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Police Spokesmen To Be Issued With Flame-Retardant Underwear

"This is purely a matter of taking prudent health-and-safety precautions" said a police spokesman. "You never know when one of our officers might be caught in a conflagration in a building - perhaps,...

0
Titus 05.11.13 1:45pm
Titus
Reality "soon to be available in 3D" on Isle of Wight 0
sydalg 05.11.13 1:37pm
sydalg
Last Supper cancelled due to bread and wine shortage 0
sydalg 05.11.13 1:37pm
sydalg
Kama Sutra for the Obese to be serialised by Broadsheets 1
Flugelbinder 05.11.13 1:35pm
medici2471
Man Tired Of Annual Christmas Pub Crawl…..

…..Prefers New Year one instead...

0
Jesse Bigg 05.11.13 12:30pm
Jesse Bigg
Tesco sued as face scan adverts persist in showing package holidays to Thailand 0
medici2471 05.11.13 12:17pm
medici2471
Ex-DPP wants mandatory reporting law (unless it involves anyone called McAlpine)

(Ticker that if you dare)...

0
Wrenfoe 05.11.13 11:44am
Wrenfoe
Sales of burqas soar as Tesco introduces face-scanning cameras... 0
Tripod 05.11.13 11:44am
Tripod
Indian bonfire night celebrations off to a good start 1
medici2471 05.11.13 11:25am
Wrenfoe
Wonga.com say that they have a customer satisfaction rate of 6,594% 1
John Wiltshire 05.11.13 11:24am
Wrenfoe
Coalition to launch free jumper initiative

The coalition government is to give everyone in the UK a free jumper this winter in an attempt to beat Labour over rising energy costs. George Osborne said that the free jumper policy will also...

1
roybland 05.11.13 10:53am
Midfield Diamond
Spoof Ofsted proposal to begin education at 2 NOT a spoof - Honest 0
blokefromstoke 05.11.13 10:31am
blokefromstoke
'I am an alpha male and I will win Movember', warns Jeremy Paxman

Jeremy Paxman will throw down the gauntlet to thousands of men planning to take part in the popular 'Movember' campaign next month, after a recent dry run proved categorically that the TV presenter...

12
Jesus H 05.11.13 9:45am
Spartacus
Riot at Maidstone prison ends after criminals see Maidstone for first time.

Spokesman Ryan 'knuckles' Fletcher said, "the violence, cramped living conditions, horrible food, constant abuse and persistent threat of anal rape were just too much - we decided we'd be safer...

1
FOAD 05.11.13 9:42am
Wrenfoe
Andy Coulson denies being involved in fracking...hardly earth shattering news 1
irreverendJ 05.11.13 8:43am
Titus
Ministers urge more austerity with 'bonfire of the vanities' night 0
Not Amused 05.11.13 8:31am
Not Amused
Our benefits not good enough for them ? Ungrateful immigrants spurn our help. 0
Not Amused 05.11.13 8:26am
Not Amused
Churches Oppose Bid To Legalise Homeopathic Marriage 0
Titus 05.11.13 12:20am
Titus
Man sues Tesco over in store targeted adult DVD adverts. 0
Ref Minor 04.11.13 11:11pm
Ref Minor
Christmas TV - North-South Split….

…South - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? North - Cold Comfort Farm., "Not again, surely?'"...

0
Jesse Bigg 04.11.13 9:57pm
Jesse Bigg
Gas prices to be linked to aircraft carrier inflation.

more hypothermia soon...

0
Boutros 04.11.13 9:55pm
Boutros
Witness protection programme and X Factor join forces

The UK witness protection programme, which defends vulnerable witnesses and people involved in the justice system whose identity being known leaves them under threat, has announced it plans to...

3
TobiasBV 04.11.13 8:28pm
Al OPecia
.....all for one and none for all

Labour leader Little Eddie Millepede has taken another happy pill and vowed to deliver a 'living wage' to millions if he wins the next general election in 2015. Always assuming that there will be...

0
vanhellsink 04.11.13 7:45pm
vanhellsink
'What the hell am I going to do now then?' Asks courtroom artist

A courtroom artist is fearing for his livelihood today after cameras were finally granted permission to film inside the Royal Courts of Justice, in a moment of legal and broadcasting history, which...

6
Jesus H 04.11.13 7:13pm
Jesus H
Porn stars launch 'thick winter clothing' charity calendar 5
Idiot 04.11.13 6:38pm
Gerontius
Mohammed Ahmed Mohamed win's Britain's next top model

The Home Office is examining it's security systems after it emerged that escaped terrorist suspect, Mohammed Ahmed Mohamed, has won Britain and Ireland's next top model and has been awarded a...

0
apepper 04.11.13 6:31pm
apepper
Morsi tells trial "I am Spartacus!". Morsi soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.11.13 5:44pm
Al OPecia
Nightclubs to introduce shitfaced-scan tech to target booze ads. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.11.13 5:43pm
Al OPecia
co-operative bank to become cooped up ratif bonque

Perhaps this is a little too obscure?...

3
malta witty 04.11.13 5:31pm
Sinnick
Man wearing burqa no threat as "he doesn't hold a Terrorist visa". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.11.13 5:26pm
Al OPecia