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Clark Kent accused of hacking Superman's voicemail Daily Planet journalist Clark Kent was taken into custody today by Metropolis police officers after allegations surfaced that he'd hacked into the man of steel's mobile phone voice mail in order to... |
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Bigglesworth |
18.04.14 9:51pm Yikes |
Government to extend life expectancy forecasts to toddlers Following on from the success of providing pensioners with an estimate of how long they may live, the government is extending the service to include toddlers. "While it has proven useful for... |
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throngsman |
18.04.14 8:52pm throngsman |
Cameron incident upsets jellyfish, leaves ‘nasty taste in the mouth’... |
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Tripod |
18.04.14 5:39pm Squudge |
Immediately after his espousal of Christianity, Cameron is stung by jellyfish Turns out there is a God after all... |
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pinxit |
18.04.14 5:05pm Wrenfoe |
Cameron decides what this country needs is more religious claptrap. "Six days shalt thou labour for minimum wage and on the seventh thou shalt chillax" and other holy utterances out soon in paperback... |
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vulture1 |
18.04.14 3:29pm vulture1 |
Rutland mother of five 'gutted' that the earth didn't actually move for her |
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Underconstruction |
18.04.14 1:28pm Underconstruction |
Aliens filmed petting on olympic swimming-pool sized asteroid Astronomers tasked with filming the near-miss of asteroid DA14 as it passed Earth have expressed delight and surprise at footage which clearly shows aliens engaged in heavy-petting.,
"Several frames... |
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Underconstruction |
18.04.14 1:26pm Underconstruction |
Ofsted shocked at 'unusual practices' at Hogwarts School Ofsted Head Sir Michael Wilshaw said inspectors were shocked at the 'unusual practices' they uncovered in a surprise inspection of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Academy).,
"The first... |
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custard cream |
18.04.14 1:23pm custard cream |
Boost for Miliband, as invertebrate enjoys success against Cameron |
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Andy Gilder |
18.04.14 10:56am Andy Gilder |
Farage denies existence of UKIP jellyfish training centre. More soon. |
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dominic_mcg |
18.04.14 10:37am dominic_mcg |
Jellyfish reminded me of Nick Clegg, admits PM |
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Squudge |
18.04.14 10:03am Squudge |
Cameron in sting. Orders poached salmon in aspic gets jellyfish. More soon. |
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dominic_mcg |
18.04.14 10:00am dominic_mcg |
NUT members delighted that leader spoke 'clearly and nicely' throughout address |
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Underconstruction |
18.04.14 9:16am Underconstruction |
Toads demand that toadstools be re-named. |
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Maverick |
18.04.14 9:15am Maverick |
Da Vinci portrait confirmed as a 'selfie' |
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Underconstruction |
18.04.14 9:13am Underconstruction |
Abu Hamza unable to play hooky in US courtroom Islamist preacher Abu Hamza, born Mustafa Kamal Mustafa, has appeared at the US federal court in New York this week, minus his scary bits. Hamza lost his hands doing something that 'went down a bomb... |
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Squudge |
18.04.14 9:09am GrumpyCat |
Pensioners helpfully told 'your days are numbered' Minister Steve Webb proposes that all of the UK's OAPs should be given a stark reality check in terms of life expectancy. Mr. Webb's understandable concern is that the elderly are unaware of their... |
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Wrenfoe |
18.04.14 6:41am Wrenfoe |
Andre Johnsonless. |
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Maverick |
18.04.14 5:52am Maverick |
Wanted Arab terrorists located by scent of their strong perfume |
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Dumbnews |
18.04.14 3:27am Dumbnews |
Supermarkets Admit Lamb Products May Contain Bush Meat. No Horse related Phenyl Butazone carcinogens this time then, only a slight risk of haemorrhagic fever... |
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Rumour Control |
18.04.14 12:24am Rumour Control |
Snowden Asks Putin ‘Will the KGB cut my Balls off if I do not Co-operate’ In the most unconvincing propaganda yet, Putin denies mass interception of communications in Russia, "nothing like that happens in this enlightened country free from police suppression and... |
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Rumour Control |
18.04.14 12:15am Rumour Control |
London Marathon to be revamped as London Snickers |
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camz |
17.04.14 11:22pm camz |
Last of the Mohicans - Diary entry: "Off to get a bowl cut" |
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camz |
17.04.14 10:56pm camz |
Cut-Backs Affect Local Newsp |
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Titus |
17.04.14 10:09pm Titus |
US Courts agree to deport Abu Hamza back to the UK |
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bonjonelson |
17.04.14 10:01pm bonjonelson |
Cardiff complain to League that Palace knew in advance that they were shit Cardiff City have sent a 5-page letter of complaint to the Premier League arguing that their 3-0 defeat at the hands of Crystal Palace in early April should not stand. The Welsh club claim to have... |
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bookiesfriend |
17.04.14 9:47pm Squudge |
PM preempts Female MPs PMQ problems with PMT pun. More soon. |
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dominic_mcg |
17.04.14 8:51pm dominic_mcg |
Sham halal lamb a ding dong. More soon. |
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dominic_mcg |
17.04.14 8:39pm Not Amused |
Scientists to start looking for planets nothing like this hellhole |
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Bigglesworth |
17.04.14 8:10pm Bigglesworth |
Cameron "may be descended from Moses". Has already divided nation |
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Andy Gilder |
17.04.14 6:39pm Andy Gilder |