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Potters Bar witness "heard a bang". It's going to be a long ol' inquest. 9
MrChigleysAunt 2 years
Channel 5 reschedule cricket highlights after the misery at Old Trafford today 0
brownpaperreporter 2 years

more respect later...
Job seekers allowance to be scrapped in favour of job avoiders get fuck all. 6
Basil_B 2 years

Announced Cameron after todays cabinet meeting...
Burglars. Want a 50" plasma TV? Just pick a house with a St Georges flag on it 1
brownpaperreporter 2 years

So you're not disturbed make sure its a day when England play and theyve gone to the pub to watch it...
EasyJet ash test integrity questioned when sensors found outside school discos 0
brownpaperreporter 2 years

and pubs, hospital maternity wards and office buildings but nowhere near a volcano...
Police question Welshman after massive knob painted on Uffington white horse 4
andhrimnir 2 years

during what he claims is "smut hour"...
Lid Dem policy influence holds sway as Custard to be made new national dish. 2
Basil_B 2 years

A triumphant beaming Nick Clegg appeared from this afternoons cabinet meeting making the announcement that custard will be the new national dish, ' Ever since the election I have fought hard with...
Police on alert as another mild-mannered man turns nasty 1
brownpaperreporter 2 years

false alarm its only Hong Kong Phooey, http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:DgxnyUGIUQR4SM:http://www.elfwood.com/fanq/b/r/brebo/hong_kong_phooey.jpg...
Capello orders unpresidented amounts of cotton wool to wrap up Rooney 0
differentgravy 2 years
Syphoning advice from MP enables BP to successfully funnel off oil spill 0
brownpaperreporter 2 years

More expenses techniques soon...
David Cameron and Nick Clegg 'to wed in the spring.' 0
kaisercasino 2 years
Robbie Williams' ego used to block up BP oil spill. 0
kaisercasino 2 years

The recent oil spill crisis has been solved today, when BP officials revealed they had used an innovative new method of blocking the oil spill, using the ego of pop singer Robbie Williams. Robbie...
Jack Charlton put on standby as England World Cup defensive cover gets critical. 0
Basil_B 2 years

Body of Bobby Moore to be exhumed as extra back up should Charlton get injured...
Ken Dodds' Fathers Canine pet is alive and well 4
Svendo 2 years
Dyson unveil new 'Hover-Hoover.' 0
kaisercasino 2 years

Vacuum cleaner manufacturers Dyson have today unveilied the prototype of the much aniticipated 'Hover-Hoover.' The devise, that will be selling under the name of Dyson Air, will be going on general...
Honeymoon period over for Cameron, divorce expected in five years. 0
Basil_B 2 years
Caravan couple in Cumbrian near miss 8
brownpaperreporter 2 years

Looking for eye-witness accounts we spoke to Jenny Digence, 52, obviously shocked and struggling to keep her emotions in check "its tragic, such a beautiful place and such devastation" turning to her...
Ferdinand's injury to relegate Cumbrian Killings to page 5 0
simonjmr 2 years
Media hoping for 'at least 5 more days of 3 page supplements on taxi killings' 1
PluckyMunky 2 years
Three lions on my shirt become real as John Terry is attacked by a pride of them 0
Basil_B 2 years

Forty years of hurt is nothing compared to how John Terrys feeling right now lieing in an intensive care bed in Capetown after being viciously mauled by a pride of lions after taking a walk in the...
Weightwatchers siege enters 7th day - 40 stone lost so far 0
simonjmr 2 years

As the Barnstable Weightwatchers siege enters the 7th day, dieticians are estimating that they are now down to the last 7 packs of weightwatchers boiled sweets. The unconfirmed combined weight loss...
TV’s Handy Andy now just plain Andy 0
dicky37 2 years

The wife of ‘Handy Andy’, DIY expert in popular BBC show Changing Rooms, has revealed people should refer to her husband as just Andy, since it’s 'far more factually correct'. Long-suffering...
Widow of actor David Carradine seeks damages from makers of Stranglewank 0
simonjmr 2 years
Catalogue of Errors to go online 1
Des Custard 2 years

The official Catalogue of Errors is to go online in the near future, it has been announced. The catalogue, an essential source of reference for almost all public enquiries, will be accessible to...
Scientists find link between sunshine and dressing like a twat 0
Svendo 2 years

Scientists studying the effects of sunshine on the human brain have produced a report detailing their findings. Professor Arthur Preston said "It's a given fact that in cold weather people tend to...
Shell offer BP Dutch Cap 0
andhrimnir 2 years
Cumbrians to be trained to shoot from other end of gun. More soon. 2
Ostsee 2 years
Lack of Context Sees BP Place Small Hat on Leaking Well 0
Svendo 2 years
EasyJet to fit all aircraft with safety canary 3
Ludicity 2 years

All EasyJet planes are to be fitted with a ‘safety canary’, to provide an early warning system against flying into clouds of dangerous volcanic ash. ‘The canary system is foolproof,’ said...
Voyeur to attempt the 3 peeks challenge 4
MrChigleysAunt 2 years