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Monumental Mason refuses to carve "How's About That Then" on Savile Gravestone 0
Drylaw 3 years
Tories announce Christmas tax 0
kga6 3 years

With the economy still lying on the brink, David Cameron has today announced a Christmas tax, to be enforced from the first of November. The additional 20% tax covers any item that is considered...

Christians pray for fair fight at Cathedral 1
nickb 3 years

“Ring of Prayer” to be used to stage “All Anglican” punch up. In one corner of the ring, Christians who support protestors’ right to occupy St Pauls. In the other corner, Christians who...

Consignment of large wooden crosses arrives at St Paul's 0
kga6 3 years
Australian Court orders kangaroos to "stop hopping about". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Elderly demand luxury canned goods for Harvest Festival 1
nickb 3 years

“We don’t want your out of date butter beans and pilchards, and we’ve got no idea what a butternut squash is,” said Maisie Jenkinson (76), the spokesperson for Mellow Fruitfulness, the older...

Prezza blames 'clowned' credit card for casino spending, 0
witless 3 years

all I ordered was some chips!...

British Merchant Ships to be allowed to carry clowns. 6
Al OPecia 3 years

The Prime Minister, David Cameron, has announced that due to the high risk of feelings of doom during long sea journeys in seas around the Horn of Africa, British registered ships will now be allowed...

Charles pays tribute to Jimmy Savile. Police to reopen Diana case. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Jimmy Savile dies after long battle with reality 4
3 years
Indian cricket team still waiting for 'Jim'll Fix It' reply 2
Perks 3 years
Clarkson's wife hopes cheating husband moves... like Jagger. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Jerry Hall offering support and divorce lawyer...

Newsbiscuit: face us on Twitterbook or something like that... 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Jimmy Saville booked to play Jacob Marley, ghostly jingle jangles abound 1
simonjmr 3 years

Now then, now then young Mr Scrooge let me warn you More soon...

Shops overwhelmed as millions misunderstand "putting the clocks back" 1
apepper 3 years

Clock suppliers all over Britain have had huge queues of people who misunderstood government instructions to put the clocks back. One person said, "A bloke on the telly said we had to change the...

Halloween killer Michael Myers’ family accuse police over excessive use of force 5
Gary Stanton 3 years

The estranged family of ‘probably dead’ serial killer Michael Myers say they ‘want answers’ after a succession of films showed him being hit, manhandled and shot dead several times over by...

Widespread Panic in Scotland after sighting of ‘Big Bright Thing in the Sky.’ 1
josephlewiscox 3 years

Today in Scotland, there was widespread panic as the majority of the citizens were shocked and scared by something large and circular burning through their sky, where according to them, it had never...

"Mr Misfit": New film claims Roger Hargreaves did not write the Mr Men books. 2
deskpilot3 3 years

All of the books actually scribed by a team of male misogynists known only as Mr Ghost, Mr Doddle, Mr Trite and Mr Cashin...

Jimmy Savile - a young life cut short due to tobacco smoking. 0
Iscariot 3 years

Shell suit and fake bling manufacturers say sales are unlikely to be affected by his untimely demise. A street spokesgirl said "Just because he was the prototype, today's chavs have never heard of...

Jim fixed it for me claims struggling Leeds undertaker 5
simonjmr 3 years
Meat tenderizing industry facing tough times 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Sat Nav designer takes criticism wrong way 1
apepper 3 years

More to follow; at least try to follow...

New Gillette shaving cream offers 30% more 30% than competitors 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Saif al-Islam's LSE Thesis evidence in crime against the humanities trial. 4
Al OPecia 3 years
Conservatives call for 31 October be designated as Margaret Thatcher day. 2
simonjmr 3 years
Monica Lewinsky denies writing to Jim 'll Fix It 0
nickb 3 years

Close, but no cigar...

West London suburb terrorised by 'trick or treat' interpretive street dance gang 10
Golgo13 3 years

Families across the London borough of Ealing were left paralysed with fear, unable to go outside last night after receiving a visit from a group of synchronised trick-or-treaters who performed...

Savile's last words; left on Doctor's voicemail: "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!" 0
dvo4fun 3 years

more soon. No doubt...

Shakespeare's plays written by monkey with typewriter. 0
Boutros 3 years

Recent evidence suggests that the Bard's pet monkey was the prolific author of the plays and sonnets normally attributed to William Shakespeare. While the playwright was out drinking at the tavern,...

Drug dealers strike; thousands of users grounded 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...