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Lesbian line dancing to blame for US corn crop failure say evangelists

Searing droughts in the United States which depleted harvests of wheat, corn and soybeans this year has been brought on by the increase in lesbian line dancing say evangelists. Ministers across the...

0
Dick Everyman 09.12.12 11:05am
Dick Everyman
Roman coin leads to marathon three-way romp for balding man

Middle-aged, balding metal detector enthusiast, Steve Radstock, got the surprise of his life when he went to have his recent find authenticated at the Norfolk Heritage Centre in Norwich. "I'd just...

5
SugarTits69 09.12.12 9:46am
DustyBinLaden
Terror organisation 'admit responsibility' for 'legal but immoral' tax avoidance

Following public criticism and protests against multi-national companies and the levels of tax they pay, the spotlight has moved over to Al-Qaeda. The international terrorist organisation has been...

6
Perks 09.12.12 8:02am
Golgo13
New BBC crime show announced - Phallus and Crabs

Meet Phallus - last day on the job, looking forward to retirement, he's seen it all and he's not looking forward to showing a new rookie the ropes. The new rookie is Crabs - young, brash, a rule...

2
custard cream 09.12.12 2:35am
Squudge
Next year "I'm a Celebrity get me out of here" to be filmed at Wormwood Scrubs. 12
Al OPecia 09.12.12 12:27am
Paddy Berzinski
Silvio Berlusconi to return to front-line humping

With his centre-right People of Freedom party trailing in the polls and lacking a publicly-recognised leader, Silvio Berlusconi has pledged to return to public office and 'bang Italy back into the...

0
Long Distance Clara 08.12.12 11:41pm
Long Distance Clara
Al Fyed blames Duke of Edinburgh for nurses aparent suicde 1
Scronnyglonkle 08.12.12 11:28pm
Al OPecia
Golfers unite on Christmas anti-Ryder Cup DVD plea

Golfers across the UK have formed an alliance to dissuade unsuspecting relatives from buying them 'The Ryder Cup 2012 DVD' after concluding that it was quite good when it happened but they don't want...

1
antharrison 08.12.12 11:20pm
Scronnyglonkle
Children exposed to damaging politics on Internet

A new investigation by the NSPCC has uncovered the up to 45% of, children have been exposed to politics while using the internet., The study finds that while using facebook, looking up boy, bands...

0
LaserComet 08.12.12 10:01pm
LaserComet
Mail on Sunday calls for war after nurse murdered by colonials. 0
MADJEZ 08.12.12 9:53pm
MADJEZ
Repro Jim'll Fix It badge sales slower than last year ponders IOW shop owner. 0
MADJEZ 08.12.12 9:52pm
MADJEZ
Sir Trevor Brooking tackles the laws of football head-on

With blatant shirt-pulling, illegal arm-locks and quicksilver shoves in the back now the regulation last line of defence in the Premier League, FA Director of Football Sir Trevor Brooking, reckons...

3
08.12.12 9:37pm
X-Factor finalists fail to turn-up

ITV bosses admitted they were embarrassed by the failure of the three X-Factor finalists to turn-up for the show's grand final. Crooning scouser Christopher Maloney had planned to spend the evening...

1
antharrison 08.12.12 9:36pm
custard cream
World News.

Australian radio station inundated with demands to call Piers Morgan...

1
rob box 08.12.12 9:35pm
custard cream
X-Factor final to decide how J. Arthur ranks. 0
MADJEZ 08.12.12 9:33pm
MADJEZ
Cops arrest Georgie Porgy for 'kissing the girls and making them cry' 1
custard cream 08.12.12 9:30pm
MADJEZ
Cops arrest This Old Man for playing 'nick nack' on kid's thumb with paddy whack 0
custard cream 08.12.12 8:29pm
custard cream
Family of burns victim disappointed at lack of discount at crematorium

really bad taste so apologies if you are offended...

7
custard cream 08.12.12 8:16pm
Paddy Berzinski
New Feature - make up your own joke by adding a punch line

Can you make this genuine news story from the BBC funny? A gold earring disc, found in Norfolk by a metal detector enthusiast, has left treasure experts baffled as to the exact meaning of its...

17
custard cream 08.12.12 7:26pm
quango
‘The Phallus, the Scorpion and the Crab-Snake’ by C.S.Lewis

Here's my effort The story begins sometime during the Roman conquest of Britain.four young siblings Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy are evacuated from Londinium. They are sent to live with Captinus...

2
Gerontius 08.12.12 7:14pm
quango
Nigerian Prince buys Arsenal

Prince Nawamto Kilimanjaro from Nigeria has today bought Arsenal FC for the surprise amount of £5 and has promised fans their long wait for trophies will be soon over. Quoted from Birmingham (where...

0
Gaz 08.12.12 6:23pm
Gaz
Beautiful woman kicked out of bed for farting. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 08.12.12 5:40pm
dominic_mcg
Uuuuuuurrhhhhhhh Custard Cream you young rascal

theres no advantages to being a pensioner except if your in a hostage situation your bound to be released first,or if theres a house fire with little children inside nobodys going to ask you to run...

0
Thubs Swirlim 08.12.12 5:17pm
Thubs Swirlim
Nick Grimshaw accused of 'blood on his hands' as listeners commit mass suicide 1
custard cream 08.12.12 4:34pm
Dick Everyman
Government announces jobs growth funding for Royal baby experts

George Osborne has announced funding for the creation of thousands of jobs across the broadcasting industry for Royal baby experts with at least £6m of private sector investment to keep the story...

4
Dick Everyman 08.12.12 4:25pm
Dick Everyman
Scooby Doo

Now where see who the masked menace is Scoob,pull off his mask and lets take a look at him, Hooooookay Shhhhhaaaaagy..JJJJIIIIIMMMMYYYYY SSSSAVVILLLLEEE!, Yeah its me Jimmy,and Id have gotton away...

2
Thubs Swirlim 08.12.12 4:09pm
custard cream
Norfolk ring first evidence of fall of the Roman NHS

A gold earring disc, found in Norfolk by a metal detector enthusiast, was reported to have left treasure experts initially baffled as to the exact meaning of its decoration. Discovered in Keswick,...

3
Squudge 08.12.12 3:06pm
Squudge
Phallus and crabs earring "firm evidence of Norwich nightclub in Roman Times" 1
Underconstruction 08.12.12 3:02pm
custard cream
Roman earring disc reminds man of his love for his brother.

A Norwich metal detector enthusiast realised how much he owed his sidekick younger brother after finding a rare Roman earring on farmland near their home. Although inseparable, the two brothers...

3
Golgo13 08.12.12 2:20pm
Perks
Evan Davis Stars As Gollum In BBC "Hobbit" Panto

no makeup required...

0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 08.12.12 2:15pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton