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Death Star to close immediately, announces Vader 5
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

The Empire confirmed today it was closing the Death Star with immediate effect, and promised "full co-operation" with the official investigation into the illegal destruction of the planet Alderaan. ...

Duchess's pitiless abuse by media to be launched early, editors confirm 6
FraserWords 3 years

Media chiefs have confirmed they are to bring forward the pitiless character assassination of the Duchess of Cambridge by six months., The move follows urgent appeals from Buckingham Palace., An...

All evil in the world personified in faces of Murdoch and Brooks, say experts 0
FraserWords 3 years

Experts have confirmed that all the evil in the world is personified in the faces of Rupert Murdoch and Rebekah Brooks., A study by theology, philosophy and ethics professors at Durham University...

Public inquiries now Britain's fastest growing industry 0
ronseal 3 years
Fake sheikh applies to be milk drinks editor at McDonalds 0
ronseal 3 years
Tour de France denies taking bribes over race leaders jersey design change 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

The troubled race is again causing headlines, but for once, not drug related. In the entire history of the race the tour leader has always coveted the Yellow Jersey, but news has come that Dolce...

Coulson summoned to Police Station with his toothbrush. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
Derren Brown Finally Uses Mind-Control Powers to Enslave Humanity 2
Fox100 3 years

The world is still adjusting today to the culmination of illusionist and mentalist Derren Brown's plan to enslave humanity, which has been in the making for over a decade. Brown - who has demanded...

IOW Resident ‘Disappointed’ at Not Having Mobile Phone Hacked 2
thesnug 3 years

One of the only people in the UK not to have had their mobile phone hacked by the News of the world has expressed his disappointment at being singled out for inattention. Donald Brown of Ventnor in...

Freddie Starr and Ozzy Osborne celebrate NoW demise with bat and hamster meal 0
simonjmr 3 years
Elton to sing 'Don't let the Sun go down on me' at NoTW memorial service 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

"Rebekah took a chance and changed the hacks way of life, but they misread her meaning when she met them, she closed the door and left them blinded by the light" She begged them: "Don't let the...

NewsBiscuit to bid for News Corp. 0
Ostsee 3 years
NOTW hack out on your arse? Write for Newsbiscuit. 9
allmyownstunts 3 years
News Ltd to launch new tabloid "News of the Wrold" next Sunday 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Westminster U-turn on Wheelie Bin Collection 0
Captain Emyr 3 years

Westminster City Council have recently announce that they will not continue with plans to extend the duration between wheelie bin collections to once a fortnight, but have instead suggested an...

1997 Rental agreement for white Fiat Uno with Barcelona plates found in NTW file 6
Al OPecia 3 years
Murdoch to launch new Sunday paper - World of News. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Literalist spends gap year working in Gap. 2
Golgo13 3 years
News International to "mothball" Rebekah Brooks for ten years. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
NoTW to publish 'Name and Shame' final edition 4
Mrblacker 3 years

News International has confirmed that the final edition of the News of The World will be the most scandalous ever, with just lists of names and allegations. The 168-year-old paper, the first Rupert...

Potter Film Heralds Long Awaited Death of Evil Master: Murdoch Buys Horcrux 0
wolfie 3 years

do you ever see them both in the same place?...

Careless hacking causes paper cut. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Jamie Oliver seeks backers for 'All About Me' self-serving restaurant - 2 37
3 years

TV chef and child-naming expert Jamie Oliver is looking for support for a new self-serving restaurant. 'All About Me' will be unique in the over-priced food segment, with less focus on organic food,...

Oh, that's all right then, says everybody as Murdoch closes NoTW 0
FraserWords 3 years

More identical newspapers soon...

Newsbiscuit.com to close down due to "factual" stories and rogue writers 0
thackaray 3 years
Piper mystified by Stow-on-the-Wold cancellations 0
3 years
Free pull-out phonebook with next Sunday's News of the World 0
Mother 3 years
Sophie Ellis Bextor arrested over a spate of dancefloor murders 14
grottymonty 3 years
I couldn't help noticing but men and women use shredders differently - 2 35
iRonA 3 years

Women always seem to insert only a few sheets at a time so as not to jam it but men on the other hand always seem to see what is the most they can get away with. I think there is definite scope for...

Revenue from final edition of NOTW will be used to pay off phone bill 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years

No more soon from those scummy bastards...