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Man Utd says "If your good enough your young enough". 2
MikeKent 3 years

In a shock move today Sir Alex Ferguson confirmed that after successfully recalling the retired Paul Scholes, he plans to replace most of his existing squad from the greats of Man Utd. Ferguson told...

Drunk crane driver suspended 5
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years
Teachers 'up in arms' after kids state school is 'interesting and relevant.' 0
Samasaea 3 years

The National Union of Teachers has issued a statement condemning kids who enjoy school. , 'It's our turf,' said an NUT spokesperson who refused to be named, 'They can't just waltz in here liking it...

'I was just following the TomTom' claims cruise ship captain 0
Immunis 3 years
Celine Dion concert on Costa Concordia postponed 'indefinitely' 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

but her heart will go on and on and on and on...

Automated voice response revealed as cyberman invasion plot 0
Samasaea 3 years

The automated voice services used by many companies to answer customer service enquiries were revealed today to be the precursor to a Cyberman invasion. , Many will be familiar with the cold,...

Julius Caesar admits to planting uncharted reef, blames Vesuvius. 0
Griffin 3 years
Easy to understand guide to ventriloquists' dolls published: Dummies for Dummies 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Follow your dreams and just quit 0
Dumbnews 3 years

Trying to express the idea that quitting, though it sounds bad to others, feels good to yourself....

Men swear in menswear department. 9
nickb 3 years
Depressed Opening Seeks Closure. 0
sredni vashta 3 years
Convulsive Cows Caused By Beef Jerky. 0
sredni vashta 3 years
Police cordon off a Haynes Motor Manual after reports of unexploded diagram 15
bonjonelson 3 years
All copies of The Great Escape suddenly go missing from Manchester Blockbusters 0
yussle 3 years
Almost 100% of men could be suffering from sex addiction 0
Shandy 3 years

Almost the entire male population could be suffering from the devastating disease that is sex addiction, according to shocking new figures released yesterday, which demonstrate that practically every...

Man who switched off location services on his mobile feels 'a bit lost' 0
roybland 3 years

A man who turned off location services on his iPhone says he feels 'a bit lost and kinda out of things' and may turn them on again. 'I was in two minds whether or not to switch location services...

Italian cruise ship disaster 0
scribbler 3 years

"It was just like the Titanic" say many people who were not on the Titanic...

Euro booked into Dignitas 0
medici2471 3 years
Costa cappuciso expresso 0
medici2471 3 years
Redknapp muggers get away with a hundred big ones. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Italian ship sinking downgraded from disaster to incident after no Britons die. 3
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Italian Cruise Ship Crew arrested for failing to panic 0
Nearly Normal 3 years

Italian police have arrested cruise ship Concordia's captain Francesco Schettino on suspicion of leaving the ship before it was evacuated. Police confirm he was found hiding under his mother's...

Constipated pensioner found motionless 17
Major Clanger 3 years
Norfolk children confused by claim that numbers are based on 10 fingers 0
apepper 3 years

Norfolk schoolchildren are being confused by teachers' explanation of the decimal system. "He said we count in tens because that's how many fingers we have. But I've got 8 fingers, 17 if you include...

North Korea invades Manchester Blockbusters. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
95% of women prefer rabbits in the bedroom to a horse in the living room 4
victimms 3 years
Whooping and Cheering causes Coughing and Jeering 0
victimms 3 years

The Health Protection Agency has today confirmed that cases of whooping and cheering are on the rise., A report has found that people in their own homes who take it upon themselves to make these...

Cash machine tunnel: list of suspects grows 0
roybland 3 years

Police investigating the theft of £6000 by a gang which dug a 100ft tunnel partly through concrete to a cash machine at a Blockbuster shop, say their list of suspects is growing. 'Six months to dig...

Woman awakes from coma as Danny Glover 13
hughesroland 3 years

The family of a Bristol woman who awoke from a six-year coma as film actor Danny Glover expressed their surprise at her transformation today. Doreen Peacock, 27, slipped into a coma in January 2006...

Increase in cash machine tunnels predicted 0
roybland 3 years

Britain could see a sharp rise in the number of people using tunnels to withdraw money from cash machines, economists say. Thieves in Manchester recently spent six months digging a 100ft tunnel to...