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Queen to allow swans to eat vegans

Palace officials and conservationists alike are currently poring over radical proposals to allow swans to eat the Queens subjects for the first time since the Act of Swans in 1482. The swans of the...

23
Squudge 24.07.13 6:49pm
Titus
New Future National Anthem

(Hats off for Admiral of the Fleet Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, KG GCB OM GCSI GCIE GCVO DSO PC FRS. Respec'.)...

0
Titus 24.07.13 6:37pm
Titus
Royal baby named George Michael after taking so long to come out 11
irreverendJ 24.07.13 6:06pm
Al OPecia
Royal Name Finally Announced-George Zippy Bungle Geoffrey Prince of Cambridge 2
Ref Minor 24.07.13 5:57pm
Ref Minor
Triplets diagnosed with diabetes 2
Squudge 24.07.13 5:53pm
Squudge
420 character broadcast broken down into three piece tweet

Neat-oh dear...

5
beau-jolly 24.07.13 5:43pm
FOAD
Man with multiple personality disorder "stole three piece suite to sit on" 3
sydalg 24.07.13 5:12pm
sponge finger
Pippa Middleton Arse to 'Give Birth' Soon

this is by far the stupidest post I have made for years however I keep chuckling at this apologies to everyone concerned or not concerned...

1
thisisall1word 24.07.13 4:47pm
FlashArry
'Internet nerds' now seek advice on buying dirty mags 'without looking rapey'

Following David Cameron's plans to make access to online pornography even more difficult, thousands of young men of the internet generation have turned to their wise elders for advise on how to buy a...

12
Jesus H 24.07.13 4:13pm
Jesus H
More Wimbledon wins expected as porn block frees up nation's wrists for tennis 0
sydalg 24.07.13 3:00pm
sydalg
Porn block could slow down economic recovery, warns Kleenex CEO 2
sydalg 24.07.13 2:55pm
Lindy Moone
Beyonce gets hair caught in fan

Three security guards were required to wrestle to the floor a hysteric concert fan after they gave in to their urge to take a sweet mouthful of Beyonce's hair at a recent gig. Beyonce, who had jumped...

5
kga6 24.07.13 2:55pm
Wrenfoe
Ladders unsure which building to wait outside for the next big news story. 3
Ian Searle 24.07.13 2:51pm
Wrenfoe
GM Corn Sprouts 'Sabre', 'Wando' and 'Patriot' To Produce 3 Peas Wheat 1
Titus 24.07.13 2:32pm
FOAD
Aristocracy venture into bio-genetics.

Sir Galahad Threepwood of Blandings Castle, Shropshire, is the latest hard-up Aristocrat to turn his hand to trade. He has developed a new strain of wheat, said to be resistant to blight, wilt and...

1
FOAD 24.07.13 1:55pm
Titus
Disappointment after millions realize royal baby has no relevance to their lives 1
Dumbnews 24.07.13 1:41pm
Titus
Photographers still camped at hospital but no sign of Pippa Middleton's arse. 1
MADJEZ 24.07.13 1:34pm
Titus
Baby furious to learn he's only third in line for throne 0
sydalg 24.07.13 1:30pm
sydalg
Cistercian monks make bread from Trappist wheat 0
Arthur 24.07.13 12:49pm
Arthur
Eighth contestant in French circus competition performs on trapèze huit 0
Arthur 24.07.13 12:40pm
Arthur
The Door channel became the most watched on TV according to latest figures.

More on Door+1...

0
Ian Searle 24.07.13 12:00pm
Ian Searle
Royal Baby Begs Proles For Money Via Kickstarter

Despite being unable to walk, the latest addition to the Royal Family is following in the footsteps of other high-profile millionaires by taking to the internet and begging strangers for money. Like...

0
ASG 24.07.13 11:40am
ASG
Dept of Transport urges HS2 critics not to waste public money on legal challenge

If only they could see the irony...

0
NewBiscuit 24.07.13 11:19am
NewBiscuit
Man creates Perpetual Motion by connecting the two ends of a snake to a ladder

More and more soon...

0
AReader 24.07.13 11:05am
AReader
Cannibal celebrates Wimsey's birthday by 'having his carcase and eating it, too' 1
Lindy Moone 24.07.13 11:02am
Lindy Moone
BBC clear schedules to discuss whether baby coverage is over the top

More to follow...

1
apepper 24.07.13 10:49am
theinvisiblecitychannels
IPhone sales surge in anticipation of Weiner’s ‘weiner’

Shares of the smartphone rose by nearly 5% as news reached Wall Street that another Democratic “schlong” was about to go viral on Twitter. The New York mayoral candidate, Anthony Weiner, quickly...

0
Wrenfoe 24.07.13 10:08am
Wrenfoe
Innovative confectioners Peterson, Patterson and Parson patent PPP Sweet

Bah, humbug ...

0
Arthur 24.07.13 8:57am
Arthur
Royal Reporter Nicholas Witchell evaporates in shame at his own pointlessness

BBC Royal stalk-a-twat Nicholas Witchell dissolved into thin air outside Buckingham Palace during the BBC’s 4800 hour live streaming coverage of a baby falling out of a Royal Twat. The exact...

1
theinvisiblecitychannels 24.07.13 8:39am
theinvisiblecitychannels
Woman on benefits leaves hopital with baby and returns to state funded mansion.

An unemployed woman living in government funded accomodation on Anglesey, yesterday left hospital with her baby and spent the night in a different, very large council house provided for her in London...

1
grottymonty 24.07.13 8:34am
CulchaVulcha