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Healthy living adds days to your life, but removes life from your days 0
Dumbnews 3 years
REPOST Egyptian hieroglyphs early version of Facebook claims archaeologist 2
simonjmr 3 years

Mark Zuckerberg CEO for Facebook has today been served a cease and desist order issued on behalf of the Egyptian government, claiming that he stole the idea for Facebook from the ancient Egyptians....

Computer Simulations Verify that Shakespeare was Originally Written by Monkeys 0
kga6 3 years

New evidence has been found to support the theory that the entire works of Shakespeare were first written by a room of monkeys with typewriters. A recent excavation, just off Henley Street,...

Box containing 200 things worth fuck all found in the solent 0
RJWinter 3 years
Labour leader to apologise for being Labour leader 1
roybland 3 years

Ed Miliband will apologise to this week's Labour conference in Liverpool for being the party's leader. The move comes as a damming opinion poll in the Sun reveals just one in 20 voters think he is a...

Miliband denies trialling prototype invisibility cloak 0
medici2471 3 years

Due to appear in Liverpool tomorrow...

Knox is diabolical, says Italian lawyer - breaking news from 1554 0
medici2471 3 years

no more soon...

Apple unveils 'Appacino', app that downloads coffee direct to your phone 3
tvhack 3 years

Apple has today announced its latest groundbreaking app - the Appacino. For just £2.50 a go, the Appacino will download the coffee of your choice direct to your phone. Apple is convinced it will...

£150m of silver found over 1 mile under the Atlantic 0
Perks 3 years

In other news, Cameron buys Clegg a snorkel as an early Christmas present...

Virtual Monkeys defeated by Windows online help. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Le Constant Gardener, 2011, 1789 mins, (PG) 2
flim-flam 3 years

A high-flying French politician and amateur horticulturalist, Nicolas Sarkozy, finds his monotonous life turned upside down after he falls in love with a beautiful young activist named Carla....

Gordon Brown to give Ed Miliband lessons in sincerity, charm & 'natural warmth' 0
dvo4fun 3 years

More later...

Apple Sues Apple "Deliberately Copying Our Stuff" 0
apepper 3 years

In a largely expected move, Apple is suing itself for "slavishly copying" not only it's range of tablets and phones but also it's "coolness". "It's obvious", said an Apple spokesman. "We produce a...

Wall Street protest grows in New York - Michael Douglas in hiding 0
simonjmr 3 years
Samsung bans Apple, Apple bans Samsung. Real life expected to return slowly. 0
Ostsee 3 years
The Jolly Pit Foundation sues Hollywood superstars over loss of income 0
simonjmr 3 years

The Jolly Pit Foundation based in the South Yorkshire toen of Elsecar has today announced that they are formally suing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie over the confusion caused by their Jolie Pitt...

Brazilian couple stranded in West Country phone for rescue 4
Clarky 3 years

A desperate couple from Sao Paulo were forced to phone relatives in Brazil for help, when they found themselves marooned in the West Country. The pair, whose rented car ran off the road in Cornwall,...

Despite an Uncertain Future, Barcelona Bulls Remain Bullish 0
TokyoTomato 3 years

More than 600 years of history came to an end last weekend as the last bullfight was staged in Barcelona's famous La Monumental. But despite being thrown out of work [i]en masse[/i] into an anemic...

Camouflage clothes sales fall as customers say they are hard to find 2
RJWinter 3 years
Mobius stripper puts clothes back on, inside out. 8
nickb 3 years
'Women Allowed' rock Riyadh 0
spoole2112 3 years

Free from years of repression by the male dominated Saudi music press, local all girl sensation 'Woman Allowed' played their first ever public concert infront of a bemused entirely male audience in...

Egyptian hieroglyphs early version of Facebook claims radical archaeologist 4
simonjmr 3 years

Mark Zuckerberg CEO for Facebook has today been served a cease and desist order issued on behalf of the Egyptian government, claiming that he stole the idea for Facebook from the ancient Egyptians....

Government of Peru overseeing the greatest Pan Pipe talent gap in decades 2
gaijintendo 3 years

There simply are not enough talented pan-pipe players for the main streets of Peru, as all the talent has been lured to Europe. Meanwhile High streets in the UK are presiding through a period of pan...

Eurozone 'moonlight flit' plans emerging as economic crisis deepens 0
simonjmr 3 years
Mungo Jerry dons turban on re-release of his hit 'in the indian summer time'. 4
Basil_B 3 years
IOW unrest continues into the early evening 5
virtuallywill 3 years

It was reported by various news agencies that a mass protest on the IOW was brutally put down by local authorities. Lily of the Valley and Sanatogen Tonic Wine was used to quell the unrest. It is...

Upcoming iPhone 5 to be unlocked for growing looter market. More soon 1
Concerned of Tawa 3 years
Mathematics update... 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Saudi women are now allowed to derive. More soon...

Homeopathic Clowns get funnier the less often you see them. More soon. 5
Al OPecia 3 years
‘Thanks, but no thanks’, say Risen Dead 4
ArseBiscuit 3 years

This year’s traditional Halloween intake of the crossed-over dead have expressed their abject disappointment at the standard of living. The annual opportunity for a few hours amongst the flesh and...