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Milliband on Education :"Everyone must be special, so no one is"

The labour leader's intent to introduce a new technical baccalaureate for the 50% of school leavers who do not go on to university has drawn the following statement from Dr. Edward Jones, Spokesman...

FlashArry 02.10.12 8:19am
IKEA Christmas cards to feature Joseph as single parent 0
Sir Lupus 02.10.12 8:15am
Sir Lupus
Figures for something or other fall 1.4%. Some people are concerned... 0
Tripod 02.10.12 8:03am
Stained Shell Suits Scrutinised In Savile Row 0
pinxit 02.10.12 7:39am
Balls up in the polls shows Balls up in the polls 0
nickb 02.10.12 7:18am
Relief as moronic cries of ‘In The Hole’ fail to land Ryder Cup for US

The world of sport breathed a huge collective sigh of relief at the Ryder Cup result last night after it was shown that shouting ‘Get In The Hole’ at a golf ball after it has been struck...

Midfield Diamond 01.10.12 9:47pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Lab Conference Special Offer: Buy one 4G network, get 100,00 starter homes free. 0
Boutros 01.10.12 9:23pm
Golf trousers to become "more special" 0
nickb 01.10.12 9:20pm
More anxiety for Mars Curiosity mission control team

The communications team were dismayed to hear unauthorised transmissions from the martian surface today. "Warning, Will Robinson .." and "I'm afraid I can't open the pod bay door Dave" were some of...

misterjingles 01.10.12 9:00pm
Vacancies at British Procrastination Society - timewasters need to apply

more when they get round to it...

Sir Lupus 01.10.12 8:22pm
Sir Lupus
Unite Leader condemns Labour conference for a 'lack of opening ceremony'

As Labour’s annual party conference gets underway, Unite leader Len McCluskey has come out and publicly criticised the lack of opening ceremony. As one of the party’s largest donors, he believes...

Perks 01.10.12 7:55pm
Radio One renamed Radio Notsowonderful 0
Drylaw 01.10.12 7:21pm
Shoe shop gives clown great deal on spacial loafers 1
charlies_hat 01.10.12 7:18pm
Facebook releases "Auto-like" feature 0
Dumbnews 01.10.12 6:20pm
Tramp with head stuck in bin in Aberdeen was 'looking for Godot' 0
pinxit 01.10.12 6:14pm
Culling badgers with TB "will only drive them underground" 2
AReader 01.10.12 6:08pm
Milliband will call for Labour and Tories to be renamed ‘Jets’ and ‘Sharks’

In his conference speech on Tuesday afternoon, leader of the opposition Ed Milliband will propose a renaming of the main parties. ‘We’ll be the Jets,’ said Milliband, ‘and the Conservatives...

DustyBinLaden 01.10.12 5:21pm
Jeremy Forrest to receive posthumous Jim'll Fix It badge 1
charlies_hat 01.10.12 4:12pm
"Incompetent" serial killer struck off

Disgraced former serial killer, Ian Moore, has been struck off the Psychopath Register after admitting to a catalogue of errors stretching back nearly twenty years. Moore, who qualified as a serial...

jamsieoconnor 01.10.12 4:09pm
Nasa's Curiosity rover sends back picture of Seagull

The Curiosity team from NASA has been surprised by the appearance of live seagull in one of the photos sent back from the surface of Mars. It seems that the feckless fowl followed the mission from...

robertsonal 01.10.12 4:06pm
Inagaddadavida 'momentary dyslexia' admit Imron Madmin

vertical 01.10.12 4:01pm

of strange lights in the sky over the Vatican have been put down to a the biggist meteorite shower the world has ever seen,lasting over 3 hours.On seeing the magnificent spectacle a frighted Pope was...

Dave Grigger 01.10.12 4:00pm
Dave Grigger
Jimmy Saville

to be dug up and reburied after prankster grave digger admits puting him in upside down with a gravestone reading kiss my ass...

Dave Grigger 01.10.12 3:39pm
Dave Grigger
Gareth Malone to form Taliban Choir

In an attempt to end over 30 years of violence and war in Aghanistan, the perkily posh, quirky choir master, Malone, 37, has reportedly made initial contact with Taliban commanders in Helmand...

Don1 01.10.12 12:18pm
custard cream
Litter bin confounds Aberdeen man

Firefighters were called out to rescue a man whose head was stuck in a public litter bin in Justice Street, Aberdeen. Emergency services were alerted on Sunday evening by a passer by who noticed a...

custard cream 01.10.12 12:16pm
custard cream
Dear Mr John O Farrel,

Id just like to say thanks for the special limited edition Newsbiscuit Bible you sent me,its fantastic,your fantastic to I have all your recoards.Ive read all the Old Testament like you...

Jackaline Hyde 01.10.12 12:07pm
Run away girl complains about teacher's paperwork burden

Megan Stammers, the teenage girl who ran away with her Maths teacher, has admitted that life with the 30 year old hadn’t proved to be quite as she had imagined. ‘I thought it was gonna be dead...

Stan 01.10.12 12:04pm
Dickens or Shakespeare
Weightlifter with OCD struggles to complete clean and jerk 1
LittleSpender 01.10.12 11:44am
“He died doing what he loved best”, says climber’s dad, “flying into a mountain” 6
Tripod 01.10.12 11:28am
Police probe Sussex girls snatch ....

can't believe I've got to this first - thanks Phoenix nights ....

misterjingles 01.10.12 10:25am