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Analog Televisions angily refute that they are just glorified light bulbs 1
melody 3 years
Vatican Science Academy to replace kilogram with Papal Mass... 7
victory V 3 years

More to come, after a short weight...

‘Whiskey pills’, the new cure for January 2
cskye 3 years

Warming the cockles with a swift scotch may be a thing of the past thanks to a new drug, nicknamed ‘whiskey pills’, which produces the same body heat as downing a triple, without its other head...

Experts advocate weaning men off breasts before 60 years 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Shaun Wright-Phillips “lost” after failing to find way out of Eastlands 0
Gary Stanton 3 years

Concerns were growing last night for out-of-favour Man City star Shaun Wright-Phillips after the player became lost trying to find an exit route from the club’s ground at Eastlands . Following...

katie Vassels grannie admits, since her 15 minutes of fame, things have dried up 0
melody 3 years
Arizona gun victim opens her eyes and says‘I think I should just stay in Alaska' 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years

Can you try a bit harder, please? This would be a half-smile-raising Facebook status update, but it's just not enough for a site that's supposed to be for people who are already half-good at writing...

RSPCB Concerned Over 'Drug-Addicted' Birds 2
scriven 3 years

The RSPCB released a press announcement today warning the public of the threat of drug addicted birds. “Reports have confirmed that the flock of dead starling gizzards in Romania were...

US politician critical after shooting "He could have put me out of my misery" 2
Malcum eggs 3 years
Coalition mulls over the result of the Oldham bye-bye election 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Documents show Ken Clarke was told he is Justice Minister some months ago 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Office for National Statistics downsizing to just Office for National Biscuits 0
Lionel RichTea 3 years

Head of census Andrea Salad "counting people is a right headache and basically depressing, they just never keep still. We'll now just focus on the nations biscuit eating habits. Lets be fair as...

Queen to take a dump 8
malgor 3 years

Buckingham Palace confirmed in a statement today that Her Majesty intends to take a Royal Dump in April this year to mark William and Kate’s marriage. Palace officials had earlier tried to...

Status Quo embark on ‘Still Alive’ tour... 1
Doylem 3 years

Francis Rossi, Rick Parfitt and two other guys in blue denim are going back on the road. They hardly dare stop in case they seize up. But what’s life like on tour for the Quo these days? Francis...

Guinea, Equatorial Guinea, And Guinea-Bissau No Longer Sure Which Is Which 4
Textbook 3 years

Reporters and tourists arriving in one of the three small African states recently have been highly confused by a crowd of individuals bearing signs reading "Welcome To Equatorial Guinea" adjacent to...

Wayne Rooneys ageing Pro policy backfires, scores own goal 0
melody 3 years
Kelsey Grammar a famous right winger denies he subliminally ordered 1
melody 3 years

Jared Loughner to kill...

GM Bird-Flu free chickens exported to Germany, "give them something to chew on" 0
Trini 3 years

less dioxins than german chickens, but three heads...

Manchester City Council urgently seeking job cutting Tsar 0
yussle 3 years

£250k p.a...

America mourns... and reloads... 18
Doylem 3 years
Banana Splits to reform and headline at Glastonbury 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Tra-la-la-la-lal-lal-la...

Cambridge Union students invite porn stars to take part in mass debate 2
Ian Searle 3 years

Sorry couldn't resist...

Worries on Ramsay street over former residents who 'went to live in Brisbane'. 4
MADJEZ 3 years

The News of the World claims that most of them are appearing in panto in the UK rather than being in imminent flood danger...

David Beckham gets Victoria Cross for putting her in the club again. 9
DiY 3 years
Panic buying of Blue Nun and Liebfraumilch after acid tanker sinks on Rhine 9
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
truely independent 0
4ty2 3 years

the most expensive diamond of the world No Appologies - no restraint - no shame...

BBC's attempt of pro ageing policy backfires 0
4ty2 3 years

Atempts of broadcasting countryfile with parental lock for an age-rating 50 featuring Mrs Moist was an attempt to provide the elderly with much needed cardiovascular exercise before bedtime. However...

facebook server crashes due to traffic overload 0
4ty2 3 years

as somone else tried to shift all newsbisquit contributions to facebook. The complaints about the return of all the biscuit bickering coming back onto facebook was cut short when a problem arose over...

Opticians come up with a device that auto-detects Julia Bradbury's smile.. 4
DiY 3 years

to prevent viewers to Countryfile from being blinded...

Tory plans to tax the dead 'unwise', says zombie hoard. 0
Mat2001uk 3 years

"They thought the student protests were bad," their spokesman is quoted as saying...