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Arab Spring most likely caused by ‘accident with a jerry can’ , claim experts 4
Gary Stanton 3 years

The popular uprisings that swept the Arab world in the spring of 2011 were most likely the result of Mohamed Bouazizi’s amateurish efforts to decant petrol from a jerry can in the kitchen of his...

Queue to 'panic charge' electric cars enters third week 7
3 years

A queue outside an on-street car charger has been cordoned off by Kensington council, as it extended to an 'unbelievable' third car. Following advice to keep their cars 'topped up' if they happen to...

North of England switched off during Earth Hour 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Apple and Blackberry Crumble 0
anhodika 3 years

Blackberry announce $125mil loss. Apple under investigation for "Working Practices" in China. Government worried that panic buying of custard will cause havoc in Tescos...

Armed Forces strike: Government advice blamed for ‘panic’ Falklands Invasion. 0
HenroPlod 3 years

The UK government has changed its advice for Argentina to, “top up your tanks”, after a panic invasion of the Falkland Islands. On Thursday, Prime Minister David Cameron advised...

Former Monkey Mike Nesmith elected leader of Unionist Party. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Horse Survives Accident 4
GillsImp 3 years

Apparently, according to his owners, he's in a stable condition...

Vin Diesel unhappy about his reputation 3
GillsImp 3 years

Vin Diesel has threatened to sue the UK government over slurs that Diesel is in short supply. He stated that he is still available for work...

Petrol Heads Game Show to be Re-visited 0
GillsImp 3 years

the BBC are looking at bringing back the game show Petrol Heads hosted by Neil Morrissey., A BBC spokesperson stated that the time was right to bring back this fantastic show at a time of fuel...

New virus causing irrational and panic buying behaviour has been identified 0
Claire 3 years

A new virus has been identified causing a pandemic amoungst the population. The WHO (world health organisation) have released details of this virus, stating, "it causes irrational behaviour,...

Cameron to feature in new Blockbuster 2
wilkieone 3 years

David Cameron is to feature in a new docu film highlighting his leadership of the coalition government. the film will focus heavily on his policies in particular his treatment of the elderly and so...

Pasty Gate Latest 0
GillsImp 3 years

I built a gate out of pasties. Fell apart when I tried to open it. Smelt good though...

Cameron demands ministerial announcements are subject to gaffe controls. 0
weematt 3 years

Following a long and difficult week Prime Minister Cameron has decreed that all ministerial announcements are checked for gaffes, and any escape is controlled quickly. Cabinet Minister Francis Maude...

Labour "not insensitive to petrol injury woman" claims spokesman, Andy Burnham 0
LittleSpender 3 years
Calls for Maude's resignation intensify as fire breaks out on cruise ship 1
nostra da mouse 3 years
Shock Portas Pilot Town win for Mogadishu 0
flim-flam 3 years

The citizens of war-torn Mogadishu have erupted into a frenzy of celebration as news broke that their city had been picked to become a Portas Pilot Town. The Somalian capital was considered a rank...

"Big Society" To Be Narrowed Down To Two Divisions...... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Division 1: Dave's mates., Division 2: Those who can see the "Big Society" in the 'all together.'...

Eating out: Chip shop chain to use only LowVAT* fryers. 0
weematt 3 years

Cheapass Chips, the popular high street chip shop chain intends to beat the budget by installing an innovative range of ambient temperature kitchen appliances. The new appliances known as LowVAT*...

"What's Happened? Is Something Amiss?", Asks Cameron....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.As a recent poll survey reveals that UK voters are turning into Victor Meldrews. "I don't believe sh(one)t!"...

Tory Petrol Panic A Diversion......... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

To allow Cameron to go on another overseas skive...

Maude defends petrol position; "You should get your chauffeur to decant petrol" 0
apepper 3 years

Government minister, Francis Maude, has explained that he didn't mean for members of the public to decant petrol to store in one of their garages. "Obviously, one's chauffeur should do that sort of...

Greggs launch petrol soaked pasties 0
apepper 3 years

Greggs the bakers have launched a new petrol soaked pasty product. It's sold cold and so avoids VAT yet can be easily heated simply by lighting with a match or lit cigarette. They can also be used as...

Maude's position bolstered as gas flare extinguished 0
medici2471 3 years
Francis Maude to duette with Prodigy at Glastonbury 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

Details of set list to be confirmed...

Police say fire at Francis Maude's garage was just smoke and mirrors 2
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
The Queen to get a new waxing. 0
wallster 3 years
Dolphin friendly tuna invites dolphin to tea 3
nickb 3 years
Strike on hold as fuel drivers receive overtime bonus from Cameron 0
nostra da mouse 3 years
Obama Sin Laden following sexual congress 1
3zincold 3 years

Americans are outraged to hear that their President has allegedly fathered 4 children out of wedlock. The Republican Senate was quick to condemn his extra-marital congress with the youngest wife of...

Francis Maude considers his careers options after call from No 10 2
totnes 3 years

Minister Francis Maude, considers his career options this weekend after many policians declare him the new saviour of carefully measured market intervention. Economists who have long considered the...