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Care Quality Commission announce the birth is an unprecedented success 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 22.07.13 7:57pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
BBC announces that there will be no other news for the foreseeable future. 0
flossie mcjava 22.07.13 7:49pm
flossie mcjava
Bus company inundated with complaints from residents of Notin Service 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 22.07.13 7:37pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Contrary Scientists create bread "which man can live on alone"

Holla! I am a dad now. So expect my jokes to worsen (!)...

4
gaijintendo 22.07.13 7:33pm
FlashArry
Kate 'Kate Kate'

Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate, Kate Kate Kate, Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate. "Kate Kate Kate," Kate Kate Kate, Kate Kate, Kate Kate. "Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate...

16
red 22.07.13 7:27pm
FlashArry
Body in suitcase costs killer £25 in Ryanair excess baggage fees... 2
Tripod 22.07.13 7:15pm
Wrenfoe
Duchess of Cambridge told "come back when contractions five minutes apart"

In an unprecedented breach of royal protocol it is reported that a midwife at St Mary's Lindo wing ordered the Duchess of Cambridge to "come back when your contractions are five minutes apart or if...

1
clarksn 22.07.13 7:13pm
Wrenfoe
John Terry seen acting 'suspiciously' outside St. Mary's Hospital 0
NorthernGravy 22.07.13 6:46pm
NorthernGravy
Government internet pornography proposals 'a bit of an anti-climax' say users 0
Dick Everyman 22.07.13 6:21pm
Dick Everyman
Sky Broadband moves to protect customers by filtering BBC

Sky Broadband were the first Internet Service Provider to respond to David Cameron's call for providers to automatically apply web filters to the content their customers could view online. The...

0
AndyEcon 22.07.13 5:46pm
AndyEcon
It's a baby!

Just a prediction...

0
godly1966 22.07.13 5:25pm
godly1966
Surveillance

In a bizarre twist and in respone to near total surveillance and breaches of privacy by the NSA, GCHQ and the British Police, seven BILLION people watch every move of two british police officers, 24...

1
ionb 22.07.13 5:10pm
Not Amused
World's most important baby to be born

In other news, the Catholic Church announced that the World's most important baby is due to be born. Young, single mother, Mary of Nazareth went into labour in a hospital in Bethlehem earlier today. ...

0
ionb 22.07.13 4:51pm
ionb
NSA and GCHQ already know the sex of Kate and Will's baby

Today both the NSA and GCHQ admitted they already know the sex and name of Kate and Will's baby...

0
ionb 22.07.13 4:42pm
ionb
Images depicting Rupe "to be banned"

Rupe-related images on the internet could be banned under a new law. "People, especially children don't want to see any online pictures of Rupert Murdoch who so violated our free press, and they...

0
CulchaVulcha 22.07.13 4:23pm
CulchaVulcha
Wales to consider "organs for porn" scheme

Welsh Assembly announces plans to allow net users to opt out of having to opt in for porn, if they don't opt out of donating their organs. Or something like that...

0
jamesr 22.07.13 4:02pm
jamesr
Government to ban nudity under clothes 0
Dick Everyman 22.07.13 3:54pm
Dick Everyman
Military ‘On Standby’ To Distribute Emergency Dirty Mags To Citizens

The Armed Forces announced today it had begun to implement ‘Operation Desert Porn’ – a massive plan to distribute pre-digital pornographic ‘magazines’ to porn-starved citizens throughout...

0
daneade 22.07.13 3:45pm
daneade
Daily Mail site blocked as anti-porn campaign backfires

I believe this is known as the "Sidebar of Shame" https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BPxtXUFCIAElfpm.jpg:large...

0
GordonChen 22.07.13 3:34pm
GordonChen
Internet porn block ‘will render smartphones effectively useless’

The expected announcement that UK internet providers will block access to pornography by default has led to warnings that the move will leave the nation’s estimated 30 million smartphones as...

1
Spartacus 22.07.13 3:23pm
Wrenfoe
Cameron's porn law is "thin end of the butt plug", complain users 1
pere floza 22.07.13 3:21pm
Wrenfoe
Duchess of Cambridge first royal to "put in a days labour" in a generation

probably loads more later...

0
grottymonty 22.07.13 3:12pm
grottymonty
Online access to c*nts, tits and arses means Conservative.com faces closure 2
antharrison 22.07.13 3:10pm
CulchaVulcha
Topless tour buses to be banned, says Cameron. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 22.07.13 2:48pm
deskpilot3
'It's a boy...and a girl!' declares Erwin Schrödinger to waiting media

More soon. And not...

2
Skylarking 22.07.13 2:38pm
raudus
Demise of village store 'A tragedy' says man who shops at Tesco

Mike Lever from Chelford in Cheshire is one of the hundreds of villagers lamenting the closure of his local village store. 'I drive past it every couple of days on my way to Tesco, and it always...

0
antharrison 22.07.13 2:34pm
antharrison
Stephen Hawking escapes on foot from benefits fraud investigators 5
sydalg 22.07.13 2:32pm
raudus
Westwood burns clubs after open loss. "I have plenty of irons in the fire"

no more soon...

1
Not Amused 22.07.13 2:21pm
Scronnyglonkle
David Cameron blocks all pornography so we can all focus on one vagina 2
AReader 22.07.13 2:07pm
AReader
Argentina quietly reclaims the Falklands as Britain celebrates 'baby bollocks'

Argentinian forces have successfully reclaimed the Falkland Islands today with 'absolutely no bother whatsoever', to the complete surprise of British military officials, who admit they were...

3
Jesus H 22.07.13 2:04pm
Jesus H