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Pistorius trial suspended in order to extinguish underpants fire 2
NewBiscuit 14.04.14 2:12pm
Rise in London Marathon deaths : DWP suggest unemployed take part 0
camz 14.04.14 1:55pm
'Germans' With Snow On Their Boots Build New Wall In Berlin To Deter The West 0
Titus 14.04.14 1:07pm
Ofsnack claims some take-aways are being run by radical muslims. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 14.04.14 12:43pm
Putin: Balaclava-wearing Kiev-botherers are Pussy Riot fans 0
Adrian Bamforth 14.04.14 12:39pm
Adrian Bamforth
Amazon drone strike wins over Taliban leaders

Early reports indicate a stunning success in what's seen as a unique contribution between American military experts and online giant Amazon. USAF Commander Chuck Hagen said, "We sent it a shipload...

custard cream 14.04.14 12:31pm
Adrian Bamforth
Bansky-style stencil packs on sale up north in bid to push up house prices

A revolutionary plan to increase house prices in the north of England was unveiled today – DIY Banksy-style stencil packs. House price analysts have noticed that whenever the world-famous...

farmer giles 14.04.14 12:13pm
‘Pro-Russian Supporters’ Protest to Putin Against Having to Wear Balaclavas

Despite the chance of being identified as a member of the Russian Special Forces, a person we will only call Igor has said [i]“Get it over with Vlad, it is too damn hot to be rushing about in all...

Rumour Control 14.04.14 11:54am
Rumour Control
Simon Cowell's underpants set to rise 3ft by 2025

Experts at the University of Celebrity Studies say they have discovered a rare human phenomenon that could see Simon Cowell vanish from our screens and engulfed by his own underpants within the next...

Robopop 14.04.14 11:37am
custard cream
Russia insists Ukraine agitators are too slim to be Russian soldiers

Bigglesworth 14.04.14 11:29am
'Dirty' Fuel needs to be replaced with something 'less smutty' - insists UN

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has published a damning report on how 'excessively crude' oils are corrupting the young with their reliance on 'salacious carbon-intensive' fuels...

Wrenfoe 14.04.14 10:36am
Doctors to promote GlaxoSmithKline through Interpretive Dance

Following bribery and corruption allegations leveled at GSK, the pharmaceutical industry plans to promote their products through the power of ‘ribbons’, ‘spandex body suits’ and a judicious...

Wrenfoe 14.04.14 10:33am
Piers was 'fired with enthusiasm' says kind job reference for ex chat show host 1
ronseal 14.04.14 10:30am
CNN Reports - Tombola Outbreak About to Sweep Through Southern England

The first case of Tombola in the UK has been reported in Bournemouth, it is thought that by the end of the Easter weekend it might easily spread to the Home Counties., Unusually, Justin Welby says...

Rumour Control 14.04.14 9:40am
UN Says Carbon Emissions Must be Reduced – Ukraine Told to Stop Burning Tyres

The Pro-Russian population have been advised to stop inflaming the situation and the Ukrainians have accused them of providing a smokescreen for an Invasion...

Rumour Control 14.04.14 9:37am
Future CPS Sex Charges To Be Restricted To Only Old Or Dead DJs, Not Politicians 0
Titus 14.04.14 9:09am
Journalists defend right to spout shit with ‘taped-up arsehole selfie’ campaign

Hundreds of television journalists have taken photographs of themselves with bands of sticky tape fixed to their anuses. The images form part of a campaign aimed at telling the world the relentless...

nedge 14.04.14 7:58am
Government agrees to 'gentlemen's agreement' with G4S over being ripped off.

Whitehall has agreed to allow G4S to bid for lucrative contracts again, on the condition that they 'don't make it too obvious' when they're defrauding the public purse of hundreds of millions of...

Electrelane 14.04.14 7:55am
US threaten Russia with more sanctions, starting with the export of Disney films

Barrack Obama has stepped up the rhetoric in the dispute with Vladimir Putin over Russia's actions in Ukraine. He has confirmed any further threats to Ukrainian sovereignty would lead to drastic...

James Pluside 13.04.14 9:11pm
Jesus questions Harvard report

A new report from Harvard suggests that Jesus was married, particularly because in an eighth century text it quotes Jesus referring to 'my wife'. Apparently irritated by the report, Jesus has weighed...

throngsman 13.04.14 8:14pm
Beavers homes not as good as they used to be, claims damming report. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 13.04.14 8:10pm
Cowboy offended when not treated like the stereotype 1
Dumbnews 13.04.14 7:27pm
Lab-grown vaginas 'are nothing new', says Piers Morgan 0
Oxbridge 13.04.14 6:01pm
All of man's shortcomings exposed in his choice of clothes, says Psychiatrist 0
Dumbnews 13.04.14 4:29pm
.. 0
Dumbnews 13.04.14 4:27pm
Babies to be fined for crying in public places

It was revealed at the House of Commons today that children up to the age of 6 could be fined as much as £90 for [quote]crying, screaming and/or wailing in public places, including pubs, bars,...

SirCleft 13.04.14 4:05pm
NHS resurrection performance slammed

The NHS is failing to meet government targets to raise people from the dead according to a new report from the NHS watchdog Nicene. The finding follows recent claims of long waiting times for people...

roybland 13.04.14 10:56am
Increase in the number of complaints about plot holes in British road movies 0
Ian Searle 13.04.14 10:40am
Ian Searle
Tamiflu last drug to be named after a country singer 13
custard cream 13.04.14 9:35am
Do not miss the "All About Gods Show"

From Arena Displays to a Fun God Show, All About Gods is packed full of fun competitions and games for your god. From spectacular god display teams to entertaining fun and games, the All About God...

GreyWolf 13.04.14 8:48am
Al OPecia