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'Brief History of Time' voted most bought, and least read, book of 20th century. 9
Doylem 3 years
Commuter outrage as terrorist attempts to blow himself up on Quiet Carriage 8
Ludicity 3 years

A suicide bomber has been condemned by rail passengers for attempting to blow himself up in a carriage clearly designated as a ‘Quiet Zone’. The incident, which took place on the 17:42 from...

Dollar devaluation hurts dollar stores nationwide 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Louisiana skies rain dead birds. 0
Trickster 3 years

Cats and Dogs due tomorrow...

Cameron and Clegg not happy about being called a pair of 'C's. 3
Trickster 3 years
Writers’ Room 2.5% wider in 'loose interpretation' of new VAT rate. 0
malgor 3 years
New Facebook profile allows more accidental clicks of ads 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Reardon snookered as strangling gloves inside pizza box are found in his gaff. 6
Malcum eggs 3 years
‘Crazed loner community’ not as homogeneous as first thought... 2
Doylem 3 years
Police release new photos of Royal attackers 3
antharrison 3 years

The Metropolitan Police has revealed a new set of grainy images of people it wishes to interview in relation to the pre-Christmas attack on the car transporting Prince Charles and The Duchess of...

BT to launch “toilet wall” telephone directory 0
SparkyJim 3 years

Facing increasing competition from Google and social media platforms, the division tasked with distributing the ever more obsolete telephone directory for BT, has today hit back by launching a much...

Yorkshire earthquake "was caused by Prescott's pie prediliction" 0
Matt T 3 years

The earthquake which hit northern England at 9pm last night has been blamed on John Prescott who fell off a ladder whilst reaching for some pies, sending shockwaves through Skipton. The former MP...

As America is found not to be the fattest place on earth, Dominos and Pizza hut 0
Malcum eggs 3 years

expecting busy day...

This is one I pulled off earlier... 3
the coarse whisperer 3 years

This could get messy...

Pickles swells overnight in FAT rise 3
immac 3 years

Eric Pickles, the Secretary for Consumeties and Personal Nourishment, has increased by two-and-a-half per cent overnight in the controversial FAT rise. Already 27 stones, Mr Pickles soared to an...

Bob Holness to recreate his Baker Street sax solo at Gerry Rafferty’s funeral... 0
Doylem 3 years
Sorry guys, I had to pull this one too... 4
Trickster 3 years

Got offered a million squid for it. And as I love seafood...

Horse racing to abandon archaic ‘first past the post’ system... 1
Doylem 3 years
Surgeon who removed leg confirms star is actually 97, not 94 as previously thoug 1
Gerontius 3 years

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Spielberg denies responsibility for copy-cat Great White attack on fishermen 1
Ian Searle 3 years

In other news, a University Professor thinks he may have discovered the final resting place of the Arc of the Covenant, and huge planet sized space craft looks set to destroy the world...

Another sub pulled when Hollywood came calling... 3
Doylem 3 years

I just got a call from Hollywood. They want to make my sub into a film. They’re going to change the location, from rural Cumbria to LA, and it looks like Nicholas Cage will be taking the lead,...

The other site thought this sub was shite, so I'm trying it out here. 4
bonjonelson 3 years

I'll delete it if they change their mind. Ta!...

Glen McGrath 'still confident of 5-0 ashes victory' 3
pudseypumper 3 years

Former Australian pace bowler, Glen McGrath yesterday stated that despite Australia's two defeats so far in the 2010/11 Ashes series he remained confident of a 5-0 whitewash 'as usual'. Horse faced...

Robinho bid “puts Blackburn on map”... 0
Doylem 3 years

Unfortunately, it’s a map of crap Northern towns...

Accountants now 50% more efficient after change from 17.5% VAT to 20% VAT 0
bonjonelson 3 years

Also, calculator keyboards to last longer...

Sir Alex Ferguson to retire his trusty piece of gum in the new year 4
simonjmr 3 years

The frugal Premiership manager has finally called time on the piece of gum he has constantly chewed for the entire time he has been the manager of Man Utd. The gum in question is thought to be three...

Shock as Ferguson puts trusty gum on Transfer List. 4
simonjmr 3 years

Sir Alex Ferguson the frugal Scottish Premiership manager has finally called time on the piece of gum he has constantly chewed at football matches for the last 25 years., The gum in question is...

Gabor leg 'relieved' to have lost 140lbs of excess flab 0
pinxit 3 years

more more soon...

Government 'disappointed' at eclipse's failure to cover up VAT rise 0
immac 3 years
Coalition’s axe falls on chicken 1
Fred 3 years

Communities will be devastated as thousands of fried chicken outlets across Britain are axed in the latest wave of government cuts, campaigners have warned., David Cameron is to shut Dixie,...