Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Jehovah’s witnesses attempt to proselytize god

God almighty, the famously self-employed inventor and property mogul, has revealed that a series of Jehovah’s witnesses arriving at his office for their ultimate holy judgement have attempted to...

2
TobiasBV 13.10.13 9:15am
Titus
Controversial funeral director "digging his own grave" 0
AReader 13.10.13 8:15am
AReader
Archaeologist realises his career is in ruins. 2
Maverick 13.10.13 7:10am
Sinnick
Archeology student moves into new digs

Cap doff to Maverick...

0
Smart Alex 13.10.13 6:41am
Smart Alex
Length of a piece of string settled as 56cm 3
pere floza 12.10.13 11:24pm
Idiot
Wikileaks latest; "Referee Association has whistle blower"

The Referee Association are trying to trace a whistle blowing member. They admit that the interviews aren't going well...

1
apepper 12.10.13 10:47pm
Titus
Large male washed up on Lothian beach

A large male was found beached on a west lothian beach by a member of the public early on Friday morning, Greggs workers arrived and made attempts at refloating the male with sausage rolls and...

0
derskine 12.10.13 10:07pm
derskine
PM pledges to freeze OAPs this winter as energy prices rise

“It has to be done” said Dave “there’s too many of them scrounging bastards in the world because of Labour.” “Old people have never done anything except be old. Society don’t owe them...

2
farmer giles 12.10.13 8:43pm
Squudge
Press propose toothless charter as alternative to parliaments inept one 0
FlashArry 12.10.13 8:42pm
FlashArry
Man will remove red-eye from his pics but draws the line at enhancement

Ambitious amateur photographer Karl Watson says he's taken the plunge and removed red-eye from his family holiday photographs but is refusing to enhance them. 'I've removed the wife's red-eye in the...

1
roybland 12.10.13 8:40pm
Boutros
Plumbing supplies business "going down the drain" 2
AReader 12.10.13 7:33pm
FOAD
Discovery of second "World's Best Dad" mug drives harsh revaluation at Christies 1
cinquecento 12.10.13 6:37pm
nickb
Fire Service reveals rise in nuisance ‘building on fire’ calls

The London Fire Brigade today announced an alarming rise in the number of nuisance calls it is receiving to deal with ‘fires’ in buildings, detracting from its core work of running small...

0
newsfelch 12.10.13 5:07pm
newsfelch
Cut-price brothel business "on its knees" 1
AReader 12.10.13 4:44pm
Cinders
Labour To Abandon All Press Curbs Provided They Never Mention Miliband's Dad

or the fact that he was a Marxist. (I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it...

0
Titus 12.10.13 4:40pm
Titus
Miss Piggy and Kermit in 'furious split' after affair revelations

A badly-bruised Kermit the Frog was snapped this morning leaving the Penthouse Apartment in Sesame Street he shares with co-star Miss Piggy after a night of furious rows following the early morning...

0
bonjonelson 12.10.13 4:06pm
bonjonelson
Badgers in Blondie tribute band opt to remove 'Cull Me' from sett list

More highly contrived news soon...

0
Smart Alex 12.10.13 2:23pm
Smart Alex
US Government shutdown delayed to install updates 6
AReader 12.10.13 1:29pm
Oxbridge
Prosthetics manufacturer "on its last legs" 0
AReader 12.10.13 1:14pm
AReader
Agnostic terrorist fails to blow self-up in the name of confusion

A devout agnostic from London is said to have attempted to blow himself up on a southbound tube yesterday, but failed due to a lack of conviction. This is the first in a terrifying string of failed...

1
TobiasBV 12.10.13 1:07pm
AReader
Venezuela orders ten million Dan Brown books from Amazon.com

Dan Brown books found to be "sensibly priced, easy to read and absorbent"...

0
AReader 12.10.13 12:39pm
AReader
Refugee crisis deepens as Badgers flee war zone

Each night small groups escape the danger areas, shuffling along sniper alley (M4) towards temporary asylum in camps around Swindon, or “Hell on Earth” as it is often described. The refugees...

0
rogerg 12.10.13 12:38pm
rogerg
Procrastination Day postponed until next week. 0
Boutros 12.10.13 12:28pm
Boutros
Historian who specialised in Eunuchs wins Nobel Prize 0
Scronnyglonkle 12.10.13 12:28pm
Scronnyglonkle
Cosmic Ordering Service goes into liquidation

In a shock announcement, the largest wish-list provider in the cosmos has been declared bankrupt, leaving many millions of customers unlikely to ever receive their orders. ‘This is the largest...

2
Ludicity 12.10.13 11:22am
Jesus H
New horror flick shows holidaymakers eaten by vultures:' Carrion Camping' 1
sydalg 12.10.13 11:07am
godly1966
Electric chairs withdrawn from market due to static in upholstery 0
sydalg 12.10.13 10:45am
sydalg
The Cosa Nostra to bail out the US

The Treasury was pleased to announce that Paolo 'Crazy Eye' Calamari' would be extending a 'high-interest short-term loan' to the US, with the President's body to be 'offered as collateral'. Wall...

0
Wrenfoe 12.10.13 9:19am
Wrenfoe
World wonders how we ever managed before the Higgs Bosun was found... 0
Tripod 12.10.13 9:02am
Tripod
Michael Gove now using time machine in war on children, reports Polly Toynbee 0
ronseal 12.10.13 7:57am
ronseal