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McCoist announces visit to 12 Acacia Gardens, Glasgow, GL6 7UP to apologise 0
Underconstruction 3 years

Rangers FC manager Ally McCoist has announced that he will secretly meet with Scottish Football Association Panel member Jock Smith to personally apologise for his demand that panel members be named...

Men blame 'out of control' communications technology for relationship breakdowns 5
kga6 3 years

Men worldwide are feeling the strain of increasing relationship communication demands as technology makes them "available to nag, literally anywhere." Widespread internet and phone access mean a man...

Primark UK Baffled by Fake Dubai Primark Store Selling Cheaper Crap than They Do 0
deluca 3 years

Primark, the cheap-as-chips, clothes-made-in-a-Vietnamese-sweatshop, clothing chain, famous for introducing the £3 Business suit and disposable socks for 50p a pair, today reported they were baffled...

New study finds red meat less unhealthy than green meat. 2
Maverick 3 years
Theresa May, George Osborne & Jeremy Hunt to star in new Three Stoogies film 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

hmmm wise guys eh...

MI6 Human Resources manager explains sacking procedure to closed court. 4
bonjonelson 3 years
MI6 agent feared the sack 2
nostra da mouse 3 years
Locusts renounce plague as form of social protest 0
Yikes 3 years

In a surprising move, locusts have abandoned large-scale swarming, citing a growing trend for their message to be misinterpreted or down right ignored. Locust spokesman Dave4,987,398 said: “The...

Doctors rename amnesia "Murdoch's disease" 0
apepper 3 years

Doctors have discovered that memory loss is an infectious disease. One of the main carriers has been identified as Rupert Murdoch. A spokesman explained, "Everyone who's met him immediately forgets...

Police watchdog seeks extra walks and a squeaky rubber chicken. 0
wallster 3 years
Cancer charities say funds drought could lead to hospice ban 0
weematt 3 years
James 'Mr lover-lover' Murdoch denies 'creeping with the girl next door' 5
Skylarking 3 years

News International's gravel-throated press baron James (Shaggy) Murdoch has told the Levenson Enquiry that he 'stands by' his testimony regarding alleged clandestine sexual activity on the the...

Old Wounds Opened by Tupac's Hologram 10
house78 3 years

The hologram of Biggie Smalls is said to be furious the hologram of Tupac Shakur has beaten him to appearing live. Sources close to the hologram of Smalls fear that history is about to repeat itself;...

Creative excellence alive and well at Sky as "Pump My Bride" gets commissioned 1
Crippen 3 years

Creative excellence is alive and well at Sky as "Pump my Bride" gets commissioned. Never before has a tv show combined the panache of Jodie Marsh's "Take Me up the Aisle" with the elan of "Pimp my...

Health experts warn poshness ‘could be hereditary’ 9
3 years

Health experts have warned members of the public to be ‘on their guard’ for aristocratic parents and relatives, after discovering such symptoms dramatically increase the chances of contracting...

Unused hosepipes washed away by floodwaters. 0
Maverick 3 years
Half hearted attempt at organ transplant doomed to failure 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Jeremy Hult to continue as Cunture Secretary 1
weematt 3 years
Wind farms put endangered combovers at risk, warns Trump 1
cinquecento 3 years
Water companies condemn gardeners using torrential rain to evade hosepipe ban. 1
bonjonelson 3 years
Wind Turbines may be moved by forceful Trump 5
seymour totti 3 years
Chipping Norton voted the town we'd most like to see cluster bombed 0
ronseal 3 years
Navy in crisis as government introduce hornpipe ban 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

David Cameron Seen Walking into A Bar 0
GillsImp 3 years

It Hurt! He exclaimed...

Gordon Brown defied UN resolution with illegal war on News Corp 1
charlies_hat 3 years
Queen re-opens restored Shoom Nightclub 0
Old Hat 3 years

Her Majesty the Queen has re-opened South London Acid house club, Shoom, after a lengthy restoration project was finally completed earlier this morning. Danny Rampling originally opened the club in...

Volleyball ogling ban 'unenforceable' admit Olympic bosses 0
jp1885 3 years

Fwoar soon...

After Murdoch Critisism, Fickle UK To Regard Gordon Brown "Worlds Greatest Hero" 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Wolves' Plan B revealed: Shout "Fire" in the main stand 0
Drylaw 3 years
Donald Trump to set up Billionaires anti Wind Farm pressure group "Air Peace" 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

In a bid to thwart the Scottish Executives’ attempt to build a Wind Farm just a couple miles from his luxury golf development “Trumptown” situated on the Aberdeenshire coast, the billionaire...