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World's smartest man identified after posting on Mail Online for millionth time

A private investigator today announced that he'd finally managed to identify and locate the man who apparently knows everything there is to know about anything, and insists on telling readers of the...

Paddy Berzinski 17.01.13 1:27pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Fashion retailers fear huge increase in men lurking outside changing rooms

The loss of high street shops that men can get sent to while their partners try clothes on has led to them being forced to stand in the shop in the vicinity of the changing room. This in turn has...

Midfield Diamond 17.01.13 1:10pm
Ladbrooks to serve Filly Cheese Stake Sandwiches in betting shops 0
Scronnyglonkle 17.01.13 12:50pm
Tesco latest: Newsbiscuit writer accused of flogging dead horse

More follows...

apepper 17.01.13 12:42pm
IOS Maps announce sponsorship of Yorkshire stage of 2014 Tour De France 0
Mark66 17.01.13 12:33pm
Tesco introduce 3 course meal range; Chepstow, Ascot and Aintree

More to follow...

apepper 17.01.13 11:28am
A horse a day, helps you work, rest and neigh.

You can use that one...

Lens Cap 17.01.13 11:21am
Lens Cap
Blockbuster should have charged for in-store Browsing, says expert

After the recent announcement that Blockbuster has bit the inevitable bullet, an expert from Dunsworth Primary, Essex, stated that they should have charged teenagers and their dads for browsing...

Makkers1 17.01.13 10:59am
Blockbuster CEO issues statement: "We just haven't got a clue what to do" 9
charlies_hat 17.01.13 10:54am
Euro now worth 82 HMV vouchers.

The Euro has soared to a new high against a basket of worthless high street vouchers. Once on a par with the Jessop, the multi-European coinage is currently trading at 61 Jessops, or roughly 82 HMVs....

Boutros 17.01.13 10:43am
UK Economy So Bad, People Take To Eating Horse Meat

Recent tests have shown that poverty levels in the UK have now become so bad that some people have taken to eating significant quantities of horse meat. It now appears that Tesco customers and...

Deimos 17.01.13 10:01am
Deep Lib Dem concern over the snow fall... they've already broken they sledge! 0
Ian Searle 17.01.13 9:15am
Ian Searle
Tesco denies its horseradish sauce contains cowslips

“Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh” said spokesperson Frankie Howerd “that would be udderly ridiculous. Oooh missus, don’t”, although he did concede horseburgers look a bit like cowpats...

Reg Herring 17.01.13 8:05am
Reg Herring
Fire Marshall training course failed to focus on plunging helicopter scenario

Stockport Council has issued a full apology following the omission of its staff training course to be able to deal with plunging helicopters pouring aviation fuel on surprised members of the public."...

antharrison 17.01.13 12:13am
Tesco in talks with Smint to develop Shergar-free mince

I know, I know. Disgraceful pun...

butagirl 16.01.13 11:37pm
South Yorkshire Police: "Eric Clapton guilty of shooting sheriff *and* deputy"

More to follow...

apepper 16.01.13 10:06pm
Norbury man wakes to hate the smell of his own farts

Until Christmas, Joe Ballard from Hatch Road, Norbury was like any adult male and used to love the smell of his own farts. "From the tiniest squeaker to the mega-ripper I really used to enjoy the...

acilianus 16.01.13 10:05pm
Lens Cap
Renewed hope for High Street retail as the internet files for administration 0
The Last Detail 16.01.13 9:46pm
The Last Detail
Tesco's burgers "the dog's bollocks". More soon. 3
Al OPecia 16.01.13 9:17pm
To beef or not to beef, that is equestrian

Last one, I promise...

tedweasel 16.01.13 9:16pm
HMV in negotiation with Tesco. Nipper looking nervous. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 16.01.13 8:45pm
Al OPecia
Man U to play football and will try to win! 1
Lens Cap 16.01.13 7:46pm
Dawsons creek
Supermarket removes 'My Lidll pony' range from meat aisle 2
custard cream 16.01.13 7:18pm
Lens Cap
Blockbuster admits 'no late fees' nothing to do with the job centre

It's just words...

Lens Cap 16.01.13 7:17pm
Lens Cap
Tesco admit 'Three for a Tenner' is not a betting strategy 1
custard cream 16.01.13 7:14pm
Lens Cap
After Granada creates 'Plaza de Joe Strummer', Bradford opens 'Chumbawamba Park' 1
custard cream 16.01.13 7:13pm
Tesco Jack and the Beanstalk scandal; "cow was 50% horse"

Tesco's amateur dramatics society have been rocked by news that Dave Wifront, who played the back end of the pantomime cow was actually playing the back end of a horse. "It's turned me upside...

apepper 16.01.13 7:03pm
Tesco introduce new 'Mane Courses' range 3
Idiot 16.01.13 6:52pm
Redundant HMV employee exacts swift revenge...

pinxit 16.01.13 6:37pm
Paddy Berzinski
Quorn burgers found to contain 29% horseradish

Veggie option...

tedweasel 16.01.13 6:05pm