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Alcoholic spiders: Britain's hidden shame

Barry is a prematurely grey, slightly balding tarantula. He arrived in the UK last year in a box of bananas, and made landfall in a Tesco Metro in the centre of Chesterfield. Very soon he took to...

8
Psycadelic Squirrel 25.02.13 6:21pm
Titus
Police confirm anti-terror strategy: 'we arrest people who look like terrorists'

Hard line London Police Commissioner, Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe, today confirmed the Police were exploiting the major weakness in the terrorists’ armour: the fact that terrorists consistently look...

3
Slante Dangle 25.02.13 5:38pm
Slante Dangle
Prince Andrew facing bullying charge

More former squaddies have come out with accusations of bullying by the Queen’s second son, when he was in charge of the Royal Highland Fusiliers in the Cairngorms. In one particularly incident...

8
shaggy 25.02.13 5:32pm
shaggy
Vicky Pryce trial latest; jury comprised of 24 short planks

The new trial of Vicky Pryce has started with the unusual step of 24 short pieces of wood being sworn in as the new jury. Our legal correspondent explains; "The court is trying for consistency in...

1
apepper 25.02.13 3:13pm
Titus
Gay couple offered massive discount on single glazing only 0
charlies_hat 25.02.13 3:10pm
charlies_hat
Police evacuate Pretoria suburb for Pistorius family gathering 0
sydalg 25.02.13 3:02pm
sydalg
Newsbiscuit plot to foil O'Farrell election bid

Fears are growing on the Newsbiscuit writing forum that the site may lose its inspiration and guiding force, John O'Farrell, as his hopes of election to the House of Commons edge closer to reality....

2
sydalg 25.02.13 2:58pm
sydalg
Insomniacs to help with sheep farm census 1
Midfield Diamond 25.02.13 2:55pm
sydalg
Dispute In Vatican about Who Will Switch The Lights Off 0
Titus 25.02.13 2:47pm
Titus
Bar bouncer finds sheep on trampoline punchline confusing 1
charlies_hat 25.02.13 2:44pm
AReader
Government to force MP;'s and peers to register improper thoughts

Following recent revelations and in the wake of expenses scandals the government is to introduce a register for MP's and peers to register any improper thoughts., All MP's and peers must register...

0
tonyhill 25.02.13 2:14pm
tonyhill
Clarkson: BBC 'faked' outrageous comments

Scenes from the BBC’s One Show, which viewers believed showed Jeremy Clarkson making live controversial comments about striking civil servants and suicide victims, were faked, it emerged last night...

2
Son of Barnabas 25.02.13 1:53pm
zoe8
Lib Dems announce amnesia 'no longer a membership requirement'

Following several embarrassing incidents of forgetfulness, the Liberal Democrats have agreed to stop making amnesia a requirement of party membership. The problem has been evident for a long time,...

10
Perks 25.02.13 1:38pm
rickwestwell
Oscar nominated for BAFTA

. <hat tip to Sinnick>...

9
Squudge 25.02.13 1:12pm
Midfield Diamond
Shepherds abandoning the Liberal Democrats for being "too woolly-minded" 0
AReader 25.02.13 12:33pm
AReader
Doctors 'must speak English' before being allowed to kill patients says minister 4
Mandy Lifeboat 25.02.13 12:32pm
godly1966
NZ farmer on trial says he honestly believed he had sex with over 16 sheep 0
Yikes 25.02.13 12:27pm
Yikes
Welsh management consultant turns ramshackle business into a success 0
charlies_hat 25.02.13 12:26pm
charlies_hat
Another catholic man pulls out early 0
godly1966 25.02.13 12:25pm
godly1966
Suicidal sheep was a jumper. 2
One Line Only 25.02.13 12:16pm
godly1966
HOROSCOPE week commencing 25 February 2013

HOROSCOPE week commencing 25 February 2013, by Colin the Cosmic Cockerel. ARIES. You will meet someone this week who you may or may not have met before. TAURUS. Your partner will find your secret...

2
godly1966 25.02.13 12:14pm
godly1966
Fiat Pandas "still not showing any interest in each other" 7
nickb 25.02.13 11:55am
Yikes
Advertising feature – the circus comes to Eastleigh

Roll up, roll up, roll up to the Eastleigh by-election circus. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is our pleasure to welcome you, for a few days only, to the Greatest Show On Earth. Or at...

4
Midfield Diamond 25.02.13 11:54am
Midfield Diamond
Smoking adverts develop record number of tumours

A new survey suggests that up to 100 % of smoking adverts have developed serious health conditions in the past twenty years. Adverts which have developed tumours make up 50 % of the population, with...

1
kga6 25.02.13 11:50am
Yikes
UK economy slumps further as no longer first in the yellow pages 0
charlies_hat 25.02.13 11:42am
charlies_hat
Cameron preparing air strike on Eastleigh

The Conservative party will mount an air strike and troop invasion of Eastleigh should the town be recaptured on Thursday by the Lib Dems. Foreign Secretary William Hague said that the party was...

0
roybland 25.02.13 11:41am
roybland
MPs confirm foreign Meerkats who sell UK insurance must speak good English 0
Ian Searle 25.02.13 10:49am
Ian Searle
UN World Food Programme to shut down Facebook.

In a shock announcement, the UN World Food Programme (WFP) has admitted that Facebook is an internationally funded initiative to gather data about the world’s dietary habits, which has now reached...

0
Doc_Thom 25.02.13 10:46am
Doc_Thom
Revealed: the man who farts in our packets of ham

It has come to light that manufacturers of low-cost packets of ham have been using human arse gas as a means of preserving the meat for longer periods.  This appears to be the explanation for the...

17
Slante Dangle 25.02.13 10:42am
Oxbridge
Welshman Ripped Off By Ovine Hooker.

"I was fleeced!" (Neat-O)...

0
The All New Jeni B 25.02.13 2:42am
The All New Jeni B