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Reginald D Hunter "ashamed" at using "F-word"

Nigger comedian Reginald D Hunter said today that he apologised unreservedly for using the word "Footballer" in a comedy routine. "I don't know what came over me" he mumbled in an embarrassed...

Son of Barnabas 30.04.13 9:05pm
Obama says Disney World must close

US President Barack Obama has pledged a new push to close torture camps at the controversial Walt Disney World Resort, Florida, amid a growing obesity among visitors. The UN has called the continued...

Wrenfoe 30.04.13 8:57pm
Penioners 'must work harder' for privileges...

Pensioners in England and Wales must work harder for privileges such as TVs, the government has said. Pensioners will be made to wear a uniform during their first two years in retirement and their...

SilverWinterSky 30.04.13 8:52pm
'Yewtree' detectives tell ageing suspects 'You can hide but you can't run' 2
Smart Alex 30.04.13 7:23pm
Prisoners "must work harder" to earn right not to watch daytime TV. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 30.04.13 6:13pm
Al OPecia
Britain ‘comes out’ as openly racist

Today, Britain issued a formal statement saying it was coming out as openly racist. It was a move that stunned many of the country’s fans. Giving his reaction to the UK’s ‘outing’, President...

Darkbill 2.0 30.04.13 6:07pm
Al OPecia
Thieves use tanker lorry to rob sperm bank 0
sydalg 30.04.13 5:45pm
Government claims Universal Credit for everything 0
sillybugger 30.04.13 4:59pm
Athlete with drugs up his arse accused of 'doping ring'

Some more soon...

Sally1985 30.04.13 4:18pm
Digestives "indigestible" says study

Britain's favourite biscuit does not live up to its name, according to a study undertaken by Reading University. Professor Mary Smythurst, Peak Frean Chair of gastrobiology at REading University...

nickb 30.04.13 4:17pm
Polytheist physicist finds whole pantheon of God particles 1
sydalg 30.04.13 4:00pm
BBC to broadcast tribute to Hitler

The BBC is to go ahead with the broadcast of a tribute to the "much loved" Adolf Hitler despite the rumours of "unsavoury" behaviour attributed to the controversial former head of state...

apepper 30.04.13 3:57pm
BT launches public pay-a-call telephone boxes

BT has announced that it is widening its telephone services portfolio to meet the various demands of users of its network of public telephone boxes. As part of the new plans the Company will work...

Dick Everyman 30.04.13 3:46pm
Dick Everyman
"Bee Strong" helpline established following neonicotinoid ban

Following a Europe-wide ban on neonicotinoids, addicted bees are to be offered telephone counselling to help them cope with withdrawal. The 'Bee Strong' campaign will target worker bees through...

monkeyrepublic 30.04.13 3:40pm
Crooks lose out on privileges as bankers' bonuses capped

Some more soon...

Sally1985 30.04.13 3:22pm
End of cushy life for pampered poultry in major shakeup of battery system 0
sydalg 30.04.13 3:08pm
North Korea accuses Obama of racism as he uses the "N" word. More soon.

Bit late, I know...

Al OPecia 30.04.13 3:07pm
Al OPecia
Paul Daniels said dismissed claims he will be executed as an offering to Zeus…

Confidence trickster Paul Daniels has today denied the rumours that he will offer his earthly body as a sacrifice to the Greek God Zeus. Hellenic Neo-Paganism groups called for the hairless magician...

McKenzie 30.04.13 2:22pm
Three wise monkeys former owners of North Wales care homes gain promotion to BBC 0
irreverendJ 30.04.13 2:00pm
Parsley said to be " gutted" to be left out of Lions squad 2
irreverendJ 30.04.13 1:50pm
Ed Miliband sent to Afghanistan in latest Drone attack

Some more soon...

Sally1985 30.04.13 1:49pm
Pussy pride in uproar over Lions omissions

The union of Lions or Big Pussy Pride as it is commonly known is said to be in uproar following the announcement of Warren Gatland’s squad to tour Australia later in the year., Whilst talk has...

irreverendJ 30.04.13 1:45pm
Prince Charles throws huge party as he learns that the Queen is to abdicate

Prince Charles was today said to be 'deliriously happy' when he heard that the Queen is to abdicate. He was seen rushing round the gardens at Highgrove House in his underwear shouting 'At last!...

John Wiltshire 30.04.13 1:44pm
Son of Barnabas
Mountaineers Fight To Reach Summit Of Everest

This is a rubbish attempt, given the potential of the news story. Surely someone on here can do a much better job?

Titus 30.04.13 1:38pm
Essex bag lady gets herself a vag-jazzle 0
Son of Barnabas 30.04.13 1:38pm
Son of Barnabas
Prisoners must work harder to earn right to stay

Government ministers have today stated intentions that prisoners should not automatically qualify for the right remain living in comfort at the expense of the state, but must instead work harder to...

NewBiscuit 30.04.13 12:34pm
Books and Music to be regulated

Following the Leveson inquiry, it has been decided by the government that they will, should press regulation prove successful, to attempt to regulate books and music for any harmful comments that may...

30.04.13 11:57am
Supermarkets and Clothing Stores Launch Unfair Trade Mark

A consortium of major supermarkets and clothing retailers are set to introduce from next month the Unfair Trade mark, a counterpart to Fairtrade branding, on the majority of products that they stock...

Iggy Pop-Barker 30.04.13 11:41am
Iggy Pop-Barker
Prisoners "must work harder" for privilege of not watching channel 5. 0
sredni vashta 30.04.13 11:40am
sredni vashta
Traditonal Olde Worlde English Pub offers watery gruel and lunchtime hangings. 0
sredni vashta 30.04.13 11:04am
sredni vashta