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BSkyB staff cafeteria "out of milk", Leveson equiry hears. 1
simonhansen 3 years
Russell Brand ready to come off the Sachs Offenders list 0
simonjmr 3 years
Procrastination society claims ... 0
simonjmr 3 years
2013 most futuristic looking date since 2001, scientists claim. 0
simonhansen 3 years
Sex Tape Makes It Look Worse Than It Was Says Terry 9
Hooch 3 years

Following the release of a sex tape with a woman who is not his wife or official mistress John Terry has argued ‘her run took her into me.’, Many people question how Terry could make such a...

Health Minister admits that she keeps dripping 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Murdoch dumps at Leveson Inquiry 0
Scroat 3 years

Pulling his trousers up, the 81 year old media mogul regarded the steaming pile on the witness stand, then told the Lord Justice Leveson and the legal teams: "If you don't like it you can resign."...

Tornado improves Rugby 4
Sinnick 3 years

[apologies for the predictability, but someone had to say it]...

Equalities minister bemoans lack of Aryan Supermen in banking sector 0
Old Hat 3 years

Equalities minister, Theresa May, has today issued a statement calling for urgent action to address the alarming lack of Aryan supermen occupying top positions in the city. Poor risk-management in...

Scottish Meteorologist forecasts a month's sunshine in three days 1
Underconstruction 3 years
New Home Leveson package means families can host their very own Public Inquiry 2
ronseal 3 years

The Leveson Inquiry is to be turned into a board game for the domestic market. Previously, the Leveson franchise was originally aimed at the legal profession and proved to be one of the longest...

Culture Secretary warns of the dangers of dabbling in the Yakult 4
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

Hat tip to Underconstruction...

Shareholders concerned as BMW announces plans to build Austin Allegro. 4
Boutros 3 years

"Why did we not know about this splendid English car before?" questioned the perplexed BMW Head of Design. "The Mini is so lovely. But now we find out from watching made for TV dramas there were...

Cover up covered up 0
medici2471 3 years
Murdoch deploys "some big boys did it and ran away" defence. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
McCoist announces visit to 12 Acacia Gardens, Glasgow, GL6 7UP to apologise 0
Underconstruction 3 years

Rangers FC manager Ally McCoist has announced that he will secretly meet with Scottish Football Association Panel member Jock Smith to personally apologise for his demand that panel members be named...

Men blame 'out of control' communications technology for relationship breakdowns 5
kga6 3 years

Men worldwide are feeling the strain of increasing relationship communication demands as technology makes them "available to nag, literally anywhere." Widespread internet and phone access mean a man...

Primark UK Baffled by Fake Dubai Primark Store Selling Cheaper Crap than They Do 0
deluca 3 years

Primark, the cheap-as-chips, clothes-made-in-a-Vietnamese-sweatshop, clothing chain, famous for introducing the £3 Business suit and disposable socks for 50p a pair, today reported they were baffled...

New study finds red meat less unhealthy than green meat. 2
Maverick 3 years
Theresa May, George Osborne & Jeremy Hunt to star in new Three Stoogies film 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

hmmm wise guys eh...

MI6 Human Resources manager explains sacking procedure to closed court. 4
bonjonelson 3 years
MI6 agent feared the sack 2
nostra da mouse 3 years
Locusts renounce plague as form of social protest 0
Yikes 3 years

In a surprising move, locusts have abandoned large-scale swarming, citing a growing trend for their message to be misinterpreted or down right ignored. Locust spokesman Dave4,987,398 said: “The...

Doctors rename amnesia "Murdoch's disease" 0
apepper 3 years

Doctors have discovered that memory loss is an infectious disease. One of the main carriers has been identified as Rupert Murdoch. A spokesman explained, "Everyone who's met him immediately forgets...

Police watchdog seeks extra walks and a squeaky rubber chicken. 0
wallster 3 years
Cancer charities say funds drought could lead to hospice ban 0
weematt 3 years
James 'Mr lover-lover' Murdoch denies 'creeping with the girl next door' 5
Skylarking 3 years

News International's gravel-throated press baron James (Shaggy) Murdoch has told the Levenson Enquiry that he 'stands by' his testimony regarding alleged clandestine sexual activity on the the...

Old Wounds Opened by Tupac's Hologram 10
house78 3 years

The hologram of Biggie Smalls is said to be furious the hologram of Tupac Shakur has beaten him to appearing live. Sources close to the hologram of Smalls fear that history is about to repeat itself;...

Creative excellence alive and well at Sky as "Pump My Bride" gets commissioned 1
Crippen 3 years

Creative excellence is alive and well at Sky as "Pump my Bride" gets commissioned. Never before has a tv show combined the panache of Jodie Marsh's "Take Me up the Aisle" with the elan of "Pimp my...

Health experts warn poshness ‘could be hereditary’ 9
3 years

Health experts have warned members of the public to be ‘on their guard’ for aristocratic parents and relatives, after discovering such symptoms dramatically increase the chances of contracting...