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Norwegian police discover polar bear’s 1,500-page online manifesto 8
Qoxiivi 3 years
African bull elephant sold as micro-pig 6
Dick Everyman 3 years

A Burton-on-Trent couple have started legal proceedings against a micro-pig breeder for supplying them with an African elephant. The buyers purchased the ‘pig’ in good faith, only for the...

Asda introduces "slapping friendly areas" for shoppers with small children 14
nickb 3 years

Supermarket chain Asda is to create 'slapping areas' where frustrated parents can legally hit their children without causing offence to other shoppers. "Like it or not, administering reasonable...

Man suffers heatstroke after repeatedly refusing to remove his coat at party. 1
Corrigan 3 years

A thirty-two year old man from Bolton is recovering in hospital today after repeatedly refusing to take off his outdoor coat at a family house party. Ian Stemp collapsed after numerous enquiries by...

Swede arrested over kitchen nuclear reactor. Turnip also being interviewed 1
martin2381 3 years

Any more vegetable related headlines you can think of?...

Rupert Murdoch statement. 0
rebel not taken 3 years

Rupert Murdoch said he has been touched by the messages left on Amy Winehouse's answer phone...

Public Enquiry to review upsurge in Public Enquiries 3
malgor 3 years

The UK government has announced plans for a new Public Enquiry to examine the recent increase in the number of Public Enquiries. ‘We’ve seen a spate of new Public Enquiries in the past few...

Grandson of "Wrong Way" Corrigan in Idaho Drone Disaster 0
Tom55 3 years

Wayne Alexander Corrigan, great-grandson of the famous aviator who in 1938 "accidentally" flew to Ireland rather than California, today directed his Predator drone on missile attack on Elk City ,...

No Frills Treatment On No Frills Airline 0
tezza 3 years

The Irish budget airline Ryanair has attracted significant criticism after it emerged that cabin staff gave a sandwich and a drink to a passenger suffering a cardiac arrest, only to later charge him...

Buddhist monk to become Britain’s new “top cop” 0
DavidW 3 years

The criminal justice community was stunned last night by the news that the new Metropolitan Police Commissioner is to be 49 year old Panjit Sum, currently leader of the South Lambeth Centre for Peace...

E.On increases charges to pay massive 'phone bill. 0
beau-jolly 3 years

Well they call me every bloody day...

Sooty silent on phone hacking claims. More soon 2
nickb 3 years
Vets offer courtesy cat scheme for pet owners 11
Des and Stan 3 years

A Dorchester veterinary practice is offering substitute pets to owners while their beloved animal is being treated. Cat owner Jenny Newby was amazed at what happened when Tuna, her 12 year old...

Tony Bennett does single with Amy Winehouse. Covers 'The bitch was smacked up' 0
MADJEZ 3 years
"Shit-Hole Chic" cited as reason for property price increases in Hackney........ 0
Bismarck 3 years

The news that properties in Hackney were experiencing huge rises in value was put down to the new phenomenon "Shit-Hole Chic", the latest in housing trends. Certain areas of Sheffield, and the whole...

Kate leading the press a merry dance over pregnancy speculation 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

Rumours that the Duchess of Cambridge could be pregnant are continuing, despite her recent behaviour suggesting that she is not, or perhaps she is, expecting her first child. Speculation has been...

Daily Mail offers free "cootie shots" to its readers. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Geoff Boycott's granny better than Sachin Tendulkar. 0
rebel not taken 3 years

Forthright Yorkshireman Geoff Boycott has dismissed claims that Sachin Tendulkar is the best batsman since Don Bradman. Gritty Boycott, who was axed from the England team in 1967 after batting all...

BBC Bosses criticise world events for attempting to distract from phone hacking 1
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Senior figures at the BBC have publically criticised recent world events for attempting to deflect attention away from their ongoing self-righteous reporting of the phone hacking scandal. Since the...

Martian Water plc lifts hosepipe ban. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Blonde Ohio club hostess confirms Tiger Woods is nearly back to his best 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Hero cop saved as crim's bullet is blocked by his wad from News International! 0
ronseal 3 years
Car crash forces Mr Bean to abandon ‘Mr Atkinson’ pilot programme 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Mounting fear that Macca hacker may release Linda McCartney recordings 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Facebook blames Pickles as thousands of confused councillors reveal their asses 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Bank of Mum and Dad to be nationalised after sub prime pocket money scandal. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Lemmings down 4%. More $oon. 1
red 3 years
Homosexual Offended By Homophobia 2
Textbook 3 years

A homosexual man today said he was offended by homophobia. "When I see homophobia against homosexuals it offends me homosexually" said the homosexual...

Italian finance minister to boost markets with striptease 0
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

Italian Finance Minister Carla Romagna has promised 'a stiff response' to market jitters over a possible default by her debt-laden country. Addressing parliament she vowed to take off an item of...

Countryside Alliance wants more affordable rural housing - but not round here... 0
deskpilot3 3 years