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Fire chiefs' delight at success of Ewood Park fire drill 4
Midfield Diamond 3 years

Blackburn Fire Brigade have praised the calm, orderly manner in which thousands of fans left Rovers' stadium during a fire drill ten minutes before the end of the game last night. "It must have...

Storm clouds preparing for "massive ironic downpour" on hosepipe ban day 0
grumblechops 3 years

Skies above the UK have been turning gradually darker today with meteorologists warning of an impending deluge - most likely timed to coincide with the start of the hosepipe ban this Thursday....

Spiderman berated for spending too much time on the web 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Cameron to benefit from £14 million investment in dementia research... 1
Location 3 years he forgets where he ate pasty...

Graffiti artist draws criticism 20
Dumbnews 3 years
'Fill your freezers with snow to ease summer water shortage' Advise Ministers. 1
JETFAB 3 years
Headline writers thrilled as Bill Gates’ gate scandal creates Gates’-gates-gate 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

A scandal involving Bill Gates allegedly purchasing a set of ornamental gates made by child labour has led to huge excitement amongst tabloid journalists. ‘Gates’-gates-gate’ has been described...

Isle of Wight residents run in fear at sight of man in electric wheelchair 3
bonjonelson 3 years

Panic has gripped the Isle of Wight after a man from the mainland driving an electric wheelchair attempted to board a train. The electrified man-machine contraption was first spotted at the ticket...

Headteachers say University designed A levels are getting easier 0
charlies_hat 3 years
James Murdoch to resign from BSKYB today according to his fathers voicemail. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

BSkyB Chairman seen here with his father Rupert Murdoch.

London Zoo 'hopeful' that Boris and Ken will mate 0
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Zoologists at London Zoo have said they are 'hopeful' that their prized sore-headed bears, named Boris and Ken by keepers, will mate, despite an unpromising start in their tiny enclosure. 'Now that...

Argentina blames outdated colonial power for thwarting colonial aspirations. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
PC Lilly hospitalised following mistaken draft excluder / rake incident 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Web monitoring plan prompts resurgence of jazz-mag-in-hedge distribution channel 0
cinquecento 3 years
April Fooled 0
Otis B Driftwood 3 years

Embarrased journalists at the Times has admitted that they had to pull their April Fool stories " Gallaway wins by a landslide" and "PM seen eating Pasty at Leeds Station"...

Floater lingerage? Need panning or more on the trots? 7
youbuyitnow 3 years

Haha! Yes, that’s right from old china. Flap lid, one foot, swirling of filth. Gurgle not wanted, craft escaping, fowl wreakage! Can it cause gagging?...

Prime Minister Goes On Holiday 5
Leopold Gasket 3 years

to Cameroon (Cameron!)...

Proclaimers singer comes clean - “would have gone 25 miles tops, and by train” 1
Yikes 3 years

Proclaimer’s singer Charlie Reid says that despite being wild and carefree in his youth, there is no way he really contemplated walking 500 miles, let alone 500 more, especially for a woman....

Milk of human kindness to be available in UHT form 7
nickb 3 years

Dairy Crest has announced they will make the milk of human kindness in a long life sterilised form for those who cannot afford reliable refrigeration. Marketing Director Alan James said "It's in...

CEO's fish-bone diagram criticized for ignoring the meat and potatoes 3
Dumbnews 3 years
Falklands claim sovereignty over Agentina 0
apepper 3 years

The Falkland Islands have claimed the Argentine as Falkland territory. "They're only 200 miles away, so they should clearly come under our control."...

Play Doh face Michael Gove much needed member of the cabinet insists Cameron 0
rustytruss 3 years
Plans to monitor web site visits ‘outrageous’ NO THEY’RE NOT 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Mancini gaffe as he tweets ‘Shattered but happy after Blackburn triumph’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Aung San gaffe as she tweets ‘Shattered but happy after Blackburn triumph' 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Gove acts after signs that criticism of ‘A’ level standards is getting easier 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Damien Hirst labelled as "Fat Cat Banksy" by critics 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Apple introduce new virtual computer – the MacCloud 0
weematt 3 years
Gillette confirm "reduces tug and pull" is a masturbation euphemism 1
simonjmr 3 years
“Oh bollocks...” says Argentinean President [optional title suggestions below] 6
dvo4fun 3 years

In a move which has shocked the colonialist community, a group of indigenous southern American people has claimed sovereignty of the area now described as ‘Argentina’. Argentinean President...