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It's another triumph for British sport as Phil Mickelson finds out he's English.

Britain's run of sporting achievements continues unabated with the news that golfer Phil Mickelson, thought to be of American extraction, is actually from London. Although the 2013 British Open...

0
Boutros 22.07.13 1:18am
Boutros
Ceremonial Royal Warming Pan helicoptered to Cambridge 'Just in case' 0
Ironduke 21.07.13 11:28pm
Ironduke
Shock as royal baby confirmed as having ginger hair 4
custard cream 21.07.13 8:40pm
Ref Minor
Royal Baby "waiting until the golf and cricket are over". More soon. 2
Al OPecia 21.07.13 8:02pm
riesler
Celebrity on 'Who Do You Think You Are?' discovers Bob is in fact their uncle 3
Ian Searle 21.07.13 7:44pm
Lindy Moone
Sight restored for three blind mice, but farmer’s wife still facing ‘tails' rap 0
Tripod 21.07.13 7:20pm
Tripod
US bomb disposal to be issued with thongs, snorkels and flippers 2
Squudge 21.07.13 7:16pm
Squudge
Australia's top six. 0
Ironduke 21.07.13 6:24pm
Ironduke
Royal Birth announcement delayed while surgeons look up spare finger removal 0
Ironduke 21.07.13 6:05pm
Ironduke
Tour de France Crash Leads to Massive Bicycle Mix-Up

A large crash during the 17th stage of the Tour de France yesterday left more than a dozen riders bruised, battered, and utterly confused where the hell their bicycles went. "It was pure chaos,"...

0
jmg16 21.07.13 5:23pm
jmg16
Guide Dogs Christmas catalogue brings welcome diversion from hot weather

People across the UK are reported to be delighted by the arrival of the latest Christmas catalogue from the Guide Dogs for the Blind Association. With the unremitting hot weather, the thoughtful...

4
Dick Everyman 21.07.13 5:03pm
Squudge
Excitement over royal baby 'not as great as that for new iPhone'

Excitement over the royal baby is not as great as that over a launch of a new iPhone, according to analysts. 'Although there is a lot of public interest in the imminent arrival of the royal baby,'...

0
roybland 21.07.13 4:33pm
roybland
Fat cats to get tax breaks “to release trapped wind”

Wealthy businesspeople, many of them Conservative voters, are to get tax relief for the release of trapped wind, which could help keep energy prices down. Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne...

2
CulchaVulcha 21.07.13 2:57pm
nickb
Kate's baby abducted by aliens 3
sponge finger 21.07.13 1:27pm
Squudge
Newsflash: retardorical - word of the week 4
Sinnick 21.07.13 11:30am
Titus
Kate falls out with Charles as he insists on homeopathic pain relief

More soon I want the reporters off my cycle route...

0
Not Amused 21.07.13 11:02am
Not Amused
Cameron demands internet providers block images of Boris Johnson. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 21.07.13 10:52am
Al OPecia
Batman/Superman combo tops the "w**k-bank"

Teenage boys throughout the known world have been fervently tearing down posters of buxom Katy Perry, to make way for images of the forthcoming film devoted to the "Man of Steel" & "The Caped...

0
Wrenfoe 21.07.13 10:42am
Wrenfoe
Dyslexic outrage in Islamic community as US bomb Great Barrier Reef "molluscs"

More later...

0
Wrenfoe 21.07.13 10:00am
Wrenfoe
Baby Tweets "Go Away And Leave Me Alone. I'm Quite Happy Where I Am, Thank You" 0
Titus 21.07.13 9:31am
Titus
Baby Delay Due To Storks' Strike & Gooseberry Bush Clearances

Allegedly. More (or at least [i]something[/i]) soon we hope...

0
Titus 21.07.13 9:21am
Titus
PRISM unfollows Ricky Gervais

In a move that has created zero impact in the Twitter world but significant surprise in the Intelligence gathering community, the NSA's data mining program has ceased to monitor the multi-award...

0
Wrenfoe 21.07.13 9:00am
Wrenfoe
French Abandon Cycle Racing as National Sport

Following nearly 30 years of failure to win their own major national sporting event, and folowing the particular humiliation of the event being won two years is succession by riders from, of all...

0
Titus 21.07.13 7:58am
Titus
Successful Cover-Up By News Media Of Birth Of Royal Baby

News hacks have sucessfully managed so far to keep totally secret the successful birth of a happy, healthy, bouncing new royal baby more than three days ago. "We didn't want to eclipse news of...

0
Titus 21.07.13 7:34am
Titus
Man Tries To Eat His Way Out Of Belmarsh Prison

A man who cannot be named for legal reasons but who is believed to be one of two men currently preparing to assist the courts with the trial and conviction of the killers of soldier Lee Rigby has...

1
Titus 21.07.13 7:16am
Squudge
It's a girl!

You read it on NewsBiscuit first ...

0
Arthur 21.07.13 12:52am
Arthur
Lindo Wing surrounded by obstetricians cunningly disguised as press reporters

(But sober) ...

0
Arthur 21.07.13 12:49am
Arthur
William Hill giving 14:1 on royal baby being white 4
Arthur 20.07.13 10:25pm
Jesus H
St Mary's Hospital Staff Beg Hacks To Stop Singing 'Why Are We Waiting?'

"The continual slow handclapping is beginning to get on our tits a bit as well" complained a senior obstetric consultant. But the landlord of nearby pub the Fountains Abbey said "Nah, no worries...

5
Titus 20.07.13 9:50pm
Arthur
get off Sponge 6
sponge finger 20.07.13 9:15pm
bonjonelson