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Huhne resigns, still protesting innocence: "I fell into a lifeboat" 0
Son of Barnabas 3 years
Government minister says only smart-arse blacks to be allowed into the country 1
ukvillafan 3 years

The government has today announced that immigrants will only be allowed into the country in future if they are able to command a salary of over £31000 per year. In a document entitled "How we...

Huhne resigns to host new series of Pointless 0
medici2471 3 years
‘I’m Sensing You Know Someone Called Dave’ Predicts Country’s Top Psychic 8
UnoEye 3 years

The entire population of Britain was gripped by the amazing revelations of the UK’s top psychic in the TV event of the century last night. “The Mystic Mondo” (real name Raymond Grimes) amazed...

Cast of Celebrity Big Brother 2011 discovered working as gypsy slaves in Sweden 4
cinquecento 3 years
Battle of sexes latest: women to stop waxing if men give up comb-overs 0
Clarky 3 years

more after I've shaved my legs...

Terry & Huhne to star in sit-com 1
Iscariot 3 years
30th anniversary of Falklands War to be marked by William strafing Buenos Aires. 0
Al McHogan 3 years
Huhne quits cabinet to start driving school. Ex-wife will be behind the wheel. 0
Al McHogan 3 years
Halfords enters financial services industry with tax-free de-ISA 3
Skylarking 3 years

more strained cold weather punsomeness soon...

Old adage 'You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink' disproved 2
Smart Alex 3 years

by man with high-pressure pump, hosepipe, and a roll of gaffer tape...

Pit-stop mechanics banned from garage forecourt 0
Zadok the second 3 years

The entire Williams team of pit-stop engineers have been banned from using a BP garage in Tiverton following several instances of very very fast anti-social behaviour. Garage manager Glen Allen made...

'Speed dating night was mainly just amphetamine abuse', claim customers 0
Immunis 3 years

more later depending on how busy I am at work today...

Brighton bus driver 'even knew my name' says movie-star pig 0
antharrison 3 years
'Top Totty' ale banned from Commons bar, 'Knobhead' still available 0
Scroat 3 years
New dating site submits your profile to every other dating site 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Mini names new car the Paedo in PR gaffe 1
Immunis 3 years
BNP accuse 'Asian population' of causing pensions crises 0
quango 3 years

Demands are for Government to release White Paper on how to resolve the issue...

First Great Western to cancel trains to keep passengers warm during cold snaps 2
Not Amused 3 years

First Great Western announced today that they will be investing in cancelled trains and removed carriages in an effort to keep their passengers warm during cold weather this February and March. A...

Slightly colder weather 'a godsend' say forecasters 0
roybland 3 years

The slightly colder weather reaching the UK this week is 'a godsend' to weather forecasters, according to the Met Office. 'We've had to put up with very mediocre weather conditions this winter,' a...

Pubic wigs evaluated on 2
Smart Alex 3 years
Shock as Masterchef aired without Coldplay in the background 2
kimllfixit 3 years
Redknapp admits to lip movement when lying 0
simonjmr 3 years

Or did he ? More soon...

One week on: Many Chinese still putting 'Year of the Rabbit' on cheques 12
Smart Alex 3 years
Space to be made for 'beneficial immigrants' by recycling white trash 0
pere floza 3 years
Terry to consider Tax Evasion when professional Racist career over 0
tedweasel 3 years
'Abridged Too Far': Directors cut no longer makes any sense... 0
Smart Alex 3 years

Hat tip to Charlie's hat...

Simon & Garfunkel release 30 second classic 'Abridged Over Troubled Water' 7
charlies_hat 3 years
Facebook user who clicked ‘share’ button saddled with $20M portfolio 0
jp1885 3 years

A self-confessed social networking addict is twenty million US dollars in the red today, after repeated use of the Facebook ‘share’ function saw her accidently pledging to buy hundreds of...

Prince William's new dog's name is a tribute to the Dambusters speculation 3
simonjmr 3 years

After it was announced yesterday that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have bought a puppy, speculation has mounted that the as yet unveiled name of the dog is a tribute to 617 Squadron. More soon...