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Young Antarctic explorer "would have preferred Thorpe Park " for birthday treat 0
Bigglesworth 18.01.14 11:52pm
Bigglesworth
UKIP Sued for Intellectual Property Theft by Two Ronnie's Scriptwriter

Homosexuality related extreme weather policy stole from 70's Urals, Trossachs and golden shower jokes, claims BBC. More soon...

1
John Roughty 18.01.14 11:48pm
Kevin the Swan
Environment Agency to issue 'Splash' guidebook

The Environment Agency and a committee representing leading property insurance providers have responded to the recent crisis by producing a booklet explaining where not to buy a house. A government...

9
Squudge 18.01.14 11:44pm
Kevin the Swan
Mass redundancies announced among libel lawyers. Industry decimated. 1
MADJEZ 18.01.14 10:48pm
Titus
Gay "Marriage" Responsible For England's Ashes Defeat

Well, it seems to have caused every other recent disaster...

0
Titus 18.01.14 10:42pm
Titus
Southern Shandy Awarded Protected Status

There was delight on the streets of Reading, Maidenhead, Gillingham and London today as the region celebrated Southern Shandy being awarded protected food name status in the latest EU announcements.,...

9
james_doc 18.01.14 9:57pm
Jesse Bigg
Nigel Farrage seen banging head against lampost in Henley.

Word of the lord plus sports and weather at 1...

0
blokefromstoke 18.01.14 9:47pm
blokefromstoke
Arizona teenager single-handedly unicycles to the South Pole

“I just like penguins, especially when they fall over and get up again” said the teenager, who unicycled from Phoenix, Arizona. I don’t know if my mom and dad will be proud of me cos sadly they...

0
farmer giles 18.01.14 9:22pm
farmer giles
Captain "Buster" Jargon RN admits bumping subs with gay abandon ........

. following flooding caused by a grand easement in two blocked loop holes. Not much more soon...

0
BewsNiscuit 18.01.14 8:50pm
BewsNiscuit
Google unveils smart contact lenses to combat obesity.

Google has proudly claimed that it is testing a "smart contact lens" that will help the morbidly obese to lose weight. The lens contains a microchip which projects the image of a curly, ginger pube...

1
dominic_mcg 18.01.14 8:06pm
Tripod
Increase in flooding in last decade "correlates to rise of UKIP" say scientists 0
Ref Minor 18.01.14 8:05pm
Ref Minor
Gay wedding showers to blame for floods 0
Bigglesworth 18.01.14 7:30pm
Bigglesworth
'Floods to blame' for gay marriage 0
needabettergig 18.01.14 7:23pm
needabettergig
Gay marriage to blame for UK's Eurovision ranking

UKIP Councillor David Silvester has spoken out about David Cameron's legalisation of gay marriage, attributing it to Bonnie Tyler's unfavourable placing as 19th at last year's Eurovision Song Contest...

0
David K 18.01.14 6:21pm
David K
UKIP councillor says something uncontroversial 0
Plot126 18.01.14 5:28pm
Plot126
McAlpine joins the cherubic choir. 1
Ref Minor 18.01.14 4:24pm
Wrenfoe
Sepp Blatter tipped to replace Bernie Eccleston in F1 shake up 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.01.14 3:39pm
Scronnyglonkle
Man blames 'Lynx effect' for self-fellatio injury

A 38-year-old Kent man is recovering in hospital today after dislocating his spine in an incident which he claims was caused by the 'Lynx effect'. The man, known only as Peter, was rushed to...

4
Robopop 18.01.14 1:38pm
FOAD
McAlpine fakes own death to trick people into tweeting.

More legal fees soon...

1
MADJEZ 18.01.14 1:16pm
Wrenfoe
Creepy Colleague Hanging Around Reception, Probably Waiting to Talk to You

Despite being past 5.30pm, leaving time for employees of Hartman & Felix Insurance Brokers of Holbeach, Lincolnshire, a socially incompetent member of staff is loitering in the foyer, possibly...

0
Teenwolf 18.01.14 12:58pm
Teenwolf
Government sacks police and saves money getting mystery writers to solve crime 0
Ian Searle 18.01.14 11:53am
Ian Searle
Twitter literally explodes due to massive trend of the word 'paedo'

Much much more soon...

0
MADJEZ 18.01.14 11:23am
MADJEZ
Vatican Confirms 'Defrocking' of 400 Priests

Vatican officials confirmed, under heavy scrutiny at the United Nations Sub Commitee on Cross Dressing held in Geneva this week, that almost 400 priests had their dresses, blouses and other items of...

0
John Roughty 18.01.14 9:09am
John Roughty
Swiss cheese prevert who came out as gay now prefers cottage cheese 0
irreverendJ 18.01.14 8:30am
irreverendJ
Gaga asks Putin "Ever loved a Russian queen?" 0
Dick Everyman 18.01.14 7:35am
Dick Everyman
Bank of Toyland 'to be sold off'.

The Bank of Toyland should be made to sell off its one and only branch, claims a self-employed taxi driver who goes under the name of Noddy. The news will come as a welcome boost to Labour leader Ed...

0
Boutros 18.01.14 12:21am
Boutros
Worlds oldest pornography stash found.

Archaeologists carrying out a routine survey of a cave system in the Dordogne have been stunned by a find that pushes the recorded history of onanism back to over 90,000 years ago. Examining a...

4
FlashArry 17.01.14 10:47pm
Dick Everyman
Fridge really takes the bacon by sending spam e mails 0
irreverendJ 17.01.14 10:24pm
irreverendJ
US Government to face Health and Safety charges over Hiroshima 0
Squudge 17.01.14 8:32pm
Squudge
Quantun Uncertainty Resolved By Substituting a Parrot For Schrödinger’s Cat

Python team awarded Nobel prize for physics...

0
Titus 17.01.14 7:57pm
Titus