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Maude Bullish about petrol storage ideas 0
monkeechicken 3 years

Minister for the Cabinet Office, Francis Maude has defended his plans for the public storage of fuel today. Speaking outside the Houses of Parliament, Maude was bullish about his suggestion that...

US face transplant success offers solution to Labour concerns over Ed Miliband 6
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Labour supporters are said to be ‘cautiously optimistic’ today after news of a successful face transplant in the US opened up the potential for quietly replacing a worryingly inept party leader...

Scientists discover new 'heat' description 0
Exiled Royal 3 years

Up until now there have been three different colours to describe heat: Red Hot (just hot), White Hot (very hot) and Blue Hot (extremely hot). But now a group of scientists from London University...

Cook chill manufacturer "too chilled to cook" 0
nickb 3 years
Food critics insist Greggs pasties will continue to be zero rated 1
charlies_hat 3 years
It gets worse for jailed Twitter-Twat as US seeks extradition 0
ronseal 3 years

That Welsh bloke who was jailed for tweeting stupid racist stuff is to face an ordinary rendition to an American State Penitentiary, under Britain's new draconian One Way Extradition Treaty. [I'M...

NHS to strike next week.... 0
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

Francis Maude advises people not to panic and just make sure they have adaquete supplies of scalpels, X-ray machines, rubber gloves, heart monitors, scanning equipment , antibiotics and Viagra...

Sex Mad Clam Finally Finds Love 0
GillsImp 3 years

It was reported that a clam apparently unsuccessful in finding a partner has pulled a muscle...

EU forces Poundland to go metric. In future will be known as Kiloland. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Stockpiling at the Pumps 0
GillsImp 3 years

I actually saw this for myself. Loads of people at my local petrol station leaving stock on the forecourt. The council will have a job clearing all the mess...

The Mighty Drive 0
Theodore Sprangshaft 3 years

Peter Allen.' A man in Norwich claims he has discovered a cure for apathy but first the weather'...

Come into the Garage, Maude 0
pinxit 3 years

The career of Tory Cabinet Office Minister Francis Maude was said to be 'up in smoke' today after he advised the public to store petrol in their homes. Maude urged people to take "sensible...

BBC to axe 140 news correspondents 0
grumblechops 3 years

The BBC has announced its intention to cut 140 positions from its News department as part of an attempt to slash over £200m from its budget. The move has been criticised by a number of experts and...

Secret lives of vegetables exposed on WikiLeeks 0
Smart Alex 3 years

That's shallot...

Pope eagerly accepts Fiddle Castro invitation 0
medici2471 3 years
Israeli Olympic team to occupy Palestinian accommodation "for safety reasons." 0
ianrbland 3 years

"The Palestinians will easily be able to squeeze into the generous 4 man dormitory we have left for them, however, we will have to cut off any water and lighting for their own safety" said a...

Vatican investigation into Drug taking reports many Nuns have a habit 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

The report also goes on to say a culture of wine drinking is rife amongst priests...

Clegg: "£100 for dinner with me is the limit - I can't afford any more". 0
ianrbland 3 years
London 2012: Surface-to-air missile defences for Olympic Games 0
Exiled Royal 3 years

Surface-to-air missiles could be used to protect the skies over London during the 2012 Olympic Games. Defence Secretary Philip Hammond said they would be rolled out if military top brass decide they...

No. 10 cancels order for hot tub. More soon. 0
ianrbland 3 years
Viagra addict kicks habit - says he didn't find it hard. More soon 0
ianrbland 3 years
Cameron comes out fighting in the 'cash for access' row 0
Exiled Royal 3 years

In the light of the Sunday Times revelations that the Tory party are taking money in exchange for access to David Cameron the Prime Minister has come out fighting. Far from distancing himself from...

If it’s a haulage driver you’re after, look no further,insists Yorkshire Ripper 0
Gary Stanton 3 years

Mass murderer, Peter Sutcliffe, has offered to help out in the event of strike by tanker drivers if the government agrees to renew his HGV licence, according to reports. The Ripper has declared that...

David Cameron in shock as "La Tory" restaurant slips places on TripAdvisor 0
quango 3 years

reviewers cite extortionate prices...

Cobra meets to discuss government panic over fuel strike 0
roybland 3 years

The civil contingencies committee Cobra is meeting today to discuss plans on how to deal with government panic over the threatened fuel strike. 'Cameron's panic over the threatened strike could...

Nick Clegg forced to bring UK economy back to earth after David Cameron goes mad 0
Ian Searle 3 years

The Primeminister, working for ToryBlue lost his mind in mid term and threatened to "take the whole country down". Alarmed electors became aware of the incident when the Deputy Primeminister,...

Race on to dive to bottom of porn stars gash 0
RJWinter 3 years

“It's been an exciting week,” billionaire Dick Branston said, "No one has been there since the mid sixties" Four contenders have been working on various “Gash-Boats” since 2005; the race is...

Simon Cowell to offer Burglary Brick a two album recording deal 1
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

Simon Cowell sensationally annouced that the brick used by a Crazed female fan to rob his house has been offered a lucrative recording contract including 2 Albums. Mr Cowell was reportedly impressed...

Price of stamps set to increase to encourage even more people not to use them 4
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Ofcom have announced that controls on the price of stamps will be withdrawn, somehow believing that charging more will help the struggling Royal Mail, rather than encouraging even more people to find...

Google Earth Residents' Association issues notice to 'scruffy' Norway 11
3 years

Chairman of the Google Earth Residents' association Jerome Hanley has finally taken action against a nuisance neighbour. Poorly maintained, scruffy and with several bits missing, the state of the...