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Armed Police to patrol railways and underground looking for newspaper sellers 0
virtuallywill 3 years

gentle tap later...

REAL REASON FOR INJUNCTION: GIGGS COULDN'T 'KEEPY UPPY' 0
Nemo 3 years

The truth behind Ryan Giggs's desperate attempt to silence Imogen Thomas is finally out. As the public speculated yesterday why on earth a footballer would try to cover up a tawdry affair with a...

SCIENTISTS SAY THAT USING VIAGARA CAN CAUSE LOSS OF HEARING!! 0
John Wiltshire 3 years
Beelzebub complains to UN about increased use of 'no-fly' zones... 0
be reasonable 3 years
Rapture delayed until October due to volcanic ash cloud... 0
be reasonable 3 years

"I can't even see the bloody Christians from here, let alone lift them up to heaven," said God...

Prince Charles unmasked as father of Harry 0
pere floza 3 years
Rodallega credits fan with Wigan's Premier League survival 1
Tristan Shout 3 years

It was Hugo Rodallega's 79th minute headed goal that gave Wigan the win at Stoke City on the final day of the Premier League season, and with other results going their way, ensured Wigan's place the...

Shock as Twitter reveals that rich footballers enjoy sex with attractive women 3
jp1885 3 years

After challenging British privacy laws after unveiling the subjects of super-injunctions, social networking phenomena Twitter is once again at the forefront of controversy by revealing to millions of...

Victory for common sense as muggle newspaper names He Who Must Not Be Named 12
rickwestwell 3 years

In a move certain to have a major impact on the magical establishment, a muggle newspaper has today defied the power of wizard law and taken the dramatic step of naming He Who Must Not Be Named, the...

Oops... 0
be reasonable 3 years
BBC criticised for 'intrusive talking' during documentaries. 0
be reasonable 3 years

The BBC has been inundated with complaints about 'loud and incessant' talking during documentaries, sources claim. "I couldn't believe my ears" said one complainant, Wayne Peters, an unemployed...

Cod War escalation: Iceland enforces Scotland 'no-fly zone' 0
Izziere 3 years

In a dramatic escalation in tension following the Cod War of the 1970s and 1980s Iceland has tried again to impose a no fly zone over Scotland. Iceland's Minister for Fisheries and War, Sigmundsun...

Iceland praised by media for having a 'pronounceable' volcano erupt this time 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Rooney: "Is her granny still alive?" 0
antharrison 3 years
Osama bin Laden spotted in the Irish village where his ancestors came from. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Dr Ant solves your problems 4
antharrison 3 years

Dear Dr Ant Every morning I wake-up with a dreadful hangover after drinking two bottles of vodka and 15 bottles of sauvignon blanc the night before. I am constantly feeling sick and have developed...

Large Hadron Collider to solve fundamental secret of the Big Society 1
roybland 3 years

CERN is to use its Large Hadron Collider In an audacious attempt to crack one of the deepest mysteries of the universe  -  the fundamental meaning of David Cameron's Big Society.,  , 'We realize...

Obama and Queen both bemoan shit holidays 2
virtuallywill 3 years

No more world leaders to visit Eire soon...

Ryan Giggs nominated for 'Spurts personality of the year' 0
antharrison 3 years
Queen "Lacks Irish Ancestors" 1
Titus 3 years

The Queen's advisors admitted last night that they had "missed a trick" and that President Obama had "pulled a bigger crowd" with his gig in Ireland because of his loudly proclaimed Irish ancestry....

Irish Plane tragedy 8
pumpernickle 3 years

After a two seat plane crashed into a graveyard,Irish rescue services say they have recovered one hundred and thirty eight bodies.Taoiseach to visit scene of tragedy later...

'Greek mythology made-up when we were pissed' admits Oxford professor 4
antharrison 3 years

Ronald Vickers, a Professor of Classics at Oxford University, has admitted that the entire subject of Greek Mythology was invented by a group of drunken lecturers in the 1820s. 'I've found learned...

Man hospitalised over suspected CAPS LOCK rage. 0
Le Creuset Fiend 3 years

A man was last night recovering in hospital after what doctors have described as an "horrific and sustained attack" at his place of work. It is understood that Steve Tillsley, 29, arrived yesterday...

Shock as MP works out how to use twitter 0
TerribleTim 3 years
World leader says "Don't you know who i am?" 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

"Yes. A rapist", replies the maid...

Gordon Brown to Start His Own IMF 0
Deimos 3 years

Ex-Prime Minister Brown’s candidacy for the position of MD of the IMF suffered a setback earlier today as the UK government put their support behind the French candidate. Now Mr. Brown has...

Imogen Thomas granted Counter Injunction under 'restraint of trade' legislation 5
Ironduke 3 years

Moderate Welsh totty Imogen Thomas has been granted a Counter Injunction, after her lawyers argued that banning the media reporting of her romps from bed to bed of the rich and pedally-gifted...

100 miles per hour winds batter Scotland: Scotland batters 100 meals per minute 0
3 years
Woman who sued plastic surgeon laughing on the other side of her face 1
virtuallywill 3 years

no more comment later...

"Some Gaffes Less Serious Than Others" 0
Titus 3 years

Home secretary Ken Clarke has denied claiming that some gaffes are "less serious"...