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| Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Last Comment |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Man ‘angry’ as son comes 1,954,343rd in new ranking system Dad of three Anthony Thomas has spoken of his anger today after he discovered his son, Michael, who he admits isn’t the sharpest spoon in the fridge, came an embarrassing 1,954,343rd in the UK’s... |
2 |  |
Jesus H | 17.07.13 1:04pm sydalg |
| Chelsea offer a sack of spuds and a granny for Wayne Rooney Chelsea today dramatically increased the pressure on Manchester United to sell Wayne Rooney, by offering him a sack of potatoes and the unlimited use of a granny. Rooney's spokesman said: 'Wayne... |
2 | |
John Wiltshire | 17.07.13 12:47pm Sinnick |
| Disneyland to allow shooting of costumed stereotype characters who get too close Disneyland in Orlando, Florida has become the first theme park in the world where staff dressed as adorable, stereotype characters can be shot on sight if they ‘step too close’ or appear to be on... |
15 | |
Arthur | 17.07.13 12:44pm Sinnick |
| Hopes fade for NASA technicians without food or water 30 NASA tecnicians have again failed to successfully launch a vehicle on a run to the "butty van" due to adverse wind conditions. They hope to try again later in the day, but time is now running... |
0 | |
grottymonty | 17.07.13 12:16pm grottymonty |
| Simon Bates to be tried for crimes against humanity Following a short but successful twitter campaign, Simon Bates was this morning arrested and taken to The Hague to stand trial for subjecting the nation to the misery and despair of "our tune" for... |
0 | |
grottymonty | 17.07.13 12:00pm grottymonty |
| Prince Charles ‘rough as a dog’s arse’ after pre-baby Royal bender Prince Charles is said to be in a ‘stable but delicate’ condition today after a small measure of Barrogill Whisky to ‘settle nerves’ over the imminent arrival of his first grandchild turned... |
3 | |
Jesus H | 17.07.13 10:54am Squudge |
| Porn fans' outrage as film subtitles revealed to be faked A new scandal has rocked the sex film industry as the subtitle writer for thousands of foreign videos has admitted he was just making it up as he went along and "hadn't the foggiest idea" what the... |
0 | |
sydalg | 17.07.13 10:30am sydalg |
| Man with 13 fingers insists he's "digitally enhanced", not inbred | 0 | |
sydalg | 17.07.13 10:23am sydalg |
| Man arrested in nudist colony for indecent concealment | 0 | |
sydalg | 17.07.13 10:22am sydalg |
| Actor Andy Serkis to name child after 2012 university boat race winning team | 1 | |
Smart Alex | 17.07.13 8:36am Oxbridge |
| America set to invade self after new oil reserves discovered | 8 | |
Squudge | 17.07.13 8:34am sponge finger |
| Police witnessed Ray Wilkins driving from side to side rather than forwards | 3 | |
Backup Brian | 17.07.13 7:13am Scronnyglonkle |
| Cutbacks mean UK only able to end the world on alternate Thursdays | 2 | |
blacklesbianandproudofit | 17.07.13 7:11am Scronnyglonkle |
| Rooney angry and confused after being asked to sign on the dotted line in pen | 0 | |
ginty | 17.07.13 5:45am ginty |
| Theologians reconsider merits of Holy Books with 1-star Amazon reviews | 0 | |
Dumbnews | 17.07.13 5:02am Dumbnews |
| Pope calls for prayers as God's "running out of ideas" His Holiness the Pope has admitted that almighty God is scratching around for things to do and has turned to people to pray in some ideas. "In the past, some of his ideas didn't quite work out - do... |
3 | |
apepper | 17.07.13 12:22am Arthur |
| Fears rise in the U.S. of invasion by the U.S. A steeper-than-expected rise in US shale oil reserves means that there is now a very real threat of a U.S. led invasion on U.S. soil. Pentagon chiefs have already identified local targets, as part of... |
2 | |
Wrenfoe | 16.07.13 10:30pm Arthur |
| Winnie the Pooh " a bit of a shit" recalls Christopher Robin | 10 | |
nickb | 16.07.13 10:27pm blacklesbianandproudofit |
| Bill Shankly's 'Life and Death' quote to quit Match of the Day for ITV Gary Lineker could be forced to use a new quote about football, after Bill Shankly's More Important Than Life and Death quip is to jump ships for ITV. Under the Bosman ruling, the quip is a free... |
2 | |
ronseal | 16.07.13 10:16pm blacklesbianandproudofit |
| Poseidon's trident to be downgraded to 'spear' Not content with halving the UK's Trident submarine fleet, the Lib Dems are proposing a wholescale reduction in all things thematically linked to the Greek pantheon. Henceforth the God of the Sea... |
2 | |
Not Amused | 16.07.13 9:08pm Wrenfoe |
| MCC hit squad sent in to get some runs. I'm on a roll... |
0 | |
deskpilot3 | 16.07.13 8:54pm deskpilot3 |
| NHS hit squad sent in to tackle failing Government. Nurse! The screens.!!... |
0 | |
deskpilot3 | 16.07.13 8:53pm deskpilot3 |
| George Zimmerman Living In Fear Of Possible Attack By Armed Vigilante | 0 | |
Textbook | 16.07.13 8:38pm Textbook |
| Unsuccessful Lord Chief Justice candidates suffering from penis envy. More soon. | 0 | |
dominic_mcg | 16.07.13 7:10pm dominic_mcg |
| Jady Goody the Opera set to open in East Angular... | 1 | |
Tripod | 16.07.13 6:59pm Al OPecia |
| Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is World's First Book and Weather Forecast The European Center for Medium-Range Weather Forecasts (an actual thing) has forecasted clouds and a fairly great chance of meatballs for Friday in Central Italy. Meteorologists at ECMWF (the actual... |
0 | |
jmg16 | 16.07.13 5:17pm jmg16 |
| Apathy Society struggling, despite low interest rates. | 2 | |
bonjonelson | 16.07.13 3:49pm Lindy Moone |
| Severe hayfever sufferers angry at talk of a nosepipe ban | 3 | |
Not Amused | 16.07.13 3:21pm Not Amused |
| Businesses could retain customers by not treating them like cunts, says report A new report has rocked the marketing industry to its foundations, by claiming that keeping customers is remarkably simple. If true, it would mean that marketing gurus, search engine optimisers and... |
4 | |
ronseal | 16.07.13 2:55pm ronseal |
| Man finds his dream date on a surreal palm tree | 3 | |
Smart Alex | 16.07.13 2:38pm Wrenfoe |
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