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Grand Prix results drama: "I was only not obeying orders" says Vettel

more (casual national sterotyping) later...

dvo4fun 25.03.13 8:24pm
Maths teacher confirms flapjacks are dangerous "if thrown from the right angle" 4
charlies_hat 25.03.13 8:22pm
New Anti-Virginity Drive to Improve IT

Industry insiders warned today that an excess of nerdy virgins threatens to cripple the nation's IT infrastructure. The latest casualty is the NHS 111 service, which has failed to launch despite...

deceangli 25.03.13 8:17pm
All warning 'triangles' to be circular from now insists HSE... No sharp edges.

Other 'pointless' safety signs urgently being reviewed...

Jammydodgers 25.03.13 7:49pm
‘Cash4Organs’ opens in Barnsley...

A new business is hoping to exploit the ‘Oh, fuck, I’m broke and I don’t get paid till Friday’ sector of the ‘I’m holding down two jobs and I still can’t pay the sodding bills’ market...

Tripod 25.03.13 7:35pm
Iran only months away from Triangular Flapjacks claims Israel.

Can be launched in 45 minutes say Netanyahu...

Zen 25.03.13 7:24pm
Researcher finds Chimp, Human DNA 100% the same 4
Dumbnews 25.03.13 6:59pm
School food to be served intravenously to avoid chocking hazard 0
pbramwell 25.03.13 4:36pm
Challenge 21 scheme to be extended to incorporate triangular flapjack

After a shocking assault with a pointed flapjack at one Essex school, dubbed the buttery biscuit base massacre, food vendors across the country have got together to universally agree to extend the...

theinvisiblecitychannels 25.03.13 3:54pm
New Age terrorists develop homeopathic bomb - 2

The world has been placed on a heightened security alert following reports that New Age terrorists have harnessed the power of homeopathy for evil. ‘Homeopathic weapons represent a major threat...

Ludicity 25.03.13 3:51pm
Tristan Shout
Nation's hitmen to be given "novelty whack" tax incentive

George Osbourne has confirmed his intention to get Britain's assassins "up to world-class whacking standards" by offering tax breaks for the most creative hit-jobs, including for the victims'...

SuburbanDad 25.03.13 3:43pm
Golgeau Treize
Resurrection of George Osborne 'unlikely'

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne is unlikely to rise from the dead over the Easter holiday according to reports. Osborne, who died after suffering a series of failed budgets, had been...

roybland 25.03.13 3:13pm
God challenges tooth fairy to popularity contest 0
sydalg 25.03.13 2:48pm
BMW drivers declared disabled in parking amnesty

Disability rights groups have reacted furiously to the news that, from next week, all new BMWs will come with a disabled parking badge etched into the windscreen. Councils across Britain claim they...

NewSuburbanDad 25.03.13 2:45pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
North Korea stock piles Essex Flapjacks 0
pbramwell 25.03.13 2:45pm
Moses walk to work eased by freezing conditions.

Couldn't resist it with this photo.

MADJEZ 25.03.13 1:35pm
Mr Target
Carol Vordeman falls down stairs hitting one from the top and two on the bottom 0
Ian Searle 25.03.13 1:35pm
Ian Searle
EU seize 30% of all deposits in Cypriot bottle banks

To get the money back on the empties...

Ian Searle 25.03.13 1:31pm
Ian Searle
Anne Frank diary inspires teen's ban on 'Nazi' parents entering bedroom

Reading Anne Frank's Diary has had a powerful emotional effect on Scunthorpe teen Jodie Matthews (13). 'I can relate to Anne although she lived seventy years ago and because she was the same age as...

roybland 25.03.13 1:00pm
Unemployed man accidentally finds job online whilst looking for porn 5
sydalg 25.03.13 12:14pm
The Prettiest Pair of Tits I Ever Saw

At a farewell dinner, to celebrate 50 years of Presidency of the Somerset Ornithological Society, 92 year old Hetty Fenshaw-Smythe recounted some hands on hide experiences, to the wide variety of...

Big Ben 25.03.13 11:25am
Man using phone box boosts BT profits by 20p...

A man from Gwent has used a BT telephone box to try and make a call: the first time since 2009 that any phone box in Wales has been used for anything other than discreet, post-pub urination....

Tripod 25.03.13 12:25am
Rio Ferdinand may clear window in his diary and play football for England soon 3
ronseal 24.03.13 11:54pm
Breaking Wind News:

The Met Office's Red, Amber, Yellow (RAY) severe weather and flood alert systems have today been criticised for being nicely colour coordinated but lacking in urgency. A key failing was said to be...

BewsNiscuit 24.03.13 11:12pm
Paddy Berzinski
Budget Special Offer - buy 320 bottles of beer, get one free! 0
custard cream 24.03.13 11:00pm
custard cream
Yorkshire Snowman to sue God

Snowy the Scarborough snowman today revealed a family grudge he's been bottling up for, oooooh, days, since he was built in fact. "I 'ate it when it snows! I'm not simply shivering, I'm shekkin'...

BewsNiscuit 24.03.13 10:54pm
Escape To Victory, Bend It Like Beckham and Goal! top Netflix charts 0
custard cream 24.03.13 10:48pm
custard cream
Mark Webber keys Vettel car 0
custard cream 24.03.13 9:26pm
custard cream
Marriage Breakup Tension Completely Relieved With "Its Not You, Its Me" Line

A tense stand-off in the relationship negotiations between Paul and Hilary Jones of Surbiton was relieved this afternoon after Paul revealed that he was seeking to end the six year marriage not...

thisisall1word 24.03.13 7:09pm
Golgeau Treize
Cyprus to Introduce New Mattress Stash Tax

Following the failure of the plan to tax savings in Cyprus, the Cyprus Government has just announced it latest tax the Mattress Stash Tax. Under the proposal tax investigators will visit every home...

rosege 24.03.13 4:43pm