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Home office to investigate contraband snout found in prison food 4
charlies_hat 02.02.13 11:49am
George Osborne to propose new cheap accommodation for long term unemployed 0
AReader 02.02.13 11:21am
Chancellor promises to 'come down hard on soap dodgers'

In his latest bid to avoid catching tax evaders, or evade catching tax avoiders nobody is quite sure which, George Osborne has unveiled his latest plans to cut down on ‘soap dodgers’. At a press...

Perks 02.02.13 10:28am
File made of Bacon found in prison food 1
Sinnick 02.02.13 12:28am
Parliament Debate Return of Death Penalty 'for being George Osborne's parents' 0
SJM 02.02.13 12:04am
Superstition found to contain traces of bullshit. 0
Idiot 01.02.13 11:52pm
US welcomes new bullet train programme 0
Dick Everyman 01.02.13 10:12pm
Dick Everyman
Evil Knievel "my stunts due to poor opthalmic health. My new 'Wheelie Bins' help 4
simonjmr 01.02.13 9:55pm
Incompetent killers “make us all look bad", says hitman...

Lenny ‘Fingers’ McGee, President of the Association of Assassins, Hitmen and Hired Guns lamented poor workmanship in the ‘kill someone and run away’ sector of the market. “Murdering the...

Tripod 01.02.13 9:04pm
"Companies Should Not Pay Tax In Accordance With Law" Says Minister

"Companies must pay tax according to the tax laws which we ought to pass" insists minister. "They should not take the piss by only paying tax based on the existing laws." "One excuse is the...

Titus 01.02.13 8:51pm
New Survey Reveals Most People Don’t Care

In a new survey, out today, 87% of the public said they couldn’t care less. The other 13% said they cared, or were undecided...

Reg Herring 01.02.13 8:36pm
Reg Herring
Rubbish terrorist's suicide belt is wheelie bin laden 1
Perks 01.02.13 7:52pm
Julia Bradbury preparing for a walk down to the shops

Television presenter Julia Bradbury is reported to be preparing for a walk from her home down to her local Waitrose. 'It's Julia's most ambitious project so far,' said a BBC Television spokeswoman....

roybland 01.02.13 7:35pm
Beckham donates salary to D.Beckham Foundation 0
custard cream 01.02.13 6:51pm
custard cream
British Basketball wins on late rebound 0
custard cream 01.02.13 6:49pm
custard cream
Seabirds found covered in ambergris. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 01.02.13 6:14pm
Al OPecia
Infant school beach trip blamed for waxy substance on seabirds.

MADJEZ 01.02.13 5:28pm
Doctors advise Dave Pelzer books should not be read by manic depressives

look it up!...

custard cream 01.02.13 5:22pm
custard cream
TV stars Fenella and Chorlton found trashed by local residents 0
charlies_hat 01.02.13 4:55pm
Skips: Are they wheelie bins ? Asks Jonathan Ross. 0
MADJEZ 01.02.13 4:23pm
15,000 more convicted murderers ask for their drugs offences to be considered

[url=]whoops [/url]...

Midfield Diamond 01.02.13 4:04pm
Platitudes to become available on prescription...

Doctors are being asked to cut down the number of drugs they prescribe to their patients, and offer a range of platitudes instead. Michael Morton, spokesman for the British Medical Association, said...

Tripod 01.02.13 3:35pm
Condiment reporter refuses to name his sauces 5
One Line Only 01.02.13 3:06pm
Stricken birds were from “our new seabird range”, says KFC...

“The mistake was ours”, admitted Peter Schwartz, Head of Condiments at KFC. “The birds escaped from our laboratory while we were testing out some new recipes. In our efforts to ensure a...

Tripod 01.02.13 2:52pm
Confusion as Scrap Dealer Arrives at Pearly Gates

St Peter returns from office after checking dealer's eligibilty for admission, to find gates missing...

Titus 01.02.13 2:46pm
Pfizer's New Windows 8 Tablets: Fast Boot Up But Auto Shutdown After 1 Hour.

Pfizer's New Windows 8 Tablets, launched this week at BETT, London, prove to be fast at booting up, but are equally quick to auto shutdown. "This has caused some embarrassment to say the least",...

foxinthewalls 01.02.13 2:09pm
sea birds covered in sticky substance.....

.. misprint...

Media pirate 01.02.13 2:07pm
Media pirate
Plans to '3d print' Abu Qatada to Jordan

Plans to '3d print' Abu Qatada to Jordan have been contested on the grounds that materials used will have been extracted by use of torture...

Media pirate 01.02.13 2:06pm
Media pirate
Beyonce to lip sync-new generation odour-eater commercials

Allegedly the voice-overs will be actual performances, using sophisticated audio visual peograms to throw out the lip-syncre-creating the magic of the original TV classic...

Media pirate 01.02.13 1:56pm
Media pirate
Rubbish bin collector seeks new hobby 3
Psycadelic Squirrel 01.02.13 1:53pm