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"Clear browsing history" to be made 11th Commandment

God has announced He can no longer stand idly by and watch the devastation caused by careless men who walk away from their PCs leaving their wives to gape in horror at the list of sites they've been...

5
sydalg 09.10.13 11:52am
sydalg
Silent church wins No-bell Prize 0
sydalg 09.10.13 11:40am
sydalg
EDL leader quits amid fears Simon and Garfunkel have designs on his wife 0
sydalg 09.10.13 11:36am
sydalg
12 year old from Hackney has mid-life crisis

Benji Hanwell, a 12 year old from Hackney, has had a mid-life crisis. Mates say the change happened suddenly, the moment Benji noticed he was starting to grow a beard. Since, they claim, Hanwell has...

3
TobiasBV 09.10.13 11:25am
TobiasBV
Tock is cheap, says discount watchmaker 0
sydalg 09.10.13 11:22am
sydalg
Queen 'too frail' to carry Commonwealth Games baton across 70 countries 0
custard cream 09.10.13 10:37am
custard cream
Cowell to Launch 'The Hunger Factor'

Following the downward slope of the X-Factor, with ratings dropping quicker than Cowell's label Syco can shed former contestants, the music mogul has come up with a new idea after watching movie 'The...

0
Flugelbinder 09.10.13 10:37am
Flugelbinder
'Shifty-looking' workmen lay perfect tarmac driveway for pensioner

A gang of workmen of a 'shifty' appearance have laid a perfect tarmac driveway for a Sheffield pensioner. 'My suspicions were aroused as they were shifty-looking, dressed suspiciously like workmen...

2
roybland 09.10.13 10:31am
roybland
BBC One +1 to be dedicated Maths channel 0
Sinnick 09.10.13 10:30am
Sinnick
Man says he actually wouldn't mind waking up as a gigantic insect

Retired supermarket worker Gregory Smith says it wouldn't bother him if one morning he woke up to discover he'd metamorphosed into a gigantic insect. 'I can't see it being a problem,' he said. 'A...

4
roybland 09.10.13 10:18am
MagicMike
Coalition to launch Help to Buy Bread Scheme

Chancellor George Osborne is to announce a plan to help people who at the moment can't afford to buy bread. About 60 million people will benefit from the Help to Buy Scheme, details of which have...

0
roybland 09.10.13 10:18am
roybland
Cancer cells "quietly confident" of beating human 5
Yikes 09.10.13 10:04am
MagicMike
Man United players rift over who's been most unwell

After a short run of bad form, the players of Manchester United have reportedly come to blows over who was most poorly during such lackluster performances. The trouble began when defender Rio...

3
TobiasBV 09.10.13 10:03am
MagicMike
Government To Privatise Royal Males

A spokesperson claimed that privatisation would increase efficiency in freeloading, reduce restrictive practices such as in-breeding and would encourage greater competition amongst sycophants. The...

1
paulo 09.10.13 9:57am
Titus
BBC launch BBC1 minus 1 - for those who can't wait for their programme to be on.

More an hour ago...

1
NewBiscuit 09.10.13 8:52am
Titus
God Denies Working In Mysterious Ways

Following a spate of natural and man-made disasters around the world since well, the year dot; hitherto unknown Turkey baster Paul Chinnup of King's Lynn, Norfolk, claims to have been selected to act...

9
Flugelbinder 09.10.13 8:10am
Flugelbinder
Warhol predicts "Every Newsbiscuit contributor to be famous for 15 megabytes" 1
Smart Alex 09.10.13 7:50am
Jesse Bigg
Wahay! Immigration Stats Lost In Space....

Clueless government's remedy..Send two vans round London, with anti-immigration slogans on the sides., Cor, what a cock up!...

0
Jesse Bigg 09.10.13 7:41am
Jesse Bigg
Dave renamed BBC1+1 year 3
Lens Cap 09.10.13 7:32am
Wrenfoe
5 year olds found to carry additional 'why' chromosome 11
cinquecento 09.10.13 7:31am
Wrenfoe
Cameron to set up Helpline for people who live in Hull

Following a recent trip to the north, David Cameron has pledged, if re-elected, he will set up a help-line to comfort people who live in Hull. The support group will be there 24/7 hours a day, he...

3
TobiasBV 09.10.13 7:14am
Squudge
Tommy Robinson leaves EDL for British Gas

more hot air soon...

3
Squudge 09.10.13 7:02am
Squudge
Big Upset In Fleet Street.....?

New Adonis magazine, The Lairy Male, could cause a title clash with The Mail. ...

2
Jesse Bigg 09.10.13 6:50am
Jesse Bigg
England team told not to bother

England’s bid to qualify for the 2014 World Cup has been dealt a massive blow after fans asked, ‘Why do you bother to show up?’ Even though the national side is expected to scratch out...

0
Hooch 08.10.13 11:56pm
Hooch
IoW newspaper stuns readers with more information in the story than the headline

An Isle of Wight local newspaper today stunned readers by publishing a story on its web site with slightly more information in the story body than the headline. Login or Register to Comment on this...

4
clarksn 08.10.13 10:10pm
Titus
Olympic torch to visit 'most precious' Russian places

Since the announcement of the longest torch relay in Olympic history, some 65000km across Russia and some places claimed as Russian, such as outer space, further details have emerged of the torch and...

7
Squudge 08.10.13 8:23pm
Squudge
Police Arrest Identity Thieves - Or Perhaps Someone Claiming To Be Them 6
Titus 08.10.13 8:01pm
Squudge
BBC1+1 to show all programmes before BBC3 0
davetwojackets 08.10.13 7:18pm
davetwojackets
BBC1+1 to join forces with BBC3 to become BBC5 0
davetwojackets 08.10.13 7:10pm
davetwojackets
Low-Tech green car discovered, "The used car" 0
Dumbnews 08.10.13 6:41pm
Dumbnews