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Paphitis & Meaden trump Bannatyne's £50,000 offer on arm-breaking contract 5
Qoxiivi 3 years

Fierce competition broke out in the Dragons’ Den last night as all five venture capitalists battled to secure their investment in a potentially lucrative arm-breaking contract. Darren Payne, a...

Chelsea manager to miss first game of season - mum says he has to tidy his room 0
Leeboy007 3 years
Ozzy Osbourne to release cover version of 'Shakin' All Over' 0
Leeboy007 3 years
ITV to be re-launched as AndreTV 0
Leeboy007 3 years
Joey Barton in 'quiet night in with a cuppa tea' shock 0
Leeboy007 3 years
Minehead to be re-named Ballisticmissilehead to keep up with modern times 0
Leeboy007 3 years
Che Guevara T-shirt wearers to be forced to learn the concept of irony. 3
Corrigan 3 years

The Government announced today that people who wear T-shirts adorned with the image of Argentinean rabble-rouser Ernesto‘Che’Guevara will be compelled, by law, to attend a ‘re-education‘...

Former President Mubarek appeared laid-back in court. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Welsh Funerals Now Online So People Don't Have To Go To Wales 0
thesplodge 3 years

A crematorium in Wales is now hosting their funerals online so that people get to watch their loved ones burn without actually having to step one foot inside of Wales. The news has been met with...

Sit-com faces two and a half life sentences for killing Charlie Sheen character 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Welsh Funerals Now Online So People Don't Have To Go To Wales 1
thesplodge 3 years

US to slash defecit by adopting the English billion 2
bonjonelson 3 years
'Total Whiteout' voted top TV gameshow by Inuit viewers 3
jp1885 3 years
Comedians Asked Not To Make Jokes About Somalian Famine 1
Textbook 3 years

as the Somalis have enough on their plates as it is...

Lauded "London By Night" Photographer admits forgetting to take off Lens Cap 1
gaijintendo 3 years

"I spent ages setting up the shot, working on the exposure trying to get everything just perfect, put the lens cap on when it drizzled a little - and the rest is history" The classic shot (very...

Britain poised to celebrate POETS day 3
jp1885 3 years

This week’s POETS (Piss Off Early, Tomorrow’s Saturday) extravaganza is set to be the biggest ever say experts, with a staggering nine-tenths of the population of Great Britain planning to finish...

Duncan Bannatyne regrets announcing "I'm out" after yet another burglary 0
OllieP 3 years

More soon. Hat-tip to Mark66...

Duncan Bannatyne tells kidnapper "I'm in", and undercuts him by £5000. 0
Mark66 3 years
HM Queen embarks on grand state tour using Eurail pass 1
antharrison 3 years

Following the decision of members of the royal family to return from the wedding of Zara Phillips on budget airlines, Buckingham Palace has announced that HM Queen has bought a Eurail pass in advance...

Star left devastated after plea for privacy is accepted 18
William Pumpton 3 years

A well known UK pop star is said to be 'completely devastated' after the British press agreed to honour their manager's plea for privacy during a difficult phase they're going through. The manager's...

Postmen to be allowed to open your mail if you aren't in. 3
bonjonelson 3 years

The Royal Mail today unveiled plans to allow its delivery staff to open parcels or post which needs to be signed for if a householder is not at home. The postmen will be allowed to open any items...

Richard Branson to feature in Channel 4's 'Undercover boss' 1
antharrison 3 years
May-Bowles gets custardial sentence. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 3 years
Sun website users stolen data reveals that all victims were using IE6 1
charlies_hat 3 years
Apparently, It's Cheaper To Watch Crap Football Teams Than Decent Ones 0
thesplodge 3 years

Minister for Spotting Obvious Flaws quits as charities face crisis over cuts 0
FraserWords 3 years

The coalition government was rocked last night by the resignation of the Minister for Spotting Obvious Flaws in Arguments., Calls for the resignation of Amelia Hatstand had been mounting since she...

Last remaining cop not featured on TV makes Big Brother Bid 7
button 3 years

PC Andrew Jenkins feels isolated amongst his colleagues as he is the only remaining police officer in the country not to feature in a fly on the wall documentary. “Thanks to brilliant and...

James Blunt boosts morale of troops in Afghanistan... 13
be reasonable 3 years

by touring in Belgium. More soon...

Anagram arrested in phone hacking scandal. more soon 0
Mrblacker 3 years
Government to power Whitehall with 'Pickles on a treadmill' 0
Mrblacker 3 years

The Energy Secretary Chris Huhne's confirmed a radical plan to cut the Government's carbon emissions and it involves a cabinet colleague. In a statement, Mr Huhne says all lighting in Whitehall will...