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None-too-fussy cormorant fancies a shag 4
Smart Alex 14.05.14 1:36pm
Titus
UKIP urges members to check wood-piles (just in case) 2
Underconstruction 14.05.14 1:28pm
Underconstruction
Rural drink-driving may die out completely warns rich land-owner

Lord Postlethwaite, Earl of Lingwood in Norfolk has warned that pub closures will soon make it impossible for the average man in the street to be drunk at the wheel of a car., Police officers in...

3
Underconstruction 14.05.14 1:27pm
Underconstruction
Boris Johnson unveils new mayoral personal transport

The Mayor of London has shown a sneak peak of his brand new personal transport vehicle, some are dubbing "Borismobile". In a moody photoshoot in one of London's few decrepit warehouses -that have not...

0
Bigglesworth 14.05.14 1:04pm
Bigglesworth
UKIP to Build New Headquarters with Bricks Sent in Post

UKIP today announced plans to leave their current headquarters in Devon and move to a new, purpose-built head office in London. This proposal, originally scheduled for 2020, has been moved forward...

7
james_doc 14.05.14 12:46pm
ick-head
Study finds porn video spoilers a major source of premature ejaculation 0
sydalg 14.05.14 12:16pm
sydalg
Avoidance and Evasion now have same meaning declares BBC language dept.

Other BBC word-melds are. UKIP/Fascist. Man/Rapist. Christian/Bigot. Accusation/Proof. More soon...

4
vulture1 14.05.14 12:09pm
vulture1
Commonwealth Games hide poor ticket sales with IT failure… More soon. 0
ick-head 14.05.14 12:00pm
ick-head
Boko Haram awarded 'good' terrorist rating by Ofsted Nigeria

Previously failing and with its future funding very much in the balance, Nigerian Ofsted Inspectors have declared that Boko Haram is now a 'good' terrorist organisation following its recent...

4
Underconstruction 14.05.14 11:59am
Gerontius
Anglo-Irish League Latest: Birmingham 6 Guildford 4 (Adams sent off foul play) 1
Underconstruction 14.05.14 11:49am
ick-head
Quiet residential street lacks psychopath

A quiet South London residential street does not have one resident who is a psychopath, serial killer or terrorist, it has been claimed. 'It's almost a perfect quiet residential street,' said estate...

5
roybland 14.05.14 11:34am
Titus
Gove awards Free School status to Boco Haram encampment 0
RobArmstrong 14.05.14 11:29am
RobArmstrong
Dyslexic hydrocephalic Ukrainian dissident fails to put his head in a balalaika

Anyone want to photoshop the image?...

1
NewBiscuit 14.05.14 11:24am
Titus
God admits he lied on CV, did not create Universe 2
sydalg 14.05.14 11:22am
Titus
Gove bans any teaching preparation for SATS, 'let's rely on natural selection' 1
RobArmstrong 14.05.14 11:08am
ick-head
Search for Nigerian schoolgirls a 'wider state of fail' 4
Squudge 14.05.14 10:28am
Oxbridge
Pointless fan makes Pointless observation

The BBC is in turmoil today after it received a complaint about wasting licence payers’ money concerning the hit teatime show Pointless, hosted by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman. According...

1
farmer giles 14.05.14 10:22am
ick-head
Mercedes Formula 1 dominance is boring, according to Sebastian Vettel

Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel believes F1 fans will "cancel their Sky subscriptions" if Mercedes continue to dominate the sport. "I know dominance is a dirty word for any sport," he says "just ask...

0
ick-head 14.05.14 10:14am
ick-head
Chelsea sign sponsorship deal with Costa after signing Athletico Madrid striker

Correcting earlier typo...

1
custard cream 14.05.14 10:05am
johnnydobbo
Mercedes test 'bagpipes' exhaust system to address F1 noise criticism… More soon

Mercedes test 'bagpipes' exhaust system to address F1 noise criticism… More soon...

0
ick-head 14.05.14 9:57am
ick-head
BA switches to biofuel; Richard Branson launches Virgin Olive Oil flights 6
Adrian Bamforth 14.05.14 9:12am
custard cream
'Last Man Standing' award for Tony Blackburn

After months of questioning, investigation and developed vetting, Tony Blackburn has received the Radio Academy Award for being the last DJ from the seventies still at liberty to work. Mr Blackburn,...

8
RobArmstrong 14.05.14 8:42am
Scroat
People who bought a house in the 1990s 'still smug', confirms survey

All those who purchased a house in the late 1990s are 'still smug', according to a survey carried out by Halifax this week. The famous house price boom, which saw the value of many properties explode...

17
Jesus H 14.05.14 8:41am
RobArmstrong
IRA Activists to Sue Pub landlord

Following the disclosure that the Northern Ireland Police had obtained incriminating evidence of wrongdoing in the Troubles by asking questions is to be challenged in court. 'When I told a fella in a...

0
throngsman 14.05.14 7:30am
throngsman
Gary Barlow registers other Take That members as 'offshore assets'

Gary Barlow has registered fellow boy band members of Take That as offshore assets in order to minimise tax liabilities towards funding his fellow bandmates. As boyband members, Barlow said these...

1
David K 14.05.14 5:58am
Gerontius
Efficient manager only does the 80/20 of the 80/20 0
Dumbnews 14.05.14 3:29am
Dumbnews
EU must remove MPs if they are out of date or irrelevant, court rules 0
Not Amused 13.05.14 11:31pm
Not Amused
Turkey miners in giblet bonanza 0
Mork 13.05.14 9:06pm
Mork
Latest: Britain's Got Talent cancelled due too much Talent 0
vulture1 13.05.14 9:02pm
vulture1
O'Farrell announces Boco Haram/Procol Harum amnesty until midnight.

The editor has invoked Newbiscuit's 'Flogged so far beyond dead horse we're into meat tenderising territory' clause. Contributors have until midnight tonight to add to the numerous hysterically funny...

10
MADJEZ 13.05.14 8:39pm
bookiesfriend