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Bank of Mum and Dad to be nationalised after sub prime pocket money scandal. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Lemmings down 4%. More $oon. 1
red 3 years
Homosexual Offended By Homophobia 2
Textbook 3 years

A homosexual man today said he was offended by homophobia. "When I see homophobia against homosexuals it offends me homosexually" said the homosexual...

Italian finance minister to boost markets with striptease 0
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

Italian Finance Minister Carla Romagna has promised 'a stiff response' to market jitters over a possible default by her debt-laden country. Addressing parliament she vowed to take off an item of...

Countryside Alliance wants more affordable rural housing - but not round here... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Italian economy joins long list of things Berlusconi has fucked 4
Qoxiivi 3 years
MP's facing 'impossible choice' between two huge fibbers 0
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

MPs' say they have no plans to call Piers Morgan for questioning over the hacking of Heather Mill's phone; while they struggle to decide which of the bare-faced whopper-mongers they should believe....

Mareseatoatsanddoeseatdoats, andlittlelambsaretasty. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Climate change groups observe that Ramadan is occurring "later than last year" 3
Nick McCarr 3 years
'Lurve' doctors working more hours than ever 4
jp1885 3 years

The NHS has come under fire once again after a Panorama report showed that it is ‘systematically failing’ lovesick Britons by cutting back on the number of trained 'lurve' doctors. It has also...

Rock ‘n’ roll voted ‘the new rock ‘n’ roll’ 8
jp1885 3 years

Performers and fans alike are celebrating today after a nationwide poll officially named rock ‘n’ roll as the new rock ‘n’ roll. Rock ‘n’ roll was knocked from its 50 year place in pole...

Pepsi delighted after £300m Coke seizure 3
simonjmr 3 years
Jeremy Clarkson. 10
Al OPecia 3 years
The longer you live, the more likely you'll reach the age of 100 say experts. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Insurance company pays out after meerkat free gift causes house fire. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
New Zealand All Blacks questioned by Met over haka scandal. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Smartphone addiction rising among thick people 2
Christopher Frost 3 years
World's most allergic man slams 'rubbish' hayfever sufferers 1
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

A slight upturn in the weather has seen people all over the country, who didn’t play in the dirt enough as children, recommence sneezing, sniffling and discussing the pollen count. But Paul Masters...

Research shows 90% of ideas are derived from excrement from bulls 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Ed Miliband escapes jail after leaving Balls and Cooper in 40°C campervan 6
OllieP 3 years

Ed Miliband has admitted neglecting Ed Balls and his wife Yvette Cooper during their annual summer holiday in Carlisle after the two Labour politicians were left alone in the child-locked cab of a...

Clinton to launch new 'Fuck Off and Die' cards 1
Leeboy007 3 years

to be sent to bosses everywhere ( sorry bad day at work )...

After Hacking Claims Admitted, News International Return Leg to Heather Mills 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Obama asks birthday well-wishers to send cash instead of the usual gift vouchers 1
button 3 years

I used to love getting a 50p sellotaped into an envelope! Although i don't recall having a debt crisis when i was 6...

Scotland to get deep fried broadband. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Merseyside Police sack 5 Officers for 28.8 actions leading to gross misconduct 0
virtuallywill 3 years

more later...

Camden drug dealer declares bankruptcy 0
Leeboy007 3 years

now his best client has passed away...

"MPs are sexual magnets" agrees Eric Pickles, whilst rubbing his nipples 0
thackaray 3 years
Last remaining cop not featured on TV makes Big Brother Bid (version 2) 2
button 3 years

PC Andrew Jenkins feels isolated amongst his colleagues as he is the only remaining police officer in the country not to feature in a fly on the wall documentary. “Thanks to brilliant and...

UN Declares Genocide "Bad" 1
Textbook 3 years

Brutal tyrants who wanted to purge their lands of hated ethnic minorities with the approval of the international community, had their hopes cruelly dashed when it was announced that after a long...

'Most valuable' plastic 2 litre bottle of cider sells for £7.50 0
jp1885 3 years