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Pentonville cancel macrame classes until further notice.

More Soon. With inspiration from Al OPecia...

MADJEZ 28.06.12 4:49pm
Pentonville admits climbing wall in exercise yard experiment "an own goal" 1
Al OPecia 28.06.12 1:57pm
"Me, you and your mate in a threeway" wins 2012 Proposition of the year award

Last year's winner "Lets go half on a bastard" well beaten in second place More soon...

simonjmr 28.06.12 12:28pm
Governor of Pentonville Slates Escape For "Lacking Any Real Creative Flair"

A prisoner serving a life sentence who escaped from Pentonville Prison earlier today has been slammed as being "unimaginative and passé" by the jail's Governor in a scathing attack this afternoon....

Duff 28.06.12 11:24pm
BMA call for members to show some balls

Doctors have called for Health Secretary Andrew Lansley to resign, saying they have "no confidence" in him. Hamish Meldrum, chair of the British Medical Association, says "Lansley is an absolute...

nostra da mouse 28.06.12 12:05pm
nostra da mouse
Lancaster bomber drops 80,000 memorial Poppies on local housing estate in error 4
dvo4fun 28.06.12 2:46pm
GDP increased by 5% in Q1, announce Barclays 0
medici2471 28.06.12 11:32am
McGuinness to unveil bomber memorial 0
bonjonelson 28.06.12 10:46am
Moonpig launch "Sorry you're not getting your Seven Figure Bonus' card range 1
dvo4fun 28.06.12 5:34pm
Al OPecia
Cowell and ITV in search for Britain's eccentrics - The Icke Factor launches 0
simonjmr 28.06.12 10:07am
Barclays HO to relocate to Pentonville 0
medici2471 28.06.12 10:00am
Healed With A Hand Shandy

The Queen made an historic act of forgiveness yesterday by giving former IRA leader Martin McGuinness a hand shandy. The momentous encounter – which would have been unthinkable ten years ago –...

Simon Balch 28.06.12 6:40pm
Birth certificate check shows Barclays CEO is actually called Bob Cubic Zirconia 0
charlies_hat 28.06.12 9:16am
Notorious criminal boss elects ‘not to accept bonus this year’

The overlord of an organised criminal gang yesterday announced that due to poor corporate performance and discovery of some questionable business practices, he will be foregoing his annual bonus this...

Long Distance Clara 29.06.12 9:46am
Shock as banks are caught doing what they're best at doing

Millions of bank customers are today coming to terms with the shock revelation that banks have been doing what they are best at doing. The manipulation of a key bank interest rate by Barclays and...

roybland 29.06.12 6:43am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Barclays execs to forgo bonuses; gain time to practice "pea under walnut" trick 0
28.06.12 8:41am
Cameron promises "no skiving off jaunts this summer"

"What, and miss all of the Olympics?"...

Jesse Bigg 28.05.13 4:41pm
Jesse Bigg
Portugal football team..... 0
Jesse Bigg 28.06.12 8:11am
Jesse Bigg
Barclays CEO rescues six kittens from a bin; takes them to kid’s cancer ward

“It’s what anyone would do” said Barclays CEO Bob Diamond after leaping in front of a rubbish truck to save six kittens discarded in a bin. “It was lucky I was out there sorting my recycling...

Yikes 07.07.12 9:33am
custard cream
Sports historians finally piece together how the game of rugby came about.....

"Initially, it was the usual 300 a side football game between two villages, until some thieving git ran off with the pig's head," said a spokesman...

Jesse Bigg 28.06.12 7:54am
Jesse Bigg
Miami face-chewer had only marijuana in system - munchies to blame says coroner 2
Haywood Manley 28.06.12 10:01am
Barclays bankers "not just a bunch of lying, thieving bastards" says Barclays 0
dvo4fun 28.06.12 7:12am
Dsylexic extremist chants 'Death to UAE" 0
Dumbnews 28.06.12 4:04am
. 0
dvo4fun 27.06.12 11:03pm
Barclays Bankers Found Guilty Of Knocking Out Another One

Bob Diamond (Geezer) is tonight under extreme pressure to step down from his position as Barclays Chief Executive, following the financial giant having been found guilty of yet another...

Duff 28.06.12 9:48pm
Gay dyslexic physicist seeks transfer to Large Hardon Collider

(Since we're doing colliders again)...

Maverick 27.06.12 10:02pm
Nora Ephron sleeping in Seattle. No more soon. 0
Al OPecia 27.06.12 8:49pm
Al OPecia
Google to sell Goggles. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 27.06.12 8:47pm
Al OPecia
House of Lords to be brought into the 18th Century. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 27.06.12 8:46pm
Al OPecia
Disappointment as dead Ephron not Zac 0
Mandy Lifeboat 27.06.12 8:12pm
Mandy Lifeboat