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EU and NATO warn Russia they must not advance into Ukraine while anyone looks.

The EU and NATO have issued a joint statement this morning reminding Russia of it's international obligations in that it's clearly against international rules to move armed forces into another...

bonjonelson 06.03.14 2:03pm
Man guilty of sex with a dog placed on Crufts risk register 0
custard cream 06.03.14 1:24pm
custard cream
International Rescue announces Thunderbird 3 is to be dropped from the service

Speaking earlier from Tracy Island, Jeff Tracey says, "It is part of a wide ranging cost saving initiative. With cut backs in the space programmes around the world there is no longer a need for deep...

Ian Searle 06.03.14 1:20pm
Deadly new virus kills thousands

One or two scientists have expressed concern about the viral epidemic that is sweeping through the UK killing thousands of people. The virus has received little publicity but at least one doctor has...

blacklesbianandproudofit 06.03.14 12:55pm
Immigrants complain that the middle classes ‘are too populous’

Immigrant leaders have complained today in an influential publication that too many people are in the middle classes. Their article alleges that the large amount of professional white collar workers...

throngsman 06.03.14 12:51pm
Salmond hails celebrity endorsement as Groundskeeper Willie backs Yes vote 0
bookiesfriend 06.03.14 12:18pm
G8 Conference - Western Leaders to be Equipped with Bonio Defence.

In case there is a repeat of Putin’s tactic to intimidate western politicians by use of his large hound, the Labrador, Koni, they are to be issued with large packs of Bonio and dog chews laced with...

Guillermo De Snookio 06.03.14 12:10pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Herge’s Adventures of Putin – The Crimean Takeover

Vladimir, accompanied by his loveable hound Koni, attempts to adjust the voting system by the use Russian nationals disguised as Ukranians. Captain Haddockski attempts to get the Ukranian Navy to...

Guillermo De Snookio 06.03.14 12:07pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Crispy bacon overtakes napalm as favourite smell in the morning... 0
Tripod 06.03.14 12:06pm
House of Lords to be Renamed

A weighty issue has arisen in Westminster as the Obesity Bill receives its second reading today following a Labour amendment temporarily to rename the second chamber. The move is intended to...

BewsNiscuit 06.03.14 11:47am
Next series of apprentice to be half usual length

More to follow...

apepper 06.03.14 11:26am
Dog bone-er gets suspended sentence 0
roybland 06.03.14 11:05am
‘Disloyal’ Waitrose Customer sent to Coventry...

Frank Beer, manager of the Kenilworth branch of Waitrose, has announced an “irrevocable split” between the upmarket store and once-regular customer, Mrs Helen Chadwick. The citation, available to...

Tripod 06.03.14 11:04am
China's National Congress orders ban on Homeopathic contraception

China's Premier has announced a blanket ban "without mercy" on the widespread use of homeopathic contraception. Opening the annual parliamentary session in Beijing, President Xi Jinping has...

Lenny Bee 06.03.14 10:59am
Lenny Bee
Princes Andrew and Edward to tour Job Centres

“It is felt they will feel right at home amongst layabout dole spongers” said a Royal spokesperson. At each Job Centre outlet the princes will check for jobs involving walking about, waving at...

Damien_H 06.03.14 10:10am
e-Petition launched to save Somerset Wetlands from being drained

Once again the needs of commerce are being put above the existence of an established wetland ecology according to a Green pressure group "Save our heritage". "Just because there are thousands of...

captainscarlet 06.03.14 9:56am
Error 404 "Found" Again

More errors soon...

BewsNiscuit 06.03.14 9:51am
Everyone Telling Scots What they Should Do -Putin to Send Troops. 0
Dun Dunkin 06.03.14 9:49am
Dun Dunkin
Rich to avoid paying Sugar Tax By Using OffShore Sweeteners 0
Dun Dunkin 06.03.14 9:43am
Dun Dunkin
Shift in media coverage from UK rain to Ukraine blamed on E additives 0
The Last Detail 06.03.14 9:38am
The Last Detail
Teen overcomes massive obstacles and builds a fusion reactor

Young Jamie Edwards has astonished the science world by overcoming health and safety laws. With time running out Jamie had set his mind on becoming the youngest person to ever build a fusion device....

footinmouth 06.03.14 9:36am
Piers Morgan To Be Buried In Westminster Abbey

next Tuesday, next to Jeremy Clarkson...

Mike Turbine-Hamilton 06.03.14 9:25am
Guido Drapatolli
Satirical response to Russian aggression ‘proportionate’ says Cameron

Prime Minister David Cameron has today defended the UK’s use of satire in response to Russia’s military occupation of the Crimea. This followed an earlier claim by the Russian Government that...

bookiesfriend 06.03.14 8:49am
Person Suffering from Strange Affliction for Many Years Suddenly Appears in News

For no apparent reason, Mrs Caldicott of Leeds has turned up out of nowhere to declare that she can't fall asleep without biting her hand until it bleeds, or something like that. She says she has...

Schoolboy 06.03.14 8:32am
New Health and Safety Ad Warns That Lighter Fluid Is "Not a Diet Drink" 1
Schoolboy 06.03.14 8:28am
Bob the Builder held over Legoland threats 0
Dick Everyman 06.03.14 7:34am
Dick Everyman
Bovine porn site described as "complete and udder depravity" 0
sydalg 06.03.14 6:08am
Chris Smith regrets choosing Simon and Garfunkel album for Desert Islands Discs

A Bridge over Bridgewater's Troubled Waters ?...

DorsetBoy 06.03.14 3:46am
Radio DJ Tries To Be Witty and Plays "Money, Money, Money" Based on News Story 0
Schoolboy 06.03.14 1:37am
Russia Denies Existence of Pole Vault, But Admit Having a Ukrainian Vault

More Soon. Nearly works, I guess...

Schoolboy 06.03.14 1:15am