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Sky News in overdrive as two day drought begins 0
GingerClive 16.02.14 10:31am
Ellen Page comes out as sexy lesbian

Actress Ellen Page has today announced that she is a sexy lesbian. Speaking at the Time to Thrive human rights conference in Las Vegas, the star of the blockbuster hit [i]I Downloaded a Ghost[/i]...

leviticusreeves 16.02.14 10:20am
Syrian war victims declare solidarity with Wiltshire supermarket campaigners

Civilians who have recently been evacuated from the besieged Old City of Homs in Syria have been cheered by news that, while their 18-month ordeal was going on under the eyes of the world, their...

Oxbridge 16.02.14 10:03am
Kevin the Swan
ITV hope to capture national mood by announcing new reality soap: Chertsey Shore 2
DorsetBoy 16.02.14 8:17am
25 years on GPS is still being used to pinpoint location within a few metres 0
Bigglesworth 16.02.14 2:04am
Success claimed in Davina's sponsored 'Go Away'

Organisers are claiming that huge amounts of cash have been raised for charity as the public have turned out their pockets to make Davina McCall go away and not present any more bad TV programmes for...

Electrelane 15.02.14 11:06pm
Cameron: 'Salmond and Sturgeon have had their chips!' 0
Squudge 15.02.14 8:28pm
SNP leaders Salmond and Sturgeon deny referendum 'fishy business' 1
custard cream 15.02.14 8:27pm
Britons still inexplicably keen to talk about the weather... 0
deskpilot3 15.02.14 5:48pm
'Simply NHS' to be launched

Under the watchful eye of former Marks & Spencer boss, Sir Stuart Rose, the National Health Service is to offer a range of ‘everyday food products’ and ‘must-have kitchen ingredients’...

Wrenfoe 15.02.14 5:45pm
Incest scandal man starts own cereal company, Oedipus Breks 1
sydalg 15.02.14 5:38pm
Kevin the Swan
Mourinho brands Finney a serial failure over lack of titles. 0
Ref Minor 15.02.14 5:33pm
Ref Minor
Fury as media man dubs scandal-hit Green fingered revolt the GardenGate Spring

A furious row broke out in the media last night, over whether an event was a Spring or a Gate. The event, a scandal involving a popular uprising by some horny handed sons of toil, has polarised...

ronseal 15.02.14 4:24pm
Food Shortage In Flood-Hit Areas Due To Invasion By Hordes Of Hungry Journalists

And needless to say, the alcohol ran out weeks ago. [Hat tips to all the other posters who have already offered similar comments.]...

Titus 15.02.14 3:58pm
News outlets unable to extend floods coverage due to saturation. 1
Al OPecia 15.02.14 12:50pm
Isle of Wight man wins Olympic gold in "Slipping over on a frozen puddle" 0
Son of Barnabas 15.02.14 12:31pm
Son of Barnabas
Staines hospital reports many new babies born with webbed feet

Son of Barnabas 15.02.14 12:28pm
Son of Barnabas
Tom Finney finally stops dribbling... 0
Tripod 15.02.14 12:25pm
Mitchell and Met chief agree to do 'paper, scissor, stone' to settle dispute 1
Underconstruction 15.02.14 12:22pm
Son of Barnabas
World’s oldest living human still alive

“How do you feel?” asked a top journalist, wading in wellies “Um” “we gotta stop you there as we have heard someone nearly tripped over something in Sittingbourne – Kay!” “Yes...

farmer giles 15.02.14 12:18pm
Son of Barnabas
Ironman triathlete admits 24-hour TV presenting marathon was 'Really hard'

Frederik Van Lierde, the world champion at the Ironman triathlon, generally regarded as one of the most difficult endurance events on the planet has spoken of his exhaustion after completing a...

antharrison 15.02.14 12:08pm
Son of Barnabas
Man disappointed he doesn't fancy Emma Watson more

A man today expressed his disappointment at the attractiveness of former Harry Potter actress Emma Watson. "Don't get me wrong; I was never physically attracted to her as Hermione Granger, though I...

Adrian Bamforth 15.02.14 11:42am
If M & S boss doesn’t fix NHS, we can take him back for a replacement... 0
Tripod 15.02.14 10:59am
Preachers backtrack after ‘God coming out as gay’ revelation revealed to be hoax

Bishops and ministers everywhere had already announced their new gay brand of celibacy following reports of God coming out as gay, only to later discover the reports were false. The Supreme Deity, of...

kga6 15.02.14 9:43am
Somerset levels limited food used to feed thousands of reporters!

Local residents in the Somerset levels are facing severe food shortages because pubs, restaurants and shops are forced to feed thousands of news crews who search for another flood story. One...

2escapees 15.02.14 8:55am
Controversial farmer publishes till-all memoir 0
sydalg 15.02.14 4:42am
More 70s stars face nicknomination 0
sydalg 15.02.14 4:38am
Met Office blames current drought on climate change.

"The science is settled!."...

Maverick 15.02.14 2:38am
Skeleton wins Lizzie Yarnold gold

More to follow...

apepper 14.02.14 11:16pm
Darkness singer Justin Hawkins happy to provide his Chertsey Sausage.

Though he's not sure how it will help with the floods...

MADJEZ 14.02.14 11:02pm
Adrian Bamforth