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Rooney angry and confused after being asked to sign on the dotted line in pen 0
ginty 17.07.13 5:45am
ginty
Theologians reconsider merits of Holy Books with 1-star Amazon reviews 0
Dumbnews 17.07.13 5:02am
Dumbnews
Pope calls for prayers as God's "running out of ideas"

His Holiness the Pope has admitted that almighty God is scratching around for things to do and has turned to people to pray in some ideas. "In the past, some of his ideas didn't quite work out - do...

3
apepper 17.07.13 12:22am
Arthur
Fears rise in the U.S. of invasion by the U.S.

A steeper-than-expected rise in US shale oil reserves means that there is now a very real threat of a U.S. led invasion on U.S. soil. Pentagon chiefs have already identified local targets, as part of...

2
Wrenfoe 16.07.13 10:30pm
Arthur
Winnie the Pooh " a bit of a shit" recalls Christopher Robin 10
nickb 16.07.13 10:27pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Bill Shankly's 'Life and Death' quote to quit Match of the Day for ITV

Gary Lineker could be forced to use a new quote about football, after Bill Shankly's More Important Than Life and Death quip is to jump ships for ITV. Under the Bosman ruling, the quip is a free...

2
ronseal 16.07.13 10:16pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Poseidon's trident to be downgraded to 'spear'

Not content with halving the UK's Trident submarine fleet, the Lib Dems are proposing a wholescale reduction in all things thematically linked to the Greek pantheon. Henceforth the God of the Sea...

2
Not Amused 16.07.13 9:08pm
Wrenfoe
MCC hit squad sent in to get some runs.

I'm on a roll...

0
deskpilot3 16.07.13 8:54pm
deskpilot3
NHS hit squad sent in to tackle failing Government.

Nurse! The screens.!!...

0
deskpilot3 16.07.13 8:53pm
deskpilot3
George Zimmerman Living In Fear Of Possible Attack By Armed Vigilante 0
Textbook 16.07.13 8:38pm
Textbook
Unsuccessful Lord Chief Justice candidates suffering from penis envy. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.07.13 7:10pm
dominic_mcg
Jady Goody the Opera set to open in East Angular... 1
Tripod 16.07.13 6:59pm
Al OPecia
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is World's First Book and Weather Forecast

The European Center for Medium-Range Weather Forecasts (an actual thing) has forecasted clouds and a fairly great chance of meatballs for Friday in Central Italy. Meteorologists at ECMWF (the actual...

0
jmg16 16.07.13 5:17pm
jmg16
Apathy Society struggling, despite low interest rates. 2
bonjonelson 16.07.13 3:49pm
Lindy Moone
Severe hayfever sufferers angry at talk of a nosepipe ban 3
Not Amused 16.07.13 3:21pm
Not Amused
Businesses could retain customers by not treating them like cunts, says report

A new report has rocked the marketing industry to its foundations, by claiming that keeping customers is remarkably simple. If true, it would mean that marketing gurus, search engine optimisers and...

4
ronseal 16.07.13 2:55pm
ronseal
Man finds his dream date on a surreal palm tree 3
Smart Alex 16.07.13 2:38pm
Wrenfoe
Jade Goody the opera.

It won't be over until the fat lady sings...

0
rob box 16.07.13 12:57pm
rob box
Include same-sex couple of each type of animal or be prosecuted, Noah warned

With the Flood only days away, the well-known patriarch is reported to be outraged after being warned that he faces prosecution under equality legislation when his ark docks on Mount Ararat unless he...

0
sydalg 16.07.13 12:04pm
sydalg
Young playboys unable to sleep due to overheating water beds

It is an undeniable fact that women are a fan of water beds. Uninspiring sex is made bearable as they imagine they are a sensual mermaid, that is unfortunately having to humor the exacerbated seal on...

0
easymoney 16.07.13 11:58am
easymoney
Benefits cap could make domestic help unaffordable, warn opposition MPs 0
A.A.Arkwright 16.07.13 11:47am
A.A.Arkwright
Eltham police review Skittles possession policy

Once regarded as a harmless low-cost confectionery item, Skittles are now under suspicion from South East London police. It's understood that Eltham police at grass roots level have been briefed to...

0
nickb 16.07.13 11:44am
nickb
Egypt Has Hopes High For Newly Elected Dalek Party

After the disillusionment and drama in the aftermath of the Muslim Brotherhood's election win and subsequent rejection, Egypt was searching for a political entity which would gain military support,...

0
Textbook 16.07.13 10:53am
Textbook
Sphinx riddles getting easier, says Egyptian Daily Mail 0
sydalg 16.07.13 10:50am
sydalg
Royal baby to be delivered by hereditary obstetrician

The Royal Family is reported to be delighted on learning that the post of obstetrician at St Mary's Hospital is an ancient title passed down through the male line since the Middle Ages. “It feels...

4
sydalg 16.07.13 10:47am
sydalg
Mexican rock n roll dog has chihuahua wah wah pedal 0
nickb 16.07.13 10:46am
nickb
UK inflation rises due to Saville inquiry spending 0
simonjmr 16.07.13 10:36am
simonjmr
HMRC accused of "passing the Duchy" 2
nickb 16.07.13 10:25am
nickb
Glee's Finn fin 0
simonjmr 16.07.13 9:39am
simonjmr
Upper classes not inbred, claims Sir Crispin Thrumpington-Thrumpington 1
sydalg 16.07.13 9:35am
Yikes