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Hogwarts becomes second free school closed in a week.

A school for wizards has become the second free school to be closed down in a week. Hogwarts, a publicly funded but independently run free school, was ordered to close after Ofsted inspectors found...

James Pluside 14.12.13 6:42am
James Pluside
Big 6 energy chiefs hire South African interpreter to explain fuel prices 6
Dick Everyman 14.12.13 5:10am
Pyonyang announces Rudolph the Insufficiently Red-Nosed Reindeer Purged

Latest from Peoples News Agency, Pyongyang. Dec 13 11.29 Rudolph the Red Nosed Running Dog of Imperialist Warmongers and Bourgeois Careerism has been purged from the Elite Peoples Reindeer Cadre....

blokefromstoke 14.12.13 12:13am
Manchester United supporter happy to prove he's not a 'Glory Hunter' this season

No more trophies soon...

Not Amused 14.12.13 12:02am
Lens Cap
Scots to be charged for using the English language after devolution 0
raudus 13.12.13 11:53pm
Speak English or lose benefits, Scots told. 8
MADJEZ 13.12.13 11:34pm
Article on negativity online receives flurry of comments supporting article 5
Dumbnews 13.12.13 11:29pm
Obama: "Mandela Speech Misinterpreted By Signer"

Deaf audience members attending the Mandela memorial service became suspicious when the "fake" sign language interpreter began communicating unrelated messages. When Obama said, "It is hard to...

Mike Turbine-Hamilton 13.12.13 11:03pm
New Year's Day predicted to be the coldest of the year so far 0
Not Amused 13.12.13 10:12pm
Not Amused
New Year's Day predicted to be the hottest of the year so far 0
Not Amused 13.12.13 10:12pm
Not Amused
NRA offers free combat fatigues to Colorado schoolteachers

Ammunition to follow...

Crying Out Loud 13.12.13 9:01pm
Crying Out Loud
President of Dangerous Sports Society ‘ate a yoghurt past its sell-by date’... 0
Tripod 13.12.13 8:36pm
Mandela Memorial Signer Previously Worked As Copywriter For NewsBiscuit Spammers 1
Titus 13.12.13 8:18pm
Mandella funeral interpreter apologizes for being all fingers and thumbs 0
Scronnyglonkle 13.12.13 8:13pm
Kim Jong-un denies ‘airbrushing’ enemies: “We have Photoshop”... 0
Tripod 13.12.13 8:12pm
EU to rename Coal Tit "Solar Tit". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 13.12.13 6:42pm
Al OPecia
Michael Gove bags much coveted Herod role in Parliament Nativity 4
nyarlathotep 13.12.13 5:20pm
Rootin Tootin
North Korean pays ultimate price for "sound of one hand clapping" 0
wwwiz 13.12.13 4:04pm
Girl Enslaved By Siblings Groomed At Disco By Young Aristocrat With Foot Fetish - 2

All together now: "[i]Oh, no, she wasn't[/i]...

Titus 13.12.13 4:02pm
Queen to appear on "Celebrity Who Do You Think You Are ?" Christmas special.

The BBC revealed today that Her Majesty the Queen has agreed to appear on a "Who Do You Think You Are ?" Christmas special. A spokesman for the BBC said today that he was delighted that the Queen had...

ron.bruce 13.12.13 4:00pm
Christmas Family Rows Start Early In North Korea

The Dear Leader, Kim Jon-un, recently unfriended his uncle Chang Song-thaek and then (of course, this being North Korea) promptly had him shot, thus decisively preempting any potential disruption or...

Titus 13.12.13 3:11pm
custard cream
Queen “Placed Iron Filings in Nut Bowls”

The Old Bailey was in shock today when it was revealed that The Queen placed iron filings in snack bowls placed around her private apartments in order to determine which patrolling officers had been...

james_doc 13.12.13 2:52pm
A&E units miss 4 hour target. Rogue units have been clocking 3 hours 50 seconds 0
weematt 13.12.13 1:21pm
Cameron executes Miliband

Heard he was planning to overthrow the government...

farmer giles 13.12.13 11:44am
"The History Bots" Voted Nation's Favourite Gay Porn

News that The History Boys was voted the most popular play in the UK this week was given a double dose of good news when the pornographic version, The History Bots, was awarded the same accolade at...

james_doc 13.12.13 9:27am
Interpreters to be replaced by Skippy the Bush Kangaroo

Following the debacle of the Mandela memorial being overshadowed by "fake" sign language, all future international events will be staffed by Australia’s ‘favourite joey’. Skippy will translate...

Wrenfoe 13.12.13 9:04am
Exclusive: Prince Phillip's nuts. 0
Ref Minor 13.12.13 1:00am
Ref Minor
Thamsanqa Jantjie's version of the Macarena storms up the charts 0
irreverendJ 12.12.13 10:38pm
Newsbiscuit welcomes its new cookery guru Fat Bastard

Good evening satire lovers everywhere. After a hard day sniggering at the misfortunes of others more fortunate than you what could be better than a nice bowl of "Prime Minister Soup?" First assemble...

vulture1 12.12.13 9:01pm
Ignore PM comment judge says. 'I WOULD as well but that's irrelevent' 0
MADJEZ 12.12.13 6:34pm