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Mayans throw old calendar away, buy new one, wonder what all the fuss was about 0
Tripod 21.12.12 9:47am
Tripod
Primary School Advent Calendar researchers predict Armageddon on December 25th

Careful study of a Gruffalo-themed chocolate calendar has led many 7-year-old researchers to forecast "the end of the world" on December 25th. 'The Chocolate just runs out on Tuesday,' commented...

2
The Bogs 21.12.12 9:35am
Midnight Dreary
Humanity finds comfort on day of apocalypse by remembering Bono will die as well 0
Idiot 21.12.12 9:28am
Idiot
Beach stolen from Filey.

Residents of the many retirement homes along Filey’s east coast shoreline awoke this morning to find the beach gone. CCTV footage revealed an operation at 2 am involving a group of men armed with...

2
malgor 21.12.12 9:24am
dvo4fun
Met Office 'Amber rain warning' found to be urine

Which one works?...

3
virtuallywill 21.12.12 9:24am
johnnydobbo
Male Christmas shoppers praying for Mayan apocalypse

The planet's males were today keeping their fingers crossed that the Mayan prophecy of the world ending comes true and they are relieved of the need to buy Christmas presents for their wives and...

2
Long Distance Clara 21.12.12 9:19am
dvo4fun
Bible in hotel drawer predicts " I'm a Giddeon"

aye thankyou...

2
Scronnyglonkle 21.12.12 9:09am
Bourbon
Mayan Cheif blames Fat Cat bankers for Armageddon failure 0
Scronnyglonkle 21.12.12 8:43am
Scronnyglonkle
Australian Judge Confuses "At Work" With "On The Job"

[url=http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/dec/17/woman-injured-sex-work-trip?INTCMP=SRCH]Some things[/url] are impossible to satirise as they are already satirical themselves...

2
Sexton A Blake 21.12.12 6:27am
riesler
Experts concede Mayan words for "Armageddon" and "bank holiday" very similar. 1
dominic_mcg 21.12.12 6:18am
Golgo13
"Sex - The Only Way To Keep Warm This Winter"......

.Says Scottish Highlander. Or did he mean sacks?...

1
Jesse Bigg 21.12.12 3:30am
Squudge
Today's Daily Mail includes free souvenir "End of the World" pull-out supplement

for you to keep...

1
Smart Alex 21.12.12 3:24am
Squudge
Dole Offices Forced To Incorporate A Plimsoll Line In Their Office Wall.....

..Due to high unemployment...

2
Jesse Bigg 20.12.12 11:41pm
Lucy4
Syrian government "using Dubstep against civilians", Human Rights Watch reports. 0
bonjonelson 20.12.12 10:40pm
bonjonelson
New Assange leaks will 'affect every country in the world' except Ecuador 0
20.12.12 8:46pm
Legless Canoeist Paddles Across The Channel With Penis

Armed with a French phrase book, a good lunch box and a canoe pinched from Edgbaston, Bob Numan from Birmingham decided to do what any man would do after a heavy day on the booze, and go abroad and...

0
Tess Goes 20.12.12 8:34pm
Tess Goes
'Hollywood hacker' who targetted Scarlett Johansson given vote of thanks

The man responsible for the appearance online of nude pictures of Scarlett Johansson was this week sentenced to ten years of back-slaps, free beers, nods of recognition and "cheers mate"s. Hacker...

3
johnnydobbo 20.12.12 7:51pm
Tripod
Mayan end of the world sweepstake won with 'Flood'.

Winners can claim their prizes on Saturday. No more soon.. or ever...

0
MADJEZ 20.12.12 6:29pm
MADJEZ
End of the world only affects Isle of Wight. More Soon. 0
Gaz 20.12.12 6:28pm
Gaz
Met Office 'Amber rain warning' found to be piss

Lots later...

0
virtuallywill 20.12.12 6:22pm
virtuallywill
Proverb Aid announced for the poor and misinformed this Christmas

A new Government initiative to provide the poor and misinformed with 'Proverb aid' is to be launched in time for Christmas. A series of cleverly devised sayings, aimed at assisting the hard or tired...

15
kga6 20.12.12 5:42pm
Al OPecia
End of the World organisers advise "bring wellies and a cagoule"

more soon....

1
Squudge 20.12.12 5:04pm
custard cream
BBC itself may be guilty of abuse

Shocking new allegations have been made that the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) itself may have participated in the abuse of children. The 90-year old public service broadcaster is believed...

2
Darkbill 2.0 20.12.12 2:32pm
Qoxiivi
Bollocks, says everyone, as Mayan apocalypse doesn't happen

There has been widespread disappointment as Britain woke up on 22 December to find that the Doomsday forecast by the Ancient Mayans' 'long count' failed to happen. Instead, they remain stuck in a...

3
Oxbridge 20.12.12 2:04pm
Idiot
Ex-BBC Director General said to be "laughing" at cavalier pay-off. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 20.12.12 1:46pm
Sinnick
'Charity shops may have to open charity shops just to survive' say charities

The Alliance of High Street Charity Shop Executives has issued a report claiming nearly half its members made a loss in 2012 in the face of dwindling sales and rising costs, and found that opening a...

3
The Bogs 20.12.12 1:45pm
riesler
Nazi salute nurse transferred to G4 Security 1
custard cream 20.12.12 1:17pm
Bourbon
Unemployed Liverpool man trials hibernation to save money for new sofa

Long term unemployed Liverpool man, Gavin Smith, says his quest to find the perfect vegetative state could be over after a successful trial hibernation last weekend. Mr Smith, who has his eye on a...

1
Yikes 20.12.12 1:16pm
button
A turkey is for life!

Imagine the surprise experienced by Albert Wilkins upon discovering thirty turkeys in the cupboard beneath his stairs last Tuesday. Albert, a keen hide-and-seek enthusiast, exclaimed “I couldn’t...

0
parttimepirate 20.12.12 1:07pm
parttimepirate
Questions over White House security after President is attacked by Spider child

Spider-Kid, the mischevious web-slinging child of superhero Spiderman, today sparked a national security alert after penetrating the inner reaches of the White House. Skillfully swinging and...

0
Darkbill 2.0 20.12.12 11:55am
Darkbill 2.0