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Serbia banned from World Conker Championships

Serbia has been disqualified from this year's World Conker Championships which kicks off in Accrington Town Hall this weekend. Inspectors from the World Conker Council yesterday discovered gross...

19.10.12 2:37pm
Chelsea goalkeeper has pub named after him. 2
JETFAB 19.10.12 1:44pm
Eighteen Oxbridge students who interrupted afternoon swim let off scott free

A group of eighteen students from Oxford and Cambridge who were accused of interrupting a man's afternoon swim were today acquitted at Isleworth Crown Court. The group, who included seven chinless,...

johnnydobbo 19.10.12 1:43pm
Toast angered by Milliband's comparison to Tory Chief Whip

Toast has reacted with fury to Labour Leader Ed Milliband's comparison to Andrew Mitchell. Milliband has now apologised to "all the British grilled bread community" for inappropriate language. As...

nickb 19.10.12 1:43pm
Government to force dating websites to offer customers the cheapest dates 0
Mandy Lifeboat 19.10.12 1:37pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Gay couple whose address was published by BNP seek refuge in B&B 0
custard cream 19.10.12 1:03pm
custard cream
Damien Hirst's arsehole splits art world

The art world is reassessing Damien Hirst’s arsehole, after it was displayed on a plinth in Ilfracombe. Studded with diamonds and dappled with light, the ring piece dates from his ‘They’ll Buy...

The Bogs 19.10.12 12:40pm
U2 Talk Down New Album

The four members of popular Irish rockers U2 have been unusually candid in a round of interviews given on the eve of the release of the latest album, There's Worse Ways To Kill 50 Minutes. Tired of...

Textbook 19.10.12 12:10pm
Is this the end of the alcove?

Alcoves were once a much-loved feature of many homes. Sadly, that's no longer the case. Since their association with Jimmy Saville, they have gained a reputation as a hiding-place for perverts. ...

19.10.12 12:07pm
Trenton Oldfield's cox soon to be in cockney inmate's boat race

More to follow...

philthefunk 19.10.12 11:49am
An American makes a deposit at the bank... 10
The All New Jeni B 19.10.12 11:46am
Man with sousaphone stuck in backside misdiagnosed with Tubaculosis. 13
bonjonelson 19.10.12 11:07am
Airport check-in ‘nightmare’ family banned from all flights

Following a series of incidents at airports around the world, a family from Stevenage has been officially grounded. A crisis meeting involving representatives from airport authorities, airlines and...

Midfield Diamond 19.10.12 10:53am
Doctors to be vetted

First appointment available for annual GP check: 27th March 2018 at 08.10...

Lucy4 19.10.12 10:25am
Uniformed service employers make moustaches compulsory

Employees of uniformed services including police, fire and security companies will be required to sport full moustaches from April 2013 in a bid to gain more respect from the public. Male and female...

Dick Everyman 19.10.12 9:46am
Dick Everyman
Old Etonian's Gangnam Hokey Cokey video a You-Tube smash.

A group of Old Etonians, calling themselves 'The Black Eyed MP's have released a spoof video about their European policy., 'Are we in, are we out, shake Farage all about,' sing the Fops. 'We wanted...

philthefunk 19.10.12 9:29am
Team producing petrol from thin air invited to work on Nick Cleggs credibility 0
Nowherefast 19.10.12 9:08am
ofgem proposals force energy companies to find simpler ways to rip off customers 0
Smart Alex 19.10.12 9:05am
Smart Alex
Stones Want To Play Glastonbury;

"We played our first ever gig there for Arthur and his posse", said Mick, "And this was BEFORE he became king!"...

arthurminnit 19.10.12 7:32am
Russian tourists 'intent on reigniting the Cold War'

The Foreign Office has issued warnings about hostile foreign actions that have taken place across various hotspots, including many Red Sea beaches and various Turkish resorts. William Hague, the...

quango 18.10.12 10:02pm
Alan Milburn recommends 'working for the Tories' as key to social mobility 2
Mandy Lifeboat 18.10.12 9:29pm
Search for Google shares info turn up zilch

custard cream 18.10.12 7:02pm
Newsbiscuits John O Farrel

arrested in a dawn raid after extensive undercover opperation by Scotland yards vice and newly formed phone pervert squad.O Farrel suspected for over 20 years of being Londons worst heavey breathing...

Mr Molester 18.10.12 7:02pm
Search for Google shares info turn up zilch

custard cream 18.10.12 6:54pm
custard cream
Scouting movement admits to being unprepared for atheist members. 0
Zen 18.10.12 6:42pm
BBC tells Mike Harding to Folk off. 0
Zen 18.10.12 6:39pm
Closed roof at England game fails to protect fans from shower of shit

The re-arranged World Cup qualifier between England and Poland was played out with the roof closed on Wednesday, but even that failed to stop those in attendance being hit by a huge shower of shit....

Vertically Challenged Giant 18.10.12 6:28pm
Turkish penis an insult to Islam 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 18.10.12 6:25pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Metalworker’s Union sets up file-sharing website. 0
sigmund 18.10.12 4:58pm
New patent row resolved as Apple & Samsung settle for $1,000,000,000,000,000,000

Bell Telecom in the US has moved to stop Apple and Samsung from using the push button keypad arrangement they say they invented in the 1950’s and rolled out to AT & T customers from 1963., A...

grottymonty 18.10.12 4:35pm