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Clearasil agree to sponsor footballers accused of spot fixing

no spots left soon ....

Not Amused 03.04.14 4:33pm
Not Amused
Nigel 'Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee' Farage Wins Intellectual Debate 0
Titus 03.04.14 4:29pm
UK Referendum Demanded On Independence From Sahara 'To Clear The Air'. 1
Titus 03.04.14 4:17pm
MoD commission 'massive increase' in Lego stocks

The Ministry of Defence has confirmed that it has placed a large order for Lego bricks with the Danish manufacturer. 'We've been evaluating these devices as anti-personnel weapons for some time,'...

throngsman 03.04.14 4:15pm
Footballers arrested over 'spot the ball' fixing

'We think some of these characters may have had inside information,' said Detective Inspector Brookes of the Metropolitan Police Fraud Squad. 'Three weeks in a row a bloody footballer won the...

throngsman 03.04.14 4:13pm
Miss Piggy objects to being called a Labour politician

Going for a Ticker, but if anyone who knows more about the Muppets wants to expand this into a full article, please feel free - and quickly while it's topical...

Sinnick 03.04.14 3:55pm
Seven a day just right, says Scots Health Minister, 'if you're talking whiskies'

The Scottish Health Minister has broadly welcomed the medical profession's recent announcement to increase the daily intake of fruit and veg from five to seven a day. 'We've always accepted that the...

throngsman 03.04.14 3:50pm
Putin parades Duplo through the streets of Moscow

In a display reminiscent of the Soviet Union in the middle of the Cold War, president Putin has led a parade of plastic weaponry through the centre of Moscow. It is thought to be linked to the...

throngsman 03.04.14 3:42pm
Scratchcards to be sold in plain packaging

The government said today that from next month scratchcards are to be sold in plain white covers. 'There's no doubt that they are very addictive,' said one minister, feverishly scratching away at a...

throngsman 03.04.14 3:34pm
It's surprising that Ketamine cures depression. Said no-one. Ever. 0
RobArmstrong 03.04.14 2:46pm
Cigarette packs to feature images of Jimmy Savile to deter smokers 0
custard cream 03.04.14 2:37pm
custard cream
Headmaster Declares Fatwa Against Critics Of His Muslim School 1
Titus 03.04.14 2:35pm
custard cream
US troops now required to kill more US troops than the Taliban

While the Pentagon has heralded their newly themed ‘zero-fatalities-in-Afghanistan’ month, Servicemen in Texas have had to resort to murder-suicide to maintain an acceptable ratio of causalities...

Wrenfoe 03.04.14 1:57pm
Russia signs up to 'Lego for Landmines' treaty

The global campaign to remove stockpiles of anti-personnel landmines is celebrating a significant milestone today, with Russian premier Vladimir Putin putting his signature to the 'Lego for...

NewBiscuit 03.04.14 1:07pm
Genuine 'England' World Cup Replica Knotted Handkerchiefs Only £85 Each

Hat tip to Jesse Big...

Titus 03.04.14 12:56pm
All application packs for Royal Mail shares lost in post 0
Adrian Bamforth 03.04.14 12:48pm
Adrian Bamforth
Ofsted report shock: some 5 year olds 'can't take proper selfies' 0
bookiesfriend 03.04.14 12:40pm
Beer and flour lorries collide:- both drivers battered

rogerg 03.04.14 12:38pm
London man is first victim as deadly Sahara menace falls from sky

A passer-by captures the moment a 35 year old merchant banker was struck down on the City streets earlier today; the first known victim of the so-called 'Sahara Fallout' affecting the Home Counties....

pinxit 03.04.14 12:34pm
Cookie permissions to occupy 99.7% of space on web pages

The Information Commissioner has criticised the ‘cookies’ disclaimer notices on websites as not being sufficiently prominent. “In many cases I can still see the web page behind it”, he told...

deceangli 03.04.14 11:48am
Glasgow Nov 5 spectacle: 3 tower blocks, 2 libraries and the old corn exchange 0
theinvisiblecitychannels 03.04.14 11:09am
Inspired by BBC panel reform, Holy Trinity now to include one woman and one gay 0
cinquecento 03.04.14 11:01am
Mystery disappearance of concern for flight MH370 investigated

The disappearance of concern for Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 is to be investigated by a global task-force. Concern for the missing flight went missing at some point in the last 48 hours, it's...

johnnydobbo 03.04.14 11:00am
Commonwealth Stadium to be demolished as part of opener 0
Bigglesworth 03.04.14 10:50am
Glasgow to be demolished to make way for Commonwealth Games

A spectacular opening ceremony to the Commonwealth Sportsday has been announced by Alex Salmond, drawing together the pyrotechnics of London 2012 and the slash and burn architectural approach of the...

RobArmstrong 03.04.14 10:36am
Satan admits he uses Lego

In a press conference held in Hell today Satan announced that Lego pieces were 'routinely used.' Answering a question from a Polish priest reporting for the Catholic Times he said 'there has been a...

throngsman 03.04.14 10:32am
Tree-hugger mugged, calls copse... 0
Tripod 03.04.14 10:28am
Time Team dog retires after developing an aversion to dinosaur bones 3
Mork 03.04.14 10:22am
SSE to sell England World Cup shirts for £1966

“We have to make up for our energy price freeze somehow” said a PR spokesperson. “This is disgraceful profiteering” said David Cameron, who thought £19.66 would be fairer, whilst Ed...

farmer giles 03.04.14 9:07am
farmer giles
Extremist alleges extremism in other extremists, more soon 0
RobArmstrong 03.04.14 8:58am