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Defence cut savings to be spent building privet hedge around the UK 0
Iamthestig 3 years

After much debate within the government, a decision has finally been made on how best to protect the UK from invasion, war, and basically anything nasty that could happen. With the new aircraft...

Unions overjoyed at new Kettle drum and Charcoal Briquette public holiday 0
Iamthestig 3 years
NHS brought to stand still as patients walk out. 1
SingingHinny 3 years

Rewrite of earlier sub, not for consideration, as such. But it is boiling my piss. The NHS is experiencing widespread disruption today after patients voted to stage a walk out as a show of...

SAS to re-enact storming of Iranian Ambassy in London for "training purposes" 0
thackaray 3 years
Surprise as George Osborne encourages 'more unpaid strikes' 5
3 years

Chancellor George Osborne has confounded his critics by suggesting a series of wildcat, 24-hour public sector strikes. In a notable shift from his earlier stance on industrial action, Osborne...

American Airlines loses Triple A rating. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
American Airlines grasp concept of multiplication 5
GreenCross 3 years

Top executives at troubled US carrier American Airlines yesterday finally understood the concept of multiplication, and immediately filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. In a high-level...

Two million hospital patients to enjoy day off; shops and restaurants braced. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Obese non-violent protestor to go on over-eating strike 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Chelsea confirm game against Valencia is now literally a life or death situation 0
grottymonty 3 years

Villas Boas pre-booked on one way flight to Siberia next Thursday as Abramovich's patience runs out. "I expect you to win, Mr Villas Boas" Roman was quoted, as he gently stroked a cat...

Lock, Stock & 2 Smoking Beagles - The Musical 0
Tuneraider 3 years

The Kennel Club & Daily Post critic, howled in dismay at the as the latest "Dogsploitation" offering from producer Sloop Dogg. The musical tells the true story of the struggle of 4 tobacco ...

Work reasonable hours for average pay & benefits? Maybe you need a Trade Union 23
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Are you tired of working almost 40 hours a week for a salary around the market average for your qualifications and skill set? Are you unhappy that your benefits are only marginally better than 95% of...

Sports Personality rapped over no women. Public demand totty at awards show. 1
MADJEZ 3 years
Big Brother Revived For Final “Dignitas” Series 0
Ablative Fabsolute 3 years
Scientists suggest wi-fi laptops damage sperm - users suggest vice verse 2
charlies_hat 3 years
Thomas Cook it?-You're Booking Joking - 2 45
greg various 3 years

The recent bad publicity over the financial stability of the travel agent Thomas Cook has only added to the problems faced by the company. The feeling is that no one in their right mind is going to...

Public sector job losses to hit 600,000 by 2016 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Public begin to notice in 2061. (Ignites blue touch paper, retires to safe distance)...

Man left in shock as website doesn't 'welcome your feedback' 4
Perks 3 years

A man from Buckinghamshire has been left in shock today, following a visit to the website of his favourite high street baker’s. The man, Mr Smith, quickly popped onto the Gregg’s website to...

'Cheese on Toast' to replace roast dinner on this years Christmas table. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Hard-up consumers have been saving for weeks in order to treat their families to the more traditional Christmas dish of Welsh Rarebit. The move to return to the original Christmas festive-board...

USA to offset it's carbon footprint by exporting more carbonated drinks. 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Chimneysweep criticised for carbon footprint 0
nickb 3 years
We Buy Any Car.com makes record low offer on 61-plate Corsa. More soon. 1
GreenCross 3 years
2012 seats for troops: wounded soldiers to be given tickets for Paraplegic Games 1
Dickens or Shakespeare 3 years
Foreign Office Junior Minister caught on video "internet sensation". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Streets in London cleared as a Jeremy Paxman escapes from the BBC 3
Immunis 3 years

The police have warned members of the public to be careful after a Jeremy Paxman escaped from the BBC and is roaming wild in the streets of London. It is thought that animal rights protesters broke...

Government and Unison "united" in condemnation of strike by NHS patients. 9
SingingHinny 3 years

The government has warned of widespread disruption within the health service as patients threatened to stage a walk out following a ongoing dispute over food standards, infection control, waiting...

John Major 'looking forward to Iron Lady sequel' 2
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Sir John Major has said he is looking forward to the release of a sequel to ‘The Iron Lady’, the biopic of Margaret Thatcher that hits cinemas next month. Major, who claims to have been prime...

Ferrero Rocher shares surge as Iran protesters storm embassy 0
apepper 3 years

Ferrero Rocher, suppliers of chocolate balls to ambassadors world wide, have seen a boost to their share price after Iranian protesters cleaned out the UK embassy of the treats. "We expect many...

Wales boss emphatically rejects chance to testify at Leveson enquiry. - 2 36
reforse 3 years
Outrage as no men shortlisted for the final of the great British Bake Off 0
Gareth_wilts 3 years

The BBC have been inundated with complaints after the popular baking contest announce an all-female shortlist. “We have used the same voting system that we always use’ said Sue Perkins,...