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Benedict vs Atheist in WWE SmackDown

Francis to hold his coat...

Coco 24.09.13 8:50pm
Shamed snooker player Stephen Lee to play future matches blindfolded 1
custard cream 24.09.13 8:38pm
Keith Lemon’s agent denies Stephen Fry is lined up for Celebrity Juice

We might line him up, but he’ll probably get stage fright, what with his bi-polar and that. We won’t make him look any more stupid than he already is, don’t worry. Maybe if we get his...

farmer giles 24.09.13 8:34pm
farmer giles
Tian Tian contacts Chengdu Panda Breeding Centre in last minute adoption bid

Effort to save face

Coco 24.09.13 8:33pm
Woman who rowed for 150 days across the pacific finally won the argument 0
Not Amused 24.09.13 8:08pm
Not Amused
Miliband vows to cut Miliband at Next Election

In an unexpectedly violent move, Ed Miliband has vowed to silence critics once and for all by guaranteeing, during the election run-up, a knife fight with his brother ‘to the death’. Mr (Ed)...

SimonJJames 24.09.13 8:04pm
Iain Duncan Smith 'will wash the feet of the poor'

Iain Duncan Smith will wash the feet of the poor as an act of contrition and repentance for the bedroom tax, according to Catholic commentators. The Work and Pensions Secretary, who is a Catholic,...

roybland 24.09.13 7:19pm
World’s oldest gnat dies of gnatural causes

Doctors originally thought it was a killer brain bug attack. Most gnats bite or annoy humans. Midges are also sometimes called gnats. In North America the name is also applied to the blackfly, fruit...

farmer giles 24.09.13 7:04pm
Al OPecia
Disaffected youth says "I can't be bothered, ennuit?" 5
Al OPecia 24.09.13 6:48pm
Al OPecia
Test smoke alarms by pressing button, not by lighting a fire, says fire chief. 0
Boutros 24.09.13 6:36pm
Miliband pledges to freeze polar ice caps 0
farmer giles 24.09.13 6:24pm
farmer giles
Car does 20 miles in 52 years; minicab driver blames "roadworks"

A minicab driver who received a telegram in 1961 requesting carriage to Croydon airport to catch a BOAC flight to Paris, has sent a runner to the customer's house to say he'll be there in 5 minutes...

apepper 24.09.13 5:59pm
Miliband fails to state Labour plastic shopping bags policy in conference speech

Accused by Nick Clegg of ‘dodging the big issues’. Meanwhile, Lidl bought out Tesco today and introduced the new slogan ‘Every Lidl Helps’...

farmer giles 24.09.13 5:13pm
farmer giles
Apple Confirm “Siri” Will Be Voiced By Steve Jobs From The Afterlife

The technology world was rocked today when Apple announced that it had secured Steve Jobs to provide “Siri” answers from beyond the grave. In an unprecedented move the Cupertino giant said,...

SimonJJames 24.09.13 4:44pm
custard cream
Miliband pledges to arrest fat cats

Ed Miliband today promised to pass emergency legislation that would place fat cats under house arrest. In his keynote speech to conference, the firebrand labour leader spoke movingly of the wasted...

Lenny Bee 24.09.13 4:42pm
Lenny Bee
Lidl Littlehampton to close after pronunciation difficulties

The Littlehampton branch of Lidl is to follow the fate of the supermarket chain's first New York City based store. Lidl spokesman Mike Smythe told The Grocer magazine: "Lidl Little Italy was a...

nickb 24.09.13 4:32pm
Midfield Diamond
Porn block "will end random access mammaries" 0
sydalg 24.09.13 3:58pm
Women dismiss premature ejaculator as "Mr Spray-and-dangle" 0
sydalg 24.09.13 3:56pm
Sunderland players now unlikely to train on time 3
Ironduke 24.09.13 3:52pm
Miliband wavelengths of light render policies invisible. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 24.09.13 3:13pm
Al OPecia
Students dropping out of uni on finding iPads full of 'academic shit'

Thousands of undergraduates are dropping out of university on discovering their iPads are full of academic texts. 'I thought it was cool when I got an iPad to use at uni,' said Brad Baker, who is...

roybland 24.09.13 3:12pm
Toddlers ‘excited’ by post-watershed content

The BBC Trust has said that CBBC and Cbeebies should extend their programming beyond 19:00, to target the nocturnal needs of a younger generation craving late night depictions of ’graphic...

Wrenfoe 24.09.13 3:11pm
Boots Pharmacy launch tablet 20
Loundshay 24.09.13 2:56pm
Sunderland Final Straw Revealed: Di Canio's New Kit Designed by Hugo Boss

It was revealed today the final straw that caused Sunderland players to demand the sacking of Paulo Di Canio. Apparently at his final team meeting he unveiled a, admittedly very stylish, new kit...

SimonJJames 24.09.13 2:48pm
Ronnie Wood found in Irish peat bog

but doubts are raised as carbon-dating identifies the remains as being a mere 4,000 years old...

Landfill 24.09.13 1:21pm
British Adventurer argues with herself all the way from Japan to Alaska

Oh wait sorry, Adventurer "Rows Solo" from Japan to Alaska...

Flugelbinder 24.09.13 12:21pm
New aerosol USB device gets limp response 0
J Vine 24.09.13 11:54am
J Vine
Ronaldo buys Madrid and puts entire squad on transfer list

Cristiano Ronaldo today shocked the world of football by buying Real Madrid and then putting the entire squad on the transfer list. [quote]There is only enough room for one ego in this dressing...

julio bango 24.09.13 11:13am
julio bango
Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen masterminds ‘Changing Newham Council Rooms’

One of the poorest London Boroughs today announced its delight at the prospect of being able to work with Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen on an updated series of the old BBC television series ‘Changing...

fernandomando 24.09.13 11:10am
British Adventurer sells Rolos from Japan to Alaska

Oh wait sorry, Adventurer Rows Solo from Japan to Alaska...

Flugelbinder 24.09.13 10:51am