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News Biscuit Sub Awarded Accurate Merit-Based Star Rating 15
UnoEye 3 years

Shockwaves have been sent through the online community at the News Biscuit website when a mediocre submission from mildly able contributor “UnoEye” was awarded a star rating appropriate to the...

Chris Huhne to deny speed bump removal using the basic tools of stone masonry 6
Gary Stanton 3 years

Cabinet Minister Chris Huhne is at the centre of a fresh driving storm after allegations that he attempted to remove a series of speed bumps from outside a primary school using a mallet and a chisel....

Trace elements blamed for wave of involuntary homeopathic cures 2
cinquecento 3 years
Bear Grylls endorses range of beef wellingtons 9
3 years

Pint-sized survival fan Bear Grylls has launched a new range of sturdy beef wellingtons. Waterproof, practical and steeped in madeira wine, the gastronomic footwear is a must for explorers who find...

Clowns demand pay rise for appearing in children's nightmares 3
hughesroland 3 years

Clowns across the country yesterday demanded a pay rise of up to 15% to ensure they would 'continue to haunt the sleep of our nation's youths forever'. Up to now, under strict government regulation,...

Sales of big screen TVs slump as people start sitting closer 12
apepper 3 years

Sales of large screen LCD TVs have nosedived as people have realised that the same affect can be obtained by moving the chair closer to the television...

Spoon crime “now worse than knife crime” on Isle of Wight 4
nickb 3 years

Figures released today in Ventnor show that spoon-related crime is soaring in comparison to knife-related crime on Britain’s favourite holiday island. While relatively few are convicted of...

No word on missing Scott naval officer - fears grow 3
roybland 3 years

An audacious attempt to emulate Captain Scott's South Pole achievement of a century ago hangs in the balance today as fears grow for a missing naval officer. 'One hundred years ago Scott, despite...

Future of capitalism in doubt as Jagger pulls out of Davos summit 0
roybland 3 years

The future of capitalism is in doubt today with news that Sir Mick Jagger has declined an invitation to attend a UK event at the World Economic Forum in the mountain Swiss village of Davos. The...

Pope recommends silence - "especially about, you know what..." 1
apepper 3 years

The Pope has chosen World Communication Day to speak about the importance of silence in the face of Internet noise. "Things would be much better if certain people had kept quiet", he explained...

Criticism of Costa Concordia is health and safety gone mad - Daily Mail 1
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Ofcom 'very OK' with new childrens programme Minging Mong Mandy 0
Username 3 years
Daily Mail complains Olympic Games contains 'too many races' 1
Perks 3 years
Portsmouth FC now financially too dodgy for Mafia investor 4
Immunis 3 years
Embarrassment for Cameron as Rosie Redknapp revealed to be Tory donor 1
button 3 years
Rosie the Dog takes charge at Pompey - 'Ruff times are rover' 1
Drylaw 3 years
Northern lights will reduce Scotland's carbon footprint. 0
Ostsee 3 years
Gervais hails 'mong' ruling a 'Major victory for cunts everywhere' 1
gaijintendo 3 years Gervais, who has been campaigning against other peoples feelings for years...

Housewife Mabel Blenkinsop receives Oscar nomination for 'The Ironing Lady' 0
JETFAB 3 years
Blue Peter presenter recaptured after 18 day chase through Antarctica 3
Immunis 3 years
Obese Community Irate over launch of Cancer Barbie. 0
jenkins 3 years

"It's just not fair", said a spokesperson from Obesity UK. "Little girls with cancer will be able to play with a bald Cancer Barbie, so why shouldn't little girls who suffer from obesity be able to...

4th Emergency Service downgraded by Standard & Poor to BB 1
Nails UK 3 years

Alcoholics Anonymous also likely to be reappraised...

Redknapp's lawyer proves legitimate payment of £200k to 'Brian Griffin' 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Aretha Franklin cancels wedding.'He wouldn't say a little prayer' 0
JETFAB 3 years
'More than just a gym' admits that it is, in fact, just a gym 0
Bravenewmalden 3 years

A fitness gym in Doncaster which used the slogan 'Barry's - More Than Just A Gym' had been forced to concede that a gym is exactly what it is. The admission came after Doncaster resident Ron Troves...

“Might be a tummy bug” results in Civil Servant's sixth Monday off sick 4
kimllfixit 3 years

Civil Service offices across the country are considering a massive deep-cleaning and health inspection as mysterious illnesses strike down many office workers on yet another Monday morning. 38 year...

Noel Gallagher slams NME award as "not sufficiently 'ighbrow" 0
Al McHogan 3 years
Tories Promise "No Bonuses and Wage Cut" for "Greedy" Jodrell Bankers 1
thisisall1word 3 years
snow globes to help in NHS shake-up 0
victimms 3 years
Drug mules to be shown sentencing leniency if their ass has been exploited 0
charlies_hat 3 years