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Daily Prophet closure due to Hex 0
thesnug 3 years

The closure of the Daily Prophet was announced today, following allegations that a rogue reporter used an illegal hex. Many people feel sympathy for the staff of The Daily Prophet, most of whom have...

Face of Christ Spotted in Rebekah Brookes Hair... 0
mugwump 3 years
Savile Row fears decline in demand for Gieves and Hawkes stab vests 0
3 years
Porn addicts told to 'get a grip on themselves' 3
Christopher Frost 3 years
Hollis, Webb, and Harris to reform and remake "Lifes What You Make It" 1
arthurminnit 3 years

or is it just Talk Talk talk?...

Judgementally impaired man buys computer from Chris Langham 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Julian Assange's memoirs leaked online 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
British Gas confirms commitment to lower carbon emissions 0
greg various 3 years

British Gas, today, gave details of their continuing battle to reduce greenhouse gases and subsequent potentially disastrous climate change by disincentivising energy consumption. A spokesman...

Increase In Neighbour Attacks 0
Captain Emyr 3 years

The nation’s usually peaceful neighbourhoods have seen a sharp rise in the number of self-defence incidence taking place inside homes within the last week. Police reports show that there has been...

Economy rebounds on news the rate at which unemployment is rising is falling 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Lack of riots driving Ulster milkmen out of work and into extremism 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years

With fewer public disorder instances, only one group is harking back to the “good old days”. The Ulster milkmen. Terry Dyer, Chair of the Ulster MilkMen Confederation explains “The staple...

All Chinese brands to merge under single brand, "Made in China" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Voicemail CD tops charts : NoW thats what I call NoW 2
charlies_hat 3 years
Pages of 'Razzle stuck together forever after phone hacking saga forces closure. 0
MightyBlair 3 years

Adult magazine ‘Razzle’ is to be closed after allegedly hacking the phone of a voluptuous and sex starved woman in order to get the scoop on a steamy six girl lesbian orgy she had when her...

Peter Stringfellow To Open Club In Kabul 0
Captain Emyr 3 years

Peter Stringfellow has announced an expansion of his table-dancing franchise which will include a club in the Afghan capital. He stated that work will begin soon on refurbishing of a burned out...

Johann Hari to be awarded the 2011 Raj Persaud award for uncreative writing 0
simonjmr 3 years
Norfolk Evening News critic awards film highest local rating - 3 thumbs up 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Minister Resigns over Squirrel prostitution allegations 0
3 years

The Minister at the centre of a prostitution expose has today resigned. A strawberry faced Kenneth Clarke today left Downing Street for the last time after his rambling letter of resignation was...

Ross Kemp tackles his most dangerous subject yet: Ross Kemp on Rebekah Brooks. 11
simonjmr 3 years
Murdoch allows Cameron to hold public inquiry into phone hacking 0
virtuallywill 3 years

More in the super soaraway Sun later...

NOTW readers protest over loss of cryptic crossword 0
MightyBlair 3 years

Extra in a bit (4,4)...

Vulcanologists say Editor 'may explode at any minute' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Huge pressure may cause the Editor volcano to explode sending huge dust clouds in the air that could ground planes. "If it goes its going to be bigger than Iceland"...

People confused by abbreviations boycott Now magazine 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Geldof announces 'Banned Aid' concert to support NOTW employees 0
Mr Payne 3 years
Death Star to close immediately, announces Vader 5
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

The Empire confirmed today it was closing the Death Star with immediate effect, and promised "full co-operation" with the official investigation into the illegal destruction of the planet Alderaan. ...

Duchess's pitiless abuse by media to be launched early, editors confirm 6
FraserWords 3 years

Media chiefs have confirmed they are to bring forward the pitiless character assassination of the Duchess of Cambridge by six months., The move follows urgent appeals from Buckingham Palace., An...

All evil in the world personified in faces of Murdoch and Brooks, say experts 0
FraserWords 3 years

Experts have confirmed that all the evil in the world is personified in the faces of Rupert Murdoch and Rebekah Brooks., A study by theology, philosophy and ethics professors at Durham University...

Public inquiries now Britain's fastest growing industry 0
ronseal 3 years
Fake sheikh applies to be milk drinks editor at McDonalds 0
ronseal 3 years
Tour de France denies taking bribes over race leaders jersey design change 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

The troubled race is again causing headlines, but for once, not drug related. In the entire history of the race the tour leader has always coveted the Yellow Jersey, but news has come that Dolce...