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BBC News24 admits 8/10 tickertape typists is mostly illiterit

and aint bovvered nyver. Hmm 'tickertape typists' - a gd song title, he mused...

0
vertical 12.09.12 12:42pm
vertical
Victorious Andy Murray now 'on course' to become TV pundit

US Open tennis champion Andy Murray is reported to be overjoyed at the prospect of ending his days on a TV commentary panel. The Scot came off court in New York almost guaranteed a spot discussing...

0
Darkbill 2.0 12.09.12 12:23pm
Darkbill 2.0
‘Thatcher death t-shirts should be banned’ says Dorset roofer’s bereaved family 0
Midfield Diamond 12.09.12 12:23pm
Midfield Diamond
"Who's Mrs Thatcher?"

Asks Mrs Thatcher...

0
Lucy4 12.09.12 12:22pm
Lucy4
New 2" by 3" TV screen gives armchair football fans the stadium experience

As football fans are forced out of stadiums a new invention promises to give armchair fans the live stadium experience. For one reason or another, there are now thousands of men who can't afford to...

6
ronseal 12.09.12 12:16pm
Midfield Diamond
Steaming Dog Turd slips eight places

A recent poll carried out by Ipsos MORI has shown that the common dog turd is no longer the number one ‘most unwelcome thing to find in your swimming pool’ losing the top spot to Education...

6
Gerontius 12.09.12 10:58am
Golgo13
Thatcher rules out turning in her grave over offensive t-shirts 0
Yikes 12.09.12 10:36am
Yikes
Back to the drawing board for robotic dog

The US military have told the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency that they will need to go back to the drawing board before they are prepared to take delivery of the latest batch of military...

0
Gerontius 12.09.12 10:06am
Gerontius
Steve Jobs to launch iPhone 5 via 'dial in from the other side'.

It appears that before his death, Steve Jobs demanded a new feature be designed into the iPhone 5 - 'dearly departed' contact technology, enabling users to call up the spirit world. "We envisaged...

0
MrQ 12.09.12 10:00am
MrQ
Rhys Onabullfors says his home security business is booming.

No more soon...

0
Not Amused 12.09.12 9:24am
Not Amused
London 2012, Why did it go so wrong?

As the nations Olympic hangover recedes, one question remains and demands to be answered. Where was the flood of international prostitutes promised by the organising committee?, In the months...

0
Reeking Lum 12.09.12 9:15am
Reeking Lum
Maggie praises 'Thatcher death T-Shirts' as perfect free market entrepreneurism 4
charlies_hat 12.09.12 7:42am
Gerontius
***Inadvertant plagiarism****

Read Jesse Bigg's post instead...

0
JohnA 12.09.12 7:17am
JohnA
Las Vegas casino in turmoil after owner orders "massive reshuffle"

More cards revealed later...

23
JohnA 12.09.12 7:15am
JohnA
Council cut-backs to blame for Richard III found in Leicester car park

More soon..you can count on it...

2
Gerontius 12.09.12 7:15am
Gerontius
Matt Damon to star in action thriller prequel: Bourne Yesterday 17
Skylarking 12.09.12 6:37am
Gerontius
Andy Murray “ecstatic” after finally opening beer bottle with eye socket

Andy Murray said it was the best day of his life after finally succeeding in opening a beer bottle using his eye socket during a New York brunch. “I’m ecstatic” said Murray with a weird smile...

1
Yikes 12.09.12 5:53am
Yikes
What do you call a cat with a hat on? A hat cat.

Hat (cat) tip to waylandsmithy...

6
Perks 12.09.12 12:06am
Yikes
National Grid To Stop Promoting Lance Armstrong......

.Switching to Amsterdam white bikes, instead...

1
Jesse Bigg 11.09.12 10:34pm
Jesse Bigg
Apple to face legal challenge over use of the word "phone"

Following the technology giant Apple's recent high profile court case against rival competitors Samsung, it seems the courts need to be braced for more patent and copyright based battles involving...

0
Fox100 11.09.12 10:30pm
Fox100
In Line With The Present Economic Mess...

..Downing Street to be renamed "Going Down Street."...

0
Jesse Bigg 11.09.12 10:00pm
Jesse Bigg
New ministers appointed in "hug a hoody" scheme

Responding to criticism of his government reshuffle, David Cameron has highlighted his bold revival of his “hug a hoody” campaign, with a scheme to offer places in government to the nation's...

6
Sir Lupus 11.09.12 10:00pm
dvo4fun
"Sarawak," Definitely Not A Scouse Term Of Endearment...

Say linguistic experts...

0
Jesse Bigg 11.09.12 9:35pm
Jesse Bigg
King Richard III Car Park Attendant Claims He Was First, Finding Relics....

"Just a hunch, though."...

0
Jesse Bigg 11.09.12 9:16pm
Jesse Bigg
Shuttlecock In Spectacular Fail

Blames tennis, Andy Murray, and miserable bastards...

1
Martin Shuttlecock 11.09.12 8:53pm
Ironduke
Downing Street in turmoil as Newsbiscuit starring system remains under scrutiny 0
Raptor Jesus 11.09.12 8:46pm
Raptor Jesus
Where Are They Now?

As we all deal with austerity and Broken Britain, we take a look back on the things we remember and ask “Where are they now?” The Great British Wino: Once a stalwart of every city centre, the...

18
Quaz 11.09.12 8:01pm
Quaz
Local Man Fails To Fit In

Blames tight twat...

0
Martin Shuttlecock 11.09.12 7:34pm
Martin Shuttlecock
More as we get it. 0
Martin Shuttlecock 11.09.12 7:31pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Scotland's footballers "still Scottish"

More soon probably for ever, in fact...

0
jamesr 11.09.12 7:30pm
jamesr