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MoD to counter friendly fire problem with issue of hi-viz camouflage 3
AdrianJ 16.04.13 6:32am
Big Beasts of Tory Party ‘dangerously close to extinction’

The death of the last surviving Thatcher, once considered the most fearsome of all the big Tory Beasts has put renewed focus on the dwindling numbers of Tories who once roamed freely through the...

TheNewsWalrus 16.04.13 6:19am
First users to comment on Boston bomb story hailed as heros 0
Dumbnews 16.04.13 4:19am
Snickers extremists blamed for bomb attack. 0
sredni vashta 16.04.13 12:10am
sredni vashta
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a bomb is a good guy with a bomb 0
Hooch 15.04.13 11:01pm
Anne Frank confirmed to be Austin Mahone fan 0
Hooch 15.04.13 10:59pm
"Cautiously optimistic" lawyers welcome Boston attacks

Senior partners at Tweed Malone, the solicitors who represent the acclaimed writer and director, Chris Morris, were today reported to have booked a number of expensive holidays over the next year in...

jamsieoconnor 15.04.13 10:55pm
Swiss-educated Kim Jong-Un yodels "It's waaaaaaaar!!!" 0
sydalg 15.04.13 10:41pm
Concern Over Increase In Puppy Farming In Afghanistan

A report from our slightly deaf correspondent...

Titus 15.04.13 9:41pm
UN urges Afghan farmers to start Methadone production 0
dvo4fun 15.04.13 9:29pm
The future is bright; the future is Hi Viz orange.

After research by the European Institute of Transportation and the Bleeding Obvious in Brussels revealed drivers were five times more likely to be involved in a serious accident if their car was...

godly1966 15.04.13 9:25pm
Millwall FC to segregate home fans

Following the successful segregation of home and away fans, which has prevented trouble at football matches for a number of years; Millwall FC has today announced, in response to the violence at...

LensCap 15.04.13 9:19pm
Meryl Streep to play Thatcher on Wednesday

The world of entertainment is a-fire tonight with the rumours that Meryl Streep is tipped to star in her most challenging role yet, in an epic £10M production with a cast of thousands. The audience...

Squudge 15.04.13 9:03pm
Big Ben should strike during Thatcher funeral, says union leader. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 15.04.13 8:07pm
Deranged megolmaniac John Sweeney disappointed with 'decadent' North Korea 0
custard cream 15.04.13 7:55pm
custard cream
University English Department Bans Use Of the Word "Fantastic"

"Whenever a student uses the word 'fantastic' to describe anything it is clear that they have switched their brain off and are simply writing on autopilot to fill a word-count" said a spokesman for...

Titus 15.04.13 7:52pm
Cameron to silence Big Ben by strapping Farage to clanger. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 15.04.13 7:31pm
Several injured in Paula Radcliffe toilet malfunction. 0
reforse 15.04.13 7:30pm
David Cameron announces: Gordon Brown is still alive!

Unlike most of his policies, boom boom! I mean boom and bust! Oh wait, there is no more boom and bust...

brd888 15.04.13 7:28pm
Cameron : I Meant an ACTUAL 'Benefits Cap' - So We Can Spot Oiks At A Distance

PM David Cameron has outlined his plans for welfare recipients to wear special headgear "Like that funny chap in the Daily Mirror", so that hard-working families would know who to blame. "Look, I...

deceangli 15.04.13 7:06pm
Flatulent diver comes up, trumps

More to follow...

apepper 15.04.13 7:04pm
Confusion after Chris Hoy announces he has to re-tire due to a puncture 0
Adam Lewis 15.04.13 6:53pm
Adam Lewis
After ding dong sing song; Big Ben bing bong gone!

More Sun headlines to follow...

apepper 15.04.13 6:19pm
Resealable cheese bag thwarts East End villain

One of Britian’s leading safe crackers has failed in his bid to become the first man in the UK to open the seal on a slab of cheese without resorting to violence., Top villain Freddie...

Gerontius 15.04.13 6:14pm
Lab kidney popular with all steakholders 1
Backup Brian 15.04.13 5:59pm
Anne Frank's favourite group was Living in a Box...oh no sorry that's her hobby 2
irreverendJ 15.04.13 5:53pm
Backup Brian
Convertible Day may not occur till May this year

Meteorologists and motoring organisations have agreed that, despite hopes, Convertible Day did not occur over the past weekend and may not happen for weeks to come. Convertible Day is the one day a...

Des Custard 15.04.13 5:40pm
Slante Dangle
Thatcher Funeral Privatised

Arrangements for the funeral of Baroness Thatcher have been opened up to competitive tender under new government procurement rules and the contract has gone to ‘[i]Brass Neck[/i]’ – a...

Tom Perdue 15.04.13 5:38pm
Slante Dangle
Speaker Bercow Arranges For His Wife To Be Silenced During Thatcher Funeral

Titus 15.04.13 5:32pm
Lab grown kidney starts taking the piss... 0
brd888 15.04.13 5:22pm