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Porn industry thinks children should be exposed to education

There is growing alarm among the U.K.’s leading pornographers, that children as old as 16 are still to be exposed to basic literacy and numeracy. Research suggests that some students in later...

Wrenfoe 20.05.13 3:51pm
Al OPecia
Abu Qatada 'home for Christmas'

He can't believe his mince pie, according to a friend...

Crooked Man 20.05.13 3:29pm
Crooked Man
Bill Gates is world's richest man again after loan from Wonga

Bill Gates regained the title of World's Richest Man after taking out a loan from Wonga of 5 trillion dollars. 'I saw their ad on my 58 TVs,' he said today. 'The old people looked so nice and...

John Wiltshire 20.05.13 3:15pm
John Wiltshire
Daleks adopt the slogan 'We are swivel-eyed loons'

A spokesdalek for the Daleks said today that they were proud to call themsleves 'swivel-eyed loons.' 'Forget the Conservatives,' said Dalek Sek. 'We are the original swivel-eyed loons. We only have...

John Wiltshire 20.05.13 3:02pm
Gove heckled by head teachers ' it's your own time you're wasting' he responds 6
topfotogmw 20.05.13 2:58pm
Home Secretary courts popularity by holding gay marriage in May garage. 0
nickb 20.05.13 2:55pm
Mouthwash manufacturers to market "Gurgle Glasses" 0
nickb 20.05.13 2:19pm
Home Counties opthalmic surgeons report increase in private work 0
nickb 20.05.13 1:58pm
Swivel-Eyed Leader Of An Opposition Party Denies He Is A Secret Tory Activist 0
Titus 20.05.13 1:48pm
Swivel Eyed Loons reform for Glastonbury headlining set

Eight piece 'anarcho-musical collective' The Swivel Eyed Loons are to reform for a one-off show at this summer's Glastonbury Festival. The self-styled 'cosmic jokers' say that they are 'chuffed to...

Skylarking 20.05.13 1:38pm
Milliband Elected As Leader Of Swivel-Eyed Loon Party 2
Titus 20.05.13 1:33pm
Clearasil's social cricket team accused of spot fixing 0
brianflan 20.05.13 1:24pm
Newly-crowned Scrabble champion spends night on the tiles. 3
sredni vashta 20.05.13 12:27pm
sredni vashta
Kim Jong-un to mate with Crested Shelduck

The international community breathed a collective sigh of relief to discover that the recent military posturing by North Korea was all part of an elaborate courtship ritual. Despite his marriage to...

Wrenfoe 20.05.13 12:07pm
SNP and BNP to merge to form a single party of Brutish Nationalists 0
ronseal 20.05.13 11:51am
British Soap Awards awarded most pointless event in the universe award.

The planet earth rejoiced last night after it was revealed the Intergalactic Federation of Galaxies have awarded the British Soap Awards the award for most pointless event in the known universe....

theinvisiblecitychannels 20.05.13 10:50am
Thatcher Brain Scan In Lancaster Bomber Upgrade

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has confirmed that the UK's last airworthy Lancaster bomber has been fitted with a controversial software upgrade as part of a major cost-cutting exercise. 'In times...

Landfill 20.05.13 10:34am
Way ahead unclear for swivel-eyed loon party.

Majority favouring the left...

raudus 20.05.13 10:30am
Gay marriage opponents attempt to stop mandate 2
charlies_hat 20.05.13 10:29am
Hollyoaks now broadcast down under. Attacks on British expats soar.

More reasons to whinge soon...

brianflan 20.05.13 10:28am
Increase in spam down to ‘excellent quality replica designer bags’ say experts

A marked increase in the amount of spam appearing on internet forums has been caused by the outstanding quality of replica designer goods that are now available, according to experts. ‘For a long...

Vertically Challenged Giant 20.05.13 9:18am
Eurovision latest - Bonnie Tyler lost in Sweden 4
Smart Alex 20.05.13 8:38am
Britain to introduce the world's first battery-farmed nursery

In an attempt to control costs while maintaining a "healthy" childcare ratio, Prime Minister David Cameron announced that the UK intends to lead the world in intensive battery raised toddlers. ...

Wrenfoe 20.05.13 8:16am
Eric Pickles denounces motorists for passing speed cameras at 29.99 mph

Communities Secretary Eric Pickles has denounced the behaviour of a majority of motorists when passing speed cameras as ‘fine dodgers’, saying they have a moral duty to man up, speed up and pay...

Des Custard 20.05.13 7:08am
Decorator misunderstands instruction to "Paint the door matt" 0
Smart Alex 20.05.13 2:54am
Smart Alex
Relief for local residents as 'School of hard knocks' finally acquires doorbell 1
blacklesbianandproudofit 19.05.13 11:24pm
Google Glass found to be able to see through tax loopholes

More obvious targets soon...

brianflan 19.05.13 11:14pm
"I heard him not saying it" claims Schapps.

Co-chairman of the conservative party Grants Schapps said he was in the room and "in perfect earshot" when he heard Lord Feldman not call activists of his party "swivel eyed loons". "I distinctly...

nickb 19.05.13 10:59pm
Sir Lupus
"Yahoo to buy over-priced drink's glass for $1.1bn due to clerical error"

More later...

Wrenfoe 19.05.13 9:33pm
Not My Real Name
NiB "something else" man in u-turn shock 0
nickb 19.05.13 8:55pm