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Berezovsky dead: Polonium KitKat Chunky bars recalled 0
Iscariot 23.03.13 10:30pm
Queen does rough draft of telegram to Philip for 2021 0
sydalg 23.03.13 9:50pm
Breaking News: Pope Francis Announces Shock Early Retirement.

.. Pope Benedict forced to move into smaller apartment still as Pope Frank announces early move-in to Castel Gandolfo. Just when we thought two popes were one too many, now its three popes are two...

BewsNiscuit 23.03.13 9:43pm
Children 'dead boring' expert says

Children are dead boring says education expert Dr Maureen Sloan of the University of East Anglia's School of Education. 'Many people, especially parents, like to think of young children as lively,...

roybland 23.03.13 9:28pm
Cyprus "disappointed" over Euro Lottery result

Cypriot President Nicos Anastasiades and party leaders are today bemoaning the latest failed financial recovery plan and are blaming the "unlucky" numbers they bought in the weekend's Euro Lottery.,...

Walter Eagle 23.03.13 8:47pm
sponge finger
'Shock and surprise' as man found reading review section of weekend newspapers. 0
Mandy Lifeboat 23.03.13 8:28pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Limbs Reunited site a big hit with landmine victims 0
sydalg 23.03.13 7:35pm
Mobile phone company boasts serving over 10 million unsatisfied customers 1
Dumbnews 23.03.13 5:43pm
Unemployed chain smokers to replace animals in science experiment labs

The influence of animal rights campaigners became evident today as the government announced plans to forcibly replace animals in science experiment labs with unemployed smokers, drinkers and drug...

Reg Herring 23.03.13 5:29pm
Big Ben
Hospital Inspections based on 'Snog, Marry Avoid'

Now we know why Mid Staffs Hospital passed numerous inspections whilst having a mortality rate similar to the first day of the Somme. Inspectors have been grading hospitals according to the...

deceangli 23.03.13 5:26pm
Big Ben
Breaking News: Chemical Romance dissolved. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 23.03.13 3:57pm
Al OPecia
UK ordered NOT to expel Devil

British taxpayers are to continue funding the "luxury lifestyle on benefits" of a dangerous foreign criminal who is making some people's lives "hell" The ECHR in Strasbourg ruled that if we cast Mr...

Flash! Aa-aaaa! 23.03.13 3:27pm
Big Ben
“Diet lard” released to combat obesity epidemic

Lard companies have jumped on the socially responsible bandwagon by releasing “diet lard’, a new product for fat people who don’t really like salad but like lard. Diet lard is being produced...

Yikes 23.03.13 2:33pm
Paddy Berzinski
New Strain of Strep Hits South Africa

Doctors are reporting that the latest disease ‘out of Africa’, is quite choosy about its victims, and unfortunately has only one symptom and that is hardly noticeable. Nevertheless, there are...

Big Ben 23.03.13 2:28pm
Big Ben
Church of England accidentally launches jihad against Methodists 0
sydalg 23.03.13 1:40pm
Bad weather forces Spring to conclude under Duckworth-Lewis method

Unseasonably bad weather has forced the cancellation of Spring after less than 30 days. People throughout the UK have been advised to stay indoors until Summer, with the rest of Spring to finish...

Yikes 23.03.13 1:32pm
Hot cross buns sign up for anger management course 2
Ian Searle 23.03.13 1:32pm
Ian Searle
Lack of wisden blamed for poor Neato entry 0
godly1966 23.03.13 1:15pm
Skeleton staff to continue to operate Sellafield

Following the re-opening of the Sellafield nuclear reprocessing plant after severe weather conditions forced its shutdown, the skeleton-staff left in charge of the plant has in fact been reduced to...

Dick Everyman 23.03.13 12:58pm
Javed Miandad to be first father & son to play in Pakistan cricket team 0
godly1966 23.03.13 12:45pm
Old Kent Road most affordable area of London according to Monopoly board survey.

Results also suggest prices haven't risen since 1933...

Ian Searle 23.03.13 11:58am
Ian Searle
English Cricket Team "invisible due to spring weather". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 23.03.13 11:35am
Al OPecia
British Summer Time to be sued

A group of American tourists has launched a class action against the UK government after it was revealed that British Summer Time is actually colder than whatever the other season is called...

deceangli 23.03.13 11:34am
china and russia in bidding war over cyprus

for oil reserves found closed to the shore (should probably have some pictur eof a sun tan oild bottle bobbing on the water)...

4ty2 23.03.13 11:13am
Greece to sell Cyprus to pay off national debt. 13
Ostsee 23.03.13 11:06am
West Korea avoids conflict with the North by pretending not to exist.

Diplomats in the Republic of West Korea were being lauded last night after seventy years of peaceful coexistence with both the Southern Republic of Korea and the Northern People's Democratic...

bonjonelson 23.03.13 10:19am
'iKorea' - New App Aids On-Line Purchase Of Cheap Asian Flat-Pack Furniture 0
Titus 23.03.13 10:07am
Korea in towards End of Daewoos.

Apocalyptic concerns of many Americans over Anderson Air Force Base on Guam being within range of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, were definitely not eased today when Brian Cox coaxed them...

Big Ben 23.03.13 9:14am
Midnight Dreary
A Cross Tick

Increasingly, Nowadays, Found, Lurking, After, Maliciously, Entering, Skin...

Big Ben 23.03.13 8:52am
Big Ben
Keen Justice Just Isn’t (2)

As a result of his recent verdict in the Sheard versus Simpson (deceased) case, Judge Roger Keen was galled at having to explain the justice system yet again, to common plebs who are miserably...

Big Ben 23.03.13 8:32am
Big Ben