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World-Record-Breaking Neutrino Tests Positive for Banned Substance 1
tvhack 3 years

The world-record breaking Neutrino that clocked the fastest time ever for a sub-atomic particle has sensationally failed its mandatory post-race drugs test. Scientists at CERN have revealed that the...

Katie Price calls in cops after topless photos not stolen 0
simonjmr 3 years
You wait all day for a bus-sized satellite... 0
3 years
First British queuing school to open in Germany is great success 0
RJWinter 3 years

Ten years ago, Bryan Mayhem from Plymouth opened his first language school (WMYT) in Germany. The school has done so well, that Bryan decided to venture into another area last year: queuing., “We...

BIN-LADEN CLOWN PLOT. 0
yuri_nahl 3 years

Found in the hard drive of the late maniacal super-terrorist Osama bin-Laden, (hidden between risque photo-files of thong wearing ladies in provocative postures), a diabolical plan, reported by.,...

CERN blames 'foreign seven' for speed of light error. 1
Boutros 3 years

It's back to normal at CERN after a scientist admitted to mistaking a foreign seven with a line through it for a figure one that had been crossed out. "These things happen from time to time when...

Daily Mail reader 'died by spontaneous combustion' inquest told 3
Scroat 3 years
'Tsunami' yawn racing towards the nation's capital 6
Screenie 3 years

A tidal yawn of possibly epic proportions is thought to be heading for London and may break tomorrow, a source has revealed. The yawn’s epicentre has been traced to a vegetable contest staged in...

Palestinians agree to send peace-keeping force to Palestine in bid for UN recogn 1
Gerontius 3 years

has anybody seen a 'tion' lying around here anywhere?...

Abba apply for UN recognition. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Public Sector Lego 1
Stephen Norman 3 years

A cabinet minister made a speech today designed to calm fears relating to the possible widespread public sector strikes. The minister explained how “genius” had struck him while shopping in...

Fat People ate the Money 1
Stephen Norman 3 years

World economists were left red-faced today following the publication of a New York Post investigation that reveals the true cause of the 2007 financial crash. According to the 200 page document, the...

Stock market analysts "Too anal" say analysts. 0
yussle 3 years
Top Al-Qaeda terrorist considers having faith job 1
RJWinter 3 years
Changing landscape leaves Einstein agog 1
spoole2112 3 years
Young lad to be thrown into ring with no protection for adults’ entertainment. 0
suwe 3 years

Eddy Miliband (18) is to attempt to triumph after a bout in front of a tough Liverpool audience this week, in the teeth of the doubts of many as to his resilience., Getting the upper hand and...

Einstein's unexpected appearence at CERN silence's time travel doubters 0
spoole2112 3 years
ECG machine market flatlines. 1
spoole2112 3 years

More later...

In an ironic twist, out of control satellite lands on Dale Farm 2
Perks 3 years
"New tree, no..it would change everything" 0
spoole2112 3 years

What was considered for many years as no more than a flippant comment by Albert Einstein on being offered a magnolia tree from his cousin Skwared (an employee of Einstein's favourite garden centre),...

Unexpected demand for DeLorean cars 0
Sinnick 3 years
"Tiger pedicure" business ill thought out claims Institue of Beauticians 0
simonjmr 3 years

Lynx Pedicures more focused and dainty. More soon...

NASA latest: "satellite likely to hit Dale Farm". Tinkers "delighted". 1
Al OPecia 3 years
Seven injured at Italian sign language conference 1
nickb 3 years

Ancora tra un po...

Corrie actress failed to suffer enough in real life fire incident 1
Oxbridge 3 years

Coronation Street actress Eileen Derbyshire has been criticised for getting herself burned on set in a drearily plausible way. Derbyshire, who has played Emily Bishop since the 1960s, reportedly got...

Hacker spontaneously combusts. Firewall "effective" says bank. 0
Crapwerewolf 3 years
Hat sales soar as Nasa warns of Satellite Crash Landing 0
apepper 3 years

With the imminent crash landing of a half ton satellite, sales of hats, particularly of the safety, bowler and top varieties have boomed. One shopper commented that the odds of being hit by the...

Charlie Gilmor's Prison Diaries 12
henry deal 3 years

Life inside is not easy. This is my poetry. https://charliegilmour.wordpress.com/...

Tescos to Cut Prices by £500 Million "per customer" 0
apepper 3 years

Supermarket giant Tescos has announced that £500 million is to be targeted to reducing customer prices and, in response to questioning, went on to claim this would be "per customer". "The simplest...

Troy Davis Left Me His "Guns And Ammo" Subscription. 21
rikkor 3 years

Five issues left! (Drat! I'm going to have to wait a bit.)...