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Lord Sugar will 'beat the daylights' out of anyone accusing him of bullying

After a former Apprentice winner lost her court case against for constructive dismissal, a jubilant Lord Sugar said 'I knew the stupid little cow was gonna lose. When she told me about the case I got...

0
John Wiltshire 12.04.13 3:00pm
John Wiltshire
Ding Dong, we got the wrong song. Munchkin music hate-fest mixes East with West

Red faced Media Munchkins are to hold an inquiry after playing the wrong song at their organised hate festival. As Marxist misanthropes and mockney misogynists put on an exhibition of all the worst...

0
ronseal 12.04.13 2:11pm
ronseal
Don't do a Thatcher, Operation Yewtree warns suspects

Officers on the Yewtree investigation are keeping a close watch on those under suspicion lest they use the fuss over the former PM's death to slip unnoticed off the mortal coil themselves. Detective...

1
sydalg 12.04.13 1:57pm
Titus
Real reason behind Kim Jong-un’s bellicose bravado revealed

US and UK intelligence agencies today released humiliating transcripts of intercepted communications showing the real reason behind the North Korean leader’s recent bellicose bravado. Kim Jong-un,...

1
Reg Herring 12.04.13 1:54pm
Titus
Cheeky bone marrow thief "just taking the pith" 0
sydalg 12.04.13 1:49pm
sydalg
Dog Stuck in Pipe For Four Days Still Manages to Crap On Neighbour's Lawn 2
sredni vashta 12.04.13 1:30pm
sigmund
Oscar Pistorius selected to lead gun salute at Thatcher funeral 0
custard cream 12.04.13 1:29pm
custard cream
Court rules Stella's not sweet enough with Sugar...a storm in a Tea cup 0
irreverendJ 12.04.13 1:19pm
irreverendJ
Thatcher to be buried not cremated - the lady's not for burning 3
ianslat 12.04.13 1:17pm
ianslat
Funeral latest - spit roast off the menu. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 12.04.13 12:45pm
Al OPecia
Sellafield refuses to dispose of Thatcher's ashes for safety reasons. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 12.04.13 10:50am
dominic_mcg
Gurn control faces change

Controversy is raging in the gurning world over the kinds of gurns that should be allowed and which should be banned. The rules of gurning, which started out as speed dating for ugly people, were...

3
Not Amused 12.04.13 10:22am
Not Amused
"Harvest the dead" proclaims stoned Dutchman.

Only in Holland would it be socially acceptable to exhume the dead from their place of rest & harvest them for their metal prosthetic body parts, to be recycled into anything from an aircraft...

1
Teak Weasel 12.04.13 10:17am
Oxbridge
Martin McGuinness to arrange 21 gun salute at Lady Thatcher's funeral 0
Sinnick 12.04.13 9:28am
Sinnick
Thatcher Critics Admit "Of Course We're Protesting Now ...

we wouldn't have dared to do so while she was still alive."...

0
Titus 12.04.13 8:56am
Titus
Thatcher reserves to "last for decades".

Experts predict that Margaret Thatcher's influence over the media will last for at least two more decades. Many feared that the recent demise of the former PM would result in "Peak Thatcher" a...

1
sredni vashta 12.04.13 8:11am
Squudge
Ritz Hotel to be demolished 'to prevent it becoming a shrine'

More soon It's a Ritz cracker! Heh heh!...

5
Oxbridge 12.04.13 8:10am
Squudge
Immigrant disguised as banana slips through UK border controls 0
Dick Everyman 12.04.13 7:04am
Dick Everyman
Suppliers of Korean Pasties Insist That They're The Dog's Bollocks. 0
sredni vashta 12.04.13 2:23am
sredni vashta
Nissan recalls thousands of cars after discovery of traces of horsepower 2
exigo 12.04.13 12:37am
sredni vashta
Chris Huhne Announces "On Principle" He Will Not Be Attending Thatcher Funeral 1
Titus 11.04.13 10:32pm
Dick Everyman
China Embarassed As Its Child Throws Tantrum In Supermarket 0
Titus 11.04.13 10:27pm
Titus
Heaven's latest arrival puts St Peter on 3 day week 6
Dick Everyman 11.04.13 10:23pm
reforse
Tickets for Thatcher Funeral Sell Out Immediately

Fans decide to buy tickets for Rolling Stones Hyde Park concert as a quieter, more relaxing alternative instead...

0
Titus 11.04.13 10:01pm
Titus
Nation breathes a collective sigh of relief. Elton, Cliff & Macca 'unavailable'

More soon [thankfully not from these three]...

1
dvo4fun 11.04.13 9:57pm
Squudge
Nelson Mandela imprisoned as Thatcher tribute

More to follow...

1
apepper 11.04.13 9:43pm
apepper
Hawks' welfare under review 0
Bourbon 11.04.13 8:34pm
Bourbon
A Team member Mr. Baracus says his Grandma prefers ships to air travel as well 0
charlies_hat 11.04.13 7:55pm
charlies_hat
Hawk-Eye technology to be used to police Korean border dispute 0
custard cream 11.04.13 7:42pm
custard cream
Latest England Rugby 'kaleidoscope' kit designed to hypotnise opponents

Check it out below: http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02533/kit_2533309b.jpg...

4
custard cream 11.04.13 7:38pm
custard cream