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A new report claims the wages of sin have been frozen for the fifth year running 3
Ian Searle 19.07.13 12:03pm
Titus
Thunderstorm Experts Gather for Clear the Air Talks 0
Erwin Spatula-Ng 19.07.13 11:16am
Erwin Spatula-Ng
Palace Panic & Attempted Cover-Up After Swan Eats Royal Baby

"Get over it" says swan "We ain't no vegans [burp]." Royal grandfather says "One is frightfully concerned. This is a large meal for a swan and one hopes this beautiful, graceful creature comes to...

2
Titus 19.07.13 11:01am
Wrenfoe
Call to ban stepladders in crackdown on "legal highs" 2
bonjonelson 19.07.13 11:00am
Wrenfoe
Palace admits Assange has been hiding out in Kate's womb 0
Squudge 19.07.13 10:49am
Squudge
Olympics Committee says it will "Find a place for drugs in sport".

The International Olympic Committee has announced that it will allow drugs in many of its events in light of the recent scandals. Sprinters Tyson Gay and Asafa Powell, who were recently tested...

0
AFrancisBrown 19.07.13 10:49am
AFrancisBrown
Onion ahead of the game as usual...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/detroit-sold-for-scrap,1931/...

1
bonjonelson 19.07.13 10:38am
bonjonelson
Adebolajo sends off early Santa request for two front teeth 0
A.A.Arkwright 19.07.13 10:08am
A.A.Arkwright
Environmentalists demand action on Royal population

“We seem to have learned nothing from the badger fiasco”, laments Greenpeace spokesman Jason Bailey. “Just one Royal, even a very small one, has incalculable effects on the biosphere”. He...

0
sydalg 19.07.13 9:20am
sydalg
Ed Milliband previews Labour manifesto at Comic Con

Labour leader Ed Milliband is using his appearance at this weekend's San Diego Comic Con to tease extracts from Labour's 2015 election manifesto. Speaking at a Preview Night panel appearance the...

3
Darkbill 2.0 19.07.13 8:54am
bonjonelson
Alexei Navalny Gets Life Sentence In Gulag For Out-Of-Date Car Tax Disc

"And I haven't even got a car" sighs jailed Russian opposition leader...

0
Titus 19.07.13 7:47am
Titus
Cancer Cure And End To World Hunger Entirely Due To London Olympics

more ludicrous over-stated claims later...

1
Titus 19.07.13 7:44am
Squudge
Rom-com sequel, "When Harry assaulted Sally" fails at box office

More later...

1
virtuallywill 19.07.13 7:35am
Titus
Baby Delay Blamed On 'Coalition Cutbacks And Economic Mis-Management'

according to the opposition (such as it is)...

0
Titus 19.07.13 7:19am
Titus
Bigots demand unequal rights

<hat tip to Titus>...

0
Squudge 19.07.13 6:42am
Squudge
Queen gives vegans permission to eat swan

Swans do not have souls and can therefore be consumed by vegans with the Queen's permission, reports confirm. Experts at the Wildlife Research Institute subjected nature's river-mincing fancy pants...

9
Dick De Menthe 19.07.13 6:39am
Squudge
Weapons cargo an elaborate ruse to hide Kim Jong-Un's Rubik's cube addiction

New information has surfaced regarding the cargo onboard the North Korean ship which was recently seized in Panama. Initially it was reported the ship, purportedly carrying sugar, actually contained...

0
ChairmanMouth 19.07.13 1:03am
ChairmanMouth
Man cancels camping holiday - goes on mincing holiday instead 0
Smart Alex 18.07.13 10:12pm
Smart Alex
Hewitt strongly denies rumour that Harry is the father. 0
Ref Minor 18.07.13 9:54pm
Ref Minor
New Samsung phone boasts 30% fewer features 0
Dumbnews 18.07.13 8:57pm
Dumbnews
Press ecstatic as Prince Philip announces visit to Mandela's bedside.

More soon. What would he say?...

3
Al OPecia 18.07.13 8:38pm
Sinnick
NHS Experts' report concludes: 'Hospitals need more experts'

Teams of experts sent into hospitals to discover why patients are dying in their thousands believe they may have found the answer. In a highly controversial report, Professor Sir Hamish Andrews,...

2
John Wiltshire 18.07.13 8:36pm
Sinnick
Royal Baby silence due to presence of Tom Cruise at bedside. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 18.07.13 8:19pm
Al OPecia
Come Dine With Me Ramadan Special a real turn off 1
custard cream 18.07.13 8:06pm
Jesus H
Local man considers not getting a tattoo 4
Dumbnews 18.07.13 7:00pm
Arthur
William rules out "Vindaloo and shag" option for inducing future monarch

The Gynaecologist Royal Dr Sir Mark Smedhurst suffered a setback yesterday after suggesting the time honoured solution of a blistering hot curry and a vigorous seeing to as a way of hastening...

16
CulchaVulcha 18.07.13 6:11pm
CulchaVulcha
Luther pursues Kardashian that kills for media attention.

The Metropolitan Police have called on DCI John Luther to track down the member of the Kardashian family currently killing for media attention. London’s most ruthless officer has previous with...

0
sdritchie 18.07.13 4:57pm
sdritchie
NB Reveals Conspiracy To Cover Up Kidnap Of Royal Baby By Somali Pirates

You read it here first, folks...

4
Titus 18.07.13 3:44pm
Titus
Channel 4 'delighted' as One Born Every Minute wins Royal birth exclusive

Channel 4 were excited to announce today that it's hugely popular show One Born Every Minute has fought off tough competition from the likes of Hello and OK magazines to win the world exclusive...

1
Jesus H 18.07.13 2:52pm
NorthernGravy
Josie Maureen E Oh playing mind games with Wayne Rooney.

it's like MENSA playing against the special needs unit...

0
irreverendJ 18.07.13 2:49pm
irreverendJ