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Burger King and Pepsi to sponsor terrorism during London Olympics. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Boris J rules out PM aspirations. No he doesnt...yes he he... 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed confesses that he is NoW's Mazher Mahmood 0
charlies_hat 3 years
You pays your money...... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

for a buffoon in London and a bouffant at No. 10...

Boost to UK fruit industry as gorvernment stockpile banana skins 5
apepper 3 years

The government has placed massive orders to replace deplenished stocks of banana skins...

New runway for Heathrow bypasses planning application regulations 0
Sinnick 3 years

Ok, here's a picture:,

Yauch epitaph to be 'I told you I was illin'' 0
3 years
Which is the best Olympic throwing event? Discus. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Navy Seals accused of "juggling fish" while protecting Obama. 0
nickb 3 years
Olympic Boxing no picnic as the knuckle sandwich becomes a thing of the past 2
dvo4fun 3 years

New sports science research has revealed that the vulnerable, complex and delicate bone structure of a boxer’s hand is more at risk of fight-damage than are the two bony lumps in a boxer’s head....

Local bellend visits Starbucks just to give barista fake name 5
Mr Target 3 years

Weeks after high-street coffee giant Starbucks began its "Names on Cups" campaign to personalise their customers' beverage experience, tiresome prick Dave Henderson finally got round to pestering...

Boris and Ken agree to share power till result declared 0
nickb 3 years
Friends and family key to councillor triumph 2
BAJDixon 3 years

Local man Barry Parsons was narrowly elected as St. Mary’s ward councillor last night mustering 13 votes to his opponent's 11 on a record low turnout. Parsons's slightly larger circle of friends...

GP struck off for not telling patients to lose weight and drink less 5
Midfield Diamond 3 years

A disgraced doctor in rural Cambridgeshire who neglected to advise some of his patients to go on a diet and cut down on their alcohol intake has been struck off the medical register. The General...

Office manager using green ink and messenger bag in new round of affectations. 0
Maverick 3 years
Single currency supporters to replace the phrase 'spend a penny' with 'euronate' 1
Smart Alex 3 years
If Rap Songs Really Told It Like It Is 0
3 years

They rap on and on, but those 'songs' the rappers spill from their lips and their hips just seem to go in circles that lead nowhere. Isn't it time they finally listened to non-rap brother Aaron...

NHS to update Waiting Room onscreen displays 16
Sinnick 3 years

[thanks to Midfield Diamond for the idea - maybe we can squeeze a collective Left Alert out of this ? or just have a laugh ] Following criticism that their Waiting Room displays are being ignored,...

Laxative inventor flushed with pride 0
cinquecento 3 years
Bin Laden may have been planning delivery meal 0
MrBen 3 years

The White House has released the strongest evidence yet that Osama Bin Laden may have been planning to order a take-away meal on the evening of his death at the hands of US Navy Seals., US...

General public not interested in the 'public interest' 0
MrBen 3 years
Rodeotherapy cures cowboy's cancer 3
Haywood Manley 3 years
Coca Cola unveil Olympic missile tail-fin design 0
MrBen 3 years

Olympic sponsors Coca-Cola have stuck with tradition to unveil what they describe as "the most stylish surface to air missile of the generation"., The soft-drinks company is keen to deliver the...

Olympic SAM accidentally shoots down swan over Hyde Park 0
grottymonty 3 years
CERN physicist arrested in Al Qaeda plot to implode universe 1
bonjonelson 3 years

French police have charged an Algerian physicist working at the CERN research institute with terrorism offences after he allegedly plotted with Al Qaeda to implode the entire universe. The physicist...

Man awarded OBE for "Services to stating the bleeding obvious" 3
seymour totti 3 years

Graham Swanson, a 46yd old mechanic from Swanley, has been rewarded for "Services to stating the bleeding obvious". His wife, Helen, said "Each year on the 4th of May, he wakes me up with a wink and...

Battersea Drog's home? 0
Screenie 3 years
Widdicombe -in-the-moor voted in favour of having an elected Old Grey Mare 1
Ian Searle 3 years

Uncle Tom Cobbley is delighted. Moor Soon...

Secret Service Fails To Keep Whore-Mongering Secret 4
daneade 3 years

President Obama ordered a full-scale enquiry into the professionalism of the Secret Service after a group of them failed to do what millions of ordinary American men do everyday – keep their visits...

Cameron sees no solution to issues of low polling and Argentinian aggression 0
Yikes 3 years

British Prime Minister David Cameron was left scratching his head after a week from hell which has seen the Tories plunge in the polls, and Argentina ramp up its efforts to lay claim to the Falklands...