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DSK still waiting for room service in Lille police station 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
LA porn stars threaten to down tools in protest over mandatory condom use 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Ryan Air cuts flights from Edinburgh Airport after realising it is in Edinburgh 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
A football pitch 'the size of a football pitch' say scientists 5
roybland 3 years

A football pitch is exactly the size of one football pitch, scientists at London's Imperial College have discovered in groundbreaking research. The frequent use of a 'football pitch' as a unit of...

Ann Summers downgraded from AAA's to AA's 0
charlies_hat 3 years
'Nothing wrong with taking Jeremy Clarkson outside and shooting him' says OFCOM 0
Stan 3 years
Jeremy Clarkson’s face gets dangerously long 5
Immunis 3 years

The BBC have been fending off various complaints about Jeremy Clarkson for years now but Mr Clarkson’s face has been getting longer over the years and now looks like it is about to fall off his...

'How do we sell the phrase chain gang, to the British public?' asks Cameron 0
Immunis 3 years
Divorcing U.S. Cavalry Officer expects Custerdy Battle. 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

So Sioux me. Hat-tip to Seymour Totti...

Battery hens lose AAA status in charged meeting. 2
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
BNP claim London fascist week "a success" 2
simonjmr 3 years
Sun on Sunday will return to traditional journalistic values of making stuff up 6
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Announcing the first publication of the Sun on Sunday, News Corporation boss Rupert Murdoch has pledged that the paper will be produced with the ‘highest possible standards’ and will not repeat...

Government's Work Experience scheme could lead to cotton-picking opportunities 1
roybland 3 years
TARDIS fault forces Doctor Who to use back-up, portaloo-based TURDIS. 5
Haywood Manley 3 years

It smells a bit and the door won't close properly but it'll do for the time being. Well, it'll do for this time being!" quips the Doctor as he prepares to head off on yet another time-travelling...

Canadian govt accused of "muzzling" its scientists, Brian Cox offered to Canada 1
simonjmr 3 years
Irish PM interviews new neo-colonial oppressor 1
Tom55 3 years

Mr. Enda Kenny, the Irish taosh.teesh..Prime Minister today interviewed Mr. Xi Jinping, Deputy PM of The People's Republic of China, to replace the US as the next neo-colonialist oppressor., "The US...

BBC's A. Marr changes name to R. Slicker 0
antharrison 3 years
Cameron and Prince of Wales celebrate diamond jubilee as "Chas 'n Dave" tribute 0
antharrison 3 years

As a moving and respectful tribute to HM Queen's 60th year on the throne, the Prime Minister David Cameron and HRH The Prince of Wales have announced that they will mark the monarch's diamond jubilee...

Border agency to get fringe benefits. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
Bristol man jailed for 'using his weapon as a bus' 5
Perks 3 years

A Gang member from Bristol has been jailed for 3 years for attempting to use his Baseball Bat as a bus. Wayne Dwight was found guilty at Bristol Crown Court after being pulled over by police...

Viola player refuses to take part in benefits fraud. 2
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

'I'll not go on the fiddle", she says...

Ofcom calls for Sarcasm to be taught in care homes after latest Clarkson ruling. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Elderly told not everything said on the BBC is the gospel truth. More soon...

Sun on Sunday to feature news 'of the world' 5
MADJEZ 3 years
Controversial Ofcom verdict on Clarkson's comments on "The One Show" 0
Gourd Almighty 3 years

The broadcasting standards body, Ofcom, has decided that Jeremy Clarkson was not in breach of broadcasting rules when, in a November edition of "The One Show", he suggested that striking Public...

Border Agency split in two.. with imaginary line down the middle. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More obvious headline soon...

Queen questioned after stalking diamond thief 0
Immunis 3 years

Police have taken Elizabeth Windsor in for questioning following accusations of stalking by Reg Entwhistle, small time crook and diamond smuggler. Described by police as 5 foot 11 inches with curly...

Duracell range slashed as they lose AAA status 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Synthetic meat grown in Dutch Lab, Kebab shop claims got there first years ago 1
simonjmr 3 years
Frozen Swedish Meatballs to feature on Heston Blumenthal's latest bizarre menu 2
Gourd Almighty 3 years
Cameron: "Nationwide Health Society safe in my hands" 1
yussle 3 years