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Weaker ants now forced to shop at ALDI say scientists

A report published in the Myrmecological News this week reveals that an increasing number of ants working here in the UK are no longer able to bench-press fifty times their own body weight., The...

Nerys Hughes 26.06.12 8:08am
The Prodigy recalled over fire risk 0
bonjonelson 23.06.12 7:34am
Greece knocked out - England through to the last 6

As Greece followed the Czech Republic crashing out of Euro2012, England progressed to the last 6 of a major overseas tournament for the first time in over 20 years. "Joining the likes of your...

Mr Target 24.06.12 10:38am
Mr Target
Germany kick Greece out of Europe

More later...

Ian 23.06.12 6:20am
American Gun Nut Ted Nugent Finds A Good Hunting Buddy In Cannibal Luka Magnotta

Ted Nugent, the flaming redneck of rock and gun fame, who was most recently in the news for 'suggesting' that Obama and his Cabinet be beheaded, has found himself a new hunting buddy. “That damn...

23.06.12 1:26am
Michael Jackson's tombstone "getting whiter" 4
grumblechops 25.06.12 7:20am
Many still critical condition after "day of inaction" from homeopathic doctors

Some hospitals around the country are close to meltdown as they struggle to deal with the aftermath of the recent one day strike by homeopathic doctors. Homeopaths are angry at changes to their...

grumblechops 23.06.12 9:46am
Suicide Bombers Greeted In Paradise By 72 "Sturgeons" After Koran Typo 1
TiffindeVere 23.06.12 9:03am
Nunnion Splendacular
"Gordon Ramsay Actually Ronald McDonald in Disguise" claims Michael Winner 0
TiffindeVere 22.06.12 10:04pm
"Nigella Lawson Pads Her Bra With Meringues" claims Delia 0
TiffindeVere 22.06.12 10:01pm
Homeopathic Contraceptives Found To Contain Tiny Amounts of Babies 4
TiffindeVere 24.06.12 7:18am
"Stevie Wonder Not Blind, Just A Brazen Liar" Claims Andrea Boccelli 0
TiffindeVere 22.06.12 9:57pm
London 2012 Cockney cull condemned as savage and unnecessary

International condemnation is mounting after plans to cull up to 5,000 East London cockneys in advance of the 2012 Olympic Games were leaked to the media. The plans, allegedly authored by Lord Coe...

bonjonelson 24.06.12 7:14am
Psychiatrist prescribes new anti-depressant called ice-cream 1
Dumbnews 22.06.12 10:05pm
Potato fraudsters target supermarkets

Tesco, Sainsbury's and Morrisons have joined forces to tackle the rise of potato scammers. Lawrence Martin, spokesman for the retail giants, explained that consumers had reported worrying signs of...

custard cream 22.06.12 7:18pm
custard cream
Lloyd Webber To Pen Pygmalion Broadway Spoof "My Fair Ladyboy" 0
TiffindeVere 22.06.12 6:46pm
QI Answers "All Made Up", Says Fry 0
TiffindeVere 22.06.12 6:44pm
Latently Homosexual Bees Suffering Allergies "Come Out In Hives" 2
TiffindeVere 22.06.12 10:54pm
Cameron On Welsh Literacy: "I'd welcome it". 0
TiffindeVere 22.06.12 6:36pm
Hairy Bikers Show Axed After Gilette Sponsorship Deal 0
TiffindeVere 22.06.12 6:30pm
Cowell To Launch Make-Up Talent Show "The Max Factor" 1
TiffindeVere 22.06.12 6:34pm
Innuendo Watchdog To Be Launched As Part of Cameron's 'Big Society'

An independent governing body that will monitor practitioners of smut-laden innuendo is to be launched later this year as part of a government scheme to "reinstate a basal level of moral decency in...

TiffindeVere 23.06.12 3:37pm
Nunnion Splendacular
Hey Nonny-Nonny NO! NO! NO!

News has emerged that ‘sides’ of Morris Men are to be outlawed between 1st of July and 30th September this year. The popular, some will argue, summer's evening beer garden and village green...

Duff 22.06.12 9:57pm
Prince Philip to ask McGuinness "and what do you do ?" 5
Sinnick 28.06.12 6:09am
Sir Alan Sugar's New Apprentice Sacked for Failing to Give "120%"

A spokesman for Sugar’s company revealed this morning that Lord Sugar “will not be collaborating with 2012 Apprentice Winner Ricky Martin” on the proposed joint-venture that constituted the...

TiffindeVere 23.06.12 12:07am
Michael Richmond-Coutts, Laird of Kunthaire: An Obituary

Michael Richmond-Coutts, 2nd laird of Kunthaire, was born and raised in a small, working-class mining village which his parents had specially built for him in the grounds of their Surrey estate....

TiffindeVere 22.06.12 9:34pm
Prince Philip 'Hid Silverware' During Obama's Palace Visit

A Buckingham Palace insider has revealed that the Duke of Edinburgh hid Her Majesty the Queen’s extensive collection of silverware in a locked closet during Obama’s visit to the Palace. ...

TiffindeVere 22.06.12 9:39pm
Dali art theft suspect makes getaway on an elephant on stilts. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.06.12 5:17pm
Prince Edward's TV Production Company to Film Royal Conception

Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex, is working on a three-part episodic show with his newly-reformed production company which hopes to capture on film for the first time in history the moment of...

TiffindeVere 22.06.12 5:39pm
Queen to shake McGuiness' hand "If he rinsed after last piss" says Palace 4
dvo4fun 23.06.12 10:41am