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'Muscular' Lib Dem Health Secretary announces revised NHS bill 0
QorbeQ 3 years

In a bid to flex the party's waning political muscle, Liberal Democrat Health Secretary Andrew Lansley has turned his proposed NHS legislation on its head, announcing new plans to retain 24,000...

Clegg to defy Cameron over tying his own shoelaces 0
nilbymouse 3 years

In a further attempt to distance himself from his own utter confusion, Nick Clegg's policy to "disagree within reasonable limits" was again evident today after announcing he would no longer tie his...

Olympic torch to be a carbon neutral solar powered LED lamp, 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

Lord Coe announced today. More global warming bullshit soon...

Campaign to reclaim words that have become rude launched by US Judge David Minge 18
rickwestwell 3 years

American Judge and former US politician David R. Minge has taken a leave of absence from his judicial duties to launch a campaign aimed at "enriching the English language by reclaiming those words...

Queen's Ireland visit delayed by Philip's lack of insults 0
ianslat 3 years

The Queen has confirmed that she would have visited Ireland much sooner but for Prince Philip's inability to think of any racist insults. 'I've wanted to go there ever since the Good Friday...

Labour Party seeks to extend injunction on all media coverage of Ed Miliband 8
OllieP 3 years

The Labour Party has applied to the High Court in a bid to extend the injunction currently in place on all political media coverage of Ed Miliband. The original nine-month gagging order was taken out...

Wife divorces selfish opera singer "during vocal warm up he was all mi mi mi mi" 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
IMF Chief Offered Escape by Hog-Nosed Skunks 0
RogerAbrahams 3 years

NEW YORK - A day after Dominique Strauss-Kahn was refused a $1m bail on an attempted rape charge, a military unit from Managuay offers to rescue him for half the price. Upon arrival at the Rikers...

Clegg to continue with gap year in agreeing with Conservatives 0
virtuallywill 3 years

more next May...

Suspicion Grows Over Brown's Role in IMF Chief Scandal 13
Le Creuset Fiend 3 years

Right. I've never tried this before, so please be gentle! Any suggestions gratefully received! ---------------------------------------------------- Rumours are spreading in international circles...

"Ich bin Ein Dubliner" announces Queen on arrival in Ireland 8
Deacon 3 years
Klingon cricket captain Strauss-Kahn bowls maiden over 1
3 years
Increase in number of tog turds slipped in since the invention of the iPhone 4
gaijintendo 3 years

Apple intends to circumvent this by using the camera to detect upcoming turds as users walk blindly forward whilst reading tedious shit on twitter...

Chris Huhne to cut emissions, will only speed in electric car from now on. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
"Turn down your bed, sir?" The wrath of Kahn. 1
rikkor 3 years
Arnie confesses that termination was not an option 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Severed head surcharge 2
pumpernickle 3 years

Ryan air has been criticized for charging a grieving family member extra for returning home with a severed head.The Spanish coroners office insisted a clerical error had been made when booking the...

Schwarzenegger Still Struggling to Find Film Quote for Secret Love Child Story 1
thisisall1word 3 years
World economy signed over to New York maid in bribes, claim NY investigators. 0
Mrblacker 3 years
Boris Johnson Scandle: Office Confirm That Hair Drawn On By 6yr Old Each Morning 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Prince Philip asks Martin McAleese if he can tarmac palace drive. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Dublin erects ring of steel to protect Irish from Prince Phillip 1
roybland 3 years

Ireland has mounted its biggest security operation ever to prevent Prince Phillip from meeting any Irish people during the Queen's four day visit to the country.  ,  , 'The threat of Prince...

Queen to inspect Irish troops 5
pumpernickle 3 years

Queen Elizabeth 11 will inspect Irish troops tonight after a state banquet has been held in her honour in Dublin.Irish troops in balaclavas will fire their Kalashnikov's in the air,followed by flat...

Barren Women Devastated, After Arrest of IVF Chief 0
mugwump 3 years
Arsène Strauss-Huhne in custody on fresh charges 4
Des Custard 3 years

French financier Arsène Strauss-Huhne was held in custody overnight in Holloway police station as new evidence emerged of taking advantage of a defenceless football club. Mr Srauss-Huhne was...

Trinny and Susannah advise on What to Wear at the Stop Cock This Summer 0
ronseal 3 years

A biblical drought and a bunch of useless asset stripping water companies mean that the high street Stop Cock will be the social hub for many Britons this summer. The queue for water rations will be...

Chinese farm intake of taliban pickers blamed for outbreak of exploding melons 2
Basil_B 3 years
Michael Schumacher Gets Beaten Every Race 4
wolfie 3 years

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha...

EC forces department store manequins to feature more life-like genetalia 0
antharrison 3 years

Following a ruling by the supreme court of the European Union, manequins in department stores are to be required to be in possession of life-like genetalia. The ruling which follow the decision of a...

It happened over 10 years ago, says ex-Governator. 'I couldn't do it again now'. 0
Ostsee 3 years