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Clegg not in Parliament because he was "searching for his rattle". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Vladimir Putin crowned surprise winner of Russian X Factor 7
Gary Stanton 3 years

Vladimir Putin walked off with the Russian X Factor title last night with 98.3 percent of the public vote, despite widespread allegations of vote-rigging. The Prime Minister and horse enthusiast...

CIA Drone going for $100,000 on Iranian Blow-Up TV 0
irregular apple 3 years
Napoleon's head removed after threats. 0
irregular apple 3 years

The stuffed head of French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte was today taken down from the wall of a Devon hotel after numerous threats urging its removal. Hotel owner Claire Carter was surprised to learn...

Chelsea decide to put John Terry out to stud. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Sarkozy to judge Britain's Got Parliament 0
irregular apple 3 years

Sources close to the French premier suggest he has agreed a deal with Simon Cowell's SYCO production company to judge 'Britain's Got Parliament' a new Westminster based reality extravaganza. Sarkozy...

Scotland battered 9
beau-jolly 3 years
X-Factor winners to promote self serve kids sweets ... Pick'n'Mix 0
Kramaring 3 years

bags more soon...

Middle Class diners becoming violent as they 'simply insist' on paying 2
Shandy 3 years

Gastro pubs and over priced French eateries all over middle England have reported a disturbing rise of violent incidents as middle class diners insist on paying for everything. "I like to...

Higgs particle found mounted on wall in Swiss Hotel 0
kga6 3 years
EUthanasia 2
medici2471 3 years

- hat tip beau-jolly...

'Where's Nick?' books to launch for xmas 0
irregular apple 3 years

If they sell out the original title should suffice informs cabinet office...

School Christmas concert geese strangling atrocities supposedly clarinet recital 3
simonjmr 3 years

"What we thought was a clarinet recital was actually seven, ten year olds beating and strangling a gaggle of geese" More soon...

Bullring management ban Japanese Endurance film crew from shopping centre 0
medici2471 3 years
Libyan rebels in line for top ‘smooth rebellion’ award 0
malgor 3 years

Judges in the 2011 rebellion season have given the strongest indication yet that Libya looks likely to take the top spot on the revolution podium. ‘The competition has been really stiff this...

RBS losing £45bn "was bad idea" shock 0
apepper 3 years

It's turned out that the RBS losing a fortune and having to be bought out by the government was not as good an idea as originally thought...

Turkey victory at christmas. 0
Q 3 years

Bernard mathews turkey farms where left reeling today after french judge, I haventee a clueso judged thet under the european human rights act, turkeys where entightled to a family life ...

Ancient pagan godess complains stone statues "makes her bum look big". 1
Al OPecia 3 years
New supergroup Incontinentia girls go strait to number 2s 0
Q 3 years

That was shit lol...

New supergroup Incontinentia girls go strait to number 2s 0
Q 3 years

that was shit lol...

Queen tweets Christmas message 2011 0
Son of Barnabas 3 years

@elizabeth2. Greetings 2 my loyal subjects. Have gorn all trendy this yah innit gr8! lol The corgis say Tweety Christmas. Greek Phil says FU...

Simon Cowell says "I couldn't give a number 2 who's number one for Christmas..." 0
Son of Barnabas 3 years

"I'll still be making sh*tloads of money!"...

Coquettish Higgs Boson glimpse to be announced tomorrow 0
simonjmr 3 years
"Oily" Cameron in danger of US invasion 0
simonjmr 3 years

David Cameron's last minute veto of a new Euro treaty has left him exposed to an uninvited hostile invasion by US forces looking to secure new reserves of Oil. More soon...

Cash joins Buckley spinning in their graves after Leona Lewis adds new victim 9
simonjmr 3 years

Tennessee earthquaked blamed on Cash Spinning in his grave after Leona Lewis's misguided cover of "Hurt". 10 and 11 December 2011 - the days that music truely died - "Hurt", "Cannonball" and...

Man arrested for importuning claims to be transplant surgeon 0
medici2471 3 years
Would-be mum shock at faecal transplant error 0
medici2471 3 years
X-factor audio actually recorded in cat strangling factory admits ITV 0
Screenie 3 years
Further faecal transplant research reveals 81% of people couldn't give a shit 0
Screenie 3 years
People who complain about the faked Frozen Planet scene told Get a Life on Earth 0
Ian Searle 3 years