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'Fill your freezers with snow to ease summer water shortage' Advise Ministers. 1
JETFAB 3 years
Headline writers thrilled as Bill Gates’ gate scandal creates Gates’-gates-gate 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

A scandal involving Bill Gates allegedly purchasing a set of ornamental gates made by child labour has led to huge excitement amongst tabloid journalists. ‘Gates’-gates-gate’ has been described...

Isle of Wight residents run in fear at sight of man in electric wheelchair 3
bonjonelson 3 years

Panic has gripped the Isle of Wight after a man from the mainland driving an electric wheelchair attempted to board a train. The electrified man-machine contraption was first spotted at the ticket...

Headteachers say University designed A levels are getting easier 0
charlies_hat 3 years
James Murdoch to resign from BSKYB today according to his fathers voicemail. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

BSkyB Chairman seen here with his father Rupert Murdoch.

London Zoo 'hopeful' that Boris and Ken will mate 0
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Zoologists at London Zoo have said they are 'hopeful' that their prized sore-headed bears, named Boris and Ken by keepers, will mate, despite an unpromising start in their tiny enclosure. 'Now that...

Argentina blames outdated colonial power for thwarting colonial aspirations. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
PC Lilly hospitalised following mistaken draft excluder / rake incident 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Web monitoring plan prompts resurgence of jazz-mag-in-hedge distribution channel 0
cinquecento 3 years
April Fooled 0
Otis B Driftwood 3 years

Embarrased journalists at the Times has admitted that they had to pull their April Fool stories " Gallaway wins by a landslide" and "PM seen eating Pasty at Leeds Station"...

Floater lingerage? Need panning or more on the trots? 7
youbuyitnow 3 years

Haha! Yes, that’s right from old china. Flap lid, one foot, swirling of filth. Gurgle not wanted, craft escaping, fowl wreakage! Can it cause gagging?...

Prime Minister Goes On Holiday 5
Leopold Gasket 3 years

to Cameroon (Cameron!)...

Proclaimers singer comes clean - “would have gone 25 miles tops, and by train” 1
Yikes 3 years

Proclaimer’s singer Charlie Reid says that despite being wild and carefree in his youth, there is no way he really contemplated walking 500 miles, let alone 500 more, especially for a woman....

Milk of human kindness to be available in UHT form 7
nickb 3 years

Dairy Crest has announced they will make the milk of human kindness in a long life sterilised form for those who cannot afford reliable refrigeration. Marketing Director Alan James said "It's in...

CEO's fish-bone diagram criticized for ignoring the meat and potatoes 3
Dumbnews 3 years
Falklands claim sovereignty over Agentina 0
apepper 3 years

The Falkland Islands have claimed the Argentine as Falkland territory. "They're only 200 miles away, so they should clearly come under our control."...

Play Doh face Michael Gove much needed member of the cabinet insists Cameron 0
rustytruss 3 years
Plans to monitor web site visits ‘outrageous’ NO THEY’RE NOT 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Mancini gaffe as he tweets ‘Shattered but happy after Blackburn triumph’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Aung San gaffe as she tweets ‘Shattered but happy after Blackburn triumph' 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Gove acts after signs that criticism of ‘A’ level standards is getting easier 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Damien Hirst labelled as "Fat Cat Banksy" by critics 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Apple introduce new virtual computer – the MacCloud 0
weematt 3 years
Gillette confirm "reduces tug and pull" is a masturbation euphemism 1
simonjmr 3 years
“Oh bollocks...” says Argentinean President [optional title suggestions below] 6
dvo4fun 3 years

In a move which has shocked the colonialist community, a group of indigenous southern American people has claimed sovereignty of the area now described as ‘Argentina’. Argentinean President...

Jocky Wilson put to rest in authentic Viking burial 5
Gong of Fur 3 years

Former darts world champion Jocky Wilson, who died last week, was today put to rest at sea in the traditional Viking fashion, strapped to a burning longboat surrounded with flaming barrels of tar,...

Francis Maude launches new "Fuel around me" app 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

The new app tells motorist if there is fuel within a 200 mile radius and if the petrol station has had delivery with the past two days. Developed by software house iSuck, it is the governments first...

Semi-coherent headline... 20
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Weak follow-up pun...

leading website developer challenged on cleanliness of website animations.. 8
Leopold Gasket 3 years

told to use Flash liquid! (Flash = tool for creating website animations)...

American Fish Found To Be Very Fast 0
Leopold Gasket 3 years

it has a zippy cod! (Zip code)...