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Heisenberg successfully appeals speeding fine

"You can prove how fast I was going, or where I was, but not both" he argues in his defence...

5
NewBiscuit 01.08.13 11:26am
Skylarking
Scientists say plans to clone mammoth "wooly" 1
CulchaVulcha 01.08.13 11:04am
beau-jolly
New site launched for businesses to review customers 4
Dumbnews 01.08.13 10:46am
beau-jolly
Brighton shock at £15 parking fee - "It's far too low"

Brighton council have promised immediate action at the revelation that they charge up to £15 to park in the town. "That's far too cheap.", explained a council spokesman. "People think the council is...

0
apepper 01.08.13 10:34am
apepper
Stafford hospital to become a branch of Dignitas

It was revealed today that Stafford hospital has been sold to Dignitas for an undisclosed sum (but not very much). A spokesman for Dignitas said: 'It's brilliant! We just put Dignitas stickers over...

1
John Wiltshire 01.08.13 10:21am
Yikes
Mugabe predicts he will win by 247,681 votes

'Just a rough guess,' he says...

0
John Wiltshire 01.08.13 9:55am
John Wiltshire
Cat wonders why the Earth is round

"Are you a clever dick?" says pointless fat ugly nobody Anne Widdicombe in her usual irritating voice...

0
farmer giles 01.08.13 9:50am
farmer giles
Massive cock impregnates woman

An absolutely massive cock is reported to have made the wife of one of his best friends pregnant. The huge prick, who has yet to make a statement on whether or not the reports are true, had...

1
jamsieoconnor 01.08.13 9:18am
Yikes
Fears of Ballot rigging as Nick Griffin comes second in Zimbabwian election 0
Scronnyglonkle 01.08.13 9:14am
Scronnyglonkle
Britons must be extra vigilant according to advice issued by Bloke In The Pub

British Citizens have been advised not to travel abroad this summer. If they do, they are advised to take a series of precautions, according to a new warning issued by intelligence expert The Bloke...

2
ronseal 01.08.13 9:08am
Titus
Rihanna to sue clothing store which accused her of wearing clothes. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 01.08.13 8:34am
dominic_mcg
Richard comparison website "doomed to failure"

"Well, it all started when I was sitting in a bar with my twin brother, Wayne", "Hello!", " yeah, my brother Wayne, and we were discussing which was the funniest Dick : Wayne claimed it was Emery",...

8
FlashArry 01.08.13 8:14am
Sinnick
Online spite is a free speech issue, says columnist in The Daily Trollergraph 0
ronseal 01.08.13 7:53am
ronseal
Trolls Develop Hi-Tech Attention-Seeking Missiles 0
Titus 01.08.13 7:19am
Titus
Greatest Number Of 'Most-Extreme-Weather-Since-Records-Began' Events Recorded ..

since records began...

0
Titus 01.08.13 7:12am
Titus
Terrorist Group ‘LookatMeMeMe’ Bomb Threats Made against Female Journalists

Police are investigating threats made by terrorist group ‘LookatMeMeMe’ on social networking site Twitter against several gullible and attention seeking female journalists and politicians....

1
medici2471 01.08.13 6:50am
Titus
Local man comes out as not gay 0
Dumbnews 01.08.13 2:46am
Dumbnews
British tramps under threat: special report

Traditional, native tramps are at their lowest numbers since records began, according to a government report. Destruction of their habitat, increased competition from more aggressive vagrants and a...

21
31.07.13 11:07pm
Titus
F1 news: Hamilton reveals secret of making the tyres last.

"It's really quite simple. You just make the rest of the car first."...

8
Boutros 31.07.13 10:14pm
Boutros
Skateboarding quantum physicist finds his waveboard is made out of particleboard 0
Smart Alex 31.07.13 9:56pm
Smart Alex
Schrödinger lets cat out of the bag - theoretical quantum mechanics is a fraud 11
Ian Searle 31.07.13 9:34pm
Smart Alex
Only 1% of Hardware store products shoppers understand how to use 0
Dumbnews 31.07.13 8:28pm
Dumbnews
Zimbabwe Votes Counted Before The Election "Simply To Prevent Disorder" 3
Titus 31.07.13 8:23pm
Sinnick
Scientist responsibe for Dolly the Sheep triggers Thatcher resurrection panic

The pioneering scientist who created Dolly the Sheep has outlined how cells taken from the late Margaret Thatcher might one day help resurrect the controversial ex-Prime Minister, to the dismay of...

5
Jesus H 31.07.13 8:21pm
Jesus H
World speed talking trophy retained by BT terms and conditions voiceover man

Ted Davis, the voice artist oN BT adverts has won the world speed talking championships for a record tenth time. He puts his success down to squeezing the terms and conditions of BT contracts into a...

3
ronseal 31.07.13 7:30pm
Arthur
Stella Artois go upmarket with French-sounding 'Wifebeatre' - 2

Alcohol fans were celebrating today, as Stella Artois added a further sheen of acceptability to day-time drinking. Stella are keen to build on the success of 'Cidre', a french-sounding...

36
31.07.13 7:04pm
ginty
Tripadvisor users invited to review hospital visits

worst hospital ever - more like one star etc...

4
grottymonty 31.07.13 6:29pm
Titus
Court rules locked-in syndrome sufferers should be left-to-die 8
Backup Brian 31.07.13 6:28pm
Backup Brian
Chinese medics hail world's first lab-grown tiger's cock - 2

The world of alternative medicine took a major leap forward today, as scientists announced they had successfully created an artificial tiger's cock in their laboratories. Ground up and ingested by...

36
31.07.13 6:24pm
ゴルゴ13
Failing NHS to be replaced by instant rewards scheme

The government announced today that the National Health Service is to be wound up and replaced by a voucher system, enabling patients to obtain the medical treatment of their choice. To apply for a...

0
Arthur 31.07.13 5:14pm
Arthur