in the fast lane. For a price, a 'strop-A-gram' will turn up to your party and make it an event no-one can...

Hamilton "I'm Quitting" stuns motor racing fans 6
dvo4fun 3 years

Acknowledging that "I have just been wasting my life" 26 year old Lewis Hamilton, Formula 1 World Champion in 2008, revealed this morning his immediate retirement from the sport. His McLaren car...

Criticism For Zoo Autopsy Plan 0
Drylaw 3 years

Edinburgh Zoo has announced plans to carry out a post mortem on a large mammal before a live audience in August. Zoo bosses emphasised that it was part of their remit to educate as well as entertain...

Altruism Alert Raised to 'Severe' as Londoner Acknowledges Fellow Man 7
f0zz 3 years

Central London was brought to a standstill last night after an explosion of politeness ripped through the city. The spontaneous outburst of avuncularity was attributed to Martin Kimble, 27, a graphic...

Good day to bury "Bad News" is correct due to lovely weather 0
thackaray 3 years

Today, was hailed by the vicar, as a good day to bury Bad News since the weather forecasters had predicted rain and gales but it instead turned out sunny and pleasant for the mourners. Mr Bad News,...

Retail sales fell in may. Government blame good/bad weather 1
virtuallywill 3 years

select as appropriate...

Ryanair buy Space Shuttle fleet and Kennedy Space Centre for Disneyland holidays 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Justin Bieber To Quit Music Over Lack Of Critical Recognition 0
Textbook 3 years

Justin Bieber may have millions of adoring teenage fans and indeed the millions of dollars spent by those millions of fans. His face is on computer screens, TV screens, best-selling CDs, a popular...

Scientists create human-ape hybrid. Rooney sues for copyright breach. 2
Son of Barnabas 3 years

http://businessblogs.co.nz/files/2010/04/angry_gorilla.jpghttp://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/wayne_rooney_the_associated_press.jpg...