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England Regains Form after Jittery Start

There must have been a lot of butterflies in English stomachs last night before the kick-off against Italy, as disgruntled fans whose expectations had been dashed by seeing their team get through the...

3
Cymraeg 25.06.12 11:58am
dvo4fun
Egyptian President assures Christians and women they will be persecuted fairly. 5
Al OPecia 25.06.12 1:28pm
cinquecento
Murray’s Rating Upgraded From “Dour Scot" To British Number One

Scottish tennis playing misery-guts, Andy Murray, is said to be overjoyed at hearing the news that from today and following his status having been upgraded by his Mum’s nationality rating agency,...

8
Duff 26.06.12 8:43am
simonjmr
Urge to interview people early indication of Parkinson's

Scientists have determined that Parkinson's disease can be diagnosed early from a compulsion to conduct interviews, advertise life insurance or talk about Geoffrey Boycott...

0
apepper 25.06.12 7:27am
apepper
Egypt leader Mohammed Morrissey says 'Please please let me get what I want' 0
MADJEZ 25.06.12 7:04am
MADJEZ
Old Woman who lives in a shoe to loose her housing benefit

She told a reporter she has so many children she doesn't know what to do...

0
Ian Searle 25.06.12 6:14am
Ian Searle
England win in competition to not get stuffed by the Germans : Italians furious 0
FlashArry 24.06.12 10:24pm
FlashArry
Shock as team who've lost 26 out of 27 International tournaments knocked out.

More whining soon...

1
MADJEZ 24.06.12 10:19pm
FlashArry
Nat West 'we're trying our hardest but to be frank we don't give a fuck'

Expect bumper profits soon...

0
MADJEZ 24.06.12 10:07pm
MADJEZ
Prince Charles may be forced to move back in with his parents 0
nickb 24.06.12 10:01pm
nickb
RBS software cock up a real threat to cancelling Bank Holidays claims BBA 0
simonjmr 24.06.12 9:48pm
simonjmr
Homeopath-psychopaths "a little bit bonkers" 0
nickb 24.06.12 9:43pm
nickb
Police investigate mystery disappearance of England flags from millions of cars

Police up and down the UK are investigating the mass disappearance of England flags that where once attached to cars. The mysterious multi-theft happened at about 22:25 on Sunday evening. A...

4
Perks 25.06.12 12:05pm
Cymraeg
Watching England play Italy is like watching Italy play 0
Hooch 24.06.12 9:23pm
Hooch
Fears that Sunday opening may give public ideas about future service by banks

Banking chiefs fear that Sunday's opening of branches of NatWest, RBS and Ulster Bank may have given customers the idea that for the first time in banking history UK banks are to start offering a...

0
roybland 24.06.12 8:27pm
roybland
June is forecast to be wettest for 100 years. Handsome elderly neighbor to blame

June is forecast to be wettest for 100 years. Handsome elderly neighbor to blame...

11
simonhansen 30.06.12 9:57am
button
Contributor Duff Accuses Fellow Newsbiscuit Writers Of Cronyism

In a staggering outburst earlier today Newsbiscuit contributor, Duff, has hit out at what he sees as blatant cronyism and the wholesale formation of little cliques all over the popular online...

12
Duff 24.06.12 10:49pm
FlashArry
"But athletics hasn't been popular since Linford Christie!", England realises

Track and field sports are about as nationally relevant as the original Karate Kid film, England suddenly realised yesterday. As another GBP1,000,000 was transferred to the bank account of the...

2
barrowboy 24.06.12 6:57pm
dvo4fun
Virgin bosses woo female commuters with 'Shades of Grey' masturbation carriages

Women users of Britain’s busy rail network have welcomed the introduction of Christian Grey-themed masturbation carriages. As sales of the seminal ‘mummy porn’ title soared past 15 million...

12
26.06.12 2:38pm
Scroat
An Open Letter to Andy Murray

Dear Andy, With the annual Wimbledon hooha upon us again and your endearing personality once more filling our screens, it may be worth reflecting on the following: - No one is in the slightest bit...

0
custard cream 24.06.12 2:30pm
custard cream
Gary Glitter appointed to roll-out new 'O' Level programme 0
Underconstruction 24.06.12 2:02pm
Underconstruction
Madame Cholet denies 'rubbish in bed' claim 0
Underconstruction 24.06.12 1:46pm
Underconstruction
We're all in this together, apart from those 25 and under

no shelter later...

0
virtuallywill 24.06.12 1:45pm
virtuallywill
'Mud' fan's wasted trip to Isle of Wight 0
Underconstruction 24.06.12 1:44pm
Underconstruction
Bono on the Bill for Gove

In a groundbreaking effort to raise literacy levels, Minister for Education Michael Gove has announced “The Alphabet Tour” for this Autumn. An eclectic mix of artists, including ABC, D-Ream, JLS,...

0
Iggy Pop-Barker 24.06.12 12:39pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
This is homeopathic comedy 5
bonjonelson 24.06.12 7:02pm
dvo4fun
Queen Actually Scheduled To Meet Paddy McGuinness.

What was thought to be a historic meeting between the Monarch and the Sinn Fein MP is actually a meeting about the possibility of a Take Me Out Royal Special, it has been revealed. One of the...

0
Hooch 24.06.12 10:59am
Hooch
Last of the summer swine of a swirl...

hits West Yorkshire...

0
Jesse Bigg 24.06.12 10:24am
Jesse Bigg
France........... 0
Jesse Bigg 24.06.12 10:13am
Jesse Bigg
MoneyBiscuit: Allied Irish Bank shares could be worth a punt 0
Nails UK 24.06.12 9:48am
Nails UK