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Commentators cautious of cockups as Cunt hits headlines 0
grumblechops 3 years

Oh bollocks!...

al-Qaeda terrorist busted putting leaves on railway track. 0
Maverick 3 years
Drought Latest: David Walliams to walk down the Thames for charity 1
yussle 3 years
Footballers union : "Can Rangers transfer ban include other clubs ?" 2
FlashArry 3 years

A representative of the Millionaires Branch of the Professional Footballers Union has welcomed the recent 12 month transfer ban on Rangers, but claims that this does not go far enough, and should be...

Exposed Hunt flaps under pressure 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Planned Amazon funeral service is heaven for some, hell for others 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

Amazon boss Jeff Bezos is quietly confident new plans for an Amazon funeral service will further boost their collosal profits. Speaking at a press conference today Mr Bezos said: "we've been looking...

Chelsea fans in Barcelona "probably just heading to bed now" 0
grumblechops 3 years
Comedians stockpile Jeremy Hunt jokes 1
apepper 3 years

Comedy writers have started to panic over the possible departure of Jeremy Hunt from the government. "Jeremy Hunt is half my act.", explained one writer who wished he wasn't so anonymous. "Now I've...

Bumble Bee applies to Europe after being accused of breaking Laws of Physics 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Nicholas Parsons left powerless as Tories cut benefit of doubt 6
button 3 years
Ed Miliband Calls for James Murdock to Resign 0
HenryMJUK 3 years

.. he has already ! .. (Miliband)good somebody is listening to me at last...

Quantum physicists explain before Wimbledon, Murray is both British AND Scottish 5
bonjonelson 3 years
'Wife's voice' option to be available on TomTom's new 'Sat Nag' 4
Haywood Manley 3 years
Man wakes to find new Tesco in right ear 1
Rizzo 3 years

Stephen Bath, a 44 year old Office Manager from Watford was astonished to find that a Tesco Metro Store had opened for business in his ear canal. After waking from a deep sleep suddenly by the sound...

Old man reminisces the time when ugly things today were cool 0
Dumbnews 3 years
BAFTA’s; No Sherlock? Shit! 0
Thor 3 years
James Naughtie dreading tomorrow's top news item. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
French election version of "Question time" to be titled "je ne sais quoi" 1
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

more who knows when...

Garth Crooks an "outstanding candidate" for England job, says FA chairman 0
clicktingstampz 3 years

The Football Association today dismissed criticism of its efforts to pick a new manager of the English national team, insisting an appointment would be made by “2020 at the latest”., FA chairman...

New lavatory endurance record set by boy with games console 1
Midfield Diamond 3 years

An 11-year old boy has beaten the previous record for sitting on a toilet after spending an entire weekend in the smallest room. Grabbing his Nintendo DS, Jack Connolly announced that he was...

Barcelona 'still haven't given the ball back' claims furious Abramovitch 1
Screenie 3 years

'They still refused to let us have the ball even after the match', fumed the multi-millionaire, 'although to be fair we did give them a bit of a head start; their coach was in the car park ready as...

Historians look for previous example of short-arse French leader tasting defeat 2
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Billionaires join forces to mine haemorrhoids 0
beau-jolly 3 years

A group of high profile billionaires, including film director and bottom plunger James Cameron and Google's chief executive Larry “Nobby” Page, have formed a company to mine haemorrhoids., Using...

CCTV catches Jeremy Hunt jumping up and down on Chinese pavement 0
Screenie 3 years
Amazon apoligises over mixed up order for 2 baskets 5
Rowly 3 years

Adding a basket to the basket can cause confusion, as Mrs T discovered., "These Rush Baskets are very nice, but I got a bit Hampered by the terminology of the ordering dept., I needed to order 2...

Alan Turing papers released by GCHQ show doodles of apples, flowers, and Hitler 4
Nails UK 3 years
Plans for Ackroyd mining annouced in South Yorkshire 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Shakespeare recognised by digital marketing guru for his 'compelling content' 5
ronseal 3 years

The birthday of one of Britain's greatest writers of 'compelling content' has been marked by Tim Crowley, Britain's leading digital marketing creative. "I've no doubt that is Shakespeare was alive...

Weather "unusually average" claims met office 1
apepper 3 years

The UK is undergoing a record breaking spell of typical weather; "The weather hasn't been this typical since 1934, and that was unusually usual.", explained a met office spokesman...

Chelsea furious after UEFA blocks bid to park bus in front of goal at Barca 0
clicktingstampz 3 years

CHELSEA boss Roberto Di Matteo has blasted UEFA for blocking his side's bid to park a bus in front of their goal ahead of tonight's Champions League clash with Barcelona at the Nou Camp., Chelsea...